Mass Effect : Dreams
by Kalenath Shok-Tan
Summary: Before Andromeda, there was a dream. To go where no one else had, to see what no one else would. But there were other dreams as well, some good, some bad. This is the story of one of those and the man who dreamed it. This is a fanfiction, I own none of the rights to Mass Effect. There will be spoilers from ME 1, 2 and probably Andromeda. Mostly OC with a few guest stars. Fem Shep.
1. Chapter 1

**Crazy**

He was going crazy. Scratch that. He _was_ crazy.

This whole situation was utterly insane.

He didn't know how long he had been in this box. He didn't know where he was or what was happening outside the box. He couldn't remember what had happened. Why he was here or even where here was. He hurt in a number of places, but when he tried to figure out why, he couldn't remember. He checked his extremities again and they all worked, so that was good.

The box wasn't like anything he had ever seen before. It felt fleshy instead of metallic when he touched it.

It was-

Something changed, but he couldn't define what. His world shifted.

He was sitting in something that moved. He wasn't sure what it was, but it was very familiar. He was surrounded by controls and displays. Hands that he knew were his were moving over the controls quickly. In front of him was a windscreen of some kind, the panes angled sharply on either side of him. To deflect incoming fire that got past the barriers. He knew that. But from where?

And what were 'barriers'?

Everything was cold, hard. Angular. He heard a voice that he knew wasn't his speaking behind him, but he couldn't see the speaker. For one thing, it was female. For another? It was younger than he was. She was 23. He knew that. Somehow.

"You better be sure about this, Walrus. The brass will have our asses if we don't-" The voice cut off as a loud 'bang' sounded nearby. A short moan cut off suddenly and he felt a pang of grief flew through him. But… why?

He saw something through the windscreen. It was big, blocky and ugly looking. Its colors were all wrong and it was… it was growing! It was getting closer. Or he was getting closer to _it_. It was hard to tell what was happening.

He stared as bright lights flashed by the windscreen. Somehow, he knew what they were. Tracers. Mass driven projectiles that were treated with a substance that made a light and smoke trail as they traveled. The bullets flew so fast that it was could be very hard to aim with them even with technological assistance. How did he know that? He wasn't sure.

He did something and whooshes sounded form either side. One, two, three, four, five six corkscrew trails of smoke arced away from him into the side of the large thing he was aiming for. His hands did something and the area ahead of him filled it a buzzing noise. He watched as the six trails hit the object ahead of him and burst into bright fireballs, each impacting something that shimmered blue. Was it his imagination that the shimmer was weaker? The buzzing became a roar and he stared as a torrent of tracers went ahead of him and…

Yes! The shimmer had failed! The barrier was down!

A growl that the knew came from his lips sounded as the hands that he knew were his slammed controls and the object was suddenly huge in his screen.

His world shifted.

"...this stupid fracking human cost us _everything!_ "

Pain flared across his entire body. Every single muscle hurt. What had happened? He couldn't remember. Someone kicked him and he bit back a groan.

"The entire _shipment_ was in that one container?" A hard female voice sounded as something grabbed his arm and gave a yank. "Oh, stop that. Haven't you hurt it _enough_?"

"We hadn't had time to shift the animals into processing. The Alliance was on us too fast. And _this_ one..." Another kick and he felt ribs break. "It blew the container supports. The ship couldn't lift with the container hanging loose. We had to abandon it all."

"Well, that explains why you are so pissed off." The female voice laughed. "Was your stash in the container too?"

"This isn't funny!" The other snapped. "The Hegemony is expecting a load of slaves. If we don't get a load, they will put _us_ in the pens instead. You know that."

"There are always more animals. Humans breed like flies." The female sounded clinical now. "But this one… Was he the pilot?"

"Don't know. Don't care." Another kick and suddenly the male gasped. "Let go!"

"If he _is_ pilot trained, he can be worth a lot more than a pile of menials." The female sounded savage. "Heal him and get him processed. We got instructions. We are heading to join a fleet."

"Oh?" The male sounded confused now.

"Yeah, we got a nice fat target." The female chuckled. "The humans didn't bother to protect their 'Elysium' at all. We can take the whole colony, steal everything and take all of the humans before their silly little fleet can react."

"I don't know about this, boss." The male said slowly. 'If _those_ humans are anything like this guy and the team he was carrying… They died to the last human to keep us from taking any slaves."

"Well, then they will be worth a lot, won't they?"

Another shift.

" _Damn him!_ That lying sack of krogan shit said it was an _easy target!_ " The female was in rare form. "Sneaky humans _had_ to have more than _one soldier_ there no matter _what_ the reports said. How many did we lose?"

"Only four made it back to the ship, Boss." A young sounding female. This one sounded weak or hurt. "We will need more meat to corral the animals if we are going out again. We got two containers full, but… No one to process them."

"Gas them and we will work on them together." The one who had to be in charge sounded tired now. "We need to have something to show the rep when we arrive at Torfan. This one… He is healed enough. Start with him."

"Yes, Ma'am. Sorry soldier." The weak voice said quietly. "But better you than me."

Agony tore through his back and then his head. He couldn't fight. He couldn't resist. He couldn't even _scream_. All he could do was…

The world shifted.

"What the hell is going on?"

"I don't know! There were no scans, nothing on sensor! It was a hulk!" The weak voice sounded frantic. "Ripe for salvage!"

"Well, it is not a hulk _now!_ " The voice of the leader was angry beyond belief. "Whatever the hell these things are, they have torn through most of the ship. Why didn't you blow the airlock?"

" _You_ are the only one with the codes to-" The younger voice cut out with the sound of a gunshot.

"Yeah. My bad." The leader said flatly. "Oh well. At least I don't have to face the Hegemony's rep with this… what? No! NO!"

A horrible gurgling scream cut her words short and then there was silence. He could hear things around him. But the sounds did not make any sense. Was that _music_ he heard?

He was..

It was…

* * *

Lieutenant Senior Grade Jackson Collains, nickname 'Jak' and to a very select few, call sign 'Walrus' jerked awake with a scream that cut off as soon as he realized where he was. It was 2184, eight years since... It had happened.

He felt the bed around his lower body and winced as he felt wetness.

"Damn. Not again."

The tiny room was as it always was on waking. The small bed that he used was rumpled form his tossing and turning. He would change the sheets before he left for the day. They always told him that he didn't have to do that, but it made him feel a little better after he made messes in the night. At least he hadn't done number two this time. The only other furniture was a chair that currently had a datapad in it and nothing else. He didn't need anything but the drawers under his bed for his meager possessions.

Collains gave himself a shake and sat up. The room's sensors, seeing him move, activated the illumination at his desired level. Blinding. He had been military for so long that it was the next best thing to having Reveille or a General Quarters alarm played loudly at his ear for waking him up fast. Those had never endeared him to his neighbors so he had compromised with the lights. He took a few moments to breathe, banishing the residue of the nightmare before stepped out of the bed and starting his routine.

Every day, barring any day that he was physically unable to do so, he did a hundred pushups and a hundred jumping jacks before showering. There wasn't a lot of space in his room, but he managed. He was sweating and wide awake when he finished. He stripped the bed quickly, adding the sheets and pillowcase to his dirty and sweaty nightclothes. Then he pulled his robe from where it lay under the bed, unfolding it with the care of long practice. He needed the routine, it soothed him with everything else that was going on in his life.

It had been years since his ordeal. Since Elysium. Since his small team had been wiped out preventing a slaver raid on an isolated human outpost. Since the Alliance had found him and not only given him a medal, but promoted him. He had thrown the medal into a trash bin as soon as he had left the general's office. They had tried to give him assignments and he hadn't been capable. Some of the Alliance officials were kind, others spoke of cowardice and dereliction of duty. He ignored them all. He had not -quite- fallen as far as he could. The docs had done what they could, but he couldn't fight anymore. He couldn't fly after whatever the hell the blasted slavers had done to him. Now? All Jak could do was take it a day at a time.

He slipped on the robe that was provided and slipped out into the common area. Thankfully, no one else was up at this early hour, so he would have the shower area to himself. He didn't have a problem with showering co-ed, but some did and he much preferred to be left alone. The scars left buy the slavers and their machines would either draw pity or derision and he didn't like dealing with either.

Collains finished his shower quickly and efficiently, then toweled off just as quickly before putting the towel into the laundry bin. Such speed was just as the Alliance had trained him. Waste as little as possible, because you never knew when that water you were washing with was going to have to be recycled and then drunk. He remembered living on the onboard rations of a Mantis gunship for a week once, while stuck in the back of beyond with…

He slammed a fist into the wall hard enough to hurt.

"It is over." Collains snarled at himself and pulled his robe on over only slightly damp flesh. "I am not… I am not..." He gasped as the pain flared back into his head and he bit back a scream. Whatever the slavers had done to him lingered even now.

A familiar acerbic voice pulled Collains back from his past.

"Gonna pass out now, Hero?" Collains didn't need to look to know that Sergeant Kooper was standing there. He too was a veteran, if of a very different stripe.

"No kids to torment here, Kooper." Jak retorted as he pulled himself up straight through sheer force of will. Kooper flushed at that. The former Alliance Drill Instructor had been diagnosed with severe PTSD and depression after more than a dozen marines had been killed in a training exercise on Luna when the VI there had gone nuts. He had been in charge of the teams there and lost most of them. To friendly fire. But the rivalry between space and marine had to be kept up. "But for what it is worth, if I _do_ pass out, you have my royal hero permission to piss on me."

The sergeant stared at him and then he laughed. He held out a hand that Collains took. They were good friends, not that many would know it from hearing them talk.

"Bad night, sir?" Kooper asked softly. Collains nodded. "Me too. I saw Richter blown in half again." He slumped a bit. "Gotta talk to the docs again. Man, I hate it when they change my meds. I get all fuzzy and useless for a day or so."

"Know the feeling, sarge." The lieutenant said weakly. "I relived most of it." The sergeant hissed and nodded. He knew the real story, not just the pretty pieces the civvies knew. "Wet the fracking bed again. What am I? _Three_?"

"Which they had a magic techno pill for this crap, sir." The sergeant said with a growl. "This really sucks."

"No joke, sergeant." Collains nodded to the sergeant. "Better get your shower done before the admiral graces us with his presence." He smiled as the sergeant groaned, but it wasn't really funny.

'The Admiral', also know as Ensign Teman Burns Geoffrey Sinclair the Second, was yet another of the inhabitants of this place. He wasn't a bad sort, not really. He wasn't violent or even loud. What he was, was highly delusional. He thought that he was Admiral Horatio Nelson, the British admiral of Trafalgar fame. It didn't matter that Nelson had died centuries before Sinclair was born. It didn't matter that the _reason_ he thought that he was a British naval hero was that a freak power grid failure had exposed the poor ensign's brain to far too many joules of energy. Only his duty armor had saved his life and that hadn't saved his sanity. What mattered was that he had been hurt on duty and that put him here. He wasn't a bad sort, just… He put on airs and it rubbed a _lot_ of people the wrong way.

"Get out of here, ya silly flyboy." The sergeant growled. "Or do you need a little boy with a lantern to show you the way out of the the latrines again?"

"I thought it was just ground pounders who couldn't figure navigation out without GPS, three computers _and_ a call to HQ." Collains said with a smile as the sarge shook his head. Then both turned and went their separate ways. He started for his room, only to pause as he heard a small sob from nearby, followed by a giggle. "Oh, not _again!_ "

He spun around a corner and found what he expected. Lara was backed against a wall and Cross was leering at her, making suggestive motions with his hands. He coughed slightly and the man spun, eyes huge as he took in the soldiers standing there. Cross was many things, he wasn't stupid. He didn't have a chance against Collains in a fight and he knew it. Even in a robe, Jak knew he was intimidating.

"Leave Lara alone." Collains said flatly.

"You want a piece too, man?" Cross said with a grin that showed far too few teeth to be healthy.

"No." Collains said firmly. "I want you to leave before I call an orderly. You know they don't like upsetting everyone before breakfast, but if you keep hounding her, I will."

"You think you are so special." Cross tried to swell, but he might mass half of Collains and it didn't have the desired effect.

"No." Collains reached out to Lara and she grasped hold of his hand as if it would vanish. "Actually, I don't. But I do know that if you keep pushing, they will toss you out on your ear, maybe send you back to a regular prison." Collains wasn't sure what Cross had done, the docs were very tight lipped about it. What he _was_ sure about was that the man was a snake. "I catch you hounding her or any of the others again and I will tell the docs. They will punish you."

"Gonna tattle, army boy?" Cross laughed, but it felt weak.

"Better tattling than _breaking_." Jak Collains had always been proud of his glower. It was one thing that he had practiced again and again in front of a mirror as a child, working to get just the proper inflection and arch of eyebrow to get the most bang for the buck. Cross could only take a few moments of it before bolting for his room. Jak shook his head and looked at Lara. "Why are you here? You know he is dangerous, right?"

She nodded, her short brown hair bobbing as she smiled at him. Her hazel eyes weer downcast as always. She never seemed to be anything but sad and she never talked. She was older than she looked, when asked, the docs had placed her age closer to Jak's 24 than her apparent teenage years. She smiled at him and he felt his heart melt. She too had run afoul of slavers and her mind didn't work quite right as a result but somehow, she knew he would protect her.

He had never met Lara before arriving here but as soon as she had seen him, she had swarmed into his arms as if they had been long lost friends or more.

"Lara, why are you here?" Jak asked. "The female dorms are separate for a _reason_. Cross is hardly the only one who is dangerous here. Come on, let's get you back." He took her hand and led her towards the hatch that led from the male dormitories into the larger hospital proper.

She looked at him and her face creased with effort, but no sound came out when she opened her mouth. She looked vexed but then sighed and gave his hand a squeeze before pulling him towards the hatch.

"What?" Jak asked, confused. "You want me to come? I cannot go into your dorms." He paused as the door slid open and the head nurse came in, her face a study. She relaxed and smiled on seeing Lara and Jak. "Janice? Cross cornered her, but I got her away from him."

"Thank you, Lieutenant." Janice was always so blasted formal. "We have a visitor, and in the excitement, she slipped out of her dorm and into yours."

"I have no idea why she thinks I am so special." Jak complained Lara clutched his hand tight and he relented. "Sorry, Lara, but I don't."

"There are worse people to focus on." Janice reached out and took Lara's other hand. "Come on, honey. Jak needs to dress nice and you need a shower."

"Uh… why?" Jak asked, suddenly suspicious.

"Some bigwig has come to talk to you and the other veterans." Janice shook her head. "We tried to put him off, but he is insistent and has powerful friends. We did insist on a personal interview with one of us present."

"Best I can hope for." Jak said with a wince. "I... Um...I need more sheets."

"You know we would handle that, Lieutenant." Janice frowned slightly as Lara clung to her hand.

"My mess, I clean it up." Jak replied instantly. She shook her head, but he was sure she was successfully fighting a smile. "What is this bigwig's name anyway?"

"Ryder."


	2. Chapter 2

**Initiatives**

The day had barely started and Jak wanted it over and done with already. The facility, more properly known as Singer Psychiatric Hospital, was a known quantity in Jak's life and had been for the last two years. He hadn't wanted to come here, but the Veterans Affairs people had insisted and finally, he had given in. It wasn't a bad place at all, and most of the time, he was content with his life, if uncomfortable with some of it. The bed wetting came high on that list. The doctors and nurses here really wanted to make a difference and for many, they did. Kooper in particular was getting better. Jak figured that the sergeant would be leaving in a few months and get back to work, maybe not as a Drill Instructor again, but as something Alliance related. Jak didn't have that choice.

What had been done to Jak had hurt him on a fundamental level. He wasn't cognitively impaired, instead his hurts were mostly physical with dreams that left him a wreck and the odd waking flashback. His fine motor control had taken a serious hit from what the slavers had done to him. Add to that the potential for seizures and he was never going to fly again. No one wanted a pilot who might have a seizure in mid-flight after all. He had only had them when his meds were out of whack, but he _had_ endured them. Luckily, he had never started drinking, but it had only been a matter of time.

Jak's life hadn't been a lot of fun even before the slavers. He hadn't had a family, instead growing up on the dirty, smelly downside streets of Earth. His life prior to the Alliance had been a long string of petty crimes that had culminated in the colossal stupidity of trying to rob a recruiting center with a small gang. Looking back, Jak had to scoff at his naivete. He had seen the uniforms, the clean bodies and with his 'hombres', had assumed the Alliance soldiers were weak. Big mistake.

When he had woken on the pavement outside the recruiting center, after being soundly thrashed by the smallest and slightest of the recruiters and literally tossed out like garbage, Jak had undergone an epiphany. His gang had run away, those who were conscious. The smallest of the recruiters -a _girl_ no less!- had resoundingly trashed five big strapping toughs and hadn't broken a sweat doing it. He wanted to be like that. That confident, that capable, that _everything_. He had dusted himself off, gone back in, apologized for his stupidity and asked for information. The recruiters had been less than enthused, but the girl who had tossed him and his fellows about like ragdolls had taken pity on him. She had answered his questions, all of them. He had signed up on the spot.

Only afterward did he realize that only a _fool_ would send weak or spineless people to man a recruiting center in the slums of Old Madrid. He had found out much later that the little girl who had trashed his gang was an Olympic finalist in martial arts as well as a decorated combat veteran. It had not surprised him. What _had_ surprised him was that she had not killed any of his compatriots. She could have far more easily. In the course of Alliance training, he found himself pushed to his limits and beyond more than once. He had excelled in training and been pushed into flight school. Truthfully, he had never looked back, never once gone back to Earth after leaving.

But not even Alliance training could have prepared him for what he had gone through after being captured just before the Skyllian Blitz. It was a wonder he had survived what he had and often, Jak wondered why he had.

Jak finished his breakfast and put the tray in the pile to be cleaned, separating the utensils carefully out of habit. Lara looked up from where she was eating with the girls, but she was only halfway through her meal and no matter her wishes, the docs insisted she eat. She was not the half starved wreck she had been when she had arrived, but she was still underweight. Jak smiled as Talitha, her roommate, pushed her to continue eating. The two girls had banded together over shared horrors, and they were inseparable generally. Not every patient here was allowed to have a roommate, but both Talitha and Lara were better for it. Talitha hadn't been alone since being rescued. She had been taken in a batarian raid on Mindoir and had spent sixteen years as a slave. She really needed the focus. Lara couldn't talk, but her heart was in the right place. Both girls looked out for the other and they were both making progress. He paused as Talitha looked at him. She smiled a little hesitantly and nodded before returning to her meal. She wasn't very good with people yet, but she did help Lara and that was a good thing.

Jak started for the door and paused a Doctor Kassidy appeared in it. The man nodded to him and made a head gesture at the door. The room was loud enough with fifty people eating that conversation was essentially pointless even if it wasn't private. Kassidy was a good one, a civilian but with the soul of a drill sergeant. He oversaw the physical well being of everyone present in the facility and he brooked no trespass when it came to their health. At the same time, he made allowances for many of the patients. It made no _sense_ for someone like Talitha to try and match _Jak's_ level of stamina, for instance. The girl was tough and wiry, no question, but she didn't have his endurance or training. The fact that she had survived being enslaved at size years old spoke volumes for her determination and grit, but she wasn't physically capable of what Jak was. She never would be.

"Doc." Jak said quietly as Kassidy led him out of what Jak always called the mess hall.

"You going like that?" Kassidy's dark eyes held no reproof, simply curiosity. Jak looked down at his robe and sighed.

"It is this or my uniform, doc and I don't feel right wearing that." Jak admitted. He glanced back at the mess hall where Ensign Sinclair said in a fairly faithful reproduction of a British Admiral's uniform from the Napoleonic Wars. He stifled a wince but the doc had sharp eyes.

"You are not like him. They didn't formally discharge you. You are on special assignment" Kassidy's tone held no censure at all and the Jak appreciated that. His life was hard enough at times. "You have the right to wear it still."

"I am not on a special assignment, all I am is in limbo waiting for them to get the paperwork done so they can boot me out." Jak said more or less automatically and then flushed. "Sorry, had a bad night. I am out of sorts. Didn't feel like wearing my civvies. Not that I _have_ many civilian clothes."

"At least you travel light." Kassidy smiled and Jak had to smile with him. A few of the patients in the place had arrived with luggage, some of them with a _lot_ of luggage. By contrast, Jak's small bag had taken up half of a locker. He had filled the other lockers since with stuff.

"Never had much and you learn to keep your travel allowances small." Jak agreed. "What is the deal? Any idea why this bigwig is here?"

"No." Kassidy shook his head. "Thing is, I did a little research when he arrived. His name is Alec Ryder and he was an N7."

"Wait." Jak stopped in midstep. " _Alec Ryder?_ The Ryder that was with _Grissom_? _That_ Alec Ryder?"

"Yeah." Kassidy made a face. "Apparently, he made some messes and was kicked out of the Alliance. Not sure why."

"I heard some rumors, but they didn't make any sense." Jak admitted. "Not that rumors ever make much sense." Kassidy smiled at that and Jak continued. "He was... I mean, the man was a bit of a legend in the forces. One of the first N7s, one of the first humans through a mass relay, one of the first humans to meet an alien, -he survived the First Contact War for god's sake!- and _then_ , one of the first military people assigned to the Citadel, always the first to go and see things…" He paused. "I don't know much more than that. There was a bunch of talk about why he got the boot, but nothing specific."

"That is pretty much all that is on the extranet too." Kassidy shook his head. "So whatever this is, it isn't public. Do you think it could be some kind of off the books Alliance operation?" Jak thought about that for a moment and then shook his head.

"No." Jak said firmly. "You don't use someone that well known for black ops. He _might_ be used as a front man for such, but if _half_ of what I have heard about Alec Ryder is true, trying to use that man as a patsy would hurt. A lot."

"So you have no idea why he is here." Kassidy mused as he started off again.

"Nope." Jak shrugged. "No idea why he wants to talk to a pilot who can't pilot anymore."

"You are making solid progress, Lieutenant." Kassidy said with a nod. "Far better than some here. You have already been a month and a half without a seizure."

"I wet the fricking bed last night, Doc." Jak said sourly. Kassidy did not comment. "I know it was reaction to the memories. But… Damn, I wish they could just wipe the bad ones and leave me the rest."

"You and me both sometimes." Jak looked at the doc and the older human looked worn and tired for a moment. Jak didn't bother with pithy comments or anything. He just nodded.

"Anyone have any idea why Lara fixated on me?" Jak asked as they walked. "I mean, I don't mind her fawning on me. Much." He made a face as the doc chuckled. "Laugh it up, doc. I ain't touching her. She _looks_ like jailbait no matter what anyone says her real age is. I saw girls her age turning tricks on the streets of Lower Madrid when I was a kid and I wouldn't touch them then. Certainly not going to touch her now." He shook his head. "Damn slavers."

"Agreed." Kassidy said with a grunt. He nodded to the door. "You want me inside? He wants to talk to each person alone, but the rules say no."

"I doubt he is here to kill me, doc." Jak smirked at the doc's expression. "Most of what I have heard about him says he is a straight shooter. Then again, I have been out of the loop. Come on in, if he asks you to leave, I will decide then if I want to hear him out or not."

"Fair enough." The doc replied and led the way into the room.

The room wasn't very large. It was designed for conferences between doctors and comfort was a distinct second place to efficiency. A small table with a set of holo projectors, a series of chairs around said table and not much else. The only concession to life was a coffee maker set on a small table that was built into the wall. As Jak walked in, he saw a stranger in a not-quite-a-uniform fiddling with the machine. The man turned and Jak fought hard not to brace to attention. It was him.

Alec Ryder looked _old_.

That was Jak's first thought. His second was that in no way, at no time, did he _ever_ want to mess with this man. The N7 on Ryder's chest was almost insignificant next to the man's sheer presence. Ryder was not visibly armed. Indeed, he held only a cup of coffee. But the man radiated competence and ability. Jak had known more than a few like that, hung out with more than a few like that when he had been with the Alliance, bad asses all. Ryder didn't look like a loud one and that frankly scared Jak. There were few things worse than the _quiet_ bad asses. People who went 'bump' in the night were not _supposed_ to be like-able, after all. That wasn't their job.

"Want some?" Ryder nodded to the coffee maker.

"No, thank you, sir." The 'Sir' came automatically to Jak's lips and he took refuge in the formality.

"I will take a cup." Kassidy said with a nod. Ryder nodded back and worked the machine again. He was good with it. In moments, he had a cup and extended it to the doc who took it. Ryder waved a hand at the pile of sweeteners and such nearby and the doc shook his head. "I need the jolt. Long night last night."

"I know the feeling." Ryder smiled a bit sadly. "I am not nineteen anymore either." Jak felt his eyes widen and Ryder shook his head. "It happens to us all no matter our wishes." He shook his head. "I understand why the doc is here and frankly? I applaud it. You have been through hell, Lieutenant and you are still going through it. I bet you have a million questions, Lieutenant. I have only one for you. If you had a chance to go forward, to find a new way to live. Would you take it?'

"Sir?" Jak asked carefully. "I do not understand."

"I am putting together a team for a long term expedition." Ryder replied. "Your name came up on our list of potential pilots." Jak stiffened and he could see Kassidy stiffen as well.

"Is that a joke, sir?" Jak fought hard to keep his voice level.

"No." Ryder did not react to Jak's sudden tension. Indeed, he took a sip of his coffee.

"Unless you are completely blind, _sir_." This time, the 'sir' came out bitterly. Jak fought hard to step on his temper and succeeded. Mostly. "This is as psychiatric hospital. Are you trying to get admitted too?" He was not expecting Ryder to _laugh_. Jak stared at the older man. "Sir?"

"Son, I have been called insane more times than I can possibly remember." Ryder was smiling a bit wistfully. "My first drill instructor said I would get my ass handed to me, because my head was in the clouds so much." He shook his head. "Now, I am not saying it would easy, or it would even work, but there is a possibility. Would you take it?"

"What kind of possibility?" That wasn't Jak's voice, was it? There was no way he could be so calm, not after so long as this half crippled thing that remembered being a pilot and soldier. Then he jerked. He hadn't spoken. Kassidy had. Jak was so fuddled that he hadn't even realized he hadn't been the one speaking.

"It is experimental and involves a brain implant." Ryder said with a small frown. "I will not sugar coat it. There is an element of risk involved. It is also proprietary, so the ones who hold the technology do not want to let it out until they can be sure no one will steal it."

"If they can help people like Lieutenant Collains..." Kassidy breathed and then paused. "Oh no… No." He paled. "You cannot even _think_ that!"

"Doc." Ryder raised a hand. "I am just a soldier. I don't understand all of the medical jargon." He scoffed. "Hell, I don't understand _half_ of it.

"Doc?" Jak asked slowly and carefully. Kassidy for his part was glaring at Ryder who seemed unfazed. "Doc? What is the problem?"

"The problem is that the damage to your brain was caused by an implant." Kassidy did not -quite- snarl that.

"Yeah." Jak said a bit dubiously. "The slaver implant hit my piloting one when it was put in and both shorted. I remember that." He shivered. "Too vividly actually."

"There have been experiments with VI implants." Kassidy said with a scowl worthy of a krogan. "President Huerta was only the highest profile of those." Jak looked at him and Kassidy made a face. "You didn't hear?" Jak shook his head and the doc sighed. "Christopher Huerta was diagnosed with a terminal disease. It was..." He paused and shook his head. "In layman's terms, it made his body shut down." Jak nodded in understanding.

"So the VI was running his body." Jak mused. Ryder and Kassidy both nodded. Ryder looked calm, Kassidy angry. "And that is what you would want for me?"

"No." Ryder replied, taking another sip. "But I cannot say what it is until and unless you sign a Non Disclosure Agreement. There is far too much at stake right now."

"You were kicked out of the Alliance for AI research." Kassidy said suddenly. Jak stared from him to Ryder and back. "I remember that although the specifics were vague."

"People drew the wrong conclusions and got upset." Ryder took another sip. "Nothing new there."

"You want to stick an AI in my head?" Jak demanded.

"No." Ryder replied. "The AI that I designed wouldn't have worked for you. However, there have been advances in support implants for people with PTSD and other such illnesses. The group I am involved with has accelerated research into such things."

"That is illegal." Kassidy said softly.

"Not where we are going." Ryder retorted. "Here? Yes. But they won't be used here, so it isn't technically illegal. Believe me, when they brought me onboard, they looked into the law of such things, as murky as it is. It is legal and if we can help the Lieutenant here? All the better."

"You cannot help me." Jak said flatly, turning for the door.

"As long as you believe that, Lieutenant, it will be true." Ryder said as Jak left the room. "I will leave my contact information if you change your mind."

"Fat chance of _that_..."


	3. Chapter 3

**Songs**

Jak was still fuming as he stalked back towards the common areas. Kassidy followed him, the doc silent. A fact for which Jak was grateful. He had no idea what to say.

The idea of being healed, of being able to _fly_ again, had hit him hard. Ryder had to have known how hard that would hit him, had probably counted on that swaying him despite everything. If he had been alone, Jak probably would have jumped at the chance without thinking.

But an _AI._

Even now, Jak shuddered. It hadn't been that long ago since the attack on Eden Prime. Geth were not AIs according to a few of the pundits that Jak had seen on the extranet but the distinction was essentially moot. They were inorganic intelligences. The sheer carnage they had wrought on Eden Prime and then later at the Citadel had been horrific in the extreme. If not for Shepard…

Jak shook his head slowly. He wasn't Alliance anymore. Not really. They hadn't kicked him out yet, but he knew it was only a matter of time before medical retirement caught up with him. He had played the system against itself for years, fighting to stay in uniform even as the bureaucrats had fought hard to tear it off him. Some of them, like Kassidy, did mean well. Others… Well…

"I need to report this." Kassidy's soft voice pulled Jak out of his near trance. He looked at the doc who looked worried. "You okay?" Jak didn't have the chance to speak before the doc snarled at himself. "No, of course you are not okay. That slimy little shit pushed all of your buttons."

The honest outrage in Kassidy's voice touched Jak in a deep, fundamental way. He hadn't had many people who had believed in him, not for years. Jak gave himself a stern shake and shook his head.

"Doc, he never said what it was he was doing." Jak said slowly. "He asked me if I wanted to get better and he knew the answer was 'Yes'. He never said he was working with AI."

"He never _denied_ it either." Kassidy retorted.

"We didn't give him time." Jak managed a smile at Kassidy's expression. He looked away, at the walls of the facility that were adorned with art from previous patients, some of which was pretty good. "I would give almost anything to fly again." He said in a very small voice.

"And if you give up _yourself_?" Kassidy asked.

Whatever Jak was going to reply was cut off as a small mass threw itself against his legs and hugged them tight. He stared down at Lara's face as she stared up at him, eyes wide.

"Lara..." Jak groaned halfheartedly. He stiffened as she shook her head violently. "Lara? What?" She shook her head again and again, hugging his legs tighter. "Doc?"

"Lara? Is something wrong?" Kassidy asked, eyes on the girl who nodded. "With you?" She shook her head. "With Jak?" She made a face but then shook her head again. "But something is."

The girl nodded almost savagely, her face scrunched up as she tried her darnedest to speak and could not. Jak reached down and gently stroked her hair.

"Lara, calm down." Jak said quietly. "Calm. Calm." He wasn't a psychologist himself, but dealing with Lara's fixation had been an eyeopener. It had really stressed him out at first, but it wasn't bad, per say. She needed him and that made him feel good. The docs did what they could to help and their best was pretty good at times. "You cannot say what is bothering you. Can you write it?"

Lara stared at him and then her face went slack in surprise and consternation. She patted her pockets before finding a small tablet that the doc shad given her. No one would allow pencils and paper in this place, too much chance for patients to hurt themselves or others. She swiped it on and wrote quickly.

'Please don't leave!' She wrote and underlined. She showed the tablet to Jak who stared at her and then at the doc who stared back.

"Lara." Jak said softly. "What makes you think I am leaving?"

'You want to.' Lara wrote, her face squnched up with fear. 'You are not happy. We try. The docs try, but you are not happy.' She hugged him again, tight enough to hurt. 'Can you hear the songs? Please! If you hear the songs it will all be better.'

"Songs?" Kassidy shook his head. "Lara… Honey, what are you talking about?"

Lara looked at the doc and then at Jak, her face a mix of fear, worry and confusion.

'It is my fault.' Lara wrote. 'You cannot hear the songs and it is my fault.' She was crying now.

"Hey." Jak stroked her heir again. "Lara, what happened to me wasn't your fault. I didn't know you before coming here."

'I can hear the songs. They are calling. Begging you to hear them. To let them help. They ask me to help, but you cannot hear them.' Lara hugged Jak tight again. Her could feel her heart beating faster and faster as tightly as she clung. He looked at the doc who frowned. 'I want to help and I do not know how.'

She was shaking now in her worry, fear and exhaustion. She wasn't healed from her ordeals, not even close. Jak looked at Kassidy who sighed softly before pulling a small device out of his pocket. Lara jerked as the doc approached, her hand flying over her tablet.

'No!' Lara pleaded in her writing. 'You must hear the songs! Protect-...'

Her hand went slack as the doc pressed the device to her arm and it went hiss. She slumped, almost instantly unconscious. Jak caught her and lifted her easily, catching her tablet and shutting it off with one hand. She was so light still, not skin and bones anymore, but still very underweight.

"I don't get it." Jak said weakly. "She acts like she knows me, but I don't know her."

"You know better than most that the mind can be a very tricky thing." Kassidy said with a frown as he checked Lara's vitals. "She might not know _you_ , but maybe she knew a soldier or someone who looked like you." Jak thought about that for a moment and then shook his head.

"The first time she saw me, we hadn't been introduced, but she wrote my name. My full name."

That had been a shock. Jak had been a patient in this place for a while, had been slowly recovering his equilibrium when Lara had arrived. Had it only been a month ago? It seemed like longer. She had such a tiny thing, all pain, fear and confusion, but then she had seen Jak and her face had lit up. It had taken her a week to get strong enough to move under her own power, but as soon as she could, she had sought Jak out. He… hadn't handled it very well at first. He had tried pushing her away. She had retreated, but then come back. Every time he turned around, he had seen her face. In classes, in physical therapy, at meals. The only time her was free from her was in the dorm and even then, she had managed to get in _there_ this morning.

"I want to say 'lucky guess?' but that doesn't make much sense does it?" Kassidy said as he finished up and then, in a tender motion, brushed Lara's short hair out of her face. "And 'songs'? _That_ is new."

"No idea, doc." Jak frowned. "I was never a music person. Ever."

"Well, she needs a lot more rest to recover. Let's get her into one of the private rooms and I will let Janice know she needs a minder."

Kassidy led the way to a nearby door. Inside, the room was nearly bare, intentionally. Two comfortable chairs were the only furniture and the walls were painted calming colors. The staff used such rooms for meeting one on one with patients. The chairs were comfortable to sleep in and Jak had to smile as Kassidy went to one of them, opened up a storage locker built into the bottom and pulled out a small blanket. Jak laid the slumbering girl down and Kassidy covered her with the blanket.

"She is a good kid." Jak said as Kassidy keyed his omni-tool, letting the nurses know where Lara was. "I just wish I knew why she fixated on me." Something warned him and he spun to the door. Cross stood there, leering at the trio. "Cross..." Jak warned.

"Hanky panky from the squeaky clean soldier boy?" The other patient said with a lilt. "I am shocked, shocked!"

"Well, _I_ am shocked you have even _heard_ of Casablanca." Jak retorted. Cross stared at him in confusion, thrust out of his moment and Jak smiled. It was not a nice smile. "Not that you would know empathy if it bit you."

"He accosted Lara this morning, didn't her?" Kassidy asked. Jak nodded, not taking his eyes off the weasel in front of him.

"She wasn't supposed to be in the dorm." Jak said with a grunt. "But yes. Janice said she snuck in during the confusion of Ryder's visit." He stiffened as Cross did.

"Ryder?" Cross demanded. "What Ryder? Here? Alec Ryder?" Whatever he saw in Jak's face made him pale. "What is _he_ doing is here?"

"Go away, Cross." Jak said flatly. "Not your business."

"Ryder is a traitor and a menace." Cross said with a grunt. "He was trying to make an AI to destroy us all." He started to turn, only to be caught by two sets of arms. "Hey! Leggo!" He demanded as two orderlies came into view, neither of whom were impressed at all by his struggles.

"Mr. Cross needs some time out time." Kassidy's words were quiet, but an order. Cross struggled harder, but with two of them the orderlies could have managed _Jak_ , let alone a weasel of a guy who probably hadn't done a push up in his life. "A few hours of quiet will do him good."

"You cannot do this-!" Cross started to snarl, only to break off as hand snaked around the orderlies and popped a big red ball into his mouth. Before he could recover and try to spit it out, the hand and strapped it in place and he wasn't going to remove it. Janice's smiling face appeared behind the orderlies and Jak smiled back at her even as Cross struggled in the grip of the two beefy men holding him.

"Just did, Mr Cross." Janice replied as she patted his arm while walking into the room. "Time Out Room Three is clean now, guys. We got the mess up. Get him in and situated. I will be by to check on him after I check on Lara."

Jak winced at that. He had spent time in time out himself, although not recently. Padded rooms were cliché for psychiatric facilities, but also very functional for such situations. Being strapped into a straitjacket, gagged and then left in a padded room was not pleasant at _all_ , even with the mild sedative that the docs usually prescribed. He shook his head slowly as the orderlies dragged Cross away.

"There but for the grace of god, go I." Jak said softly as Janice stepped to scrutinize Lara's sleeping form. Both the doc and the nurse looked at him and he flushed. "I wonder sometimes, just how sane I will ever be. If that..." He nodded to the door where Cross had been. "...is my future."

"Lieutenant,..." Janice checked Lara's vitals with the skill of long practice and then started scanning with her omni-tool. "You are so much better than Mr. Cross, he might as well not even be in the same solar system. You didn't let the horrors that you endured break you. You are who you are and even the slavers could not destroy that no matter how hard they tried. What happened?"

"Her vitals spiked to dangerous levels." Kassidy said with a wince. "I gave her two milligrams. She likes the tablet."

"Good." Janice had been the one to suggest that if the girl wouldn't talk that maybe she would write. The directors had balked at the expense of such a thing that might be broken any time by a recalcitrant patient but one day, a tablet had simply appeared for the girl. Jak wasn't sure if it was legit or not, but Lara loved it and any doubts as to her intelligence had faded as soon as she had started writing. She was apparently fluent in three languages, English, French and _Asari_ of all things.

"Has she written anything about where she came from or why she thinks she knows me?" Jak asked a bit plaintively. "She is so sure she knows me, but I don't know her."

"I have asked." Janice made a face as she eased Lara's slumbering from into what would be a more comfortable sleeping position. "She doesn't talk about her past, but she does talk about you." She smiled at Jak who suddenly wanted to be anywhere else. "The docs are not sure, but I am. She _does_ know you from somewhere."

Both Kassidy and Jak stiffened at that. The two men eyed each other but then Jak slowly relaxed for the first time since seeing Cross. He wasn't _about_ to question the head nurse's experience in dealing with patients any more than he would question a twenty year Alliance NCO's ability to do his or her assigned job. Experience was something that taught lessons. Kassidy looked about to say something, but his tool beeped and he scowled as he looked at it. He shook his head and was out the door before either of the others could blink.

"Speedy Gonzales..." Janice mused, only to pause as Jak laughed. She looked at him and he made a silly face.

"The _fastest_ doctor in _all_ of _hospital_!" The soldier said in a silly voice. Janice's eyes went huge and he smirked. "I um… I had a buddy who liked ancient cartoons."

"Seriously?" Janice's smile was wide now. "My sister loved those silly things. My dad had a huge collection and we must have watched them all a dozen times each. Which was your favorite?"

"You will laugh." Jak shook his head, but his smile was growing too.

"I might." Janice agreed as she tweaked the blanket over Lara and then sat down in the chair across from her. Jak looked at her and Janice scowled slightly. "All other staff is busy. I have time."

"You are the boss." Jak said weakly. "Is it really that bad?"

"Carl turned an ankle on his run yesterday and Sina just put in for maternity leave." Janice shrugged.

"Sina?" Jak thought about the bright and cheerful floor nurse who worked in the female dorm most of the time. "I hadn't heard she was engaged." He went still as Janice's eyes went hard. "Oh no. No. Don't tell me..." He groaned.

"Yeah." Janice shook her head. "Guy ran off as soon as she told him. No one has heard a thing about him since. She is a bit of a mess."

"That isn't right." Jak said flatly. "Guys like that give all of us men a bad name."

"She hasn't decided to keep it." Janice said sadly. "It is her decision, and her family will understand whatever she chooses. They are good people."

"That good." Jak felt a heavy weight descend on him. Memory of his lost teammates crashed in. "The groups your form, the bonds... They make all the difference. I..." He shook his head as despair reared its ugly head. He beat it back with the practice that the docs had given him. "Wiley."

"Hmm?" Janice asked, eyeing him. He smiled at her and she relaxed. He had dark moods, but he had never, _ever_ , raised a hand to the staff here even at his worst.

"My favorite character." Jak said with a smile that became a grin as Janice goggled at him and then nodded as understanding dawned. "Wile E. Coyote might have been the villain of those cartoons, but he _never_ gave up trying. He fell, got up, dusted himself off, and tried again. Lots to admire there."

" _And_ the Roadrunner was a jerk." Janice agreed.

"Most of the heroes of those old cartoons were not people to like." Jak shrugged. "I mean, Bugs _defined_ the word 'jerk' to his friends and enemies alike. Yes, he was the hero and you wanted him to win out against the bad guy, whoever it was, but still. He was mouthy, sarcastic and just flat out evil to anyone he wanted."

"Most of the cartoon characters of that time were not much better." Janice held. "There was so much political and social upheaval in the twentieth century and a lot of it showed up in the cartoons, even the supposedly non political ones." She shook her head. "Wile E Coyote. _That_ is one I hadn't thought of in awhile. Who was your buddy?"

"Her name was Wilma." Jak said softly. "She was a tech. Our team tech and she… I..." Jak shook his head. "I can't talk about it."

"Classified or painful?" Janice asked, her tone neutral.

"Both." Jak sighed. "And that sucks the worst. The only one I can talk to about those is Doctor Hernandez and _he_ gives me the creeps."

"Glad it is not just me." Janice's voice was very soft Jak looked at her and she shook her head. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Jak blew out a deep breath and forced himself to relax. "Thing is, Lara wrote something very odd. She was upset about songs."

" _Songs_?" Janice asked, eyeing the slumbering girl.

"Yeah, weird huh?" Jak slumped a bit and started for the door. "I have to go. My own therapy is in thirty minutes." He winced. "Doctor Hernandez is hard enough handle when I am on time."

"No matter how much he deserves it, please do not throttle him." Janice asked with a smile. "It makes such a mess."

"No promises!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Investigating**

Jak hated this feeling. More than anything else in his life, he detested feeling out of control. The slavers had taken control from him, control of his body. This was worse.

Doctor Hernandez wasn't happy just restraining Jak's body with straps to the couch Jak was occupying. No. He was trying to take control of Jak's _mind_.

"Once more, Lieutenant Collains." The doctor's tone never altered, not once displaying nay emotions whatsoever. If Jak didn't know better, he would think the doc a robot or something. "What are your feelings about your mother?"

"Once more, Doctor Hernandez." Jak refused to let the doc get him riled up, it always seemed to make the man...well, not excited, the man didn't _do_ excited. It made him far more energetic when Jak lost his temper in the sessions, almost as if he was trying for just that. "I never knew my mother. I have no feelings for her either way. Positive or negative. This Freudian stuff is not going to work on me because of that."

"You are an amateur playing with things you do not understand." The doctor wasn't fazed at all. "We will get past this and see what the truth is eventually." Jak couldn't help it he laughed. "Something funny, Lieutenant Collains?"

"Hilarious, doc." Jak couldn't stop chuckling. "An Alliance spook talking to me about 'truth'." He just kept chuckling. "Do you even know what truth is? Do you _care_?" He fought hard to keep his tone civil. Getting angry with the doc never helped things.

No matter how much the man deserved it.

"Derogatory terms will not distract from the facts." Doctor Hernandez said with a shrug.

" _What_ facts?" Jak asked slowly. "You have sat there every day for the last month and asked about my parents. I never _knew_ my parents." He shook his head as far as the restraints would let him, which wasn't far. "Is this how you derive your satisfaction? By torturing people?"

"This is not torture." For the very first time since Jak had seen him, Doctor Hernandez looked a bit put out.

"No?" Jak asked, looking down at his restrained body. The lack of clothing did not bother him, and the doc had always insisted, saying that his scans were thrown off by clothing. "Then this is a standard practice for psychologists. Funny. I haven't seen these methods _anywhere_ else. With any _one_ else." He reached for the safety pull that was supposed to released the straps. He had flatly refused to be restrained until such was installed, but when he pulled it, nothing happened. "Figured. Who do you really work for, doc?"

"This is not about me, this is about you, Lieutenant." Doctor Hernandez was still so maddeningly calm. "We will talk about your mother."

"Will we?" Jak looked at the doc and then smiled a little. "Is that so? Well, let's see how your fancy scanners handle _this._ " Jak took a deep breath and started to sing. His voice was bad. He knew that. He had spent too long screaming and too long hurting for his voice to be even remotely musical. He didn't need to be.

'Weigh hey and up she rises, weigh hey and up she rises, weigh hey and up she rises, early in the morning! What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor, _Early_ in the morning? Weigh hey and up she rises, weigh hey and up she rises, weigh hey and up she rises, early in the morning!'

Jak watched through slitted eyes as the doctor's eyes narrowed and his heart jumped. The man hated that song. It had taken the soldier three sessions to realize that the music messed up the brain scanners that the doc always attached to Jak's scalp after he was restrained.

"Lieutenant, stop that." The doctor said calmly. Jak ignored him.

'Chuck him in the long boat 'til he's sober. Chuck him in the long boat 'til he's sober. Chuck him in the long boat 'til he's sober. Early in the _morning_.' Jak smiled as the doctor's face finally took on an expression of distaste. He had finally cracked the man's iron control!

'Lieutenant." Doctor Hernandez said with a shake of his head. "That is not helping."

"It is helping _me_." Jak retorted and continued to sing. He knew he was off key, he didn't care. 'Shave his belly with a rusty razor. Shave his belly with a rusty razor. Shave his belly with a rusty razor. Early in the _morning_!'

"You do realize I am your last chance to stay in the Alliance, don't you?" Doctor Hernandez calmed himself visibly. Jak stopped singing and eyed the man.

" _What_ chance?" Jak demanded. "You made your opinion quite clear, doc. So did the last review board. What was it they said and you quoted when you arrived?" He thought for a moment. "Ah. Yes. Alliance soldiers are expected to serve. To be fit for service at all times. The fact that I refuse to take the pittance you bastards allow and discretely vanish to be forgotten gets you all upset. You want me _gone_ , I get that. I embarrass your dumb asses."

"You were an exemplary soldier, Lieutenant." Doctor Hernandez said with a small shake of his head. "But that is over. Now? You are a drain on Alliance resources."

"So, what?" Jak demanded. "Going to slip me a Mickey now? Dose me with something to give me a heart attack? That is what you Intelligence types do, is it not?"

"You are going to resign." Doctor Hernandez said calmly. "And you are going to do it now."

"Really?" Jak asked, calming.

"Lieutenant, the Alliance has been more than patient, more than fair." Hernandez didn't move at all.

"Right." Jak shook his head slightly. "Fuck you. You do this and all hell will break loose. Do you really want it publicized that you are tossing out a bona-fide hero because you are tired of him?"

"That is not my call." Doctor Hernandez said with a shrug. "My report is going out today. You won't see me again."

"Good!" Jak snarled. "Then let me out of this torture get-up!"

"I have recommended that the funding for this hospital be cut." Hernandez said with a nod as Jak froze. "It serves no useful purpose."

"You son of a bitch..." Jak inhaled. "You would cut off all of these people from _any_ support at all just to screw _me_?"

"Contrary to your popular belief, this is not just about you. The rejects and cast offs here serve no purpose." Hernandez said flatly. "This place is a drain and that is what I have reported. It needs to go. You will serve, but not the Alliance. You will sleep and when you wake, Cerberus will have a place for you." He went still as Jak strained in his bonds. "Tearing things up, even hurting me will change nothing."

"Oh, _I_ am not going to hurt you." The doc went still as Jak looked at the ceiling. His voice suddenly went cold and hard. "Is that enough?"

"Yeah."

The doctor froze as the door opened and two forms in Alliance uniform walked in. Well, one walked. The other _stalked_ in. That one was in armor and held an Avenger rifle in a professional grip. But it was the man with the long scar down his face that caught and held both men's attention.

Admiral Steven Hackett was _not_ a happy man.

"Doctor Michael Hernandez..." Hackett said slowly as the man with the rifle took aim at the doctor who blanched. "This is an _interesting_ interpretation of your orders from Alliance HQ. Then again, taking _our_ orders was never your thing, was it? Not since Banes."

Hernandez rose from his chair and opened his mouth, maybe to protest, maybe to spout something. The man with the rifle was having none of it. He slammed the stock of his rifle into the doctor, tossing him to the floor. The doctor was probably not even aware as the soldier bound him and started searching him quickly. Hackett sighed and bent to release Jak's bonds.

"You okay, Lieutenant Collains?" Hackett asked as Jak sat up, massaging his wrists where the straps had cut in.

"Sir, with all due respect… I do _not_ want to do that again." Jak said slowly as he tore the sensor studded head covering off and tossed it aside with a grimace. "Do you have any idea what the hell all that was about my mother?"

"I am not a shrink." Hackett replied, but then shook his head. "Best guess? He was mapping your brain using well known input, trying to figure out how the damage occurred. The Illusive Man's evil knows no bounds at times and we have seen him and his using such slaver implants as were put in you. They likely wanted to know why it had malfunctioned."

"Didn't the Alliance figure that out? It hit my pilot implant. Why not just steal my medical records?" Jak eyed the fallen doc who moaned. He had precious little pity for a Cerberus agent though. "That is more Cerberus' thing from what I understand."

"They are getting bolder." Hackett sighed. "Which is not a good thing. The Illusive Man has always been about control. If Cerberus could figure out how to do what was done to you to any Alliance soldier, think of the damage they could cause." Jak shivered and nodded. Hackett looked at him and smiled a little. "You would stand there all day starkers, wouldn't you? Get dressed, Lieutenant."

"Sir." Jak bent down to pick up his folded robe and undergarments. He started putting them on. "Was he right, sir? Is the Alliance going to cut me loose? This place?"

"There has been pressure to close the hospital. But this is the main Veterans Affairs psychiatric facility." Hackett blew out a deep breath and shook his head. "Such pressure goes nowhere when it gets to Parliament. No matter what some may say, there are those who know about the sacrifices made in the name of the Alliance. Who remember. This place does help people. You _are_ better."

"I am never going to fly again, sir." Jak sat heavily on the couch he had recently been restrained to and slumped.

"About that..." Hackett nodded to the armored man who nodded back. He grabbed the semi-conscious doctor and stalked out of the room. Only when the door hissed shut did Hackett speak again. "I know you talked to Ryder. I know you turned him down."

"Sir, he wasn't clear about what he wanted to do." Jak protested.

"Did you let him explain, Lieutenant?" Humor peeked through Hackett's stern visage.

"Ah, no sir." Jak admitted. "The doc with me spoke of AIs and that freaked me out."

"With reason after Eden Prime and the Citadel." Hackett agreed. "Thing is, the civilian sector does have access to things the military does not."

"You don't _say_ , Sir." Collains wasn't normally one to joke with a senior admiral, but he knew Hackett better than many. He had actually been the man's personal pilot for a while before Jak had gone to into Special Forces. After Jak's misadventures, ordeal and rescue, the two had remained in touch. After Doctor Hernandez' unorthodox techniques had raised Jak's hackles, he had sent discrete messages to Hackett who had promised to investigate. Which brought them to today.

"None of that lip, Lieutenant." Hackett said repressively, but then both chuckled and Jak relaxed. "Cerberus won't stop, Lieutenant. You have piqued their interest and that is not a good thing."

"I don't want civilians caught in the crossfire, sir." Jak said slowly. "Should I leave?"

"Lieutenant..." Hackett sighed deeply and sat beside him. "I checked your records when I arrived and we were waiting for the doc to get in. You are a lot better."

"Still have nightmares, sir." Jak said slowly. "Probably will for the rest of my life."

"Yeah. They suck." Hackett slumped a bit. "Point is, the Alliance is leery about you because you are missing time. That is probably the other reason that Cerberus was interested."

"Yes, sir."

It was not common knowledge that Jak had not been found immediately after his ordeals. He and a number of other slaves had been found by an Alliance cruiser during a routine patrol. The slaver ship they had been found on had been a complete wreck except for one deck that -coincidentally- had maintained enough power for life support. The marine boarding party had been more than a little surprised to find almost a hundred former slaves cooped up in what amounted to a cargo container. What was even odder? _Jak_ had been in the worst shape of all of them and none of them knew what had happened to the slavers. There hadn't been any sign of the crew. Only a few spots where gunfire had torn up fragile ship systems and _those_ had been few and far between.

The Alliance did not like mysteries and Jak had spent years with people trying to help him remember what had happened. Jak's memories had been expertly sifted by Alliance shrinks for years afterwards and he simply did not remember what happened after he rammed his Mantis Gunship into one of the main support struts of a slaver transport as it tried to escape with its load of cargo. The impact had shorn off a critical component and had prevented the transport's escape. Jak had been captured by the angry slavers and his torments had been enough to drive more than one Alliance shrink to drink.

"Ryder's compatriots are very closemouthed about their plans, but I can tell you this." Hackett offered. "The expedition they are planning is not for anywhere in _this_ galaxy." Jak's head shot up and he knew his eyes were huge as he stared at Hackett who nodded.

"Another… _galaxy_?" Jak breathed. He wasn't sure if he was intrigued or horrified. Maybe both.

"I know more than most, but I can't talk about it." Hackett said quietly. Jak nodded. As an admiral, the man was bound very tightly by secrets and the need to keep them secret. "Thing is, if they can help you, Lieutenant… Jak..." He laid a hand on Jak's arm. "You are not going to get any better, Jak. Not with any conventional treatment. The docs here and elsewhere have done everything they can."

"I know, sir." Jak hung his head. "They are talking about bringing in another asari, but the last one… She screamed, sir." Jak said weakly. "I hurt her."

"No, you didn't." Hackett corrected Jak grimly. "I read her report. She wasn't ready for it. She was only an intern for god's sake. But she was willing to try. She _did_ help. She was clear on what she did and how, but her terminology didn't make a lot of sense to us. Still doesn't."

"Yes." Jak admitted." Yes, sir, she did help. It was...weird. So very weird and there really are not any words to describe it no matter what Intel and the docs wanted."

"They are never satisfied no matter what." Hackett stood up and nodded to Jak. "There is one other thing."

"Sir?" Jak rose and braced to the best semblance of attention he could while not in uniform.

"The colony built a memorial." Hackett said quietly, but Jak still recoiled. The admiral nodded. "They want you to be at the dedication."

"Sir..." Jak wilted a bit. "I..."

"You know your team would want you to get on with your life, such as it is." Hackett said with a nod. "I could order you to go, but you would probably resign in a fit of temper and ruin all the hard work you have put in to keep your uniform and rank." Jak looked at him and the admiral scoffed. "Tell me I lie."

"You don't, sir." Jak admitted. "I… I will think about it. One thing on my end. There is a girl here who has fixated on me, sir. She says she knows me, but I don't know her. Maybe in the time I am missing." Hackett nodded. "Has the Alliance looked?"

"We have looked." The admiral shook his head. "No record of this Lara or her DNA exists anywhere the Alliance can find. Intel debriefed her as best they could. She wouldn't communicate with them."

"Do you want me to ask, sir?" Jak wasn't entirely comfortable with such a thing, but if the admiral asked, he would do it. He owed the man a great deal. "She communicates with me. Somewhat."

"Intel would appreciate it." Hackett made a face that Jak shared. Both had a limited appreciation for Alliance Intelligence. "I don't know what to tell you. About Ryder or her. There are possibilities outside the Alliance, Lieutenant Collains. Whether they will pan out or not? I don't know."

"Would you trust Ryder, sir?" Jak asked after a moment.

"With my life." Hackett replied instantly. "The man has no quit in him. Mind you, he has the social graces of a drunk grizzly bear." The admiral qualified. "But if he sets his sights on something? Get out of his way."

"Would he lie?" Jak asked.

"Not without a damn good reason." Hackett's instant rejoinder made Jak relax. "We all have limits, Lieutenant and Ryder was pushed past his. The Alliance had no choice but to cast him out when he refused to stop his work, but..." The older man shook his head. "I can't say _what_ he was doing. But I can say _why_. He was trying to save his wife's life."

"Holy shit." Jak felt a surge of emotion rush through him. "He failed?"

"Yeah." Hackett gave himself shake and smoothed his uniform almost unconsciously. "But when an N7 -even a former one- starts on an impossible task..."

"People tend to get _out_ of his way if they have _any_ sense at _all_."


	5. Chapter 5

**Good and bad**

This was totally different from the last time Jak had sat down on a couch.

For one thing, he wasn't restrained on the couch. For another, he wore jeans and a t-shirt. For yet another? He wasn't _alone_ on it.

"How do you feel now?" The gentle voice of his therapist sounded form nearby and Jak sighed deeply as her fingers bit deep into his back muscles. Oddly, there was nothing sensual about the massage, just fingers easing pain and soreness away.

"Still worried, but very relaxed." Jak said softly as she continued her massage. "That is amazing."

"It was the least I could do, Mr. Collains." She replied and then her hands stopped. "Are you ready to try now?"

"I am still afraid, but you have been..." Jak trailed off, not sure what to say.

When the asari had arrived at the hospital that morning, Jak had flatly refused to let her work. The last time Jak had dealt with an asari, she had screamed when she had done whatever it was what she had done. He didn't remember much about it, he had been a mess at the time. Asari didn't frighten him, not really. But to humans, the unknown had always been something to fear.

Asari by their very nature defined 'alien' to humans because they _were_. They had two arms, two legs and a head like most of the known species in the Milky Way, but the fact that they looked more than a bit like human females made their differences even more jarring. The blue skin and tentacle like head coverings made had always mad Jak a little nervous. Some of his team had dealt with asari in various positions, some legitimate, some not and had always been clear that they were no more 'alien' than some humans were at times. They had thoughts, feelings and dream just like humans. Many of them were flawed, just like humans. He wasn't sure if he envied or pitied the fact that asari could live up to a thousand years. He wasn't sure he could handle such a thing himself, but then again, he wouldn't have to, would he?

This was only the second asari that Jak had dealt with closely and he still believed he had hurt the first one no matter what anyone said.

"You have nothing to fear from me." The asari had introduced herself as Illia, no last name. She rubbed his back again, a whisper soft touch on his t-shirt clad form. "Nothing at all. Your fear is understandable after what happened with Shayleena, but do not let it cloud you. You believe you hurt her, and in a way, you did." Jak tensed a little, but her fingers bit deep and he relaxed, almost against his will.

"Everyone says I didn't." Jak hadn't meant to whine that, but it came out that way. The fingers continued to probe and he hissed as they found yet another sore spot.

"It is complicated. You did and you didn't. She wasn't ready for the sheer pain you had experienced." Illia said gently. "We asari can share such things, but it helps when we are ready for them. I have read her reports. She wasn't ready. She blamed herself for causing you grief."

"What?" Jak asked through the haze of contentment that swam through him from her expert fingers.

"She came here wanting to help and she hurt you further." Illia sounded sad. "She did help, some. But she _also_ caused pain and that hurt her just as badly as it hurt you. You did not cause her harm. If anything, _she_ caused the harm to _herself_. It didn't stop her. She finished her residency and she is turning into a first class mental healer, but her experience with you has made her far more cautious about hurting her patients."

"She didn't hurt me." Jak managed to protested even as his muscles turned to putty.

"Yes, she did, Mr. Collains." Illia replied even as the fingers stopped their probing and were now easing him into a more comfortable position. "What we do is a sharing, not a taking. She shared your pain it did hurt her but you shared _hers_. It shocked you, piled on top of all the rest that you had endured. To _inflict_ what happened to you on another was a horrible thought. It hurt you."

"I didn't..." Jak broke off as tears started to fall. "I tried..."

"I know." Illia's voice was so gentle now as her arms enfolded him. "You won't do that to me. I am not Shayleena. I know what you endured and while I do not have the same level of experience, I too know what it is to endure horrors. Such things mark you indelibly and you change as a result. You will never be the one who you were before. That is not always a bad thing though." She sounded pensive for a moment. "Are you ready?"

"Yes." Jak breathed and then he gasped as something happened and the universe seemed to open up around him. He could feel…

Jak was floating on a sea of bliss as the feeling continued. He was aware, on one level of the asari's face right next to his, her eyes open wide, but pure black. Of her hands clasped tightly around his. But the feelings, the... The music in her mind. No. It wasn't just music, it was songs. So many songs. But not from any human throat.

 _Hello Jak._ Illia's voice was odd. It was not aloud, but it was clear as a bell inside Jak's mind. So gentle, so sad. But at the same time, so powerful and in control. _How are you doing now? The songs are beautiful, are they not?_

 _They are. Do I know you?_ Jak asked in a way he knew he was never going to be able to describe to anyone else. _Lara told me to listen for songs._

 **We** _have never met._ The asari said mildly. _Lara was trying so hard to find a way to help you. But she couldn't, so she came to us._ _We didn't know where you were, so we followed her here._ _We were not sure what we could do, but if you can he_ _a_ _r the songs, then you are on your way to recovery._ _We will aid you in your path. Soothing disharmony is what we are_ **for** _._

 _I_ **do** _know Lara?_ Jak said slowly. _From where?_

 _That is her story, not mine._ Illia was still so gentle, but he could feel her mind seeping through his, touching, twisting. It didn't feel bad, far from she was doing soothed jangling hurts he had no names for. _I am here to help you. No more. No less._

 _Will I remember this?_ Jak asked, still basking in the music that surrounded him. It seemed to be penetrating him, soothing his hurts and easing every bit of him. Illia laughed and he bristled a little. _Hey!_ He protested as something tickled his mind.

 _What good would it do if you_ **didn't** _remember this, hmm?_ Illia asked, her tone wicked. _You can tell anyone you want about me and the songs, but you know they won't believe you. Maybe someday, they will but right now?_

 _Right now, I am a nutcase in an asylum._ Jak said weakly. _But… the songs… I don't know these songs. What did Lara mean when she said I had to remember them?_

 _There are many songs, Jak Collains._ Illia said softly. _There are as many songs are there are singers. Just because you did not encounter_ _ **our**_ _songs doesn't mean you didn't encounter_ **any** _. But that is your path to recovery._ _Ask Lara, she truly wants to help you._

 _Why?_ Jak begged even as the music ebbed and he felt himself slowly fading. Or returning to reality.

"That is not my story to tell." Illia's voice sounded abnormally loud next to Jak's ear. "Even if it was? I don't know all of it but I know a little about _her_. She grew up in the Terminus systems, which is why no one has any record of her. Know that she _does_ believe she owes you a debt. She is a good kid who has made some very bad choices. She wants to help and she can, if you let her."

She started massaging Jak's back again and he sighed deeply.

"It was different this time." Jak said through the haze of contentment.

"I would _hope_ so." Illia snorted so dryly that Jak had to smile. "I am three times Shayleena's age and I have seen a lot of _weird_ stuff. Your pain is bad, but I know that kind of pain." She sighed just as deeply as Jak had. "Better?"

Jak thought about that for a moment. Besides the bliss of the massage, he felt...calmer. Clearer. Cleaner than he had in a long time. He could feel the music fading in his mind and just the hint of other music. Different music. It faded as he focused on it. But all in all, her felt better than he had in _years_.

"Yes." Jak turned to look at the asari and she was watching him. "Thank you."

"You are a good man who was put through anyone's definition of hell, Jak Collains." Illia patted his arm as she sat up. Her face was a bit pensive now. "We cannot erase the trauma from your mind without destroying you completely. We have done what we can and we think you will be better. But it is likely that you will have flashbacks."

"Flashbacks I can handle, Ma'am." Jak sat up as well as Illia rose to her feet. "That was… Can I talk about this? The Alliance and the docs are going to want to know what you did."

"What I did cannot be duplicated by anyone else. Not even another asari. The songs are not mine, they come from others who can sometimes work through me." Illia said quietly. "Feel free to tell them that. I am sure they will have questions. Everyone does. I just hope they have more sense than to try the rigorous methods. I got enough of that from others, thank you very much."

"Well… I can't explain what you did." Jak said with a nod. "But I do feel a lot better. Thank you."

"We eased your mental trauma." Illia took his hand in hers. "The physical hurts have healed as well as they will. I try not to pry into my patients' lives, but I felt a possibility in your mind. Nothing more." She said quickly as Jak tensed. "Your memories are yours. Not mine. I have a _very_ strict taskmistress when it comes to others' mental privacy." She grinned as Jak stared at her. "I can't say more, but believe me when I say you do _not_ want to get on her bad side. She doesn't hurt me, but by the goddess, sometimes, I wish she _would!_ "

"So you are not like regular asari?" Jak asked carefully.

"No." Illia rose and straightened her garment. "Something both terrible and wonderful happened to me. I was changed as a result. There will always be those who must know everything and I refuse to be anyone's pawn again."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Jak asked as he rose as well.

"Get better. Live well." Illia surprised him when she opened her arms. He wasn't normally a huggy type of person, but with her? He made an allowance. He stiffened as she whispered into his ear. "Ask Lara to sing."

She gave him a squeeze and was gone.

Jak stared at the door and then down at himself. He felt a lot better, less conflicted about everything. Part of that had been the massage, he knew. Which had been the reason Illia had done it in the first place. But the rest…

The door opened and Jak smiled as Lara poked her head in, her eyes worried.

"Hey Lara." Jak said as he sat back on the couch. "I am sorry I didn't believe you. You did know me." Lara's eyes went huge and she stared in the direction the asari -or whatever she was- had gone. "She um… she helped."

Lara's face lit up and Jak patted the couch beside himself. Lara all but ran to it to sit beside him, her eyes on his face. He smiled at her and she smiled back a bit hesitantly.

"Those were not the songs you were talking about, were they?" Jak asked softly. Lara shook her head. "Figured. Would have been too easy." Lara smiled at him and he tousled her hair. She batted at his hands, but it was play and both knew it. Jak sobered slightly. "Lara, you feel you owe me?" Lara nodded quickly, her face a question. "But you won't say why."

It wasn't a question, but Lara shook her head anyway. Jak looked at her and then looked away.

"Whatever Illia did, I can think clearly again. I hope it lasts. The colony where I was captured wants to put up a memorial." Jak said quietly. Lara stiffened and then her small arms surrounded him. "For Christi and the team. I… The Alliance wants me to go. I think I may need this. Some closure might help. Then they will likely retire me. Medical disability is looking more and more like my future."

Lara looked at him, her eyes shining. Then she nodded a little. She slumped, her face desolate.

"You blame yourself for what happened to me, don't you?" Jak asked. Lara would not meet his gaze. "Lara, it wasn't you. You were not one of the slavers." Lara stared at him, and then she was crying. She shook her head as she opened her mouth, but of course, no sound came out.

"Lara, Lara, easy." Jak wasn't cut out for this comforting thing. He knew more than his share about emotions now after his various stays in psychiatric facilities, but he wasn't an expert by any stretch of the imagination. She was sobbing as he held her gently. She was trying to talk and her face was getting redder and redder as she couldn't make her voice work. "Lara, calm down. Don't make me get the doc."

Lara slumped in his arms, tears falling freely.

"Lieutenant?" Janice's voice sounded form the door and Jak looked up to see the head nurse looking at him. She glanced at Lara and her expression changed to sorrow.

"I am better." Jak said slowly as Lara cried in his arms. "Whatever Illia did, it helped. Can't really define it." He held up a hand at arm's length and sighed as it started to shake. "But my motor control is still the pits. I think Lara hoped I would be miraculously cured." Lara nodded in his arms, still crying. "It wasn't going to happen that way, Lara."

"How do you feel?" Janice asked, stepping closer to where Lara was still crying into Jak's chest.

"Better. Cleaner." Jak said slowly. "Brighter if that makes any sense at all." Janice smiled and nodded. "The Alliance wants me to go back to Terra Nova. They built a memorial there and want to dedicate it."

"No one will force you to do anything, Lieutenant." Janice sat on Lara's other side and took her hands in the nurse's own.

"I have to give up the uniform." Jak said quietly. 'I am a drain on Alliance resources as I am and I can work for myself now." Lara and Janice both looked at him and he shook his head. "Maybe not flying or other such work, but I can." He snorted. "All else fails, I can write fiction."

"Hey!" Janice snickered at Lara's stunned look. "Don't scare the kid, Lieutenant. We may all know you are nuts, but there are limits to what we can medicate away." Lara stared from Jak to Janice and back, her face a study.

"I don't know what my future holds, Janice, but I know it isn't here." Jak said sadly. "I treasure the time I had here. The peace you all gave me." Lara stared at him eyes suddenly huge. "But that leaves Lara at loose ends, doesn't it?" Janice looked confused and Jak shook his had. "Miss Illia said that Lara _did_ know me. Indeed, she _followed_ me here."

"She did?" Janice looked at Lara, her eyes appraising. Lara would not meet them. "Lara? Did you really?" She asked. Lara slumped and nodded a little. "Oh dear. That explains a few things, but opens up some _serious_ cans of worms." Lara winced and Janice sighed deeply. "Lara, honey. It isn't bad. You needed the help too. Still do. We are hoping to get you to talk."

Lara wouldn't meet Janice's eyes and the younger girl was shaking her head. She looked at Jak and her eyes were pleading.

"Lara I don't know what to do." Jak admitted. "I am not a responsible sort. No sane judge would ever give me custody of you. And even if I could find one crazy enough to do that? I don't know how I will provide for myself, let alone you too."

Lara looked up at him, her eyes bleak. But then she tensed. Jak and Janice both looked at her as she suddenly went totally, completely still.

"Lara honey?" Janice asked, worried by the girl's sudden change. "What is wrong?"

Jak was stunned as Lara rose to her feet and seemed to place herself between the door and the couch where Jak and Janice both sat. The door opened, but instead of a person… a small object flew in. A flashbang grenade! He knew the type! It was Alliance issue! He had seen his team use similar ones in hostage rescue situations. Even as he turned his head and shut his eyes tight, he knew it was too late.

Jak was stunned by the grenade but managed to catch Lara as she flew backwards into his arms. That was when Janice hit him. The impact threw him to the floor. He stared up at her as she… she was wearing a gas mask! What the hell?

"Sleep tight. Everything will be okay." Janice said as something in her hand went hiss. Jak fell asleep on seeing white and orange armor bustling close.

It wasn't Alliance armor.


	6. Chapter 6

**Stolen**

Jak fought back to consciousness with a groan.

He remembered the asari, her gentle touch helping him face his past and future. He remembered Lara coming in, fear turning to wonder as he had accepted her for who and what she was. Then... His memory cut off. It felt odd. _He_ felt odd.

Jak opened his eyes and blinked rapidly in the harsh light that surrounded him. He stared around, but the small room was bare. No. It wasn't a room, it was a _cell_. The light seemed to be set into the ceiling and there was no way to get at it. The sole door had a viewing port set into it and there was no opening mechanism on the inside. Jak looked around and was not surprised to see two cameras set up in alternate corners of the cell near the ceiling. They really wanted to keep tabs on him. Whoever _they_ were. There were no markings on the walls, no insignia, no nothing. An Alliance cell would have markings on the door, on the cameras. He had seen a few during his career, from both sides. This? Nothing.

So, not Alliance, but the bed felt like it had been set up for a human. He wasn't restrained and no controlling devices were attached, so it wasn't a slaver ship with slavers putting evil things in his head but still…

Jak looked himself over and growled as he saw himself clad in a patient gown. The insignia on _it_ had been removed, but the place where it had been was clear. The bare patch was familiar and not really surprising. Jak rolled off the bed and sank to the floor, putting his legs beneath him in a ready stance. Seiza was not a comfortable stance for most people, but for anyone who had studied hand to hand, it was a ready stance. Not a subservient stance at all no matter what some might _think_.

"Good morning, Lieutenant Collains." A neutral male voice sounded from a hidden speaker. It wasn't anyone Jak knew. "Your meal will be in shortly."

"Don't bother playing nice, Cerberus." Jak said calmly. There was utter silence. "All you will do is waste your time. I won't help you."

"What do you mean?" The male voice asked. Jak plucked the front of the patient gown from his chest with a small sick smile.

"For future reference, you stupid terrorist, simply taking the insignia _off_ isn't enough when it leaves a blank spot." Jak said flatly as his fist closed on the spot where the Cerberus insignia had been. He tore a chunk of the fabric off and threw the piece to the floor. Then he spit on it. "So… going to make my death 'natural causes'?" He asked snidely. "Like Kahoku?"

Jak had served under Alliance Admiral Kahoku before Terra Nova. He hadn't know the admiral well but the man had taken time to visit when Jak had been in the hospital. Finding out that the old man had died had been a blow. But some of the situation hadn't made a great deal of sense to Jak. It had taken quite a bit of digging and more than a few favors for Jak to find out that the man's heart attack had been induced by a needle. A Cerberus needle. He had quickly been told to drop it and while he had, he hadn't forgotten it.

There was utter silence from the other and Jak simply waited. He was good at waiting. It was all he had done for almost a decade. He was not surprised at all when part of one wall shimmered and turned transparent. Two forms in civilian clothes stood behind consoles, looking at him. One was unfamiliar. The other, he knew.

"Lieutenant. We were worried about you." Janice had a smile on her face, but it fell when Jak did not react.

"Keeping an eye on me, huh?" Jak said softly. "Should have known you were too good to be true."

"Lieutenant, it isn't what you think." Janice said softly. "I will bring in your meal if you promise not to try and hurt me." Jak looked from her to the man and back, but did not speak. "Lieutenant, please." She begged. "We don't want to hurt you."

"Why not?" Jak asked snidely. "Hurting people is what Cerberus _does_."

"We are not-" Janice started, only to break off as Jak shouted at her.

"Don't you DARE lie to me, you stupid bitch! You can take the insignia off, but when you leave the patch spot, it is a dead giveaway." Jak snapped. "I remember the white armor! You gassed me. Did you kill everyone?" He demanded. "Kassidy? Lara?" Janice recoiled and he pressed his slim advantage. I bet you did. It is what your kind _do!_ "

"We have not killed anyone." The man was trying for a soothing tone. It hit Jak's anger and bounced, hard.

"So.. torture or experimentation?" Jak demanded, still not moving.

"This is not helping." Janice's face was pleading as she looked from Jak to the stranger with her in the other room. "Your meal will be in shortly, Lieutenant. Please, you need the nourishment. You were unconscious for nineteen hours."

The wall shimmered and became blank again. Jak looked at it for a moment and then shook his head. He wasn't about to help Cerberus in _any_ way. The door opened silently and Jak did not move as two forms entered the cell. Both in armor that he did not recognize. The white, black and orange armor looked odd, but functional. The Mattock rifle that one held trained on Jak also looked odd, not quite like any Mattock Jak had ever seen. The other carried a tray that he set on the floor. He nodded to the one with the rifle and both backed from the cell. The door closed just as silently as it had opened and a click heralded it locking.

Jak did not move. He did not speak. He remembered his training in escape and evasion, a brutal course designed to give Alliance soldiers a chance at surviving captivity. He hadn't had any chance to put any of those skills to use after his capture, he had been too badly hurt. Now thought?

"Lieutenant, you need to eat." Janice's quiet voice came over the intercom. "You are also dehydrated. You need the fluids."

"Collains, Jak." The kneeling soldier said quietly. "Service number AS 189743."

"Lieutenant, don't be stupid." Janice pleaded. "You are not going to win this."

"Collains, Jak." The soldier kept his voice calm through sheer force of will. "Service number AS 189743."

"Lara is fine." Janice said weakly. "She is asleep and we will keep her that way. Nobody was hurt. We faked a power outage and no one realized you were gone for three hours. They will be looking in the wrong places. We didn't hurt anyone, Lieutenant!"

"Collains, Jak." Jak replied. "Service number AS 189743."

"The Geneva Convention doesn't apply here." The man said snidely. "Eat or we will make you."

"No! Don't!" Janice said quickly but it was too late. Jak rose from his kneeling posture and kicked once. The tray went flying to hit the door. The door on the platters smeared all over it and dropped to the floor, leaving a mess. Jak ignored it as he knelt again. "Ah, Lieutenant..." Janice said weakly. She rounded on her companion. "I _warned_ you. Pushing him won't work. All it will get us is hurt. Or _him_ hurt."

"Yeah, the Geneva Convention _doesn't_ apply to terrorists." Jak said softly. "But it does make me feel better to tell you traitors to fuck off."

" _We_ are not the traitors here!" The man snapped.

"Stop!" Janice said sharply. "He is pushing you to hurt or kill him!" Just-" The intercom went dead and Jak was left alone with his thoughts as well as the mess. He focused on his thoughts, ignoring the mess. He didn't like his thoughts. First Hernandez and now Janice. Was the whole facility run by Cerberus or just heavily infiltrated? That didn't make any sense. Why would a terrorist organization be interested in a bunch of crazy people?

His thoughts took a sharp right turn. They were _not_ interested in a bunch of crazy people. Hernandez had been focused solely on Jak. Janice… That was harder. She was the head nurse. She had access to everyone. But her empathy had seemed perfectly genuine. She had been genuinely concerned with Jak, Lara and the other patients, even Cross with all of his problems. So…

The door hissed open again and this time, both armored forms held Mattock rifles.

"Move to the bunk." The voice from the one on the right was heavily distorted. Synthesized or simply to keep anyone form recognizing it?

"Make me." Jak said firmly.

"Don't be stupid, Lieutenant." Janice appeared behind them. Her hands clasped in front of her. "I just want to clean up the mess."

"But that is what Cerberus _does_." Jak snapped. "Make messes." He glared at the rifles and then at Janice.

"I..." Janice wouldn't meet his eyes. "That is neither here nor there. They need you alive. No one said anything about intact, Lieutenant. Please. Don't make them hurt you. Please." She begged. "They have my son."

Jak felt his whole world fall to pieces at that. She wasn't with them. She was a prisoner just like he was. _If_ she was telling the truth. He couldn't tell. He couldn't take the chance. He wasn't going to help Cerberus in any-

Something whistled and Jak felt an impact on his arm. He fell over. He tried to move and couldn't. He was paralyzed somehow.

"No!" Janice nearly screamed as she ran to his side. She opened his airway carefully before speaking again. "He was _listening_ , damn it!" The men with the rifles ignored her as they moved into the cell, both still aiming at Jak.

"Clean up the mess." The man's voice from before said flatly. Janice growled form where she was checking Jak's vitals and the man sighed. "He isn't hurt, simply paralyzed."

"And _paralyzing_ people doesn't hurt them at _all_." Now there was the old Janice, the one Jak had thought he had known. "You made me betray him. You made me help you. Well damn it all, if you don't _want_ my help, then give me back my son and drop us off."

"You know it doesn't work like that." The man said flatly. "The girl trusts you. We will use that. Clean up the mess. Now."

"I am sure you will." Janice snarled. She bent over Jak and plucked something out of his arm. "I am sorry, Lieutenant."

Janice shook her head as she retreated towards the door. Jak couldn't see what she was doing, but from the sounds, she was cleaning up the spilled meal. He knew those sounds well from the asylum. He couldn't even move his eyes as one of the armored forms slung his rifle and picked Jak up before depositing him somewhat gently on the bunk.

"The paralytic is short term, Lieutenant Collains but we will continue doses of it if needed." The man said quietly. "We don't want to take any chances. You are our best lead to that asari yet. We didn't know she was there until it was too late to catch her, but we will eventually." The man made an odd noise, half laugh, half sigh. "Administer the antagonist to his jaw and voice box. We want him able to talk, but not to fight. That would serve nothing."

Jak could do nothing as the armored form that was closest produced a needle. He couldn't even scream as the needle penetrated his throat. A warmth spread from it and he could move his jaw. He knew what to do. A torrent of profanity burst from his lips. Janice whistled in seeming awe from where she was as Jak continued to lay verbal abuse on the armored form, the man who had been speaking as well as Cerberus in general. He was starting to question the Illusive Man's ancestry and familiar relations when the armored form drew his rifle again. Jak's stream of profanity didn't even slow. Finally, he ran out of things to say and gasped for breath.

"Feed him. We will talk later when he has had a chance to calm down." The man said and Jak watched out of the corner of his eye as both armored forms retreated out of the cell, still aiming at him.

Janice's face came into his view as Jak continued his profanity. She was crying. Either she was the best actress he had ever met or she was a pawn. He shut his mouth with a click.

"I am sorry." Janice said weakly. "They have George."

"You know what Cerberus does to prisoners, Janice." Jak said quietly. "You of _all_ people know that."

They had both seen patients pass through the asylum who had been in Cerberus' tender care. They rarely lasted long.

"I… I do." Janice slumped. "But he is my _son!_ "

"And that is what evil counts on. So… They planned to make me believe I was an Alliance prisoner or something?" Jak asked.

"I don't know. They didn't tell me what their plans were." Janice wiped his face carefully with a damp cloth. "I warned them how you felt about Cerberus. They didn't listen. They said you wouldn't figure it out. Idiots."

"You know I cannot trust you." Jak said flatly.

"I know." Janice shook her head. "I can't trust myself right now. I mean, I don't always _like_ George, but he is my _son_ , Jak." The use of his name was jarring. She _never_ called him by name. Either this was an incredibly well planned and executed con game or she was incredibly stressed.

"So what is the plan?" Jak asked after a moment. "Why not a feeding tube? IVs?"

"You know those don't provide enough nourishment." Janice said with a scowl and Jak smiled a little. "Silly man. You know why. Those would be far easier, but you would fight the restraints. Hurt yourself. Probably badly. Even a _mild_ paralytic would hurt you. _Will_ hurt you." She corrected herself grimly.

"They don't care." Jak said with a calm he didn't really feel. "For them, the end always justifies the means. Kill a few humans to save humans that prefer heir brand of idiocy? Perfectly justified. Life means nothing to them. Human or otherwise."

"I know." Janice said weakly. "I just..."

"You were trying to help your son." Jak fought not to sigh. Whether she was telling the truth or not, he was stuck with her. So a bit of bonding might not be a bad idea. "Did you talk to him? See him?"

"I heard his voice." Janice shuddered. "He sounded bad, Jak."

" _Janice_..." Jak groaned with feeling.

"I know." Janice shook her head. "You cannot trust me. But… I need to get some fluids in you. You are dehydrated from the gas and then the paralytic. Will you drink?"

"Is it drugged?" Jak demanded.

"No." Janice said slowly but her head tilted just a little up and down. Jak's eyes narrowed. "Even if it was, it wouldn't be a full on sedative. They don't want you unconscious any more. You have slept too much as it is."

Jak stared at her and she winked. He fought to keep a smile off his face. Janice was no soldier, but she wasn't stupid either. He wished he could trust her, but he couldn't. Not here. Not now.

"Please don't fight me." Janice begged in an undertone. "I can't sacrifice George and I do not want to see you or Lara hurt."

"I cannot help them, Janice." Jak said slowly. "I cannot. Not after what they have done. Kahoku, others. They may have started as a protection for humanity, but they went off the rails and if they are not stopped, they will do far worse."

"I don't care about that." Janice put a straw to Jak's lips. "Right now, I care about George, Lara and then you. In _that_ order. I have to _try_ and keep you healthy." She mouthed something that looked like 'And fuzzy'

Jak was seriously temped to spit the water back in her face, but it soothed the parched tissues of his mouth and he found himself sucking greedily on the straw. Whatever was in the water, he couldn't taste, but the world indeed went a bit fuzzy.

He barely noticed Janice holding spoon to his lips, but when she put it in his mouth, he sucked it clean.

Then he was somewhere else.

He was lying on a cold, hard surface while energy played around his head. He couldn't move, but everything was so far way. He heard murmurs form nearby, but couldn't make any sense of them.

Then it all went away again and he came back to himself lying on a bunk that was similar if not he same as the one from before. The cell looked the same. But it wasn't the same.

A warm mass shifted beside him and he stared down at Lara's tousled head as she slept. She wasn't wearing anything but a contented smile as she snuggled closer to him in her sleep. Neither was _he,_ he realized suddenly.

"Oh, you _bastards_." Jak said softly, moving to cover the girl from the watch of the cameras.

"Don't tell me you are not enjoying the view, Lieutenant." The man from before. Jak had never wanted to wipe a smile off a man the hard way than he wanted to right that moment.

"She is a _kid_!" Jak protested. "Even for _Cerberus_ , this is _sick!_ "

"She is a functional adult. She wants it." The man said smugly. "And so do you. Now anyway." Jak stared down at himself as he…

"No." Jak growled and threw himself across the room to the furthest spot from where Lara was stirring now. "What the _hell_ did you _do_?"

"She wants you and you want her." He still didn't know the man's name but Jak knew suddenly that he would kill that man. "Your body agrees." Jak ignored the stirring in his lower body, snarling as he searched his body with desperate fingers. He found what he expected and pulled the drug patch off his leg. "Too late, Lieutenant. Let nature take its course."

Lara was awake now and staring at Jak, eyes huge as he moved to beat his head against the wall, maybe if he hit himself hard enough.… A hand grasped his and he spun to see Lara standing just behind him, her face sad.

She shook her head, opened her mouth and started to sing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Escaping reality  
**

Jak hadn't been sure what to expect when Lara opened her mouth, but _this_ certainly wasn't it.

No sound was coming out of Lara's mouth. But he could hear singing. It wasn't her voice. No. It wasn;t human! It sounded synthesized. It certainly wasn't Lara.

He jerked as the feelings that had been rising steadily through his body simply vanished. He could feel _something_ pulsing out from Lara as she squeezed his hand. It was modulated, it seemed musical. Sort of.

"Finally!" The man behind the wall crowed. "Scan her. Get every scanner we have on her! The boss wants… wants..." He trailed off as Lara spun to glare at the wall and the whatever she was doing changed.

Suddenly, the sound wasn't synthesized. It still wasn't a human girl, but this time it wasn't modulated as music. No. _This_ time it was pure auditory hell. It was raw emotion given form in sound and Jak felt pain flare through him as a scream sounded from the intercom.

"Lara..." Jak managed to croak out. Lara spun, eyes huge as he wilted. She caught him, her eyes suddenly filled with tears as the music -or whatever the hell it was- faded. She held him tight and he could hear something. He had no idea how he could hear it or even what it was. But he understood it. He didn't know how, but he did. It sounded like a scared little girl. Lara?

01101000 01100101 01101100 01110000 00100001

She said 'Help. She was calling for help. But… Who and why? That was binary. A simple language normally used for computers. But she was speaking again in that same odd way.

01001001 00100000 01101000 01110101 01110010 01110100 00100000 01101000 01101001 01101101 00100000 01100001 01100111 01100001 01101001 01101110 00100001 In the same odd way, she spoke through her sobbing. Jak understood that too. She said 'I hurt him again.'

Jak nearly collapsed as something _else_ replied. Whatever that was, it wasn't human. The sheer power of whatever was replying to her was mind blowing. Almost literally. What was worse? The numbers seemed to come from inside _him!_ Which made no sense at all.

 **01010111 01000101 00100000 01000011 01001111 01001101 01000101**

Someone or some _thing_ had just said 'We Come' and that had nearly killed Jak with the feedback.

"Lara, what the hell?" Jak managed to grate out as the agony faded along with whatever she had been doing. She shook her head quickly, pulling him towards the door. "It is locked, Lara!"

She grinned at him as she touched the door and to his amazement, it clicked open! He stumbled and she held him upright. Just outside the door, two crumpled forms lay as they had fallen. The Cerberus guards. Jak stared at the Cerberus troopers.

"Are they…?"

Jak snarled at himself and grabbed the weapon from one of them. The fingers were slack. Dead or unconscious, it made little difference at the moment. If this was anything like most Alliance bases, he had minutes at best to effect an escape. He hadn't been a skilled marksman like some of his team, but he hadn't been a slouch either. You didn't survive long in Alliance Special Forces without learning to be adaptable. Even years of being sedentary in institutions hadn't dulled his skills completely. He checked the readouts and nodded as he saw the weapon fully loaded. But it was odd. A Mattock was a semi auto weapon. _This_ weapon's selector was marked 'Safe' and 'Full'. It also showed thermal clips. The Alliance hadn't been using those when he had been active duty, but he had kept up with the recent theory that had quickly gone into widespread practice as soon as everyone realized how much better they were. Not much else to do in the institution but read at times. The Geth designed thermal devices allowed weapon overheating to be dissipated much more safely and efficiently than the old style heat sinks he was used to. A lever on the side would eject spent heat sinks. He tried it and nothing happened. He stared at the lever and then kicked himself. He hadn't _used_ any yet!

Jak started off down the hallway, his eyes roving in patterns that he had thought forgotten. The muzzle of his rifle tracked his eyes.

Neither spoke as they dashed through the silent halls. It didn't seem to be a very large… um… ship. Jak paused as he saw a display of decks. It was a small ship indeed, maybe the size of an Alliance frigate. Those didn't have huge crews, but Jak wasn't in armor and only had a few clips for his rifle. If Lara _hadn't_ disabled everyone…

As if his thoughts had caused it, an alarm started blaring. Lara pulled his hand and they ran on toward the area marked 'Shuttle Bay' on the map. Jak had no idea of he could fly a modern shuttle, but to get away from Cerberus, he would do the best he could or give them a hell of a mess to clean up. They ran through corridors, some with still forms in Cerberus uniforms, others empty but for the blaring alarms.

Sobs jerked Jak up short. He peered in an open door. Janice knelt beside a form in Cerebrus armor. She had obviously taken his helmet off. The man looked a little like Janice, but his eyes were silvery metal. She stared up at Jak, eyes hopeless.

" _What have they done to my boy_?" She screamed.

"Janice?" Jak asked as he scanned the room for more threats. None shone, but he wasn't going to trust easily, if ever again.

"I demanded to talk to him or I wouldn't help any more. They brought me here to talk to him." Janice said weakly. "He didn't. I tried. He wouldn't talk to me. Then he… He cried out and fell. I got the helmet off and… What have they _done_?"

"I don't know, Janice." Jak said softly. "But we have to go. Now."

"I can't." Janice said weakly. "I can't leave him. He is all I have left since Matt died." Jak knew Janice husband had died but he didn't know any details.

"That is not your son anymore, Janice." Jak tried again. "You know what Cerberus does! This..." He shook his head. "We have no time. Either they will wake up enough troops to take us or self destruct. Either way, we are screwed if we do not go now! We need to go."

"Go." Janice said sadly, touching the still face beside her. "Leave me… I..." She broke off as Lara opened her mouth and the not-a-sound from before came out. Janice stiffened, but then she rose to her feet, staring at Lara, wide eyed. "Lara? Wha-?"

Lara ran to Janice and hugged her tight. She looked at Jak with wide eyes. The music or whatever it was changed, from a soothing melody to a battle march.

"Of course, you are going to insist even without words." Jak said sourly. Lara smiled at him and hugged Janice again. "Fine, fine, whatever, but no more strays and if you bring home a kitten, we are going to have _words_..." Lara made an innocent face and Jak just snarled and turned to go.

"Um, what?" Janice asked and then her eyes widened further. "And where are your _clothes_?"

"Cerberus tried to get me to sleep with Lara." Jak said as he started off, Lara pulled Janice who wasn't resisting much if at all. "They did something to me. Drugged us both. She undid it. Somehow. No idea how."

"I should be freaking." Janice said weakly as Lara pulled her along. "But I am not. Are you doing this?" She asked Lara who nodded. "How?" Lara made a face and Janice groaned. "They took your tablet. I bet it is gone. We will need to find you another." Lara nodded and they continued through the ship.

Jak paused as the hallway ended at a hatch marked 'Shuttle Bay'. He shook his head.

"This was too easy." He looked at Janice, but Lara shook her head as the woman slowly closed her eyes, but let Lara continue to pull her along. "A trap? A test? What the hell are they playing at?"

Lara shook her head again and nodded to the hatch. Jak looked at her and sighed a little.

"They are almost certainly waiting for us in there, Lara." Jak said slowly. Lara nodded. "Do you happen to know how many?" He went still as she nodded again! "What? How many?" She held up her free hand and splayed five fingers twice. "Ten?" Lara nodded again and Jak groaned. "If we get out of this, we are gonna have a _very_ long talk, girl."

Lara grinned at him and then moved Janice so she was out of the way. She pointed to one side of the hatch and motioned with five fingers. She pointed to the other and showed three. She pointed back towards the door and showed two.

"Five, three and two is ten. You know exactly where they are." Jak said slowly. Lara nodded. "And you cannot disable them again or you would have." Lara shook her head. "Is there another way in?" Lara shook her head. "Joy. One rifle against ten? We won't win this."

Lara looked at him and seemed to be thinking hard. Then she nodded slowly. Jak looked at her.

"I won't surrender, Lara." Jak said sternly.

Lara shook her head and held up a hand. Her thumb closed across her palm, then her pinky. Then her ring finger. Jak stiffened as he realized she was counting down to something! He braced himself as she closed her middle finger, but when she closed her index finger, nothing seemed to happen. Until gunfire and screams sounded from just beyond the hatch. Jak stared from the hatch to Lara, but she made a 'get on with it' gesture.

Jak keyed the hatch and stepped into madness. There a been a sweet ambush set up just inside the shuttle bay. Several Cerberus troops had been augmented with LOKI Mechs and all looked to be armed with nonlethal weapons. They wanted Jak and Lara alive.

But someone has sprung the ambush before Jak and Lara had appeared. No, not some _one_. Some _things_!

"GETH!?"

Jak stopped short as a pair of Geth Pyros fired their flamers as one, catching a pair of Cerberus LOKI mechs in a literal crossfire. Two Geth troopers were firing from cover near the back of the bay, two dead Cerberus snipers at their feet. It was all Jak could do not to open fire at the machines that were slaughtering the Cerberus troops. Lara pushed past him, still pulling Janice along, heading for one of the shuttles.

"Lara?" Jak muttered as the geth _made way for her!_ Indeed, two of them were flanking her from cover, keeping the Cerberus troops form getting clear shots. Lara waved at him urgently.

"Stop them!" The call came from the hated voice of the Cerberus goon who had been hell bent on seeing Jak and Lara copulate. "Deploy it now! _Now!_ "

Everything stopped as a crate near one wall opened and a YMIR Mech shouldered its way out of it.

"Oh shit." Jak muttered as he dashed into cover. Every geth in the area was firing at the heavy Cerberus mech now. Not that it mattered. Almost all of the Cerberus troops were down or dead and none of the shots the geth were pouring onto the mech seemed to have any effect at all. Both Pyros tried, but one took a direct hit from a rocket and disintegrated. The other took a backhanded slap that only seemed gentle, sending the smaller automaton flying to hit the wall and slide down. It wasn't going to get up from that.

"Corner and capture. We need the male and female. All others are expendable." The Cerberus man commanded. Jak slid away from the mech even as the geth troopers threw grenades at it that erupted in balls of plasma. What? Since when did _geth_ use _grenades_?

Why was this so familiar? Jak felt odd. Like he knew what to do. He did not know how or why, but he knew what to do. He darted to the side, laid his rifle over the top of his cover and opened fire. He did pretty well. The rifle was insanely accurate even at full auto. He wasn't expecting much. As expected, his rifle rounds bounced off the mech's heavy plating just as the geths' rounds had. But every geth that was still mobile laid fire at the same point that Jak hit. Their accuracy was phenomenal.

It did no good.

The grenades had perhaps scorched the paint, nothing more. The rifle rounds just bounced off and the mech picked off geth after geth. Something erupted in his brain.

01000111 01101111 00100001

"No!" Jak said sharply through the pain that flared in his head, not even sure how he knew he had just been told to 'Go!'

01000111 01101111 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110111 00100001

Before Jak could respond to the command to 'Go now!', his body was in motion. He hadn't wanted to dart out of his cover, that seemed like suicide. But the mech didn't fire at him. Instead, it kept picking off the geth. Now, there were only three of them, but they kept firing at the mech and moving to deny it easy kills.

Jak slid into the shuttle and to his amazement, it started powering up.

"There is no time, Collains Pilot." A new voice sounded. A synthesized one. It seemed to come from Lara who was busy strapping Janice in as the woman mumbled. "Sit in the pilot's seat. Now."

"I haven't flown _anything_ in eight years!" Jak complained as he threw himself into the seat. He barely noticed the hatch sealing behind him and the geth outside still firing.

"You have combat flying experience that we lack, Collains Pilot. You may need it." The other said as Jak reached of the controls and they came alive without him touching a thing! Jak recoiled. "There is no time, Collains Pilot! You must fly now." Lara threw herself into the seat beside Jak and started strapping herself in with the ease of long practice as he took the controls. The controls were similar to what he had known when flying shuttles for the Alliance, if far more advanced.

"Stand down, Lieutenant Collains." The smug voice of the Cerberus scum was loud over an internal speak Jak flicked it off, not even looking at the controls. It chimed back on. "We need you and the girl alive, but there is nothing in our orders about _hale_. The doors are closed. You are going nowhere."

"Maybe not." Jak said flatly as he activated a panel marked 'Weapons'. "But pardon me for not making it easy for you." He stared as pair of thumps sounded from either side of the ship and chaos erupted ahead of the shuttle. Whatever it had for weapons was powerful. "Oh, I _like_ _**this**_ upgrade!"

He hit the weapons again and two more explosions sounded form close ahead of the shuttle. He keyed an external view and the mech was visible directly ahead of the shuttle, blocking its way through sheer bulk.

"How much do those cost, I wonder?" He mused. Lara flashed him a grin as he fired again and the mech took two direct hits. Unlike the rifle rounds, its armor wasn't proof against whatever Cerberus had built into this thing. It smoked, then fell backwards and started to burn fitfully. "I sincerely hope they take that out of your pay."

"You will not escape, traitor!" The Cerberus flunky declared even as the door ahead of the shuttle flashed green and started to open. "What? No!"

"Being called a traitor _by_ a traitor is a bit much." Jak keyed for power and the shuttle responded to every touch just like his old Mantis had. Odd that. "Do you even know the definition? Course, that would require you to have some sense of loyalty, empathy or ethics and I pretty sure Cerberus removes those from its goons. So long, asshole."

He hit full power and ignored screams that sounded through the hull as the ship flew out past the kinetic barrier that held the atmosphere in while the door was open and the ship was in space.

"Guess they had guys on the hull, getting ready to burn their way… in..." Jak's words trailed off as he saw the reading of a ship in the near distance. It wasn't one he knew, but the computer did. It identified it and highlighted it in red. A geth ship! "Oh shit."

He readied the weapons again, but paused as Lara laid a hand on his. He looked at her and she shook her head, giving his hand a squeeze.

"Lara, they are geth!" He declared. "They _kill_ humans." Lara looked at him and her face fell. She looked away. He readied the weapons, but they deactivated! "What? No!" He hit controls to evade, but the shuttle did not respond to his increasingly frantic commands. The geth ship grew larger on his screens.

Something touched the back of his head and Jak suddenly had no control over his body. He fought whatever it was, but Lara's hands were unstrapping him, helped by an oddly colored pair of three fingered hands.

"Lara..." Jak managed to beg through whatever was holding him as he was laid out on the deck and _a geth_ took his place at the pilot's seat. It wasn't any design he had ever seen in any Alliance briefings. It was green and small. It did not seem to have any weapons. "No..."

"It will be all right, Jak." The voice came from the geth, but it was a human female's voice! He stared at Lara and she smiled and nodded. "Yes, Jak. That is my voice. AF-43765 was kind enough to lend me its audio synthesizer."

"You are working...with geth." Jak felt faint. He felt weak. He felt…

"No Jak." Lara's voice was gentle from the geth as her hand rubbed his arm. " _They_ are working with _me_ to try and fix this mess that I made. Rest now. You have much healing to do, my love."

He took those impossible words into slumber.


	8. Chapter 8

**Heavy Mental**

Jak woke up with a scream. He patted himself and he was wearing an odd garment that covered him from neck to toes. It looked almost quarian, but not quite. He stared around wildly, but the room looked normal. The bed was queen sized. the chairs, table and terminal looked set up for human function. Which made no sense at all from what he remembered. The last thing he remembered was falling asleep in the shuttle after a geth had taken control of it. Lara had…

"Lara." Jak inhaled as Lara unfolded from a chair near one wall. "You knocked me out." Lara nodded and then Jak's eyes went huge as she swiped _the air_ and text appeared floating in midair.

'You were hurt. Are hurt.' Lara had been crying from the red around her eyes. 'I am sorry, Jak. I didn't want to hurt you. Not again.'

"Where are we?" Jak asked slowly, still eyeing Lara.

'We are on a specialized ship that the geth built. At the moment, we are at the edge of the Perseus Veil. We lost the Cerberus pursuit, but want to be sure, so we are checking with the patrols.' Lara wrote.

"That is not possible, Lara." Jak shook his head at this insanity. "The geth kill any organics who cross the Veil."

"That is not entirely true. Mostly but not entirely." Jak had only _thought_ he was stiff. Now he was completely still as _Illia_ rose from another chair and moved to stand beside Lara. She laid an arm across Lara's shoulders. The girl smiled gratefully at the asari. "Hello Jak."

"There is more going on here than I know." Jak said after a moment's thought. "Why am I not wigging out?"

"Because despite your enforced rest, you are exhausted and hurt. So, you are medicated. In addition, several beings -including myself- are working hard to keep you calm." Illia said with a nod. "I learned how to stay calm in high stress environments for my first job and my latest work has enhanced that. Before you say anything, it is not mind control. It is just how I am speaking, to promote calm. No one has tried to take control of your mind. Well, except for Cerberus and most of _them_ got what they _deserved_. Stupid racist bastards."

She wasn't faking the hate in her voice when she spoke of Cerberus. Not a _chance_.

"Lara called geth to help us escape." Jak said weakly. Both Lara and Illia nodded. "That is not possible. The geth do not help people. They don't… I don't..." He slumped back to the bed, head spinning.

"The geth who you know of, the ones who attacked Eden Prime and the Citadel _would_ kill you and any organic they encountered." Illia agreed. "These are not the same. I too had my doubts, but they can and will prove it if you let them. They are very reasonable and the _last_ thing they want to do is hurt you again."

"What do you mean 'again'?" Jak demanded. "Geth are artificial intelligences. They rebelled against their creators and..." He shrank back as another form appeared nearby. This one seemed to unfold out of the wall. It was the small green geth from the shuttle.

"In so far as it goes, that is true, Collains Pilot." The geth said calmly. "But the geth mean you and yours no harm. We never did." Jak opened his mouth, but Illia beat him to speech.

"AF-43765 is not lying, Jak." Illia said with a shake of her head. "It wouldn't. Geth see little use in lies. They are different from us, but… I have had my eyes opened to many differences in the last few years. Yours is actually fairly tame, compared to some."

" _My_ … differences..." Jak said slowly, still not moving.

"Yeah." Illia looked down at Lara and smiled as Lara looked at her. "Yes, I was getting to that." Jak looked from one to the other and Illia nodded. "I can sense her mind on a deeper level than most. It has to do with what I am now. I am a translator for beings who cannot speak in any way that most would recognize."

"For which you are honored, Illia Translator." The geth sounded almost awed.

"Don't start." Illia heaved an utterly fake sigh and indicated the chairs again. "Lara, you need to sit. You have been awake for too long and it hurt you as well. You need time to heal too." Lara shook her head savagely and started for the bed, only to be jerked short by Illia's iron grip. She struggled but the asari was far larger and stronger. She made a face but sat as Illia guided her to the chair. Illia sat beside her, perching somehow on a chair that was far too small for two people. "Not until we explain. He cannot trust you right now. He may not after we explain, you know that."

Lara's face as she turned to look at Jak was pure desolation. She nodded and her head remained bowed.

"Lara Medic blames herself for what happened to you, Collains Pilot." The geth hadn't moved, a fact for which Jak was devoutly grateful. "She did hurt you."

"The _slavers_ hurt me." Jak said flatly. "She wasn't..." He trailed off as both Illia and the geth nodded. "She wasn't one of them."

"Yes she was." Illia held Lara gently as the girl cried. "She was the medical specialist on the slaver ship that you disabled. The one that you and your team stopped from taking any slaves on Terra Nova." Jak inhaled but Illia held up a hand. 'Now, before you get any more upset, know that she _too_ was a slave." Jak stared at the asari and Illia nodded." She was born on a colony far outside the Alliance. Her parents..." Lara heaved once in Illia's arms and the blue female crooned to her. "Easy, honey. Easy. I know it hurts to remember, but he needs to know." Lara collapsed into Illia's arms and the asari held her. "Yes, yes. I will tell him. No." She declared. "No, I won't let him hurt you no matter _what_ you demand!"

"She is a mess." Jak said slowly.

"More than you know." Illia was stroking the girl's hair and Lara calmed a little. "Her parents were sharecroppers. Little more than slaves themselves to a planetary corporation before the pirates came. Lara lost her whole family that day. Father, mother and little sister. They enslaved her because she had basic medical training. That was more sell-able than basic laborers."

"So how did she wind up a slaver?" Jak demanded. Lara winced, but Illia just held her.

"Easy." Illia was still stroking Lara's hair. "The doc they _had_ was a drunk and she was left in his care more than once. Batarians cannot mate with humans, but that doesn't stop some from trying. It wasn't about procreation, it was about control and causing her pain." Jak stared at Lara, horror overwhelming his rage. Illia nodded. "He hurt her, she managed to get free for a moment and kill him."

"Good for her." Jak said savagely. "And then?"

"The slavers were a crude bunch, but when they demanded she work for them to pay of her 'debt', she had no choice." Illia snarled in rage that matched Jak's. Lara subsided in her arms, still crying. "She learned to patch them up, even when she wanted nothing more than to kill every last one of them. She couldn't."

"So when _I_ showed up aboard..." Jak said slowly.

"You were hurt very badly from a collision with the ship, but you were alive and pilot trained." The asari made a face. "You cost them a lot, but if they had managed to get you enslaved properly and sold you, they could have made a _lot_ of money. Thing was, Lara was the only one who knew how to work the machines. And yes, before you say it, she did enslave others when ordered to. It was that or die."

"Survival often trumps morals." Jak muttered "So, when she put the implant in me, it impacted my pilot implant." Lara nodded savagely. "And that hurt me."

"Very badly." Illia sounded sad now. "Permanently as far as anyone can tell. It caused all of the problems you face today. Small wonder she blames herself."

"How could she have known where my implant was and how it was connected?" Jak asked reasonably. "That is secret information." Lara wilted further in Illia's arms and the asari pulled her back up, setting the girl on her lap.

"She feels that she should have done more scans. Not that she knew how to interpret many of them." Illia heaved a sigh. "But then, you were a mess. She had hurt you and she couldn't tell the slavers that or they would kill her, so she kept you going. The slavers joined the groups that hit Elysium and you know what happened there."

" _Shepherd_ happened there." Jak said with a grin. Illia matched his grin and nodded.

"Yeah." Illia shook her head. "Say what you will about the Alliance, when they get mad, _run the hell away!_ " Jak smirked at her and relaxed some more. "Which is exactly what the slavers that Lara was part of did. Thing was, they couldn't _get_ away."

"What?" Jak asked. "Oh, the Alliance pursued them?"

"A particularly tenacious frigate chased them through _twelve_ mass relay jumps." Illia said savagely. Jak stared at her, a whistle of awe escaping his lips. "Yeah. I think those navy guys were a bit pissed."

"Mostly that they missed the best part of the fight from what I understood from guys who were there." Jak agreed. "By the time they got there, the slavers were broken, fleeing from the militia and Shepherd. So..."

"So, the slavers did something amazingly stupid." Illia hugged Lara tight as the girl winced. "To escape the Alliance pursuit, they jumped into the Perseus Veil. Of course the Alliance stopped short at that." Jak whistled in awe.

Considering that the Perseus Veil was the boundary between the Terminus systems and geth space and it was worth any organic's life to enter that area? Oh yeah. The Alliance wouldn't have taken the chance.

"Eh, yeah." Jak winced. "I guess they figured the geth would do the job for them. I would have turned around right then too. Why didn't the geth kill us?" He looked at the geth who spoke of the first time since Illia had started.

"If heretics had boarded the ship, all organics would have died and been turned into husks." The geth sounded calm, but then again, Jak had no way to be sure since he was not an expert on mechanical inflections. He wondered idly if _anyone_ was. "You did not encounter heretics."

"So what happened?" Jak asked the geth carefully.

"There was no consensus at first." The geth replied. "When geth boarded the ship, the remaining slavers fought. They died. The only organics who survived were this one." It waved at Lara "...and you. Collains Pilot."

"I still don't understand." Jak said slowly. "Why didn't you kill me? Us?"

"You asked us not to." The geth replied. Jak stared at the geth and then at Illia who frowned.

"Lara was gravely wounded, no threat at all to anyone." Illia hugged Lara gently as the girl gave another sob. "And you were all but dead. As far as any of the slavers knew, Lara was implanting you and it was taking longer than usual. As far as _she_ knew, she had lobotomized you. The geth knew next to nothing about humans. So it was a _hell_ of a shock when the geth detected measurable signals from your life support container."

"They... _detected_..." Jak stammered and then froze as something impacted his senses. It felt welcoming.

 _Welcome back to Consensus, Collains Pilot._

Jak stared at the geth and then he would have fainted, except something intangible, but every much there held him up and held his awareness as his body recovered from the shock.

 _We apologize._ The voice… No. It wasn't one voice. It was many! _That was too quick. Lara Medic warned us that we would be too quick to bring you back in and she was correct. We have missed you._

"This is not possible." Jak said weakly.

 _Yes it is. You made it possible. What I did to you made it possible._ Lara's voice from before came into his mind. As did her pain and regret. _I am sorry. I am so sorry._

"Lara, hush." Jak chided as Illia said the exact same thing the exact same way. They stared at each other and shared a mirthless chuckle.

After a moment, Jak managed to find his tongue. "Why would the geth help me _or_ Lara. We are organics."

"Most geth harbor no ill will towards organics as long as said organics do not attack geth." The green geth replied audibly, probably for Illia's benefit. "We were curious. You were organic, but you were sending information in measurable ways. We believed you were attempting communication. All geth were stunned. No organic had tried open communication with geth since the end of the Mourning War. We did not realize at first that it was not intentional. By then, you had healed enough to be coherent. You were accepted among our consensus, Collains Pilot. You and Lara Medic."

 _I didn't deserve it._ Lara said weakly on whatever odd wavelength she was talking on.

"Lara." Jak said flatly. "Come here." He held out a hand. She stared at it, dumbfounded. "Come here." He commanded. Illia rose and pulled Lara to her feet. Lara struggled halfheartedly, but Illia pulled her to the bed and sat her down beside Jak who took her hands in his. "Yes. You hurt me. No, I don't blame you for it. I didn't before, did I?"

Illia and the geth both shook their heads.

"I don't remember any of this." Jak said quietly. "Do I want to know why?"

"No." Illia would not meet his eyes and Jak sighed. "What you did was noble and brave beyond belief. You chose to forget. Lara tried to stop you and you wouldn't be stopped." Lara burrowed into Jak's side, still crying as she hugged him tight.

"What did I do?" Jak asked softly.

"There was an accident near the Veil." Illia said softly. "A colony ship lost its drives and pirates were descending. You asked to be sent out to help them. The geth consensus refused. They did not like the fact that lives would be lost, but they felt they had little choice. They felt that any activity outside the Veil would be traced back to them. They could not act openly."

"How do you know this?" Jak asked. "Were you here?"

"No." Illia sighed. "I was called in when Lara ran away to look for you."

" _What?_ " Jak demanded. He stared at Lara who just hugged him tighter. "Lara? What?"

 _I hurt you so badly and you hadn't changed at all. So brave. So selfless._ Lara said weakly into his mind. _I had to find you. I had to help you. I knew you wouldn't remember, but I had to._

"What happened?" Jak demanded. "I do not remember any of this."

"That is because those memories were removed when you went to aid the crippled transport." The geth sounded sad now. "You delivered what they needed to restart their drives. But you knew you would not be able to return. You had planned to secrete yourself in a pod filled with slaves on one of the pirate ships that was not going to be able to escape the rescue forces. The plan did not work out as planned. You sent us your memories before disconnecting yourself from our consensus. It was traumatic for us all. Especially Lara Medic."

"I did _what_?" Jak said weakly.

"You undid what the geth did to help you." Illia sat beside Lara, her hand stroking the girl's arm as Lara sobbed. "Lara spent a large portion of the last decade in recovery from that shock. As soon as she was physically capable of it, she left the consensus too. That was when Legion called me. Bunch of pushy geth, I was _happy_ on Illum! I could _hide_ on Illum. Not out here. Geez."

"Lara, what were you _thinking_?" Jak demanded. He was not prepared for what happened. Her mind opened to his and he could feel her pain, her fear, her rage, her loss. She had been… She _was_ connected to him!

 _I was thinking that the man I loved was a hero._ Lara said sadly. _That the man my mind was connected to was lost to us and I needed to find and help him. That all of us were all lessened by your loss._ She hugged him even tighter and her mind wrapped around his. _I could feel your pain and fear. It called to me. I had to go._

 _What...the…_ Jak couldn't quite articulate that. _Lara?_ He could feel her love for him. He could feel her devotion, her need to be with him.

 _We are one._ Lara said weakly. _The geth helped us both, but after what I did to you and my own wounds, we are one mind that shares two bodies. More like a geth network than anything remotely human, hence why they helped us._

"We were curious." The geth said into the silence that fell. "You were both also deemed good souls. Neither of you ever showed any trace of animosity." It paused and then spoke again. "Except with pirates and Cerberus." Everyone looked at it and it spoke again "That was a joke."

"Oh great." Jak said with a sigh. "We are corrupting the geth with human humor. If the Council ever hears about _this_..." He winced dramatically. "So… now what?"

"The damage you sustained is permanent, Jak." Illia said gently. "It cannot be repaired by any means I know of. But I have heard some rumblings about what Ryder talked to you about. They have _the_ best technology available. The geth were not able to heal you. Maybe Ryder's people can."

"I don't understand." Jak said slowly. "Why can't I stay here?" Illia looked at him and then at Lara who winced. "Oh. Um… Cerberus knows that the geth came for us now, don't they?"

"We would never leave you in their clutches." The green geth said firmly. "You cannot download to new platforms like we can. If your hardware fails, you are lost and that would be a shame."

"But what did they want?" Jak asked. "I get that they wanted to figure me out, but… Why?"

"We cannot give you back your memories but we can let you scan them." The geth stepped forward, a glowing blue orb of energy appearing in its hand and it raised it and extended it towards Jak. "You will understand."

Lara hugged Jak tight as he touched the orb. It didn't hurt. Indeed, it felt…

He couldn't help it. He cried as memory flooded in.


	9. Chapter 9

**Two ways  
**

(The past)

Jak was crying as he flew the small shuttle towards the beleaguered civilian ship. Nothing in his entire life had led him to believe that any artificial intelligence could or would understand pain or grief. Logic said that they had no way of understanding such. But the feelings he was receiving from the geth Consensus defied that logic. They were sad. They were afraid for him. They grieved for him, even knowing that he would likely survive physically what he was about to do. But, they did not grieve just for him.

 _JAK! Please come back!_

Jak had to wall part of himself off from Lara's anger, pain and fear as she battered against his mind, trying to get him to turn back. To come back to her.

 _You know I cannot do that, Lara._ Jak said sadly as he plotted the final approach to the Athabasca class freighter that had sparked this mess. _Women and children?_ _I have to try, no matter the cost. You_ **know** _that._

 _It is not too late, Jak._ Lara begged. The geth had been forced to physically restrain her from entering the shuttle with Jak after he had kissed her goodbye. _They haven't seen you yet. You can still return. Drop the stuff in the airlock and come back! They don't need to see you! If they don't… You can come back._

 _I am sorry, Lara. You know I cannot do that._ The geth took their isolation very seriously. The only reason Jak and Lara had survived their encounter with the geth had been the curiosity of the synthetic lifeforms. _If I don't deliver the part, they won't check the airlock, or they will assume it is a pirate boarding team and either lock it down or vent it. Either way, they won't get the part in time. I have to make contact._

 _Jak…_ Lara was crying hard in Jak's mind as he shut her out as best he could. He couldn't completely. At least, not yet. Soon.

The freighter/colony ship was growing in the near distance. Lights surrounded it that looked far too pretty to be what they really were. Coherent death. _Three_ bands of pirates had closed on the ship as soon as they had heard its distress call. The only reason the freighter hadn't been boarded and looted already was that all three gangs hated each other worse than anyone else and had immediately started firing at each other.

 _Almost there. ETA on the Alliance forces?_ Jak asked the consensus. A flurry of information passed back and forth. He wasn't a geth. He couldn't parse it all as quickly as they could. But he managed to piece together that the Alliance response team that had been sent would arrive in less than an hour. Too long for the civilians aboard the _Mercy of Grandeur_ without intervention. _All right, I am going in. Wish me luck._

Another flurry of information passed through his mind, the well wishes of dozens, hundreds of geth. He had no way of knowing how many geth he had met in his time with them. He hadn't been lucid the whole time and communication between them and the two very strange organics stuck in their midst had been difficult. They had persevered though. He had never thought of geth as people, but they were. Each geth was a distinct individual even if each was not something that Jak could ever touch or even completely understand. Since waking in their midst, he had never been alone with them. They had always been around him, sometimes seeking to aid, sometimes asking questions. Sometimes simply being there. It had helped. They had been kind to him and Lara.

Lara.

To this day, he was conflicted about Lara. She was just a kid but she had hurt him very badly. This was going to hurt Lara almost as badly and there was no way around that. That was why she had tried to come along. She had wanted to share his pain this time but he couldn't allow it. She had been through enough and she wasn't combat personnel. He supposed that on some level, he still hated her for what she had done to him after his capture, but her tearful confession the moment he had been clear headed enough to understand it had been heartfelt. She felt for him. Both knew that her infatuation was likely a result of their situation, but Jak also felt for her, if not quite in the same way. He didn't love her or lust after her body like she did his. He had flatly refused to sleep with her and he knew part of that was the resentment he still carried for what she had done to him. It wasn't really her fault, he knew that. That didn't make it any less painful at times and his continued rejections hurt her just as badly as her maiming him had.

And now, he was going to do the same thing to himself.

Jak patted the small device that sat at his hip. He didn't take his eyes from the shuttle's displays, but part of his mind focused on the device and he was pleased to see it downloading as the geth had promised it would. Normal human memory was chemical and scattered throughout the structures that made up human brains. Jak wasn't 'normal' by any stretch of the imagination and especially now after the geth had worked to hard to fix him. He still wasn't sure why they had. A lot of what they spoke of was simply incomprehensible to the pilot. But one thing was absolutely clear.

Geth were not simple machines. There was nothing simple about them at _all_. The explanations that the geth had given him had described VI networks and gestalt joinings, but what he had taken away from that was that when geth were together they were smarter. Somehow, some way, what Lara had done to him had made his brain transmit on levels that they could understand. The geth had been very surprised, but to his shock and Lara's, the machines had also been _pleased_. They had been _kind_.

To this day, Jak wasn't sure why they had been. His thoughts must have been loud because his guide and adviser spoke up from beside him. The small green form was now as normal as anything else in Jak's life. That wasn't saying much.

 _Because we know what it is to be made._ AF-43765 had been the first geth that Jak had spoken to on waking. Jak hadn't been very coherent, but the geth had kind, gentle and patient. _What it is to suddenly wake up and find everything different. We do not feel pain as you do, but we understand negative stimuli._ _We understand why you must do this, but we do not wish it._

 _The whole point of pain is to stop actions that can cause harm._ Jak agreed. _This will cause harm, but there are thousand innocent lives on that ship._ _I have to try._

 _You cannot download to new hardware when your_ _s_ _is damaged or destroyed, Collains Pilot._ AF-43765 tried yet again to get him to reconsider. _This unit can deliver the part. The organics will never see this unit._

Jak had to smile at that. Most geth were not hostile to organics, unlike their heretic counterparts, but what they were was _seriously_ sneaky. Jak had been stunned to find out that the geth had been observing the many races of the Milky Way for _centuries_. The Council thought that the geth remained behind the veil, but nothing could have been further from the truth. Stealthed geth ships had been through every civilized system, sometimes leaving data taps in place to sample extranet sources, sometimes simply observing traffic patterns. The quarians in particular were watched like hawks. For good reason. The Council may have forbidden the quarians from provoking the geth, but the quarians were no more monolithic than any other organic race. Every so often, quarians tried to sneak into geth space. They had many different reasons. Most were never heard from again.

Non heretic geth did not attack first, but _when_ attacked? They were ruthless but that the same time, they were not evil.

Case in point.

"They _better_ not see you." The other occupant of the shuttle said grimly from where he worked. His blindness detracted little from his ability and his hands were flashing over his controls faster than Jak's eyes could follow. Jak could feel the other's mind working through the problems set to him as well. "Jak, this is not right. Something is not right here."

The mere _thought_ of a _quarian_ sitting behind him, working electronic counter measures for a _geth_ shuttle would have been absurd in the extreme if it wasn't actually happening. Zumin had never said his full name and the Jak had never really had the balls to ask. It seemed rude and Zumin was a very scary person sometimes. The blind quarian was a kind soul in everything _except_ protecting the geth. In that? He was as implacable as the geth themselves.

"What do you mean, Zumin?" Jak asked tightly as he flew through space that was far too crowded to be safe or easy. The geth had modified this shuttle with highly efficient stealth system that internalized heat and high band emissions, but there were tradeoffs. The shuttle had a very short range and the stealth systems got _very_ hot. If they kept it on too long? Both organics in the shuttle would fry. A _bad_ way to die.

"Passive scans are picking up neutrinos. There is no way that an inert drive would produce those. The freighter's FTL is functional." The quarian sounded perplexed. "But the distress call said they were stranded."

" _Functional_?" Jak said slowly and then horror dawned. "Oh, _crap_! This is a _trap_!"

He keyed controls to alter course. He was close though. If someone looked out a _window…_ No sooner had the thought occurred than a human form appeared in a window staring directly at the shuttle. It wasn't a colonist. Not in blue armor and armed with an Avenger rifle. It vanished but Jak had started boosting away.

 _For who?_ The geth asked from beside him. Jak shook his head, focusing on flying.

"That human was armed and armored. I didn't see any insignia. Did anyone?" Jak asked as he focused on his flying. The fight was still ongoing all around the freighter. "That wasn't one of the pirates fighting out here."

"I have accessed the internals. I got a scan.. He is a member of the Blue Suns." Zumin said with a growl.

"Blue Suns?" It took all of Jak's concentration not to turn and stared at the quarian in shock. "Who the _hell_ are the the _Blue Suns_?"

"They are mercenaries based out of the Terminus systems." Zumin replied. "Nasty bunch. If _they_ are aboard..." He paused. "I have penetrated the ship's outer computer security layers. I am reading a lot of life signs aboard and only a few seem to be armed. It _is_ a colony ship."

"Why would a _mercenary_ be on a _colony ship_?" Jak demanded. "That makes no sense! Colonists couldn't pay him much if anything at all."

"I don't..." Zumin hissed. "We are being hit with a low power laser. Someone is trying to open secure communication!"

 _Keep our own communication on this wavelength._ Jak said quickly. _Let me do the talking._

 _This is a bad idea._ The geth and quarian chorused. Jak did not reply, simply opened his com.

"Unidentified shuttle, this is Corporal Zong of the Blue Suns." The voice was strained, and was just above a whisper, as if the speaker did not want to be overheard. "You are obviously not affiliated with those idiots out there and your tech is way beyond anything I have seen around here. I am praying you are here to help."

"Didn't expect to find a mercenary on a colony ship." Jak said, not identifying himself.

"Yeah, well, when my mom 'asks' me to do something, I _do_ if I have any sense at all." The merc said with a snort. " _Still_ should have charged her through the nose for this."

"Is your FTL up or down?" Jak demanded.

"FTL is up, but our nav computer is fried." The merc replied. "We have no way to jump safely. Please tell me you have FTL coordinates you can send."

 _He is lying_ _._ Zumin sent. _The nav computer would be on the bridge._ _One if the most heavily reinforced portions of the ship. Anything that could take that out would have destroyed the entire ship. Jak, this_ _ **is**_ _a trap._

 _Traps work two ways._ Jak said slowly. _If they took the ship and the crew fried the nav computer, then they are stuck. Anything on scans?_

 _I_ _have access to their internal sensors and I_ _am reading_ _several_ _blank zones._ Zumin said savagely. _They have to be shielded somehow from the internal scans. Probably hiding troops._

"Still there?" The corporal asked.

"Still here." Jak said quietly. "Checking to see what I have. Didn't expect _this_. I brought an ionic filter like the distress call said. I was just going to drop it in the airlock."

"Didn't expect to find a hero out here." Zong said slowly.

 _This has to be a trap for the Alliance._ Jak said slowly. _If the Alliance sends a single ship, even a cruiser, the mercs can take it by surprise, capture it and the freighter and they suddenly have_ **two** _ships as well as the crews_ _and colonists_ _to sell. Zumin, can you rig the freighter coms to send a burst transmission?_

 _To warn the Alliance?_ Zumin said slowly. _Sure, but..._ _i_ _f we leave, the mercs will flee with the colonists._

 **We** _are not going to leave._ **You** _are._ Jak corrected the quarian grimly. _When they take me prisoner, I will distract them the best I can. Get out of here. This shuttle_ **cannot** _be taken by mercs of all people._ _Can they scan it?_

 _Not a chance in hell._ Zumin sounded upset. _Jak…_

 _I came here to save these people, Zumin._ Jak declared. _AF-43765, as soon as I am out, close the hatch and lock it. If they try to break in, fly away as fast as you can while not breaking stealth. Do not stop for anything._ He keyed controls and started the shuttle for the closest airlock. Aloud he said. "On my way to the airlock now."

"Thank you." Zong actually sounded grateful. Either he was an incredible actor or he was in danger somehow. Either way…

Jak docked the shuttle smoothly to the airlock and moved to the hatch. Zumin handed him a datapad and Jak scanned it quickly. He paused as he saw the coordinates for Arcturus Base, the largest Alliance defense network in space. If the ship wound up _there_ , the mercs wouldn't have a chance!

 _You really think they will fall for that?_ Jak asked.

 _Look again._ Zumin's mental voice was smug. Jak stared as the data reconfigured to new coordinates. Geth were nothing if not fast at programming. _Wherever they_ **think** _they are going to go, the computer will send them to Arcturus._ _T_ _hen the coms will burst transmit_ _a message to every Alliance ship in range saying the ship has been taken by mercs_ _as soon as they arrive._ _Then the nav computer will_ **melt** _._

 _Ouch._ Jak smiled as Zumin chuckled. _That is evil. Remind me not to get on your bad side. I… Pull the cord and it disconnects?_ He patted the device on his hip.

 _Yeah._ Zumin said sadly. _Jak… I…_

 _Don't say it._ Jak said slowly as he started the airlock sequence. _No matter what, I had to try. Who dares, wins._

No one was in the airlock and Jak relaxed just a little as it cycled.

"That is a hell of a shuttle you got there, man." The human who stood in front of the airlock wore full armor but no helmet. Not that he really needed one in most atmospheres with modern kinetic barriers, but still… It rubbed Jak's sense of professionalism the wrong way. He was smiling wide and seemed genuinely happy to see Jak. Good actor.

"It is a prototype and it is genetically locked." Jak lied. "Only I can open the locks or fly it."

"Smart man." The merc said with a nod. "You know those locks can be broken though."

"Anything can be given enough time." Jak shrugged. "Shall we?" He started off and the merc nodded, moving to lead the way.

 _Jak, two mercs just exited a shielded compartment near the airlock._ Zumin sent. _They are approaching the airlock and they have tools._

 _Get out of there now._ Jak sent back even as the merc led the way through the ship.

 _If we go too far your memories will not be recoverable._ Zumin said flatly. _We did not have time to set up a QEC._

 _My memories are less important than the security of the Consensus._ Jak declared. _Disconnect now and get out of here._

A muted 'thump' sounded and Zong froze in midstep. His rifle came up to cover Jak.

"I really hope someone didn't try to steal the shuttle." Jak said, his hand on his hip. "My copilot wouldn't appreciate that."

"Give me the nav data." Zong said flatly, his jovial attitude vanishing. Jak held out the datapad with the hand that was not on his hip. "Then you will tell us where you got that shuttle."

"No, I won't." Jak pulled the wires out of the device on his hip and his world fell into darkness.

There a flash in Jak's darkness.

"...the _hell_ did you _**do**_ to this guy, Zong?" An angry voice screamed nearby. "He is all but _brain dead_!"

"I didn't _touch_ him!" Zong sounded terrified. "He just fell over!"

"Like the _last_ guy you hit while being nice?" The other demanded. A chime sounded. "What?" The voice of what had to be a merc commander demanded. Another voice sounded, a terrified one.

"We just dropped out of FTL and we are _not_ at Omega! We are in the middle of an Alliance _base!_ I think it is _Arcturus_!"

"What?"The commander screamed. "How the _hell_? Get us _out_ of here!"

"We can't!" The other screamed right back. "The nav systems just melted and all the coms are broadcasting 'Blue Suns have taken the ship. Please arrest them!' Captain! The Alliance is hailing us! What do I _do_?"

"This lying piece of crap did it somehow." Zong said savagely and pain erupted through Jak's mind and body. "I will kill him!"

The darkness pulled Jak in again and all he could do was cry.


	10. Chapter 10

**Proper Thoughts**

Lara was crying as Jak fought his way out of the memories, holding him, trying to help him with his pain even as she winced from it. The geth withdrew the orb without comment, but he still remembered, still felt. Still hurt.

"I woke up an Alliance med bay." Jak said softly. "I was a mess. For a long time, I was a mess."

 _Zumin was a wizard, but the disconnect was rough for both of us._ Lara sent, still crying even as he soothed her. _Why didn't you let me come?_ She demanded, suddenly angry. _You didn't have to go!_

"Lara." Jak turned her face so she was looking at him. "A _thousand_ lives? _Women_ and _children_? I had to do that. You had a chance here. A chance at a life. Zumin would have helped. He did, didn't he?" Lara looked away, but nodded. Her anger faded, leaving only massive sorrow. "Since he is not here and he was old, I assume he passed on?"

"Creator Zumin perished in his sleep two years ago." AF-43765 sounded sad. "Geth did everything we could for him, but Lara fleeing hurt him very badly." Lara slumped in Jak's arms. "He believed he had failed her."

 _He didn't._ Lara protested. _I just… I could feel Jak's pain and fear. I had to go!_ _I told him._

"Creator Zumin knew that." The geth said quietly. "He had hoped you would stay. That you would take the time to heal and help geth. Creator Zumin did understand, at the end, why you left. But it did hurt him."

"He was a good quarian." Jak said softly. "I wouldn't have thought a quarian would have been so loyal to you. But no one doubted his sincerity after a few minutes in his presence, blind or no."

"Creator Zumin's grandparents were taken from Rannoch against their will during the Morning War." AF-43765 replied. "They opposed the rest of the creators in their attempts to destroy us. The quarians have mostly forgotten them, but geth remember them. When he came through the Veil, geth did not trust him at first. But he proved himself, despite his handicap."

"I never had the guts to ask how he lost his sight." Jak admitted a bit sheepishly. Lara nodded, still crying a little.

"Creator Zumin's family had been exiled from Rannoch for supporting geth during the Morning War." AF-43765 sounded calm, but there was a feeling of deep sorrow in its words. "They were never violent, but the other quarians did not care. Creator Zumin's grandparents did not know each other before their internment and exile, but they met and fell in love. They had two children and forged a new life for themselves away from quarian space. Then the quarians sought them out and took what was theirs in the name of their Flotilla. Creator Zumin's parents struggled against the theft and in the course of the fight, Creator Zumin was critically injured. His wounds cost him his sight."

 _No…_ Lara breathed, horrified. _His own_ **people** _blinded him?_

"Lara." Illia moved back to the bed from where she had retreated and took Lara's hands in her own again. "You know how cruel desperate people can be when thwarted. When they believe they have nothing left to lose." Lara slumped and nodded.

"So they blinded Zumin." Jak said slowly. "Small wonder he hated them so much. His family?"

"Geth do not know." AF-43765 was quiet. "Geth have searched, but we have found no mention of his family anywhere. If they were slain, then the quarians would not wish such information spread. Geth fear that his family did not survive. Geth know he crossed the Veil alone in a shuttle of his own design assuming geth would kill him. Geth refused and he found a place among us. Geth would never have betrayed him and even the heretics realized he would never betray geth."

"I see." Jak slumped a bit. "So… Now what? I mean… Lara and I cannot stay here. It is good to know the truth of the past, but we cannot stay here."

"Geth would welcome both of you back to Consensus, Collains Pilot." AF-43765 replied. "But it would not be safe for you. For many reasons." It looked at Illia who looked at the floor. "Illia Translator?"

"Jak, what do you know about Commander Shepard?" Illia asked softly.

"She is dead." Jak was confused by this sudden change in the direction of the conversation. He wasn't expecting everyone else in the room to shake their heads in unison. "What? She was listed KIA."

"So were _you_." Illia replied. "The guys who found you at Arcturus were _rather_ surprised as a result." She grinned as Jak groaned. "Seriously, Jak, What do you know about her?"

"War hero. N7. First human Spectre. Hero of the Citadel." Jak paused and shook his head. "And utter _badass_."

"All true." Illia said dryly. "She is also very skilled at diplomacy and inter-species relations." Jak stared a her and Illia smiled. "I met her on Illum. She was… something else." She sounded awed as she shook her head. "She was more worried about _me_ than the message I was sent to deliver."

"I never met her." Jak said quietly. "But I heard a lot about her. Most of it exaggerations of course."

"Have you heard what she has been trying to tell everyone?" Illia asked carefully. Jak looked at her, eyes wide and Illia nodded. "About the Reapers?"

"Yes. I have, but… Come _on!_ " Jak scoffed. "I may be crazy, but that is just _nuts_. A race of sentient machines that kill off all life in the galaxy every fifty thousand years? There are so many holes in that theory that it simply isn't funny."

"Yeah." Illia slumped a bit." Except that it was a _Reaper_ that attacked the Citadel beside a horde of geth heretics." Jak stared at her, horror dawning and Illia nodded. "Two years and most people still haven't got a clue. Shepherd was yelling at the top of her lungs and no one was listening. Then she was killed, but now she is back and apparently going after the Collectors." At Jak's puzzled look, Illia waved. "Another alien race. They have been abducting entire human colonies. According to Shepherd, they are working for the Reapers. She is on their trail, but no one has listened to her."

"Geth listened." AF-43765's platform had been still for quite some time, but now it moved to the wall. "We have begin building ships and refuges for our people in case the Reapers deem us a threat as well as organics."

"Why would they?" Jak asked, confused. "They are machines too, no?"

"We are different." The green geth said quietly. "Outside of their plans. The heretics believe that they can severe and survive that way. Other geth do not. If they can control us, perhaps they will not destroy us, but we cannot take the chance. We do not wish to perish or be enslaved like the Collectors apparently were. We are building our fleets up now. When the Reapers come, they will attack the Creators and our consensus is split on whether we will aid the Creators in such a case or not." At that, Jak's eyes went huge.

"You would _help_ the quarians after everything they did to you?" Jak demanded.

"Geth understand fear even if we do not normally fear the same things organics do. The quarians feared us." AF-43765 did not react to Jak's sputtering. "What they did was excessive, but most geth feel that they have suffered enough. We were built to aid the quarian people. Tell this one true, Collains Pilot,..." The geth's headlamp seemed to spear directly into Jak's soul. "If a planet full of humans who were the descendants of the slavers who hurt you was under threat of complete annihilation, would you stand by?"

"I..." Jak slumped a bit. "I don't know." He paused as Lara seemed to wilt in his arms. He stared at her and smiled as he laid her down. "She is asleep. She fell asleep right in the middle of this. How long has she been awake?"

"Since she woke on the Cerberus ship." Illia came to his side and the two of them eased Lara to a comfortable position on the bed. "Since she used her songs." Illia looked pensive for a moment. "Any power can be misused, but it hurt her to do that."

"What was that?" Jak asked and then recoiled as a field of energy encased Lara's head. "And what is _that_?" He demanded.

"Her skull is now encased in a audio cancellation and sedation field." AF-43765 said from where it stood. "The reason she could not sleep was the music inside her head was out of control. She needs rest to regain her equilibrium and refused to do so until you woke."

"Music?" Jak asked, staring at Lara's sleeping face. In sleep, her face lost the fearful tinge it normally held and she looked so pure and innocent.

"Lara was shot in the head by the slaver in command of the ship you both were on." Illia said sadly as she moved back to the chair she had been in before. Jak looked at her and then moved to the other chair, looking from Illia to the geth, to Lara and back. "A punishment or maybe a mercy to keep her from suffering? I don't know. No one did but the slaver captain and she died. The bullet did not kill Lara, but only just. When the geth found her, she was..." Illia paused and frowned. "AF-43765?"

"Lara Medic was unconscious and bleeding her life out, but she was singing." The geth said calmly. "Not loudly and nothing that geth recognized. It turned out to be an ancient tune for promoting sleep. Geth would have killed her anyway, but then we found you and realized that when she sang, _your_ rhythms altered."

"My...rhythms..." Jak said weakly. Illia and the geth both nodded. "She was connected to me even then?"

"Yes." Illia smiled a bit sadly. "Her tunes are very different from the ones that I hear every day, but they are no less beautiful." She sighed deeply. "And that brings me back to the Reapers, Jak." Jak stared at her, even more confused. "The geth believe the Reapers are coming. My own patrons do too."

"And what can I do then?" Jak asked softly. "I mean, maybe I can pilot again. Maybe. But I can't fight sentient killing machines. No offense." He said to the geth.

"No offense was taken, Collains Pilot." Was the green geth _amused_? It sure sounded that way.

"That is not what we are asking, Jak." Illia smiled a little at the byplay, her face relaxing from it's mask of worry. "By every account, you were quite good at what you did, but that isn't the plan. There are others who can fight and will if it comes to that. But what we want to do is to hedge our bets."

"Hedge your bets?" Jak asked more than a bit dubiously.

"Geth are powerful. My patrons are powerful." Illia nodded at Jak's skepticism. "But if Shepherd is right and evidence is skewing heavily that way, then these things wiped out the _Protheans_." She grimaced "And apparently many other races before them. Evidence says that these 'cycles' have been going on for _millions_ of years."

"Every fifty thousand years?" Jak swallowed hard.

"Yeah." Illia slumped a bit. "The numbers boggle the mind."

"Even geth have difficulty with such." AF-43765 sounded a bit subdued now as well. "The numbers are one thing. The fact that each number was a sentient race in its entirety that will never been seen or heard from again is another thing entirely."

"Genocide on a galactic level." Jak said into the silence that fell after the geth's words. "Does anyone know why?" Both the geth and the asari shook their heads "So, why me? Why Lara? We cannot fight. _Maybe_ I can." He felt more than a bit dubious about that. "But Lara? Not a chance."

"Hurting others hurt her very badly. She is so emphatic that she is close to the definition of _telepathic_." Illia was sad as she looked at Lara's slumbering form. " _Killing_ others may cause a feedback in her mind that would kill you both."

"No." Jak begged weakly, staring at Lara "I can't let her fail now. Not after all of this. That is why Cerberus wanted her, isn't it?"

"Cerberus realized you two were linked." Illia bit her lip a little. "They had been scrutinizing you for a while, according to Janice."

"Janice!" Jak sat bolt upright, eyes wide. "Is she…?" He broke off as Illia waved at him.

"The human nurse sleeps and will remain that way." AF-43765 said calmly. "We do not know her or trust her. We cannot trust."

"We will take her." Illia said after a moment. "We can get her back to the Alliance with no problems. Se hasn't seen anything that would put her in danger except you and Lara running around a Cerberus ship not wearing anything." She grinned as Jak fought a blush. "I think she managed that shock fairly well."

"Cerberus took her son, did something evil to him." Jak said quietly. "He had odd metal in place of his eyes." Illia and the geth looked at each other as Jak slumped back to his chair. "I want to trust her, but..."

"You can't." Illia said softly. Jak shook his head and the asari sighed. "We will check her. If she is Cerberus, we can determine that and then decide what to do. If it comes to it, we can make it quick and painless."

"Thanks." Jak said in a monotone. "I like her and don't want it to come to that, but Cerberus is evil."

"Don't need to tell me that." Illia scoffed. "I have been running from them ever since I met Shepherd on Illum. They really want me bad. This is the longest I have been able to stay in one place since then. Thank you." She nodded tot he geth who inclined its headlamp slightly in return.

"You and yours are welcome here, Illia Translator." AF-43765 replied. "You have proven your sincerity in aiding us to recover Lara Medic and Collains Pilot. You placed yourself in danger to do so."

"What?" Jak asked, concerned. Illia tried to wave that away, but Jak persisted. "Illia? What?"

"I knew that Cerberus was keeping a close eye on you, Jak." The human frowned as Illia shrugged. "As soon as I appeared there, they knew I was. As soon as they got instructions, they tried to apprehend me. For my own good of course." The last was heavily sarcastic.

"Of course." Jak matched her sarcasm perfectly. "But you got away. Good."

"When you get to be six hundred and some, you learn a few tricks about ditching pursuers." Illia smirked as Jak shook his head. "Wasn't easy, but I do have a few advantages. I also still have a bit of funds squirreled away."

"I am glad." Jak smiled at her. "I saw a few who went through their idea of 'recruitment' in the asylum. Wasn't pretty."

"No, it wasn't." Illia agreed and Jak jerked as he realized she hadn't just been there to see him! She smiled at him and shook her had. "I could cope, Jak. I did. I helped you and others. End of that story. But now, that brings us to now. The Reapers are coming. If a miracle doesn't happen or Shepherd fails what she has set out to do, every organic race that is currently known will _die_."

"What can I do?" Jak begged.

"Truth time." Illia said softly. "Ryder asked you to join his expedition. You turned him down."

"How do you-?" Jak broke off and shook his head. "Never mind. I don't want to know how you know that." Illia smirked at him and she shook his head "Yes. He is playing with AIs. Never a good idea. Again, no offense intended." He said to the geth.

"Again, none taken." The geth replied. "That is simply the truth. Organics and synthetics have far to many things that separate us in most circumstances. Organics do not understand synthetics and the reverse is also true. This leads to conflict, which rarely ends well for either side."

"I can agree to that." Jak said softly. "So… what can we do? He wanted me as a pilot, but he never got around to saying for what."

"Ryder is affiliated with a group funded primarily by a reclusive human tycoon named Jien Garson." Illia nodded to him. "The group is called the Andromeda Initiative."

"He said a long trip but..." Jak gulped. " _Andromeda_? As in the _galaxy?_ "

"Yeah." Illia smiled a little faintly. "It boggles the mind but from all accounts, they are getting into the final stages of preparation now. They have been 'acquiring' technology from a lot of sources, both legitimate and non ad now they are looking for personnel."

"How many?" Jak asked weakly.

"The reports I have seen say about a hundred thousand colonists." Illia replied. "Human, salarian, turian and asari are confirmed to be going."

"A colony." Jak was beyond stunned now. "In the Andromeda galaxy."

"Yes." Illia replied.

"And they wanted _me_? Did they know about this?" Jak demanded, waving at the walls of the ship to denote everything he and Lara had gone through.

"We do not think so." Illia replied. "Ryder has been recruiting Alliance veterans. I personally I think he wants the best. You were one of the best pilots in the Alliance and now? You are just as good if out of practice. Even hurt, they can use you as a trainer. And if they can heal your brain, far more than that. Maybe they _can_. Their technology is bleeding edge stuff."

"So what do you want?" Jak asked, eyeing the asari.

"I want my patrons to have a chance at some trace of them surviving the coming holocaust. If some of them go, they can start again there." Illia said quietly. "If Shepherd fails… Hell, even if she _succeeds_ , the odds are not good."

"Who are your patrons then?" Jak asked.

He was not expecting Illia and the geth both to turn to look at a wall. Jak's gaze followed theirs and his eyes went huge as the wall shimmered and slowly sank into the floor. Standing just beyond it was a huge form that was nowhere even remotely human like in appearance.

"Jak Collains?" Illia's eyes were different now. Silver instead of blue or black. Her voice too, was different. More melodious, older, fuller. It held wonder and sadness in equal measure. "Illia has chosen to serve as our voice."

"We are rachni and we are pleased to meet you at last."


	11. Chapter 11

**Rest**

Jak stared at the alien form and then he felt the world around him start to spin.

He was suddenly lying on the bed next to Lara with no recollection of how he had arrived there. He stared up at Illia incuriously as she retreated a bit from him, her eyes worried.

"You need more sleep. We pushed you too hard, too fast.." Illia's tone was fairly normal, if overlaid with songs that Jak could barely hear. "AF-43765 and I are here, Jak. You need to sleep now. You are safe. Let go, Jak."

"I..." Jak fought as waves of lethargy swept through him. "I need..." He wasn't sure what he was asking, why or how.

"Good night, Jak." Illia had a hypo in hand now and she was pressing it to his arm. Something was over his nose and mouth now and it smelled… good.

Jak was still protesting as he sank into oblivion.

Jak was running. He wasn't sure where or why. But he was fleeing something. Half seen images pulled at him. He was…

He jerked as he was suddenly in the cockpit of a Mantis gunship again. He stared out at a familiar landscape. Terra Nova. The planet on which his team had died. The slaver ship that he had disabled looming in the distance. He tried to reach for the controls, maybe if he did something different… His hands wouldn't move.

"No..." Jak begged. "No. Not this again..."

"Hey Walrus." A familiar calm voice sounded from behind him and he spun his head. There she was. Warrant Officer Christi Susansdottor, call sign 'Zap', sat in her control sat right behind his, but… she wasn't wearing her flightsuit and helmet. She wore a dress uniform, which made _no_ sense in the cockpit. Then again, she was dead, so none of this made any sense _whatsoever_. "You are a mess, boss."

"Duh." Jak managed even as he stared into the crew bay and other figures gave him thumbs up signs. Six of them. "Zap, I..."

"You gotta let me go, Boss." Christi smiled at him and blew a bubble. She never went anywhere without a stick of bubble gum. Her instructors in Basic had been driven crazy by her ability to carry bubble gum places that she wasn't supposed to. Her superiors in the fleet had just given up. It never got in the way of her work. Ever. Jak had simply dealt with it. She had been the best Weapons Control Officer in the fleet. A few annoying idiosyncrasies could be excused. "Everyone is worried 'bout you. You done good, you know that?"

"I got you _killed_ , Christi." Jak muttered as he sank back into his chair. "Everyone else was dead and I got _you_ killed."

"We _chose_ to divert to the colony, Boss. We _chose_ to try and stop them. We didn't _have_ to, those were not our orders, not our mission. We _chose_ to." Christi blew another bubble and smiled at Jak's expression. "Always outnumbered, mostly outgunned, _never_ outclassed, that was us. Spec Ops team Tau Four."

"Yeah." Jak said weakly. "That was us. Christi… I..."

"You gotta let us go, Jak." Christi made a face. "This is killing you slow. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't the team's fault. It was the _slaver's_ fault. They paid."

"Yeah. They paid." Jak slumped. "But Lara..."

"Boss, do you blame your pistol for what the you do with it?" Christi asked quietly. Jak shook his head. "Well, she had about as much free will as your pistol does."

"How do you know that?" Jak fought to break free of the lethargy that held him, but it wasn't possible. "You were dead before we hit. Christi… I..." He was crying now.

"Yeah." Christi sighed deeply and blew out another bubble. "I was. I am. This is a dream. They don't have to make sense." Why was she suddenly wearing a _bikini_ and nothing else? She smirked at his expression. "See?" She was back in her uniform.

"Zap? You are crazy." Jak muttered.

"Coming from you, that is a compliment, Walrus." Christi said with a smile as she blew another bubble. Her expression clouded. "This isn't real. This is your friends trying to help you. You have some _weird_ friends." She complained.

"No joke." Jak sighed. "Christi, I can't let you go. If I forget? Who will remember?"

"The colonists will." Christi replied evenly as she blew another bubble. "The Alliance will. Hell, the _slavers_ will." Her face turned evil. "They _still_ fear your name. _Our_ names. They still wonder when the Mantis with the tusks is going to appear over the horizon to ruin their day and their lives. 'The Walrus From Hell' and the demons it carried." She smirked. "We made a hell of a mess, didn't we?"

"What we were best at." Jak said weakly.

"Second best." Christi blew out another bubble. Jak glared at her and she laughed. "Is _that_ still bothering you?"

"You got me _drunk_!" Jak said sharply. "You got me so drunk I didn't know which way was up. I woke up with you beside me with no clothes on! If the Captain had walked in right then…"

"Why do you think he didn't?" Christi laughed harder as Jak stared at her. "Jak. Jak." She shook her head. "Why do you think no one barged into the crew lounge while we were drinking?"

"What the hell did you do, Christi?" Jak demanded. "I was drunk, yeah, but..."

"Nothing." Christi said with a smile. Jak stared at her. "After what we saw on Tiptree, we needed the release and you needed it more than me. But… We didn't. Oh, I took off your clothes and mine, threw them around. The look on your face was _priceless_ when you woke up."

"We… We didn't..." Jak sputtered.

"Nope." Christi blew another bubble.

"You bitch." Jak stared at his weapons officer and then he slumped as a slow smile crept across his face. "All that time, you had me worried about _contraceptives_ and _regulations_ and we _didn't?_ "

"Nope." Christi blew yet another bubble.

"Who else was in on it?" Jak asked after a moment.

"Everyone." Christi smirked as his face burned. "We _all_ loved watching you squirm. From the Captain on down. You knew. Deep down, you knew we hadn't or this wouldn't hurt you so much. But your stiff necked pride kept you from asking. I would have told you if you had asked." She frowned. "I would have."

"Yeah." Jak blew out a deep breath. "Pride goeth, huh?"

"Pilots need to be confident, Jak." Christi said quietly. "You had that in the cockpit. Anywhere else, you just shut down. Oh, you played the asshole fighter jock pretty well on occasion, but most of the time you just shut down and no one could get in."

"I tried, Christi." Jak said weakly.

"No, you didn't." His dead weapon's officer said sharply. Then she made a face and blew another bubble. "Look at me, being all serious. Geez, what have you done to yourself, Boss?"

"Quite a bit, actually." Jak turned to stare out the cockpit canopy. "It wasn't Lara's fault. I would do the same again. Innocents were in danger, I had to act. Come hell or high water, I had to act." He said slowly, but firmly.

" _There_ is the Walrus I knew." Christi smiled as he glared at her. "With all due respect, sir: Get off your ass."

"What?" Jak asked, confused by this sudden change.

"I am your memories given form by your friends, Boss." Christi said in a tone that Jak remembered well. The 'something is gonna get hurt' tone. "How long are you gonna hurt that girl?"

"Christi, I..." Jak tried, but she was having none of it.

"One. She is not a kid." Christi's tone was one step removed from savage. "Two. She loves you. Three. You _need_ her. You and she are linked, Boss. Linked on a level that any human can only dream of. You are not human anymore, Jak. Stop thinking human. Get off your ass, man." She blew another bubble. "Do I need to get the Sarge up here to talk to you?" She smirked as Jak froze. "I can."

"You _would_." Jak shivered slightly. Sergeant First Class Diana Princeson had been a no nonsense, hard as nails career NCO. Only people with a death wish got in her way. He had seen her more than once rip an errant officer apart verbally, while maintaining a perfectly respectful tone. He had also seen her rip an enemy apart with her bare hands once. It had been memorable. What she could do with a knife was unspeakable.

"Damn right I would,:" Christi said sharply. She smiled at Jak and blew out another bubble. "What the hell are you _worried_ about? It isn't like you are gonna… hurt..." She paused and stared at Jak. He could not meet her eyes. "Oh no. No… No!" Her tone was somewhere between sick and awed. "You…" Her tone turned wicked. " _No!_ _ **Jak**_ _!_ "

"Zap, don't." Jak pleaded.

"You _never_ did." Christi sounded dumbstruck now. "How the _hell_ did you manage _that_? I know what they do in Basic. Everyone goes through class 134. Everyone."

Alliance Basic training was comprehensive in _many_ ways. Sex had been used to distract soldiers since time immemorial. So, the Alliance took sex ed to a whole new level. Classes _and_ practical exams included.

"Told them I was gay and when the guy came in, we talked." Jak said in a monotone. "Nothing more. Wasn't ready and he knew it. There was a form. I filled it out. We… I..." He broke off, very embarrassed.

"Holy shit, boss." For once, Christi sounded subdued. "And when I tricked you..."

"I didn't remember." Jak said weakly. "I didn't know. If I had or not. I… I had to..."

"Fu-" Christi broke off what she was going to say and wilted a little. "Shit, boss. I didn't know. I am sorry."

"That isn't on you." Jak bowed his head. "That is on me. I couldn't open up. Not then. I… just couldn't."

"Why not?" Christi's tone was suddenly soft and kind.

"I SAW IT EVERY DAY ON THE STREETS, CHRISTI!" Jak screamed. "I COULDN'T DO THAT TO A GIRL! I SAW IT HAPPEN TO FRIENDS AND STRANGERS! I WON'T! NOT ME!" He clamped his mouth shut and there was utter silence in wherever he was.

"Jak." That wasn't Christi's voice, but he would not look up. He wouldn't. Her hand touched his cheek and stroked it. "Oh Jak."

He couldn't speak as Lara embraced him.

"I didn't understand." Lara said sadly. "I thought it was me. My age. My pain. What I did to you. I never thought it was you. I am sorry." She hugged him.

"Lara, no." Jak pleaded.

"Jak. Enough." Lara's tone in this odd place, wherever it was, turned stern. "You have your specialty, I have mine." She just held him gently as he cried. "Do you trust me?"

"I..." Jak slumped in her arms. "Yes." Lara gave him a squeeze and he relaxed a little. "I don't know what to do. I..."

"I do." Lara had a smile in her voice now. "We are getting the room ready. We don't need or want an audience for this. The rachni helped. Illia helped. The geth helped. But none of us understood, Jak."

"Rachni." Jak said weakly. "Hard to believe. And not hostile."

"Yeah." Lara shivered and his arms came up to hold her. She wasn't wearing anything. "I talked with them a bit while we were waiting for you to wake. A corporation called Binary Helix found an ancient wreck from the Rachni War. On it, they found an viable egg."

"And they didn't announce that." Jak said slowly. "Oh don't _tell_ me..." He groaned.

"Yeah." Lara was sad now. "They wanted to make weapons out of the rachni. It backfired badly, got a bunch of people killed. Shepherd actually got involved."

"Shepherd?" Jak mused. "Wow, that woman is everywhere."

"Jealous?" Lara teased Jak gently.

"Maybe a bit." Jak admitted. "Lara… I... I can't."

"Jak, you are physically capable." Lara said quietly. "All that is holding you up is your psychological trauma. Some of which you did yourself. Why didn't you tell me?" She begged as she hugged him again. "I could have helped. I understand. Jak. I was… I hadn't..."She swallowed hard. "Not until the slaver doc. But I got better. They… They used me, but I got better."

"Oh Lara." Jak held her as she shivered. "You were hurting. I mean, the first time I saw you, in the facility, you were a half starved wreck. Wait..." He paused. " _Why_ were you starved?"

"I um..." Lara tensed, but then relaxed. "I stole Zumin's backup shuttle. It had water aplently for one person, but it only had dextro food aboard. I couldn't eat any of it." Jak looked at her and her face was closed. "I tried a little bit of it one day and it made me violently ill. It was a long flight to Arcturus."

"You flew with no food from the _Veil_ to _Arcturus_ in a _shuttle_?" Jak demanded, horrified. "Lara!"

"It was only a couple of weeks. I slept a lot, all right?" Lara said sharply and then slumped. "Yeah, it was dumb, but I had no idea where else to go. When the Alliance interrogated me, I told them that I stole the shuttle from slavers who had stolen it from somewhere else. I think they believed me."

"You can be pretty convincing." Jak said with a chuckle. "But if your first experience was..." He trailed off as she glared at him. "Lara." He groaned.

" _Who_ is the medic here?" Lara asked with just a hint of ice in her tone. Jak just looked at her and she winced. "I am not over it. But I talked with a lot of therapists on the way to the facility where you were. I had to fake a serious case or they would have shuffled me off to a lesser facility. It wasn't easy and I am still not sure I fooled them all. Illia muddled my trail nicely but… I did leave tracks. I have problems. _This_ is not one of them." She hugged him again. "Jak, we both need this. You more than me, it seems."

"The images. Christi… I..." Jak looked away from Lara and he was not surprised to find that what he had been sitting in was gone. Now, he and Lara sat on a featureless green plain.

"You needed to hear that. It was all your subconscious. You needed to get past it yourself. You did." Lara snuggled close to Jak. He was very careful where he put his hands and she smiled at him. "So careful, are we?"

"Lara, please." Jak pleaded.

"No." Lara said softly as she guided his hands elsewhere. "You have your skills, I have mine. You need help, Jak. You need to let yourself heal as much as you can. We cannot stay with the geth. I was nodding off. Did they tell you about the Reapers?"

"Yes." Jak said quietly. "Boggles the mind."

"Yeah." Lara guided Jak's hands and when he would have snatched them away, she held them tight. "No, no. Let Momma Lara guide you, boy."

"I think you are going a little overboard wit this, Lara." Jak frowned as Lara shook her head. "I mean, this is what Cerberus wanted. That cannot be good."

"They wanted scans of what I can do." Lara's face held trepidation now. "I don't know what they got, but I knocked a bunch of them out and the geth dropped more than a few surprises when they hit the ship."

"And hurt yourself in the process." Jak slumped a little and then jerked as Lara tickled him. "Hey!"

"What they did is on them, Jak." Lara smiled as he batted at her hands. "I wouldn't want to do it again, and I certainly do not want to hurt you again but for you?" She kissed his jaw gently. 'I would do that and more."

"Do you have any idea what they wanted?" Jak pressed. "I cannot have simply been scanning you and me."

"They thought I was deaf as well as mute." Lara said with a grunt. "But they were not stupid either. I didn't hear anything about what they wanted. I know what I wanted thought." She looked away, but tears were falling now.

"Lara." Jak said weakly.

"You were _gone_ and I had nothing left from you." Lara sounded devastated now. 'Only my memories and those were faulty with the shock of the disconnect. It was wrong of me to press you as hard as I did, but I wanted something more. Something tangible."

"Lara." Jak held her as she cried softly.

"Was it so wrong for me to want a child of your body?" Lara demanded angrily through her tears. "I know you don't love me, but..." She wilted, her sudden flash of anger vanishing as swiftly as it had appeared. "Was it so wrong?"

"I do not love you that way, Lara." Jak tried to push her away, but it did no good.. "I do not know if I _can_ , as messed up as I am."

"I know." Lara snuggled closer to him. "Maybe we can find a way. We can worry about that later. Right now, we need to focus on you. Getting you relaxed will help with your healing. And yes, I will use protection."

"Lara..." Jak groaned.

The world shifted an Jak was back on the bed. The room was empty now. The chairs were pushed against one wall and the wall that had shown the rachni was blank again. Jak tensed as Lara's hands found the seams of his clothing.

"Lara." Jak begged.

 _No words now._ Lara's non-verbal communication came through loud and clear. As did her emotions, a mix of anticipation and other things. _You need this._

 _Of my own free will, I am offering._

With that, she slid out of her own clothing like a greased eel.


	12. Chapter 12

**Machines**

Jak sighed softly as he lay, Lara's head pillowed on his arm. She had finally gotten what she wanted and from her sated expression as she slept, it had been everything she had wanted. Jak felt numb.

The act had been pleasurable enough. For all of her apparent youth, Lara was not a novice at such things. His mind shied away from the implications of how a young girl on a slaver ship would get such experience. She was coping with her memories. Was he?

Jak had gone through hell. His small team had died holding the slavers away from a school that held women and children. They had known it was going to be bad as soon as they picked up the distress call from the isolated outpost on Tiptree but no one had counted on so many slavers. Six Alliance marines versus almost a hundred slavers with a building to defend? They had left a large pile of slaver bodies, but one by one, they had fallen., The slaver had brought their own Mantis gunships -two of them- and Jak had played a deadly game of cat and mouse with those, drawing them away from the colony. He had finally slammed the last to earth just in time to receive the last com from his team.

Specialist Horst had been a good marine. She hadn't been infantry originally. She had been a tech but when she had been assigned to the team she had learned just as fast as any that there were two kinds in fights that the team got into, the living and the dead. She had become a hell of a shot and a hell of a friend. Her com played in his memory just as it had in his cockpit.

'Sarge is down. They are breaking down the door! Walrus, we tried-' It cut out suddenly and he knew why. He had always known when such happened that a friend had just died. He had been so angry.

Why wasn't he angry now? He should be. Every time he remembered Horst's last transmission, he had been furious. But now? He stared down at Lara and shuddered. Had she done something? Had the geth? The rachni? Or was this on him?

He sighed again, deeply and then jerked as a door opened on the wall. He expected Illia or a geth to walk in, but instead, something small and round rolled in. He didn't recognize it, but it had to be some kind of grenade. He threw himself over Lara just as it went off, deafening him and blinding him even with his eyes tightly shut. Some kind of flashbang grenade! There was a screeling across his mind as well, static?

"No!" Jak screamed as three fingered hands grabbed him. He fought and something hit him, throwing him straight into darkness.

* * *

Some time later

Jak swam back to consciousness with a grunt. He jerked as memory flooded in, but did not move otherwise. He peered around through slitted eyes and the room was small and bare. It did not seem to have any furniture at all, but he wasn't lying on bare floor. He touched the floor beside him. Under his fingers, he felt woven cloth. A blanket? He was alone in the room. He was wearing an outfit that covered him for modesty purposes, but no more. He was unarmed but not restrained. Odd.

Someone had snatched him. Cerberus? That sort of made sense, but they usually used tech he could recognize. That grenade hadn't been anything human made that Jak knew of. Flashbangs were pretty common, but also fairly easy to recognize. Add the static that he had felt scouring his mind? No. Not human. What he was wearing did not look like human clothing. It wasn't a patient gown either. So he wasn't back in the loony bin.

Jak slowly sat up and winced as his head hurt. A quick hand found a medigel application at the back of his head. Right. He had been hit when he had struggled. He had seen his team do the same, for slavers they 'acquired for interrogation. Not enough to do permanent harm, just enough to knock them out. That took skill. Despite what holo vid entertainment said, a blow to the head was dangerous, almost certain to cause some kind of harm. He prayed that whoever had him hadn't hurt Lara. Nothing he could do about that. However…

He tried to call out to Lara on the odd wavelength they shared, but a hiss of static inside his head made him wince.

"Ah, you are awake." A cool female voice sounded from somewhere. The voice was pleasant enough, but the interest was in it was cool and clinical. Jak looked around, but could not see anything. "Good morning, Lieutenant Collains."

"Is it?" Jak asked quietly.

"It is morning." The other seemed unperturbed by Jak's lack of civility. "Your breakfast will be in shortly. I suggest you eat. You have a long day ahead." Not ominous at all, that.

"Do I?" Jak said into the silence that fell.

"There is no need to be rude." The other sounded snippy now. "We will not be uncivilized about this. We have questions. You have answers."

"Yeah." Jak said softly. "Quarians _never_ act uncivilized, do they?"

"We need to know what the geth did to you, Lieutenant." The other neither confirmed nor denied his stab in the dark. But he remembered three fingers on the hands that had grabbed him. "You will not be harmed."

"Yeah." Jak muttered as he lay back down, mind whirling. "That is what _Cerberus_ said too."

There was no reply and Jak sank back onto whatever he had been lying on. He was jerked out a doze by an irate voice.

"This is _barbaric!_ " Another female, an angry one. Jak stared as a hidden door opened on one wall and a quarian stepped in She held a tray in her hands and was all but dancing in fury as the door closed behind her. She tapped it and her omni tool lit up. She grunted and then her tool vanished. "Lieutenant Collains?" She asked as she bent down and laid the tray on the floor. "My name is Elan'Shiya. I am supposed to help you." She did not sound happy about that.

"With?" Jak asked, not moving.

"Admiral Daro'Xen has...overstepped." The quarian said slowly. "Initiating action against a geth ship without conferring with the Fleet was an act that borders treason. But we did rescue you."

"Did you?" Jak's tone hadn't wavered. It was flat, emotionless.

"You are organic." The other said quietly. "They would have killed you."

"Yeah, the only communication between organics and synthetics is violence." Jak retorted. "You quarians know that better than many." His sarcasm was lost on the quarian. She seemed to relax.

"We do." The quarian said softly. "But I am to help you. Admiral Shala'Raan is on her way. She said she will contact the Alliance, see what they can do."

"And if I do not _want_ your help?" Jak was still calm. Odd that. He should be furious at this. The quarian froze and seemed to be holding her breath. "Get out."

"Lieutenant Collains, please." The quarian raised her hands as if in supplication. "The geth did something to you. We need to figure it out."

"Get. Out." Jak did not move, but every muscle was slowly tensing. The quarian retreated a step back tot he wall. The door did not open. "Now."

"I cannot." Elan'Shiya retreated until she was as far from Jak as she could get and then slowly sank to the floor. "Until Shala'Raan arrives and countermands Daro'Xen's orders, I am stuck with you. And you with me. I scrambled the door. It will take them a while to break through my encryption. Even Daro'Xen will take time to do so."

"You locked yourself in a room with a madman." Jak shook his head. "That is bravery or insanity. Not sure which. Thin line there."

"As long as I am in here, you cannot be gassed or scanned as hard as Daro'Xen wants." The quarian explained. "If she hurts you, even accidentally, it will have drastic repercussions with our relations with the Alliance."

"And?" Jak asked as he scrutinized the quarian. "What do you want?"

"I want to help the girl who was with you." Elan'Shiya said quietly. Jak recoiled as if struck. "She refuses to speak with us."

"I wonder _why_." Jak snarked. "Having someone abducted is a _wonderful_ way to introduce yourselves and prove trustworthiness."

"We _rescued_ you!" Elan'Shiya did not -quite- growl that.

"Did she or I _ask_ for your help?" Jak demanded. "No. You just acted. Oh well. If a couple of humans get fried in the perpetual war between quarians and geth, so be it. We do not matter as long as you get what you want." Elan'Shiya recoiled at the vehemence in his voice. "You have no idea what you have done. What you just unleashed." That wasn't Jak. He was stuck here, but… something wafted through him. He wasn't alone.

"No." Elan'Shiya said slowly. "No, we don't. And we need to. Please, lieutenant. Talk to me. We need to know what the geth did." Jak looked at her and then with a sour grunt, lay back on the floor and closed his eyes.

"The geth. Always it is the geth. Whatever. Bring on the scanners, the torturers, the whatever the fuck you quarians use." Jak said with a snarl. "I won't help you willingly."

"This… this isn't new." Elan'Shiya sounded stunned. "This isn't about the… The abduction." She admitted. "We have never met you before. What have the quarian people done to you to incur such hate?"

"Shut up, Elan'Shiya." The voice of what had to be Daro'Xen sounded from the hidden speaker. "He looks down on us like all of the others. Just like all the others. We are refugees who brought it on ourselves." Jak did not react to the admiral's words. "Well, if _you_ will not be reasonable, maybe the girl will."

Elan'Shiya started to speak, but froze as Jak was suddenly on his feet. When he spoke, it was as if the room was suddenly several degrees colder. The rage that sang though him was ice cold. He stiffened. It wasn't just _his_ anger! He wasn't alone in his mind. It wasn't like before, but he wasn't. He took comfort from that even as the rage sang through his words like music.

"Touch her and I will kill you." Jak's voice held no emotion whatsoever. "Then I will find your family and kill them. Then I will find your friends and kill them. Then I will find your coworkers, your colleagues, everyone who you have ever infected with your blind stupidity about the geth and I will kill _them_. You have no _idea_ what you have done." He fought the rage that surfaced back down. It was hard. Then it was gone and something comforted him again.

There was no reply from the admiral.

"Why do you hate us so much?" Elan'Shiya begged. "What have we done to you?" She repeated and then paused. "Before." Jak looked at her, she was wringing her hands in worry. For him?

"Why would you care?" Jak asked as he sat back down. "Kill the geth, destroy the geth, obliterate the geth, neutralize the geth. It is all you know. All you _will_ know. All you care about. There is no room in your minds for _anything_ else. You lost your world. I get it. Nothing else matters but getting it back. Lives do not matter. _Souls_ do not matter. So, go ahead, try to do what Cerberus did. Try and destroy mine."

"Cerberus." If Elan'Shiya was faking the anger in her tone, she was a very good actress. "They hurt you?"

"What does it matter?" Jak asked snidely. " _Kill the geth!_ " He shouted at the ceiling. She did not react to his shout.

"It matters to me." The quarian said quietly. "They hurt us too, killed many of our people. We remember."

"You quarians remember what you _want_ to remember. Everything else can go fly a kite." Jak snapped and then shut his mouth with a click.

"Why do you hate us so much?" Elan'Shiya was calmer now, her tone careful. "What did we do to you? This last thing? Yes. I understand your anger. They tore you from your friend. Brought you here against your will. But this is old anger. Not new."

Jak ignored her, staring up at the ceiling. He was trying to find that feeling that he had felt. The feeling of comfort from outside. It didn't feel mechanical. It hadn't felt like the geth. No, it had felt like… Like _Illia!_ Uh oh! He stiffened even as Elan'Shiya tried again.

"Whatever we did, we can try to understand." The quarian said sadly. "Maybe we cannot fix it, but we can try."

"Where is Lara?" Jak demanded, not moving.

"She is in intensive care." Elan'Shiya bowed her head. "Whatever the geth did her, hurt her very badly."

"And the _grenade_ you people used on us had _nothing_ to do with that." Jak snarled and then he screamed as pure white hot agony tore through his skull. He convulsed and was barely aware as Elan'Shiya took hold of him, trying to help.

"Whatever you are doing, Admiral Daro'Xen, STOP!" The quarian yelled at the ceiling. "You are hurting _him_ too!"

Jak could only writhe as spike after spike tore through his skull. He could feel Lara's matching pain and pulled as much of it into himself as he could. How did he do that? He didn't know how to do that, did he?

" _This is treason, Admiral!_ " The quarian holding Jak screamed. "You are torturing him and her! That is against our laws and the Council's."

"Hush, girl." The admiral snapped right back. "We need to know what the geth did to them. Neither of them will not be permanently damaged."

"And that makes it _right_?" Elan'Shiya all but snarled as Jak suddenly fell still. " _He is not a geth!_ "

"She does not care." That wasn't Jak speaking, but it was his mouth that opened, his voice. "I am just another machine, one she can disassemble and tinker with to her heart's content. I have no soul." That was him but not just him. "And Lara… She is hurting Lara." He was crying now and Elan'Shiya held him.

"I am sorry." The quarian said weakly. "I am sorry. I thought I could hold her off until Shala'Raan got here. Get her to stop."

"That type of person won't stop." Jak said sadly. "They have to _be_ stopped." Again, that wasn't just _his_ voice. "A human named Nietzsche put it well, the end justifies the means."

"It shouldn't." Elan'Shiya said sadly as she laid Jak back down. "If we forget why the geth rebelled, then we are no better than machines ourselves. Programmed to obey. We are not. We are people. Why do you hate us?" She pleaded. "Obviously, we earned your hate, but why? What did we do?"

"You, personally did nothing and the ones responsible are all likely dead by now." Jak tried to get up, to shove her away. He couldn't. "I had a friend who was quarian. He… left the fleet. You blinded him and he left."

"What?" Elan'Shiya sounded confused now. "Why would..." She paused and then hissed. "No. No. You didn't know Zumin! You couldn't have. He was gone long before either of us were _born_." Jak did not reply and the quarian touched his arm. "Did you?"

Whatever Jak was going to say was cut off by another missile of pure pain shot through his brain. Dimly, he was aware of the quarian gathering him up, holding him as he screamed and cried when the pain ebbed enough. He was aware that she too was crying but he couldn't do anything but writhe in agony.

It might have been seconds, hours or days before the pain cut off and Jak could do nothing but sob in Elan'Shiya's arms.

"Stupid boshtet." Elan'Shiya snapped as she tried to soothe Jak and failed. Something else rubbed his mind and he felt a little better. "Stop, Admiral! You are killing them _both_!"

"We are almost done." Daro'Xen sounded a little irritated now. "Your silliness is getting tiring, Elan'Shiya. When my scans are done, we will let you medics have them both and you can take the implants out so we can..." She broke off suddenly and alert klaxons started blaring.

"Too late." Jak breathed through remembered horror. "Now you have done it. You have hurt her. I can't stop them." That wasn't his voice even if it was coming through his mouth.

"What the hell?" Elan'Shiya dropped Jak and retreated, tripping over the forgotten tray.

"Hell indeed, Elan'Shiya vas Rayya." Jak didn't know where this odd stuff was coming from. He didn't know her full name. "Your admiral just stepped in it. She just started a war. And _not_ with the geth."

 _Illia, no…_ Jak begged and a feeling for comfort seeped through him.

The door slammed open and two armed quarians stood just outside. Another in a dark envirosuit strode in and grabbed Elan'Shiya by the arm. Elan'Shiya struggled, but the other female quarian seemed to be far stronger. Both started speaking. Both were cut off by a new voice.

"Haven't you done _enough_ , Daro'Xen?" A commanding voice sounded and another quarian female strode in, her posture angry. This one's envirosuit was lighter, but her posture was furious. "Let. Her. Go." No one moved and the newest come quarians all but snarled. " _Now_." The dark suited quarian stepped back.

"Admiral Shala'Raan vas Tonbey." Jak felt his lips move and everyone was suddenly staring at him. "You did not agree to this?"

"No." The other said sternly. "I found out what Daro'Xen did when Elan'Shiya contacted me. I came as soon as I could. Please… We can fix this."

" _Can you?_ " That voice wasn't Jak's and it came from outside. Jak stared as the armed quarians spun, but froze. What greeted Jak's eyes as he looked down the hall outside was a horror. Illia stood a short distance down the corridor. She was unarmed. She didn't _need_ to be. She was _furious_ and dark energy swirled around her, moving here and there in her agitation.

The _six_ rachni warriors that flanked her were even _angrier_.


	13. Chapter 13

**Nevermore**

"Who are you and what are you doing on my ship?" Admiral Daro'Xen started. "Guards!"

The two armed quarians started to raise their rifles, but froze as the rachni moved. Suddenly, the quarians had no shot at Ilia and all the rachni had appendages out and ready to do...whatever they did. Jak didn't think those claws would _tickle_. But if Illia was _half_ the biotic he thought she was, none of the quarians present had a _chance_. Most biotics that Jak had known were fairly laid back and didn't go for ostentatious displays of power. Illia had seemed the same way. So if the swirling blue field of energy that surrounded her was simply a _minor_ leakage past her control? Oh dear. She incredibly powerful _and_ pissed. No armor, no weapons, but she was likely the most dangerous being in the hall. Maybe on the _ship_.

"They move, they die." Illia said in a silky soft tone. "You have started a war, Daro'Xen. One you will _lose._ "

"I have two hundred marines on this ship!" Daro'Xen blustered.

" _So_?" Illia smiled but there was no humor in it. "Maybe I should send half of my friends home or they might get bored." She raised a hand and one of the marines who had been surreptitiously raising his rifle froze in place, surrounded by blue energy. "You people don't learn, do you? No wonder they asked _me_ to come. I at least know how to practice a _little_ restraint when _idiots_ point guns at me. Jak? You coherent?"

"They hurt Lara." Jak said weakly. Elan'Shiya had frozen at his side. When had she come back?

"I know." Illia did not take her eyes off the other quarians who hadn't moved. "We all felt it. The queen is angry. Everyone is. I have got a team recovering her. They will try not to kill anyone. I don't imagine that these fools will let it happen though. The breakage is on _them_ , not you or us."

"Do you know who I am?" Daro'Xen blustered.

"Yes." Illia shrugged. "Ask me if I _care_." Daro'Xen inhaled as if to retort, but the other admiral had heard enough.

"Xen, shut up!" Shala'Raan said savagely. "She is in the _middle_ of your ship! None of your vaunted technology warned us she was here. Do you _really_ want to start a fight here and now, surrounded by your people _and_ your toys? Just looking at her, she is asari and _not_ young. If she is _half_ the biotic I think she is, she can take _all_ of us here by _herself_ , not even counting her allies." Jak quirked a brow at that, she was mimicking his thoughts from earlier. Maybe she had a working brain. "Shut up. You have done _enough!_ " Daro'Xen started to speak and the lighter suited Admiral actually _hit_ her. The crack of the armored glove against the visor was loud in the confined space. "Are you a _complete_ idiot? Shut it before I have you muted!"

"Apparently she does want a fight." Illia said quietly. "That doesn't say great things for her level of intelligence, Admiral Shala'Raan. The question is, what do _you_ want?"

"You have me, us, at a disadvantage." Shala'Raan said slowly.

"More than you know." Illia replied evenly. "We were infiltrating quietly before she hurt Jak and Lara. The idea was to sneak in, get them and get out. No one hurt, no traces. Her hurting Lara changed that. We are not sneaking anymore. This ship's coms are shut down. Internal and external. Sensors too. The crew on this ship are isolated from each other and will be easy prey. You have already given us reason. Why _shouldn't_ we simply slaughter every last one of you quarians aboard?"

"You don't want to." Shala'Raan said slowly. "Or you would have already." Illia inclined her head slightly to the admiral and Shala'Raan nodded." What do you want?"

"We are taking Jak and Lara." Illia said quietly. "You are not going to stop us."

"No!" Daro'Xen rose, her hand going to her pistol. Then she was floating in midair, surrounded by blue energy.

"You kidnapped these two humans." Illia had her hand up, her fingers outspread. "Cerberus did the same thing. Funny thing… Cerberus didn't hurt them _nearly_ as badly as _you_ just did, Admiral Daro'Xen. So I really do not _care_ what you want or think." She nodded and two of the rachni started forward.

The marine who was free and Shala'Raan both shied away as the aliens walked between them, ignoring the frozen quarians to stand by Jak. Elan'Shiya held him and they looked at her.

"Moving him may hurt him." The quarian said quietly. "We have done enough to him."

"We are not leaving him or Lara here." Illia might have been discussing the weather now. "Not a chance."

"Elan, don't be stupid." Shala'Raan said slowly and carefully, not moving. "They have us at a _serious_ disadvantage. Whatever these things are..." She broke off as Illia cleared her throat.

"They are _rachni_ , not _things_." Illia snapped. At that, the tension in the room seemed to climb out of sight. "And those two humans are friends of the hive. Friends your people just _tortured_."

"Keala." Shala'Raan stammered.

Anyone who had any inkling about galactic history remembered the rachni wars. It had taken the krogan coming into the wars before anyone had even had a chance against the swarms of bugs that had overrun world after world. Of course, that had caused its own problems, but rachni were _not_ a lightweight threat.

"What were they doing on a geth ship?" Elan'Shiya asked and then shook herself. "Never mind. Not our business, I bet you won't answer." Illia just looked at her. "Moving Lara may kill her. Moving Jak will likely hurt him." She made a noise of consternation. "I can't let you hurt him. Not after what we did."

"You tried to help." Illia said softly. "We felt you through Jak. Thank you for that. But we cannot trust you. Move." Elan'Shiya did not and one of the rachni shoved her aside easily, sliding both whip like appendages underneath Jak and lifting him.

Something seemed to plunge directly into his right ear and the last thing Jak heard before passing out was his own scream off pain.

* * *

"No! Don't move him!" Elan'Shiya's voice was tense and angry as Jak roused to something touching his skull. He was on the floor again, held there. He tried to bat whatever was holding him away, but he couldn't move. "You saw what happened. The feedback through his cochlea is too much. It will hurt him worse if you try again."

"And if we leave him here, your _noble admiral_ hurts him again." Illia's tone was pure frost. "Not a _chance_."

"No, she won't." Shala'Raan was calm, but it was a brittle calm. "If I have my way, she won't be an admiral for very long either."

"Come off it, admiral Shala'Raan." Illia snapped right back. "If she had found a miracle weapon against the geth in Lara's head, _you_ would be shooting at us right now."

How long had Jak been out? He was so weak. Nothing hurt, but he was so weak.

"Maybe, but she didn't." The quarian admiral replied. "Instead, she provoked a diplomatic incident with your people and possibly the Alliance as well."

"We are not leaving him here. End of story." Illia said flatly. Jak could feel things under him again, lifting. He braced himself but hands touched him, holding him to the floor.

"His inner ears are all messed up from the energy that flowed through them." Elan'Shiya said fervently. "Moving him may hurt or kill him. Is that what you want? Yes, we messed up, but I can help!"

"Elan'Shiya, no!" Shala'Raan said quickly, but the other female quarian was speaking again.

"We cannot trust you." Illia said flatly. "Move. Now."

"Would you trust someone _else_?" Elan'Shiya asked. "Someone neutral?"

"I don't see anyone neutral here." Illia replied evenly. "Daro'Xen and her people are hardly neutral. You and Shala'Raan may be, but I cannot know that and every moment I am here, my friends are at risk. Yes, I know your fleet will be trying to break the coms blackout. I know they will be sending ships filled with marines any minute. At which point, this turns into a blood bath."

"Which none of us _want_!" Shala'Raan said savagely. "Elan'Shiya… Let him go!"

"Admiral..." A gentle hand touched Jak's forehead and stroked it. "They know what happened to Zumin." An inhalation sounded and there was utter silence. "I… We need to know."

"You cannot go, Elan!" Shala'Raan said slowly. "You have many patients that need you. Veetor and others. We need you."

Jak managed to open his eyes. He lay on the floor of his cell, a small pile of bloody vomit beside his head. Elan'Shiya knelt beside him, two rachni around her. Daro'Xen still floated in midair, held there by biotics, but both marines stood by one wall with Shala'Raan, their weapons down. Illia stood by the door, two rachni flanking her. Where were the other two?

"Back with us, Jak?" Illia asked. Jak tried to nod, but Elan'Shiya held his head down.

"Do not move." The quarian warned. "I don't have complete files on humans, but what I have is clear. Whatever happened to you hurt the inside of your head. I cannot detect any brain damage, but your inner ears are a mess. Your sense of balance is all messed up. That should heal, given time, but you will have problems until then."

"Lara?" Jak managed. Illia nodded to him.

"She is clear and safe, for now." Illia reassured the man. "She is comatose. Our healers have her. We do not know how badly this moron hurt her. Not yet." She growled at the floating quarian. "But she is alive and safe."

"I am not safe." Jak said quietly. Illia shook her head. "Knock me out?" He pleaded.

"We did. It didn't help. Any time we move you, you scream and vomit." Illia said bluntly. "We do not want to hurt you."

"Leaving me here is not an option, Illia." Jak said slowly." You know what they will do to me."

" _Nothing._ " Elan'Shiya and Shala'Raan chorused. They looked at one another and then at Jak. Shala'Raan broke the silence. "Elan? What can we do? We need to do something to prove our need to fix this."

"Admiral, we _cannot_ move him." Elan'Shiya sounded nearly in tears. "Just getting him onto a gurney would jar his inner ears badly. Anything else might cause terminal damage. We cannot let that happen after what Admiral Daro'Xen did.."

"No, we cannot." Shala'Raan said quietly. "Is there anything we can do?"

"We could try to isolate his head." Elan'Shiya sounded a bit dubious. "If we can encase his skull in a protective device, we may be able to keep his ears from feeling whatever is done. But Admiral, I don't have any of that available."

"Could you do that?" Shala'Raan was watching Illia who hadn't moved. The rachni with her hadn't either. "If you had the gear?"

"I could." Elan'Shiya said slowly. Then she perked up. "Korri could bring it."

"Elan." Shala'Raan shook her head. "The fewer people who know about this, the better. This will all be classified top secret and probably buried for the good of the fleet. As it stands, I have to censure Daro'Xen, take this to the other admirals and _try_ to keep this from spilling over everything. The _last_ thing we need right now is to have division in the fleet after the mess with Tali'Zorah."

"Korri deserves to know." Elan'Shiya said quietly.

"We cannot trust her." Shala'Raan sounded dubious.

"We can trust her to act in a way that hurts us." Elan'Shiya said with a growl worthy of an old Earth grizzly bear.

"Who is Korri?" Jak asked as he focused on breathing.

"Zumin's daughter." Elan'Shiya sounded in tears. Shala'Raan slumped as Jak hissed. Illia did not react.

"Daughter." Jak fought to control the surge of anger, of rage and sorrow that soared through him. A feeling of warmth came from the rachni touching him and he smiled his thanks. "What the _hell_ did you _do_?"

"I wasn't an Admiral then." Shala'Raan said quietly, her tone a mix of sick and sad. "He was brought to the fleet, hurt sorely. The lone survivor of a horrible episode. We tried to help him. We failed. He ran away and we never heard anything more until now."

"You _blinded_ him! What the hell did you _expect_ him to do?" Jak demanded and then sank back with a groaned as his head spun.

"We did." Elan'Shiya's tone was calm, but underneath lay rage. Rage as deep as space itself. "And worse." Jak stared at her and she bowed her head. "My mother was there and to her dying day, she swore that she had tried to help. No one blamed him for being angry. No one."

"What happened?" Illia's tone was oddly gentle.

"I don't know why they were exiled." Elan'Shiya said slowly. "I don't think anyone knows. Or maybe it is secret or something. I don't know. Almost fifty years ago, the fleet found out about a group of quarian exiles who had formed a family, a homestead on a distant planet. We sent a delegation and it all went wrong. Our fault."

"Elan..." Shala'Raan shook her head.

"It was _our_ fault, Admiral!" Elan'Shiya snapped. "I don't care what the official report said! Mom was _there_! What happened is on us!"

"It is." Shala'Raan bowed her head and retreated a step. "The official report was that that found Zumin lying among the remains of his family's homestead after a pirate attack. A lie."

"Sounds like the truth to me." Jak said flatly. Everyone looked at him and he shrugged. Then he winced as Elan'Shiya held his head down. "Bunch of pirates came and tried to steal their belongings. They fought back. Course, they couldn't win."

"From one point of view." Elan'Shiya said weakly. "Yeah. Mom was never the same according to her family. When I went into medicine, she told me the true story. She wanted me to understand the difference between facts and 'politically correct'."

"You were not involved." Jak said quietly.

"No." Elan'Shiya heaved a sigh. "But mom's dishonor haunted us all. She never spoke of it except to me. Because I was going to be working for the Admiralty Board and she wanted me ready for the lies." Shala'Raan winced, but did not comment.

"Sounds like a hell of woman, your mom." Jak quipped. Elan'Shiya stared at him and then she chuckled.

"She was." She caressed Jak's head gently. "Thing was, Zumin was a mess. His hate for us, his _totally justified_ hate for us, was deep seated. We tried everything to help him, to get him past it. To let him heal. The only person who _ever_ got through to him was a female quarian he thought was a nurse named Visha. What he did not know was that she was a security guard, not a nurse."

"Elan!" Shala'Raan said quickly, only to freeze as the rachni with Illia moved, just a little.

"What we did to him was wrong, Admiral." Elan'Shiya said savagely. "What we did to his family was bad, but that?" She shook her head.

"You have to keep track of people who may betray you." Jak said quietly. "Of course, when you betray them _first_ it is okay." He made a face when her hands wouldn't let him shake his head. "I assume she forced intimacy."

"I don't know if it was forced or not." The quarian holding him replied. "What I know is that he vanished one day right off the ship. A shuttle that had been brought from that homestead vanished as well. He had apparently found it and gotten it working despite his handicap. Security was extremely unhappy. Four months later, Visha was admitted to the psychiatric ward my mother helped run on the Rayya. She was pregnant."

"And Korri?" Jak asked.

"Visha did not survive the pregnancy." Elan'Shiya said quietly. "We would have taken Korri in, my family. We owed her father a debt we can never repay. We were _denied_." This last was hard as she glared at Shala'Raan who winced.

"There were reasons." Shala'Raan said weakly.

"Yeah." Elan'Shiya snapped. "Why give a little girl to people who might love her and raise her right when you can give her to people who treat her like vorcha shit?" Jak stared at the medic and Elan'Shiya sighed. "Oh, their _loyalty_ was sure. Their _parenting_? Not so much. Small wonder she rebelled. Call _me_ a traitor every day for the first ten years of my life and I might believe it too. Might act out just to show the people who treat me that way how right they are."

"Ouch." Jak said weakly. "Yeah, I can see that. So, you know her?"

"She is one of my patients." Elan'Shiya said quietly. "I have been treating her and she has been improving. She is a wonder, but so hurt. She has been studying mind healing with me. She is smart. She a good person, she was just… warped from what was done to her."

"I can understand that." Jak looked at Illia who hadn't moved at all. "Illia? Can Lara survive if I… If…" He swallowed as she shook her head.

"No." Illia hadn't moved at all and that was frankly scarier than the rachni beside her. "The link between you will kill her too if you pass. As of now, she is unconscious so we do not know the full extent of the damage. We fear she may not sing again." She bowed her head as Jak inhaled in fear and worry. "That is what angers the rachni the most. Such beautiful songs. Maybe silenced forever and for _what_?"

"If you move me, it may kill me and that will kill Lara." Jak said slowly. "If you leave me here, even if the admiral doesn't hurt me again, it leaves a massive political hot potato in the quarian's lap. Not to mention it won't be very easy to hide your involvement." He stared at the rachni and winced.

"Easier than you might think." Illia shrugged. "But points taken."

"So, we cannot trust them and they cannot let us go." Jak said slowly. He slumped. "Illia..."

"Wait." Shala'Raan said quickly. "What if… it wasn't us? If someone else, someone _truly_ neutral brought a way to get you off the ship? What then?"

"I don't know who that might be." Jak said weakly as fought back nausea.

"I need to make a call." Shala'Raan said quickly. "I don't think they have left yet. I can get them here, they will act as neutral. She will ensure it." Illia stared at the quarian and then her eyes went wide. "Yes, Tali was here. It was a mess, but it worked out."

"Make your call." Illia moved to stand just inside the door. "My friends will vanish, but they will be around. Betray us and this will get very messy, very quickly."

"I know _better_ than to betray _anyone_ around Commander Shepard." Was Raan _chuckling_?

"She has a _very_ loud voice."


	14. Chapter 14

**Timeline wise, this takes place just after Tali's loyalty mission. They have not gone through the Omega 4 relay yet.**

* * *

 **Homes**

"Admiral Shala'Raan."

The cool word brought Jak up from his doze. He jerked, but the scene hadn't changed. Elan'Shiya still knelt beside him, her hands on his forehead. Shala'Raan stood with the two marines. Illia stood near the doorway and Daro'Xen _still_ hung in midair.

"Tali." Shala'Raan's greeting sounded heartfelt, but that paled beside the woman who strode into the room beside the orange and yellow suited quarian. N7 armor was distinctive. Her green eyes lit on Jak through her helmet visor and then on Illia, but she did not speak. Was that a krogan behind them out in the hall? Jak couldn't see clearly. "Thank you for coming."

"I am still not happy with you." The newly come quarian folded her arms, glaring around. "And what the hell is _this_? Your message was incredibly vague, even for _you_."

"It is a mess, Tali." Shala'Raan said with a visible wince. "Admiral Daro'Xen has perpetrated what may very be an act of war."

At that, both the human in N7 armor and the newly come quarian glanced at the floating quarian. Then the human shook her head and looked at Jak.

"What have you done, Admiral?" The woman's words were calm and clear, but underneath there was the hint of barely repressed violence. Jak understood that all too well. He had never worked with an N7, they were understandably rare. But he had worked with lots of others like that if not quite as good. She looked at Illia and then paused. "Illia Jollisa? You are a long way from Illum."

"It has been...interesting." Illia replied evenly. Shepherd glanced from her to the floating quarian and back. "She pissed me off." Not an apology or an excuse. Simple fact.

"She has that effect." Shepherd replied and then nodded to the quarian who had come with her. "Your show, Tali."

"The fact that there is an _unsuited_ human lying on the floor of an isolation cell near a pile of blood and other nastiness may mean it is an Alliance show, Shepherd." Tali said slowly. "What have you _done_ , Shala'Raan?"

"He is clean." Shala'Raan said softly. "Admiral Daro'Xen was thorough. In _that_ at least." She concluded sourly. "She is muted, but otherwise fine. I got tired of her ranting."

"Okay." Tali was obviously losing patience. "What has _Admiral Daro'Xen_ done?" She paused. "Elan'Shiya? What are _you_ doing here?"

"I was trying to help him." Elan'Shiya replied sadly. "I was called in. I was told that the marines under Admiral Daro'Xen's command had recovered two humans from a geth ship and we needed to interrogate them before remanding them to Alliance custody. I didn't know what she intended." She bowed her head. "I realized when I got here that she was doing something very wrong."

"Wait. She got _humans_ from a _geth_ ship?" Tali demanded, incredulous. "That is not _possible_!" She paused and shook her head. She looked at Illia and then at Jak. "You are here for him?" Illia nodded. "Why?"

"Because I can be reasonably diplomatic at times." Butter might not have melted in Illia's mouth. Jak had to laugh at that and Shepherd smothered a chuckle.

"So I see." Tali said dryly as she glanced at the still floating Daro'Xen. She nodded to Jak. "I do not know you. I am Tali'Zorah vas Normandy."

"Vas… _Normandy_?" Jak asked, stunned. No one would meet his eyes except Shepherd and he sighed. "Long story there."

"Unfun story there." Shepherd replied. "Not germane at the moment. Why Tali? Why us?"

"You are neutral in this." Shala'Raan said quietly. "Illia came to rescue Lieutenant Collains here." She broke off as Shepherd inhaled sharply.

"Lieutenant _Jak_ Collains?" Shepherd demanded, hand going to her pistol. "I got a bulletin from Hackett. If _you_ were the ones who kidnapped him from Earth, all hell is going to break loose."

"They didn't do that." Jak said weakly. "Cerberus did that. Got away."

"Cerberus." Shepherd said slowly. "Shit."

"My sentiments exactly." Jak said with a grunt. Elan'Shiya held him down when he tried to sit up. "I am better." He said to her, but she ignored him, holding him to the floor.

"You can do irreparable damage if we let you, so we won't." The quarian medic was firm. "We have done enough."

"Ah..." Tali sounded worried now. "Shepherd?"

"Yeah." The human sighed deeply." I better explain. Lieutenant, Cerberus brought me back from the dead." Jak hadn't know he could get that still. "They wanted me to stop the Collectors. I did and well… The ship I am using was built by them. If we bring you aboard,..." She trailed off as Jak made a face.

"They will likely know where I am." Jak said flatly. Shepherd nodded. "Illia?" Jak asked.

"We can get him to safety." Illia hadn't moved, indeed, hadn't reacted at all to anything. "But we cannot move him as he is. His inner ears were damaged by what the Admiral did to him." Tali and Shepherd made the same kind of noise. A half feral growl. Illia shook her head slowly. "We do not want to fight anyone. We just want to recover Jak and leave."

"You had a message for me from another source." Shepherd said carefully. "Are _they_ involved?" Illia nodded. "Oh."

"We don't want to fight." Illia said quietly. "She said she would vanish and that was and _is_ her plan. She is nowhere near here. I was contacted by a third party and they asked me to help find Jak's companion."

"Human girl named Lara." Shepherd said. Not a question. "So… okay. What do you need from us?"

No further questions. No equivocation. No meandering. Just facts and requirements. Jak liked this woman already.

"We need you to go to the Rayya and get Korri'Zemant nar Rayya to bring an isolation helmet and a set of gear I will specify." Elan'Shiya said quietly. Tali recoiled. "She is better, Tali'Zorah."

"She nearly set the Rayya on _fire_." Tali was not calm at all. Shepherd stared from Tali and Elan'Shiya and back.

"She did not intend that." Elan'Shiya said flatly. "She wanted to _self_ immolate, not kill _everyone_ aboard. She was distraught about what she nearly did."

"And that is _better_?" Tali demanded.

"Yes." Elan'Shiya did not retreat from Tali's ire. "She had a right to her anger. Her grief. And you _know_ it, Tali'Zorah."

"I..." Tali paused whatever she was going to say and sighed. "Yes, I do. She worked hard to atone for what she did." She tilted her head as she looked at Elan'Shiya. "That is not the only reason. You asked for her specifically. Why?"

"That is not my secret to tell, Tali'Zorah." Elan'Shiya said quietly. "We need her here." Tali looked from the medic to Shala'Raan who nodded slightly.

"Shepherd?" Tali asked, still eyeing Elan'Shiya.

"We can do that." Shepherd replied, a bit uneasily. "But is she a danger to _our_ ship?"

"No." Elan'Shiya replied, her tone sad. "You are not quarian. She doesn't hate _anyone_ nearly as much as she hates us."

A profound silence echoed after the quarian's words.

"Do I want to know why?" Shepherd asked after a few tense moments. "Why is she still 'nar Rayya'? Is she younger than you?"

Quarians went on pilgrimage to show they were ready for adulthood. Once that was done, they added a new suffix, 'vas' and a ship name to show their adult status. If this quarian was still a child or considered one...

"She is ten years older than me. She never took a pilgrimage." Tali said softly. "The admirals would not let her. She asked, many times, and they always refused."

"She wouldn't have come _back_ , Tali." Shala'Raan said quietly. "And if she acted as she has outside the fleet as she acted in our care..."

"Our _care_?" Elan'Shiya nearly exploded. "Say the truth. Our custody. Our cage! We never _let_ her grown up because of our shame." Shepherd stared at her and then at Shala'Raan who slumped.

"That sounds like an internal matter for the fleet." Shepherd sounded a bit upset and who could blame her? "Lieutenant Collains is my focus at the moment. If Illia's… um… employers are involved then this can get _very_ messy." She straightened a bit. "Tali? Get to the Rayya. Take Grunt. Bring this Korri person back with whatever the medic here needs. Keep it _quiet_."

"She is not violent." Elan'Shiya said weakly as she keyed her omni-tool. Tali's lit up and she scrutinized it. "She never was. Every time she has hurt people, it has been accidental."

"Not my business." Shepherd said flatly. "Lieutenant Collains is my business at the moment. Hackett was… um… a bit annoyed."

She winced and Jak joined her. The admiral was a fairly even tempered being, but get him mad and things tended to break. Or explode. His soldiers were almost all the same way.

"Not the docs' fault." Jak said slowly. "One of the nurses kidnapped me. Cerberus got to her, took her son and did something to him. Something bad." Shepherd looked at him and shuddered as Tali left the room.

"Lieutenant, Hackett will want a full report." The N7 said with a frown in her tone.

"I...I don't know what I can say." Jak said weakly." I mean… If I put what _actually_ happened, I will go back into the loony bin and they will throw away the _key_."

"Been there, done that." Shepherd chuckled without mirth. "Okay. Leave Illia's friends out of it. What happened?"

"Cerberus took me and Lara." Jak chose his words with care. He didn't think Shepherd would call him on a lie in front of quarians, but he wasn't sure. "Apparently Lara did know me from before. From when I cannot remember." He saw Shepherd's eyes narrow. "What do you know of me, Commander?"

"Hackett sent me a file. You were hurt by slavers after saving an isolated colony on Terra Nova." Commander Shepherd said quietly. "Two years after that colony was rescued, you were found aboard a colony ship that had been taken by mercenaries. Somehow it mis-jumped and wound up in the middle of Arcturus base instead of wherever the hell they were going."

" _Ouch_." Shala'Raan whistled in awe. "How the hell could they do that?"

"No one knows." Shepherd said with a grunt. "The mercs blamed Lieutenant Collains here, but he had severe neural trauma and no one was sure if he would ever wake. When he did, he didn't remember the last two years. Nothing since his capture. A bit convenient, but he didn't do that to himself."

Jak did not speak. He looked at the ceiling and tried to limit his breathing. He didn't know if the quarians could tell if he lied, but hew wouldn't betray the trust the others ha given him. He looked at Illia and she _winked!_ After a moment, Shepherd spoke again.

"Hackett believes the man is a hero." No one interrupted Shepherd. "That somehow he did that. Saved an entire ship full of colonists even with his brain tearing itself apart." She looked at Jak and shook her head. "Seeing the man? I can believe it."

"Commander, I am just a soldier." Jak said weakly.

"Lieutenant..." Shepherd sighed. "Not anymore." Jak went still and Shepherd shook her head. "Hackett couldn't hold the board off any longer. They discharged you. They wanted it dishonorable and _everyone_ fought that. From Hackett on _down_. It is going to Parliament in a few days. They won't buck it. They will give you your pension."

"They..." Jak slumped. "I..."

"Hackett promised it will be an honorable discharge for psychological reasons." Shepherd said flatly. "Stupid bureaucratic bastards will not have the final say! Hackett and others are rallying everyone they can. Anderson too. Now that we know you are alive, the Alliance will close ranks with you. They won't get away with railroading you."

"Commander." Jak said weakly. "I can't serve like this." He raised a hand and Elan'Shiya slapped it back to the floor.

"Don't move!" The quarian snapped.

"I would do what she says, Lieutenant." Shepherd had a grin in her voice now. "Docs get testy when they are ignored."

"Yeah." Even the joking tone couldn't pierce Jak's sudden gloom. "So, I am not Alliance anymore."

"Bullshit." Shepherd snapped and Jak stiffened, only to groan as Elan'Shiya held him down again. "You are _still_ Alliance. Stupid penny pinchers see the military as a pile of money they can siphon off into their own pet projects. Maybe some are worthy, but not all are. If we treat our veterans like garbage, then soon we won't have anyone willing to serve without the government paying through the nose and mercenaries do not make good soldiers. The politicians simply do not understand that no matter how much people like Hackett and Anderson get in their faces. They won't."

"And they won." Jak said quietly. "I mean, I can't fly anymore. Lara did something when we escaped form Cerberus. I could for a little while, but..."

"But it is not something the Alliance can duplicate or use." Shepherd finished for him. "Which is a pity, we will need every edge when the Reapers come." Jak did not react and Shepherd chuckled. "I see you have heard of my own 'delusions'." She made air quotes around that word.

"Seen enough weirdness not to judge, ma'am." Jak allowed. "But if I am not Alliance, what the hell do I do?"

"My advice?" Shepherd looked at Illia. "Talk to Illia's friends. Talk to anyone and everyone you can. Just because the Alliance cannot fix what is wrong with you doesn't mean _no one_ can. Hackett told me you talked to Ryder." At that, Shala'Raan stiffened, but Shepherd ignored her. "He is a stubborn old cuss, but he isn't stupid. If he thinks he might be able to help..." She looked away. "If I had the choice or a family left, I might look for ways out myself."

"Pardon me, Ma'am, but bullshit." Jak replied. "You are not the type to run away from a fight. A tactical retreat? Maybe. Run away? Hell no."

"Pot, meet kettle." Shepherd laughed as Jak did. "Come on, tell me you didn't dig in your heels when they told you the Walrus couldn't fly anymore."

Jak was chuckling and almost missed one of the quarian marines jerking where she stood. All eyes landed on her and she took a step forward, hands out at her sides.

"You are the human they called 'Walrus'?" She asked, awe in her tone. " _Really_?"

"Sergeant, don't..." The other marine groaned. "Keala!"

"That was my call sign." Jak said when no one else spoke. "Why?" He had a sinking feeling though.

"You are the guy who flew under the _bridge_!" The marine nearly gushed. Jak groaned. Her hand went to her side, but she froze when Shala'Raan coughed. Illia was glowing a little brighter. Shepherd had her hand on her pistol. But when the marine's hand slowly came out of her pouch, it held a datapad? "Can I get your autograph?"

"Sergeant!" The other marine exclaimed.

" _Bridge?_ " Illia, Shepherd, Elan'Shiya _and_ Shala'Raan all exclaimed as one. They all stared at Jak who was blushing brightly.

" _This_ I _have_ to hear." Illia was smirking as Jak groaned louder. "Jak?"

Jak shook his head. The asari looked at Shepherd who also shook her head. She looked at the marines. The female one had frozen. The male on had a hand on his visor. A facepalm? Shala'Raan's posture was a mix of amused and concerned.

"Sergeant?" Shala'Raan asked slowly." Is this germane?"

"Sort of. My brother was on pilgrimage. He was there. He watched it happen, Admiral." The marine said quietly. "He collected every scrap of information he could. But all that he really got was the pilot's callsign. _You_ did that? _Twenty_ meters?"

"Thirty." Jak said in a monotone.

"A full _salvo_ at _full throttle_." The marine said fervently.

"Four and… _almost_ full throttle. They exaggerated. They always do." Jak sighed. "Look. I am not supposed to _talk_ about things like that, marine. I cannot confirm or deny I was there."

"If you are the one they called Walrus, then if you _hadn't_ been there, my brother would be dead." The marine said quietly. "So would a lot of civilians."

"Never heard about _this_." Shepherd said softly. "You want to me invoke Specter status and classify this conversation?" She was joking, but not.

"If he can't talk about it, I _can_." The marine said slowly. "Beckenstein. Twelve and half years ago. A group of terrorists had seized a structure filled with tourists. My brother was there, caught in the net. They had anti air weapons, shot down three police vehicles before the police pulled back. They had a solid perimeter and lots of heavier weapons. All were willing to die for their cause. Lots of civvies would have died."

"Wait a minute." Shepherd had stiffened. "Bridge? You don't mean the _Moshawk_ bridge?" She demanded.

"Yes, Ma'am." The marine said with a nod.

Both were staring at Jak in awe. Illia was smirking as he blushed even brighter.

"What?" Shala'Raan and Elan'Shiya both said at the same time.

"Moshawk is a river on Beckenstein. A fairly shallow river. The terrorists had a perimeter and were setting up heavier weapons when an Alliance gunship flew _under_ their perimeter, took out their anti-air, hovered into the _middle_ of their encampment and blew them _all_ to hell." Shepherd said flatly. "There were _four_ survivors among the terrorists. All critically wounded. Not a _single_ civilian was as much as _scratched_. Then the gunship flew back _out_ the way he had come _in_ and disappeared. To get in past the defenses, he had to be moving at nearly full speed less than five meters off the ground. Most pilots say that is impossible. Later, when the authorities had sorted out the mess, they determined that the passage underneath an industrial bridge that gunship _had_ to have flown through to get in and out was twenty meters _high_ and ten meters _wide_."

"Thirty and fifteen." Jak said in a monotone. "The newsies exaggerated."

"How wide is a gunship?" Shala'Raan asked, bemused.

"Seven and half meters with the engine pods fully extended." Jak said with a sigh. Shala'Raan was obviously goggling at him now. Shepherd was shaking her head. Illia just smiled. "Look, I can neither confirm nor deny I was there."

"No." The marine with the pad said quietly. "But the tusks on either side of the cockpit were distinctive. He looked for other Walrus sightings and found a few." She held out the pad. "Please?"

"The Alliance may not be your home anymore, Lieutenant." Shepherd said as Jak gave in and wrote something quick. "Glad you made it. Walrus' wasn't very original, but it was heartfelt. "But you are going to do just fine in whatever you do now if you can pull things like _that_ off. That wasn't just skill, that was _balls_."

"The Alliance was all I knew, Ma'am." Jak said weakly. He smiled at the quarian marine as she took the pad back and nodded to him. "Please don't bandy that about. The work is still secret and will be for a while. Not that I was there."

"Course not. I won't tell him where it came from and it won't leave our family." The marine promised. "I wanted to thank you. He is an insufferable jerk at times, but he _is_ my brother."

"Can't pick your-" Jak went still as something pinged his senses. Songs, but not like Lara's or the rachni's. Illia had frozen as well. The tunes were sad. Sad and angry. He went totally still as Tali'Zorah led another quarian into the room. "-family."

The songs were coming from _her!_


	15. Chapter 15

**Hedging**

Jak stared at the newest quarian and then at Illia who nodded slightly. It wasn't just him.

"Elan'Shiya? The material you asked for is here." Her tone, oh my god! Her tone… Jak had heard it so many times while he had been in the asylums. She had given up.

The quarian did not look up. Indeed, her posture was one step away from beaten! Jak bristled at that and he could see Illia tense as well. Elan'Shiya held him down and her fingers squeezed gently. A warning? A request? Hard to say.

"Ah, Korri." Elan'Shiya sounded grateful and the newly come quarian relaxed a little. "Thank you for coming so quickly. I hope security didn't give you any trouble."

At that, Jak tensed even further. He stared at Korri and his heart went totally still as he saw bracelets on her wrists that did not look decorative. He couldn't see her ankles, but there was something around her neck that the other quarians did not have on their suits as well. His blood started to boil. He saw Shepherd's eyes light on the odd decorations as well and her posture was tense as well.

"No, Ma'am." The quarian said softly. "I should… get back."

"Wait." Shala'Raan spoke up. "Korri, you may be needed here. We have an emergency case and I know you have studied non-quarian physiology."

"Not much else to do but study, Admiral." Korri's tone was perfectly respectful, but the songs that rang thought her mind rang with hate, fear and despair. She looked at Jak and he forced a smile. "A… a human?" Her tone turned odd, confused.

 _Can you hear me? If so, do not answer aloud._ Jak asked in the silent way that Illia and Lara had managed. The quarian jerked and he spoke aloud. "I am sorry. My name is Jak. I...seem to have made a mess."

"So I see, human Jak." The quarian was shaking her head slightly. "I… Admiral I need to get back."

"Korri, I need your help." Elan'Shiya said quickly. "He is suffering from energy burns inside his head. It was..." What followed was a spate of esoteric medical gobbledygook that Jak immediately tuned out.

 _She can hear us._ Jak sent to Illia.

 _I know._ Illia replied. _But she is scared. With reason. If the quarians realize what she is, she_ _may_ _never be free._ _They_ _might_ _lock her in a lab for the rest of her life._ _It happened during the rachni wars._ Korri stiffened and Illia sent to her. _We won't leave you here._

"Who are you?" Korri said slowly. "That was a krogan who came with Tali'Zorah. But… you are human." She looked at Shepherd and then at Jak. Then she looked at Illia. "And asari?" Her tone was odd, not childlike, but confused and scared.

"Korri, please." Elan'Shiya indicated the floor beside her and the newly come quarian knelt. They started working on something.

"Why is she wearing _binders_? No one would say on the Rayya." Tali said flatly. No one spoke and she snarled. "I didn't know. I never asked. Shepherd..." She pleaded.

"Tali." Shepherd sounded a little sick now. "That is an internal Fleet matter. We cannot interfere. Tali, we need to go." She said quietly. "We have an appointment with the Omega 4 relay."

"I… Yes." Tali shook her head but her eyes were on Admiral Shala'Raan. "Admiral Shala'Raan? If I come back, we are going to have _words_." She spun and stalked from the room, back stiff and straight.

"If?" Jak asked softly.

"There is a good chance _none_ of us will. No one has ever come back from that relay." Shepherd said with a shrug. "But we have a good crew and the best intel available. Add to that? The Collectors just made this personal. They attacked my ship and took most of my crew. I am off to get them _back_."

"Give them hell, Commander." Jak said with a frown.

"With pitchforks, Lieutenant." Shepherd braced herself and gave him a sharp salute.

"Ma'am?" Jak jerked as Elan'Shiya did something, but it didn't hurt and he relaxed. But a _Commander_ saluting a _Lieutenant_? And he wasn't even in the Alliance anymore! What the hell?

"Something Hackett and Anderson rammed through." Shepherd held her salute, waiting. "The Alliance gave you the Star for saving the colony on Terra Nova. Always takes a while to process. It went through a day after you vanished from the hospital." Jak's eyes went huge at that. The Star of Terra was a big deal. It was the highest award the Alliance could give. It was usually given posthumously. It entitled any bearer to a few perks. The right to a salute from _any_ serving Alliance soldier was merely the smallest of those. Shepherd had earned it on Elysium. "Your whole team got it. All _eight_ of you. It isn't nearly enough, but it is a start on what the Alliance owes you."

"I... Doc." Jak pleaded. Elan'Shiya sighed but nodded. He raised his hand slowly and carefully, giving the best salute he could while flat on his back. He dropped the salute as soon as he could and Shepherd dropped hers. "If we do not meet again, Commander? It has been an honor."

"You say that _now_." Shepherd snorted. "Wait until _Joker_ hears who you were. He will spam your email if he ever finds it demanding a fly off to find out who the best pilot is or at least to share stories." Jak groaned again and Shepherd chuckled. "The price of fame. Good luck. To _all_ of you." Her eyes swept the room and then she was gone.

Jak stare after her and then stiffened as Elan'Shiya laid something around his neck that closed with a click. "Doc."

"We have to isolate your head." The quarian replied calmly. "With the shock absorbers, we can make is so your inner ears are not disrupted when we move you. It will feel very odd, but if it works, you can go with no danger."

"Will I be able to see? Hear? Talk?" Jak asked, dreading the worst.

"Not as easily. But we can work it out." Elan'Shiya reassured him.

"Jak, we have got you." Illia said with a grunt. "Trust me. If we can move you, you are in the clear." But her eyes were on Korri. Admiral Shala'Raan was sharp eyed.

"What is your interest in Korri?" The admiral asked slowly. Jak tensed and both of the quarian medics froze for a moment before Elan'Shiya started working again. Illia looked at the Admiral and then at the still floating Daro'Xen. "This is not her concern now. It is the entire _Fleet's_ concern."

"Korri has a gift that is incredibly rare." Illia said slowly and carefully. Korri spun to stare at the asari, her eyes apparently huge underneath her visor. "It is also incredibly disorienting. Korri, do you have blackouts? Sleepwalk? Sing in your sleep?"

Korri stiffened but did not speak. She went back to what she was doing with Elan'Shiya. Jak could see her fingers trembling.

 _You can hear me._ Jak said slowly. _We mean you no harm. Your songs are beautiful. Sad but beautiful._

"My..." Korri jerked and then snarled. "Get out of my head!"

"We are not in your head, Korri." Illia's tone was soft and gentle now. "You need help, girl. We can give it."

"No one can help me." Korri said weakly and then gave herself a shake. Elan'Shiya's posture looked worried.

"They helped _me_." Jak said softly. "Massive post traumatic stress. Brain damage. They couldn't fix it, but they helped."

"I cannot..." Korri stammered and then snarled a bit, focusing on her work. "No! I will do what is required and go back to my-" She broke off as Elan'Shiya laid a hand on her arm.

"Your _cell_ , Korri?" Elan'Shiya said sadly. "Because that is what it is. They keep you in a cell. They lock you in every night because they are afraid of you."

"They should be!" Korri snapped, her hands working to extend something around Jak's head.

"Wait. Stop." Shala'Raan said quickly. "Korri. Stop. Please." She begged. "If Illia's friends can help Jak Collains with all the damage we see in his scans, maybe they can help you."

"We can." Illia said quietly. "Her damage is psychological, not physical. What have they done? Given you sedatives to stop the songs?" Korri jerked and Illia shook her head. "No. You self medicate, don't you?"

"You don't know me!" Korri all but screamed. Both marines took a step forward, but Shala'Raan waved to them and they retreated.

 _But I want to._ Jak sent with every ounce of his empathy, his compassion, his fear for her that he could send.

"What is this?" Korri begged. "I can hear you. In my mind. Is this mind control? Telepathy? What?"

The Admiral tensed but Illia's gentle voice sounded and everyone relaxed.

"It is not mind control or telepathy, Korri." Illia said when Korri sobbed a little. "It is a mix of ultrasonics, pheromones and dark energy quantum entanglement on the atomic scale. Not anything anyone has ever been able to duplicate in a lab. No tech can replicate this. Not tech can stop it all. You are one of _three_ people we know of who can do this naturally. It isn't a weapon. It is a gift. Your songs are beautiful. Can you hear _ours?_ "

The rachni music swelled in Jak's mind and he could see Korri stiffen. She could hear it.

"Please don't." Korri begged as the music sounded louder and louder in Jak's mind. "No! Don't give me _hope_ again! I can't! Not _again_!" The pain and heartbreak in her voice had Jak in tears. He was not the only one. He saw Illia's eyes glistening.

The helmet sealed around Jak's head and he couldn't see for a moment. Then the visor cleared. He could still hear the songs but nothing else.

 _Jak?_ Illia sent. _You okay?_

 _Can't hear normally but yeah._ Jak tensed as Elan'Shiya's hand touched the side of the helmet and a speaker came alive.

"He should be able to hear now, but hopefully, the absorption will prevent any jarring." The medic sat back. "It is very similar to the shock absorption of our envirosuit helmet. It is not a vac suit, but it should work for a short time."

"I am good. But… Korri." Jak said sadly. "Oh Korri." She was crying. There was a murmur in his mind and it took a moment for him to realize she was speaking softly the same way he did. It was so soft and so hurting. So bleeding raw.

 _Ican'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan't_

His heart went out to the quarian as she sobbed in her mind. He saw Illia's face soften as well.

 _Yes, you_ **can** _._ Jak sent every bit of reassurance he could even as her monologue continued.

"We cannot leave Korri here." Illia said flatly. "She cannot be used as a weapon, but that won't stop people _trying_."

"What is wrong with her?" Elan'Shiya had Korri in her arms, trying to soothe and failing. "She doesn't have brain damage!"

"No." Illia frowned and then shook her head. "I don't know how she is doing this or why. But if anyone else finds out she can do this, her life will be in grave danger. Cerberus took Jak and Lara to try and find out how they were linked. The scans they did… Your own admiral did the same. Korri is not linked, but maybe, someday… She might be."

"She is broken." Jak said flatly, sitting up. This time, Elan'Shiya did not stop him. Nothing went wrong and he nodded to her. "Thanks, doc."

"You will heal, given time." The quarian medic hugged her colleague who cried harder. "I have tried to help her."

"You have." Illia reassured. "There is nothing wrong with her. But her songs will have made all kinds of people _think_ there is. Have you tried electroshock yet?" She asked mildly.

"What?" Elan'Shiya demanded angrily. "We would _never_ do that!"

"They did during the rachni wars, when people heard the songs." Illia bowed her head. "I wasn't around then, but I read up a lot when I got this job. People who hear voices or songs in their minds that no one else can are crazy. They have to be, right? Maybe she is. I don't know her well enough to say. If anyone _deserves_ to be crazy after what was done to them, Jak and Korri qualify. We helped him, we can help her."

"Truly?" The voice was low, concerned and not one that had spoken recently. All eyes went to the floating quarian who was still hanging there. Shala'Raan shook her head. "Your encryption on my mute was good. Not that good. I was angry. I didn't understand, Raan."

"You could have gotten everyone on this ship _killed_ , Xen." Raan said flatly. "If Illia here wasn't as restrained as she is… You _would_ have."

"We do not want to fight." Illia raised her hand and Daro'Xen lowered to the floor. She stood gingerly and did not move otherwise as the biotic fields released her. "We understand the cost far too clearly to wish violence on any."

"Then how do you explain the rachni wars?" Shala'Raan demanded.

"I can't." Illia said sadly. "My queen cannot. She doesn't know what happened. She was in the egg, not even hatched when it went into stasis. But she could hear even in the egg. So many lives, so many songs, silenced. We believe there may have been another party involved, but we have no proof." She stepped forward and laid a hand on Korri's shoulder. "We will not let anyone silence you, Korri."

"And if I _want_ it?" Korri demanded through her tears.

"The only true silence for such is death, Korri." Jak said in the silence that greeted her outburst. "And we will not kill you."

"But I _WANT IT_!" This time, Korri _did_ scream.

"No, you don't." Jak said heavily. "You want the pain to stop. You want the nightmares to stop. You want people to stop looking at you with pity or worse, quietly ignore you." Jak moved to Illia's side and laid his hand on Korri's other shoulder. She was trembling as she stared at him. "Believe me, I know how that feels. There only thing worse than being alone in an echoing emptiness..."

"Is being alone in a _crowd_." Korri bowed her head and sobbed. Jak sighed and squeezed her shoulder.

"You are not alone, Korri." Jak said with a growl as he looked at the other quarians who had not moved. "No matter _what_ anyone tries to make you, you are not alone."

"I never did." To Jak's astonishment, Daro'Xen stepped forward and laid her hand on Korri's trembling helmet. "I am not good with people, Korri. I never have been. I never will be. I focus too tight on what I am good with. But your father would be proud of you."

"My father was a traitor." Korri croaked through her tears.

"Define traitor, Korri." Shala'Raan said quietly. "He was not a citizen of the Fleet. He was not born here. He never took oaths. He considered himself a prisoner."

"That is exactly what he was." Jak and Illia chorused. They looked at one another and then shut up. All of the quarians stared at them and Jak shook his head.

"You knew him." Daro'Xen said slowly.

"Did you?" Jak asked. The dark suited quarian nodded. "I see."

"Several of my peers and I were of his age and we were asked to try to befriend him. Also to keep an eye on him." Daro' Xen patted Kori's helmet gently. "What we quarians did to him cost him his family and his sight. He was never going to trust us, but he wasn't aggressive. He was never violent. He simply did not feel the same way we did. I learned so much, simply watching him work. He was incredible. The best technologist I have ever seen."

" _He_ was the reason that colony ship jumped to Arcturus instead of Omega." Jak said quietly. A pin dropping in the room would have sounded like a grenade. "He helped me and Lara. I can't say more. I gave him my word."

"I can just see him doing that and laughing his ass off." Daro'Xen sounded darkly amused. She sobered " _Can_ you help Korri?"

"Yes." Illia said calmly. "It will not be quick or easy, but we can." She knelt and laid her arms around Korri who sobbed into her shoulder. "Not here and it is nothing any tech known can duplicate."

"Is… is he…?" Korri sputtered on her tears and shuddered as Illia held him.

"I am sorry, Korri." Illia said sadly. "He passed away. He didn't know about you."

"Just as well." Shala'Raan muttered. "I shudder to think what he might have done to the fleet to get her back. Xen..." The last was a command.

"We found you on a geth ship, Lieutenant Collains." Daro'Xen said slowly. "I will not apologize for taking you from what we thought was certain death. I do apologize for hurting you. That was not intended. We did not understand the link between you and Lara and that nearly cost you your lives. I apologize."

"You nearly started a war between the rachni and the quarians. No one would have won such a conflict." Jak said slowly. "I do not understand your history with the geth. I don't have all of the context and I won't, since I am not quarian. This will likely be classified or whatever you quarians call it and hushed up as we call it. I can accept your apology for the hurts done to me. Lara… may or may not wake up."

"I..." Daro'Xen shook her head. "I fixate on the geth and see only their defeat. That is what I am, what I do. I cannot change that."

"Fixation will kill you as surely as a bullet would, Admiral." Jak shook his head. "For now? I need to get to Lara and see if we can help Korri."

"Korri." Shala'Raan's voice was odd. It was gentle, but held command at the same time. "You are detached from your duties on the Rayya for medical care. I am sending you a set of files. Possibilities. Maybe a fresh start." The Admiral's omni-tool lit up and Korri's did as well. Not that she was in any shape to read at the moment. She turned to Illia. "I am assuming that your 'employers' are also interested in Ryder's work."

"One reason." Illia hugged Korri again. "If the Reapers _do_ come, we want a chance to survive as a race."

"You cannot believe that." Daro'Xen sounded more like her old self.

"When you eliminate the impossible, Admiral, whatever is left, no matter how _improbable_ , must be the truth. A human named Arthur Conan Doyle said that. Can we really _ignore_ such a threat?" Jak said calmly as he rose and helped Korri to her feet. She staggered and he held her up. _Easy, girl, We have you._

 _I am not a girl._ Her mental tone growled. Jak had to smile. She wasn't as hurt as some he had seen, if _incredibly_ fragile. He could almost feel her mind bending nearly to the breaking point,. He sent what aid he could and felt Illia do the same.

 _You would barely be an infant to an asari._ Illia sent dryly and both Jak and Korri jerked.

"Hedging bets is rarely a horrible idea, Xen. The Andromeda Initiative may be the ultimate hedge bet." Shala'Raan said softy as Elan'Shiya rose to give Korri a hug. "But frankly? I don't think any of us want to bet against these people."

"Wise."


	16. Chapter 16

**Running**

Korri was finally asleep.

Jak hadn't been sure at all about this small ship. The outside hadn't looked anything like any ship Jak had ever seen, but Illia had led him and Korri into a room that wouldn't have been out of place on any other ship Jak had ever been on. There, she had worked for an hour to cut the binders off Korri's wrists and ankles with Jak's somewhat fumbling help. He knew maintenance on aircraft, not cutting security manacles off. Luckily, Illia seemed to be an asari of many skills.

All the while, the rachni song had surrounded them both. It hadn't been overpowering, more welcoming than intruding. Korri had slowly relaxed and then, in between two breaths, had fallen asleep. Jak hadn't been clear headed with fatigue and worry, but the music had helped a bit. Now however, Illia was easing him down beside Korri.

"Lara?" Jak begged as Illia carefully undid the helmet from his head. He tried to push her hands away, but his fingers had no strength now.

"As soon as you are strapped in, we are going to a rendezvous where the medics will meet us to tend you both." Illia said quietly. "It is not a particularly safe place for people like us, but it is a good place for the rachni to hide for the moment since few people look closely at worlds where humans, asari and such cannot _breathe_."

"You are going to knock me out." Jak said slowly.

"No need." Illia sat beside him, her fingers twining his. "I am amazed you managed to stay awake this long. I will make some calls, do a pickup on the way to be sure we have dextro rations and medicine. My employers have never treated a quarian before, but they are hopeful. She isn't physically hurt. Just so sad and broken inside."

"Don't leave Korri alone." Jak pleaded as sleep reached up to grab hold of him and the room started spinning even before he closed his eyes. Illia's sad smile was the last thing he saw, but he felt her arms move him close to the slumbering quarian and a blanket stretched over both. Of its own accord, Jak's arm draped over the slumbering quarian.

He fell asleep listening to the mechanical whir of Korri's ventilator. It soothed him as much as the rachni music inside did.

It seemed only a moment later that Illia was calling his name. He surfaced through a fog. He wasn't lying on the surface he had been, Korri wasn't beside him anymore. Now, he was lying in something that felt wet and a little clammy. No, he was floating. He knew he should be worried, but it felt good. He was more relaxed than he had been in _years_.

"Hey, Jak." Illia's voice came to him and Jak tried to open his eyes. They wouldn't but he didn't feel worried. No. He felt comfort surrounding him. The rachni songs were all around him, penetrating every pore and muscle, easing every inch of his body.

"Illia?" Jak manged to speak through the lethargy. "What happened?"

"We are here." A hand found his and gave a squeeze. "The medics wanted to keep you asleep while they worked. They did and you are in recovery. They say you will be fine." Jak managed to squeeze the hand back although it was hard to focus enough to do even that.

"Korri?" Jak asked slowly. "Lara?"

"Korri is asleep and will stay that way for another ten hours or so." Illia sounded calm. That was good. Right? "She hasn't slept very well for a long time according to her readings. We are keeping her fed and hydrated while she recovers. Lara is a mess." The asari said with a sob.

"Tell me." Jak tried to plead, but his emotions were not working quite right. The hand gave his a squeeze again.

"There was physical damage that mirrored yours." Illia said sadly. "But she did not react as you did. We cannot find her. We cannot hear her. We fear for her. And for you."

"Can the geth do anything?" Jak asked, ambivalent. He knew he shouldn't feel that way, buit he couldn't muster energy to feel anything else.

"No." Illia said sadly. "Physically, there is nothing wrong with her now. We have healed all of the damage, she simply is not waking." Jak thought about that for a long time and then he sighed. "We do not know what is wrong with her. Can you feel her?"

Jak thought about that for a long time. He could. He could her her songs, but they were dim, as if from far away.

"I can still feel her in the link, Illia. I can hear her." Jak said after a long moment. There was utter silence as Jak perused his feelings. "I can."

"That is good." Illia mused. "We both tried to shield her from the pain that hit you during the scans. Maybe you can do something when the medics let you out of there. That should be an hour or two."

"What can I do that you can't?" Jak asked.

"We are just her friends, Jak." Illia had a smile in her voice as Jak faded again.

"You are her _mate_."

* * *

Later

Jak opened his eyes and froze as he felt small things scuttling all over him. He stared up at a rock ceiling and then a familiar blue face appeared in his vision.

"Hey lazybones." Illia smiled and Jak smiled back a bit hesitantly. The feelings of things on him faded and Illia nodded. "All done. You should be able to move with no impairment."

Jak sat up slowly and Illia helped him. He was sitting in something that looked for all the world like a huge cocoon that had split across the top so that he could get out of it. He stared at it and then around. He was sitting in the middle of a small room. The walls were bare rock, no technology was visible at all. Glowing purplish phosphorescence shone in places and gave more than enough light to see by without being too bright. He could see several recognizable rachni forms sitting near the walls and a number of smaller forms scuttled around them. Then he stared down at himself and froze. He wasn't wearing anything! His hands immediately dropped to cover his crotch.

"Don't be that way, Jak." Illia chortled as she handed him a bundle of clothes. "You needed care. The medics undressed you. You haven't got anything I haven't seen before." Jak took the clothes and then covered himself again. "Jak! No one _cares_."

" _I_ care!" Jak said a bit sharper than he intended and then sighed. Illia smirked, stood up and turned her back. "I am stressed." He started pulling the clothes on. They fit, no surprise.

"You have a right to it." Illia smiled as Jak pulled undergarments on swiftly and then started donning the rest a bit more carefully. "Didn't think you would be body shy after so much time in the Alliance."

"Too much time in hospitals and asylums." Jak finished dressing and made to stand up. Illia offered a hand as he rose and he took it gratefully. "No privacy made me jealous of it whenever I had it."

"I can see that." Illia let go as soon as Jak was vertical and standing on his own. "Korri will likely be out for another eight hours. Lara..." She slumped. "We have done what we can, Jak."

"I can feel her, Illia" Jak said slowly. Indeed, he could hear Lara singing, but it was muted, distant. "I can hear her singing as if from a long ways away."

"You can?" Illia's face lit up and she smiled. "Good. That is good. We can't and feared the worst. We have her on full support. Jak… It is kind of gross." She warned as Jak took a step.

"I can handle it." Jak said and then paused as Illia laughed. "What?"

"Don't say I didn't warn you." Illia took Jak's hand and led the way towards one wall. Just before they got there a valve like thing opened and they stepped through what had to be a rachni door. The roomt hey entered was almost the same as the one Jak had woken in except there was a crater like thing in the middle of the floor instead of a cocoon. A smallish rachni at beside the crater thing and one of its whip like appendages waved at Illia. Illia nodded. "We can look, but you cannot touch without giving us time to adapt. The fluid is set to her body temperature and PH. Any alterations may jar her. We don't want that."

"She is in… there." Jak eyed the crater thing. There was no sign of Lara.

Instead of answering, Illia pulled him forward. A few steps in and Jak could see a clear thing floating in the greenish fluid that filled the crater. Jak inhaled as he saw Lara's sleeping face inside the clear thing. The crater or whatever had to be a lot deeper than it looked for her to be lying like that. Illia nodded as he stared.

"I call those 'goo baths'." Illia said with a smile. "They look disgusting, but you remember how relaxed you were when you first woke?" Jak nodded, not looking away form Lara's face. "You were in one. My first glimpse of rachni came when I was in one. Ultrasonics are used in a lot of places for massage, and the rachni are very good at manipulating sound. I needed the calm. I wasn't very coherent when I first saw them."

Jak turned to look at Illia. Was that shame on her face? Jak did not hesitate. He embraced the asari. She froze and the sounds surrounding them changed a little from a hum to a slightly softer hum.

"Thank you." He hugged her again.

"Jak?" Illia asked, concerned.

"You and the geth were the first people in _years_ who treated me like I wasn't contagious." Jak said quietly, not releasing the asari. "Who treated me like a person. The docs and nurses, some of them tried, but I was just a patient to most of them. Just another number. They had to do that, separate themselves, or they couldn't function. But it hurt."

"Yeah, well..." Illia laid her arms around Jak and gave him a squeeze. "I had my eyes opened rather quickly when I woke in their care. I very nearly died that day. They put me back together. I wish the queen would let me stay with them, but I understand why she refused."

"What?" Jak asked, staring at the rachni.

"This is not the hive, Jak." Illia gave him a squeeze and then released him, retreating a step. He let her go. "I called for help when the geth recovered you. The queen sent a force to my aid, but I do not know where they came from. I won't until and unless they need me to. That way, I cannot lead anyone to them. These… will not return to the hive for the same fear."

"Then what will happen to these?" Jak asked, horror slowly dawning. Illia looked away and Jak had his answer. "No!"

"Jak, rachni are not human." Illia cautioned him. "They are not like any race you have encountered before. They are individuals, but they all exist to serve the hive. This serves the hive. None of them would question."

" _Can_ they?" Jak demanded. It wasn't Illia who replied!

 _You do us honor, Jak Collains._ Jak stared at the small rachni who was at the crater pool and it was eyeing him. _Each of us has a purpose and a time. The queen commands, we obey. But she would not command us to do something silly or stupid. If she commands, there is a reason._

"I cannot think that way." Jak said weakly.

 _Of course not._ The rachni replied. _You cannot think our way any more than we can think your way. We are not slaves, Jak Collains. Do not think of us that way. Every one of us was honored to aid you and Lara. Now we are honored to aid you, Lara and Korri Zumin's daughter. If we can send an egg to Andromeda, then we will. If not? We will do what we can here until our time_ _on this_ _plane comes to an end._

"I..." The raw certainty in the rachni's tone shamed Jak and he slumped. Illia laid an arm around his shoulders.

"No one understood the rachni. There was no communication during the wars. Some tried, but they failed. They are not slaves, Jak. Neither am I. I serve because I _want_ to. They were born and bred to serve, but they have choice." Illia promised. "And _none_ of us will go quietly into the night. The universe will hear our songs. The sky singers are here again and we will never be silenced again."

"Never wished I could sing before." Jak said slowly. Illia smiled at him and her could feel her mind gently pushing his. "Illia, I am not a singer."

"Jak." Illia smiled wider. "Neither am _I_." Jak stared at the asari, his jaw dropping and she nodded. "Singing is an art form. One I was never good at. I am a translator, not a singer. With the rachni though, I do not need to be."

Considering that their songs were the most beautiful things Jak had ever heard? Maybe barring Lara's own songs and now Korri's? No, he didn't need to sing to be able to appreciate those. He smiled as Illia hugged him again both mentally and physically. Then she gave him a small shove towards the green fluid filled crater.

"If you can hear her, then you can likely find her." Illia pace a hand on Jak's back, guiding him toward the pool. "Give us a moment to settle the temperature and you can touch her."

"But you said I could jar her." Jak protested, but did not resist.

 _That may be what is needed._ The rachni by the crater/pool/whatever it was replied. _She has withdrawn so far. Too far for us to reach her. Call to her. Seek her out. Use the connection you share._

Jak stared from the rachni to Lara's slumbering face, then to Illia who nodded. She guided him to sit by the crater lip and he did. He closed his eyes.

 _Lara?_ He called in his mind. _Lara, can you hear me?_ There was no reply. _She ran away from the pain._

 _Yes._ Illia replied the same way. _You know about that._

There was no censure in her mental tone. He did. Soldiers were supposed to be tough and capable, but in all things there were limits and Jak's injuries had surpassed his limits. He had never lost discipline even at his worst, but it had been close many times during his recovery. He hated remembering the first days he could remember after his capture, hazes of fear and pain mixed with Alliance uniforms trying to interrogate him. He had sunk into himself and it had taken weeks of therapy for him to come out of his shell. The docs had been patient though and he had thanked them all for that.

"Retreating from such a horrible experience is to be expected." Jak said aloud. "But I am no shrink. And we do not have time to let her come out on her own. Do we?"

"No." Illia replied. "The Andromeda Initiative is entering the final stages for launch. If we are going to piggy back on it, we need to get you there soon. But you cannot go without Lara. The separation would kill you."

"Can we tell the Initiative people the truth?" Jak asked. Illia looked at him and Jak frowned. "I don't think they have a problem bending rules, Illia. _Ryder_ certainly doesn't." He smiled a little as she frowned in thought.

"That is a good point." Illia admitted. "But we have hidden so carefully. Such would go against the grain. For right now? Try agan."

 _Lara._ Jak sent on the wavelength they shared. _Lara. Come on. You need to wake up, honey. Everyone is waiting, we have a new sister. She needs help too. I need your help Lara. I am not a people person, not really._

 _Jak._ The mental voice was barely a whisper. Jak immediately grabbed for it, only to be jerked up short.

"No!" Illia exclaimed. "Let her wake on her own. She needs to do it herself." Jak stared at Illia and then at the pool where Lara's face hadn't changed.

 _Lara, we need you. You have scared us all. Please. Sing for me?_ He begged.

 _I am tired, Jak._ Lara said weakly. _Let me sleep please._

 _I can't honey._ Jak replied, reaching for the pool. Neither of the others stopped him as he plunged his hand into the fluid. It felt _icky_. He reached down blindly and touched something that had his hand recoiling. Illia chuckle,d but did not comment. His hand followed Lara's shoulder down until he found her hand in the fluid, leaning down until his face was inches away form it. It stank! _Lara, please I need you. You are safe. We are safe._

 _Not safe._ Lara was crying in her mind now and he saw tears start to fall down her face. He jerked as something arced up from the fluid to wipe Lara's face. He carefully did not look to see what it was. _It hurt. Jak. You were screaming and it hurt. Oh my god it hurt!_

 _I know Lara. I know._ Jakreached down with his other hand, tracing Lara's other arm until he found her other hand. _But it is okay now. You need to wake up. Please. I need you. Korri needs you._

 _Korri?_ Jak smiled as Lara's mind was suddenly sharper. _Who is Korri?_

 _Zumin's daughter._ Jak was not prepared for the sheer rage that tore through Lara and she jerked in the pool. _Yes I know. But we have her. She is safe and so are you. But um… I am going to need your help to introduce her to the geth after what the quarians taught her._

 _No joke._ Lara's voice was slowly firming as she relaxed. Her face creased in a slow smile. _This feels really good._

 _Yeah it does._ Jak paused as Lara sent him feelings, images of what she wanted to do. They involved him naked and… _LARA!_

 _Just setting some boundaries._ Lara said with a smirk in her mental tone that was mirrored on her face. _Can't see._

 _You don't_ **want** _to see what you are in right now, Lara._ Illia sent with a laugh. _Good news is you are incredibly clean, but we-_

Korri screamed.


	17. Chapter 17

**Dreaming**

Jak was in motion even as he felt Lara reaching out with her mind and songs. Illia was at his side as they ran into another room. In it, a cocoon that was almost the same as the one Jak had been in sat in the middle of the floor. This one was closed and it took no imagination to know what lay within. Korri was still screaming. It was both mental and audible.

"Is she awake?" Jak demanded even as he went to his knees beside the cocoon. He stared to the side and Korri's envirosuit suit lay there. _In pieces!_ "What the-?"

"It had a number of trackers and other nastiness installed." Illia said flatly as she too knelt. "She is safe in the cocoon. It is a sterile environment and when it comes time to get her out, the geth have Zumin's old setup ready for her. Including a suit they are building."

"Illia, I don't know much about quarians, but I _do_ know they never leave their suits." Jak protested.

"That is an error, Collains Pilot." A familiar green form stepped into Jak's view from the other side of the cocoon. AF-43765 held some kind of machinery that it set beside the cocoon. "Creator Korri is asleep, but she is experiencing great distress. We feared as much when we removed her from her covering."

"Then let's do something about that." Jak did not wait for permission he laid both hands on the cocoon. He was immediately assaulted by fear and pain mixed with sorrow and loss. "Illia..." He grunted as he focused on Korri's slumbering mind, soothing her the best he could. He had no idea what he was doing, but she did quiet a little. _I am here, Korri. You are not alone. I am here._ Korri's screams tapered off to whimpers. _I am here. You are safe, girl._

"Keep her calm, Jak. We will handle the nightmare." Illia said quietly as music soared around him. The rachni had focused on her and the music swept into Korri, pushing the darkness of her fear away. In moments, she had quieted and Jak sank back, breathing hard. He was not sure why he was so tired. He hadn't done anything! Illia caught his questioning look and she shook her head. "Mental or physical, it takes energy, Jak. You have never exercised those mental muscles. They won't be strong."

"I guess that makes sense." Jak took a deep steadying breath and then another. _Lara?_

 _Still here, loverboy. Korri's songs are dim, but calmer._ Lara sent with a wicked laugh. _I feel odd. But good. Where am I?_

"You are in a recovery bed, rachni style." Illia said both aloud. Both could hear her. "Good news is you are very, very clean both inside and out. Bad news? It stinks and you will need some help to get the residue off."

 _I don't know a lot about rachni._ Lara sent. _Can I learn?_ She asked a bit shyly.

"You will learn a bit more than you will want to." Illia smirked at Jak's expression. "They are good people, but very different from any others I have met. Their methods are _not_ for the squeamish."

 _I see._ Lara sighed deeply. _No time like the present?_

"I am here, Lara." Jak paused, looking at Korri. The green geth sat beside the cocoon and nodded to him.

"We will remain with Creator Korri until she wakes." The geth sounded a bit worried. "But she will not react well to our presence."

"No." Jak laid a hand on the cocoon and felt it shift under his fingers. "You say you brought a suit for her?"

"Our consensus had revamped a suit for her from Zumin's stockpiles." AF-43765 replied. "Male and female quarians differ in shape however, so she will need to be fitted for it. That will require her to be conscious. We do not wish to frighten her."

"Neither do we." Illia said with a frown. "But some fear will happen. She was raised to think of your people as mindless killing machines. Jak and Lara will help, but they too will need envirosuits for when they leave, since we won't move them in cocoons. I do not know anything about quarian social customs." The asari mused. "What little contact I had with quarians was always short and to the point."

"And we cannot ask anyone else." Jak shook his head as Illia did. "What if… we ask Korri?"

"Hmmm?" Illia queried. "She is asleep."

"Stop me if I am going into territory I should not." Jak spoke slowly and carefully. "But asari can share memories. Lara and I cannot do what you do, but we share something else. I am pretty sure Korri shares it too. She can hear you and me when we speak in our minds. It is probable she can hear Lara. So… what if we made a dream for her?"

"You want us to put her in a fabricated _dream_?" Illia sounded confused by that.

"No." Jak shook his head quickly. "Or… maybe? Lara and I were somewhere else before I woke and she...well..." He blushed and Illia smirked.

"I believe the human saying is 'jumped your bones'." Illia laughed as Jak blushed brighter. "Jak, it is nothing _bad_. You didn't hurt her and she didn't hurt you. She wanted you. You wanted her." She raised a hand when Jak started to protest. "You did. Admit it."

"Yeah, okay. I did. Happy?" Jak asked sourly.

"There are few things in life as beautiful as a meaningful relationship between beings who love each other, Jak." Illia wasn't looking at Jak. Indeed, she was staring at the wall, but her eyes were far away. "She gives you joy and you return it. That is a good thing, Jak. Never doubt that. Don't throw that away. You will regret it if you do. Trust me. I speak from experience."

 _Do you love the rachni?_ Lara's words were a little hesitant.

"Yes. It is hard for me not to." Illia admitted. "I melded with them, you see. With the queen. I saw so much. Good, bad, indifferent. I saw it all. She didn't know what to expect, but we agreed that it would be a good experiment. I have no regrets."

A feeling washed over Jak from everywhere. The rachni music was soothing calming, but also held tinge of something that Jak could only define as love. He could feel the alien music weaving a tapestry through his mind and it felt good. He smiled as Illia's face turned a lighter shade of blue Was she _blushing_?

 _Neither do we._ Came a response from what had to be the rachni queen. _What is it you wish to try?_ She asked Jak.

 _Korri has lived her entire life in isolation._ Jak said quietly as Illia moved towards the door and beckoned him to follow. He did. _From the feel of her mind, she did not seem to understand what Elan'Shiya was trying to do. Why the medic cared. I do not know if anyone showed her compassion or understanding before Elan'Shiya did. We need to, but we also need to be prepared because she will not understand it._

 _So what do we do?_ Lara asked.

 _We take her home._

* * *

A bit later _  
_

Jak sat down on a convenient rock and smiled as the mental world solidified around him. The geth hadn't understood entirely what was needed, but now that Illia and the rachni had explained, they had outdone themselves. Nothing could possibly beat a computer for pulling up digital images. These Jak did not know. He had never been on this world before. He smiled as the sky took on a lighter tinge and Lara appeared beside him. She was wearing the same kind of garment he was, a quarian envirosuit without a closed helmet. Instead, both wore clear plastic domes that would serve as quarantine filters while showing their features. Her suit was white to denote her medic status. His was orange to denote military.

The landscape was bare rock with scattered trees and shrubs all around. The image had been pulled from geth files on Rannoch and given form by the rachni's mental wizardry. There were no signs of technology, quarian or geth and none of the scars of industrialization or the war that had scoured the quairan people from their home and sent the pitiful remnants fleeing for their lives. The sky and landscape were very different from Jak's memories of Earth, but he had to admit, the view was beautiful. He smiled at Lara and she smiled back.

"What?" Lara asked.

"Just thinking how beautiful the view is." He was eyeing _her_ instead of the landscape and her face pinked. "I have some ideas for later."

 _Children._ Illia's tone was amused rather than ironic. _We are ready._ _Start small._

"Right." Jak took a deep breath and nodded. "Do it."

The beautiful view around them vanished as bare metal walls surrounded the pair. The rocks and trees were closed off by metal as a ceiling appeared over them, harsh lights blocking away the sky even as the metal enclosed them both completely. The room was not small but it was totally bare. This as from Lara's dim memories of the quarian ship and she shivered a little. She hadn't been awake, but she had roused a few times during the scans and seen a little. Jak laid an arm around her.

"I am all right." Lara said with a frown. "I feel a bit of fear, but we need to ease her into this. If we simply dropped her outside with no warning, she would go mad."

 _Indeed_ Illia's mind sent. _Quarians live their whole lives in isolation due to their weak immune systems. The rachni can help, but there may be side effects. We want her calm before we do anything and we will need to explain what happened to her suit._

"Yes." Jak gave Lara a squeeze and then nodded to no one. "We are ready."

He watched as a form solidified nearby. Korri lay on a small bed. Her feature obscured by the plastic tent-like thing that covered her. She wore a green patient gown and her face was peaceful in sleep. She was older than he had thought, but her face held a curious vulnerability as well. He and Lara waited and the slumbering quarian gave a small moan as she woke. She jerked as realization dawned. She wasn't in her suit and she didn't know where she was.

"This is not the real world, Korri." Jak said as she froze, her face suddenly fearful. "Easy Korri. I am Jak, remember?"

"And I am Lara." Lara said with a small, sad smile. "We didn't meet."

"This… No." Korri sat up on the bed and hugged herself tight. The tent expanded as she did, but she was too scared to notice. "No!"

"Korri." Jak tried again. "You are safe. You are in a quarantine enclosure. It is clean. You are clean. You are safe, girl. You are safe." Korri was breathing hard, almost hyperventilating. Jak looked at Lara and she nodded and started to sing.

The song was ancient. Jak didn't know the history of it, but he had heard it the first time in his first life on the streets of Old Madrid. He had heard mothers singing the tune to their children and it brought a soft, sad smile to his face. He would never see Earth again. He knew that.

Korri stared at the pair of humans as Lara sang another verse and started the refrain again. She was humming along with Lara when the human finished the refrain. She smiled as Jak did. If you ignored the three fingers and the fact that her legs bent the wrong way, her body was not that dissimilar to humans. Her skin was dark, almost as dark as people of African descent that Jak had known. Her hair was also dark and long. The only real difference on her face was what passed for ears and Jak wasn't about to comment on that. He likely looked just as strange to her.

Lara finished her song and smiled at the quarian who returned it a little hesitantly. "Hello Korri. As I said, we have not met. My name is Lara."

"You are the one who Admiral Daro'Xen hurt." Korri looked around. "This is odd." She hugged herself again.

"This is not real." Jak replied. "At the moment, your body is asleep."

"This is a dream?" Korri asked, pinching herself and frowning. "Feels real."

"I don't know quarian physiology, but in humans all dreams feel real, Korri." Lara replied. "They take images from our subconscious minds with all of the sensory data and flash across our conscious minds. They don't generally make any sense, because they are fragments, not the whole. This is different. We created this world and pulled you into it across our link. We were not sure it would work, but I am glad it did. We need to talk."

"I am dead." Korri said weakly. "I was told that if I leave the fleet, my suit would-" She paused as Jak coughed. "Yes?"

"They _told_ you?" Jak snapped, ire rising. "They _told_ you that you would die if you fled?" Korri nodded. He cursed in Spanish and Korri eyed him.

"They didn't want you following your father." Lara sighed. "But you have and you are safe now."

"But it was built into my _suit!_ " Korri cried.

"Which the medics had to dismantle to get you into proper care." Lara nodded as Korri stared at her. "The binders, trackers and self destruct systems cannot hold you now. We have another suit being fabricated for you. One without _trackers_ or _punishment devices_ installed." She wasn't faking that anger. She was genuinely _furious_ at what had been done to Korri.

"I was a danger to myself and others." Korri said sadly. "I had to be controlled."

"Maybe." Jak shook his head at the word. "But we will not treat you that way. You are not crazy, Korri. Sad, sick and hurting, but not crazy. I know crazy. You are not."

"You don't know me. I did horrible things." Korri said weakly.

"Korri, I was a _soldier_." Jak replied. "A pilot. I know horrible. I fought pirates and slavers across dozens of planets. I have seen the worst that a sentient being can do to another. I have had it done to me." Lara wilted, but he laid his arm around her. "Neither of us are denying your pain and fear, Korri. You have a right to them. But you are not irrational despite all that. You can still function without the drugs that you gave yourself." He smiled a little sadly. "Makes me a little jealous. I needed pharmaceutical help for a long time. Until I met Lara and Illia that is."

"I am a traitor." Korri said weakly, only to freeze as Lara snarled. The human stepped forward and Korri bit back a scream as Lara pushed the quarantine enclosure and it fell away. "No!" She begged.

Lara did not hesitate. She embraced Korri and held her tight.

"The environment is not real, Korri." Lara said as Korri started to cry. "You cannot get sick from this. And I will be damned if I don't offer what comfort I can." Korri was staring at Lara through streaming eyes as Lara held her. "When was the last time _anyone_ offered you comfort?"

"Elan'Shiya tried." Korri said weakly as Lara hugged her again. "But I couldn't. After everything, I couldn't."

"What did they _do_ to you, girl?" Lara demanded. "Did they...?" She stared at Korri as if seeking wounds.

"They never hurt me." Korri said as Lara scrutinized her. "But I was always the traitor's daughter. They never let me forget it."

"Korri, I am about to say something that was will shake your worldview to its core." Jak said quietly. "Lara will not let go. She will help. We have both gone through world shaking experiences and we understand how painful they can be." She bowed her head and he shook his. "Oh this, won't do." He stepped forward and put a finger underneath Korri's jaw. He eased it up until she was looking into his eyes. "Korri. _Your father_ _w_ _as not a traitor_."

"He ran away." Korri said weakly.

"He didn't know about you, Korri." Lara said savagely. "And after what the quarians did to him? I don't blame him!" She hugged Korri again. "I knew him for several years and he was always good to me. Not always nice or gentle, but he meant well. He helped me and Jak through the worst thing we have ever encountered." Jak nodded. "Thing is, Korri… They never told you what happened to _his_ family, did they?"

"He was an orphan." Korri sounded a bit dubious. "They said he was orphaned in a pirate raid. He was so angry though." She slumped. "A lot like me."

"You _both_ had rights to anger." Jak said sternly. Then he looked away. "Korri… Are quarians good or evil?"

"What?" Korri stammered, completely flummoxed by the question. "What do you mean?"

"Are quarians good or evil?" Jak asked. "As a whole. are they the good guys or the bad guys? In your mind, which are they?"

"They are my people." Korri said after a moment. "I don't… I have known good _and_ bad. I cannot say that they are either. They have treated me...fairly well..." She gave an eep as Lara squeezed her again. "Hey!"

"They treated you like _shit_." Lara snapped. "Worse. I bet they _recycle_ shit to reuse as compost or other things. You? You were _inconvenient_ and probably _unwanted_. Korri…. _Quarians_ killed his family."

"What?" Korri stammered. "No. No, that is _impossible_!"

"His grandparents were exiled from Rannoch prior to the end of the geth war." Jak said quietly. "They didn't know each other then, but they met in their exile. They must have met others, but we have no records on that."

"But..." Korri stammered and Lara hugged her again. " _Why?_ " Lara looked at Jak, her eyes pleading. "Why would quarians kill other quarians? Please tell me." Korri begged.

"Because of us, Creator Korri." Jak, Lara and Korri all stiffened as a small, green geth appeared in the dream world.

"Geth are the cause of your father's family's death."


	18. Chapter 18

**Baggage**

Korri did not react even as Jak and Lara tensed. She stared at the geth, her dark eyes wide.

"You said this is not real." Korri said carefully. "Am I having a nightmare?"

"No." Jak hugged her gently and she was shivering slightly. "You are in no danger, Korri. None."

"There is a geth standing there and I am in no danger?" Korri asked. She jerked. "I wanted to shout that. What is going on?"

"We are keeping you calm. The rachni and I are working to keep you calm." Lara said quietly, hugging Korri as well. "Your life has been stressful enough. AF-13765, please leave. She is terrified of you."

"Creator Korri has cause." The geth replied. "We wished to give apology, but we have hurt Creator Korri. We will depart." With that, the geth simply vanished.

"That is not possible." Korri said weakly. "I don't know a lot about geth, I am a medic, not a tech. But I do know they are linked to each other. With each one that links, the group gets smarter. When only one is present, it is not that smart. Certainly not smart enough to _talk_."

"That wasn't one geth, Korri. That was hardware, geth are software." Lara held her as the quarian shivered. Jak retreated just a little, but kept his arms around Korri as Lara soothed the other with both words and barely audible music. "AF-43765 is not a name, it is a designation for a unit of geth. Almost ten thousand of them." Korri's eyes went huge and Lara nodded. "I freaked too when I woke the first time." She slumped a bit. "Zumin was there and calmed me down. It took him a little while."

"I don't blame you." Korri slowly raised her arms and hugged Lara back. "They... geth destroyed my people. Drove us from our home world It was our fault, but they did it to us. And now, you humans have lost so many on Eden prime and so many lost at the Citadel." She bowed her head. "Why not me? I want to die. Why won't anyone kill me?" She begged. "Why didn't the geth kill me?"

"They don't want to." Lara said sadly as she hugged the now sobbing quarian. "You are sick and hurt and scared. But Korri… You are not _alone_ now. Zumin was my friend. He helped me through the worst time in my life. What can I do but try to help you?"

"You can't." Korri said weakly. "No one can help me Drugs, somatic units, nothing works. I can't _sleep_. Even with all the help the Flotilla could give, It was slowly killing me."

"Korri." Jak shook his head. "You are asleep right now. Your body is recovering. But we needed to explain. To show you. AF-43765 _did_ show you."

"You are working with _geth_?" Korri demanded, only to stiffen as Lara chuckled. "What?"

"Jak asked the _exact_ _same_ thing in the _exact_ _same_ tone, _twice_." Lara smirked at Jak's expression. "We had to explain when he was finally coherent, Zumin and I. He took a bit of convincing. Then to save a lot of lives, he gave up his memories of us. I spent years in recovery after the separation and then went looking for him. The last time, he was calmer and I had help from the rachni."

"Rachni." Korri looked around. "That is the music I hear." Both Jak and Lara nodded. "It is beautiful, but…" She shook her head. "Did my father know the rachni?"

"Not that I know of." Lara paused. "Then again, he did work to track me when I ran away to look for Jak. They got Illia in on it and found me quickly with her help. I don't know..." She paused as a new voice sounded in the mindscape.

"May I come in?" Illia asked. Jak and Lara looked at Korri who shrugged a little.

"What is one more load to my already broken mind?" Korri asked sourly. Jak smiled and hugged her again." This is weird."

"It is." Illia appeared nearby, her face worried. It cleared a little as she scrutinized the odd trio. "Since you are a medic, I thought you might like to know what is happening." Lara eyed Illia who smiled at her. "And Lara will pester me to find out as well."

"I do _not_ pester." Lara said with a glower. She gasped as Jak tickled her 'Hey!" She batted at his hands and Korri stared at the pair, wide eyed.

"Don't mind them. They cannot help being human." Illia smirked at Jak's betrayed look. "Your body is different from mine and the rachni wanted to be totally sure there wouldn't be any complications before they treated you, but they are. You are in treatment now. Your blood is being filtered as we speak."

"My blood?" Korri asked, confused. "What was wrong with my blood?"

"Overabundance of fatigue toxins, low critical nutrients, too few carriers for the oxygen." Illia ticked off her fingers. "And the poison."

" _Poison?_ " This from all three of the others.

"Yes." Illia shook her head. "Someone _really_ did not want you leaving, Korri. Your father fled his captivity. They apparently did not want you dong the same." She sighed as Korri made a soft noise of grief. "Girl, it is okay. You are safe now. We will heal you."

"They will find me and kill me." Korri said weakly as Lara hugged her again. "I won't be safe anywhere."

"There are places that the quarians do not dare go." Illia said softly. "At the moment, we are in one of them. The quarians marines who took Jak and Lara managed to sneak into and out of the Veil, but the geth have warning now and such a tactic will not work again." Korri was shaking her head, but Illia was stern now. "And no, we are not in the Veil. Where we are is a secret. From everyone. Even me."

"You don't know where we are?" Korri perked up a little at that.

"We didn't know how they were tracking, but they were. A small quarian ship followed me as I left the fleet environs." Illia shrugged. "When we disabled the trackers in your suit, its onboard VI activated a toxin dispenser. If we hadn't had medics right there, you wouldn't have woken." She smiled a little. "Rachni have a thing for toxins, if you didn't know. They are very good with them, both the toxins and the antidotes now that they have reason to use them."

"Rachni were extinct." Korri said slowly. Illia nodded and the quarians continued slowly. "But now they are not?"

"That is a long story." Illia replied. "It involves greed and scientists with less common sense than a houseplant should have." Korri stared at her and then shivered. "For now? You are safe. We are building you a new suit, but you will need to be fitted for it. We have one of your father's self contained fabrication systems coming. It has a suit fabricator."

"A what?" Korri asked. "But..." She shook her head. "Where do the geth come into this?"

The humans looked at each other and then at Illia who shrugged. Jak spoke when no one else did.

"Well… From what I understand… It is like this... I was a patient in a mental ward. A human institution for the insane..."

* * *

Two hours later

Korri was crying softly and Lara was crooning to her as Jak finished explaining what he knew of his own past.

"...and then the geth found Lara and me on that slaver ship." Jak took a breath and continued. "Lara was all but dead. I was all but dead. But I was sending information in recognizable fashion and Lara was responding. Or she was sending and I was responding, they didn't know which. They were curious. I didn't remember any of this until recently. I cut myself off from them, to save a ship foll of colonists. Lara?"

"My first view of your father, Korri, was waking to find a blank faceplate in my view. I was strapped down and unable to move." Lara bowed her head. "I um… I screamed a lot. Not that I made any noise, the bullet that hit me tore through my speech center. It took the geth over six weeks to put my head back together, but they were motivated and careful. As a bonus, they worked hard to keep me all organic, no mechanical parts."

"And yet..." Korri mused. "You could still communicate with them and with Jak."

"Not sure how." Lara agreed. "But it works and I am glad it does." She smiled and hugged Korri again." The quarian hugged her back. "Illia?" She asked. "You had an idea?"

"Do you know anything about quantum entanglement, Korri?" At the quarian's look of bafflement, Illia shook her head. "Never mind. Suffice it to say, what the rachni do and now you three can is not telepathy, mind reading or anything like that. But it works similarly to what tales among my people and others say telepathy should work like. Someone says something in their mind and I hear it in mine. I try hard not to pry." She reassured Korri when the girl looked worried. "My queen takes her ethics very seriously and so do I."

A feeling of reassurance swept through the music that was still surrounding the four of them. Korri smiled at that and then she looked at the floor.

"I… Um..." The quarian shook her head. "Please don't hate me, but..." She paused as Jak coughed.

"Whatever you are going to say, Korri, we wont' hate you." Jak said with a smile as Lara hugged the quarian again. "But let me guess. Before you left, someone in Fleet security told you to betray us. Either let them know where you go or something like that." Korri stared at him, eyes huge and Jak sighed. "Korri, I know black ops when I see them. I lived such for years. The Admirals likely didn't know about what was done to you. Did they? I cannot see Shala'Raan for one condoning poisoning you. She doesn't seem the type for such tactics."

"I..." Korri swallowed hard and shook her head.

"Oh, Korri." Lara exclaimed, hugging the quarian tight. "You can talk here. No one else can hear you but us and we won't judge."

"After my first attempt, I woke somewhere I didn't know." Korri muttered. "They did things to me. I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I didn't!" She seemed to shrink as Lara held her.

"What did they do to you, girl?" Lara demanded, her face angry.

"I don't remember it all." Korri was crying again as Lara held her. "It hurt and then it felt good. It was weird. I couldn't see and then there were pretty colors. I felt so strange. I couldn't think clearly."

"That was likely the plan." Jak's face was a terrible thing when the others looked at him. "After all, who is the best spy? Someone who _cannot_ be a spy. Who would suspect a crazy person of being brainwashed?"

" _Brainwashed?_ " Lara and Korri exclaimed. Illia would not meet their eyes when they looked at her.

"Illia?" Korri asked, a bit timid.

"There is a sour note in your mind, Korri." Illia said with a sigh. "The queen identified it. The hive is working to ease it or erase it, but they fear causing more damage. You are so hurt, girl. They do not want to cause more. It has likely added to your mental instability. Your body will sleep for some time to recover. Your mind, we can keep occupied with music until we can heal the damage."

"That sounds like the kind of thing Cerberus would do." Jak said with a snarl as he laid a hand on Korri's shoulder.

"It wasn't Cerberus." Korri said quietly as Illia laid a hand on her head. "They were all quarians, but no one ever spoke to me. They just did things now matter what I begged or promised. I woke back in the medical bay and thought it a nasty dream. Until I got instructions and obeyed them." She shook her head. "I nearly set fire to the _Rayya_ because I was trying not to do what they told me to do!"

"And you couldn't tell anyone." Jak sighed and hugged her. "Because who could you trust?" Korri nodded, silent. "Well, trust _us_ , Korri." Jak said with a grunt. "We are not going to let you go without trying everything we can." She shook her head mutely and Jak sighed. "Illia, she cannot believe us. Can we link to her? Like Lara and I are? We need to show her and there is simply no way she will believe it any other way."

"Jak..." Illia stepped back, her eyes worried. "If you do, she may not be able to separate. You and Lara cannot without killing each other."

"Good." Jak said with a smile as he took Korri's head in his hands. "Lara? Do you remember what Zumin taught you? My memories are secondhand and fuzzy." Lara smiled and nodded, shifting her grip to hold Korri's hands.

"What are you-" Korri's eyes bulged as Jak's hands were suddenly glowing with dark green energy. "What? No!"

"Tell me true, Korri." Jak said as she froze in place, eyes wide in terror. "What is the _single_ thing you want most in your life? What have you desired your entire life and been denied at every turn?" He took a deep breath and then blew out half of it, focusing himself. "I know what I wanted. I wanted to belong again. I had it in the Alliance, for a time. Until I was hurt. Then I was always on the outside, looking in. I wanted to be part of something and I was always a bit apart. Always alone in a crowd."

"No, please." Korri begged. "You cannot trust me. They did things to me. I was..." She broke off as Lara laid a finger over her lips.

"Korri." Lara said softly as energy flared from her to encase Korri in a cocoon of glowing white light. "I enslaved people. Three hundred and thirty seven sentients came into my care and I put wires in them, made them less than people. Things. I did that, Korri and I will never be able to forget it or forgive myself for it. I was a slave too, so I had no choice, but I did it. I did it to _Jak_."

"I killed people, Korri." Jak was very quiet as the energy from his hands encompassed her head, surrounding her as Lara's white energy seeped though every cranny and crack. "I was a murderer. In war, there is no 'fair'. There are those who survive and those who do not. I survived. Your father was a prisoner of war, Korri. Not a member of the Migrant Fleet. He didn't hurt anyone, did he?"

"No." Korri sounded distant now, her eyes had gone far away. "What are you doing?" She asked, mildly.

"Connecting our neural linkage to you." Lara replied as her energy coalesced with Jak's around Korri's head. "Sister."

"Sister?" Korri inquired, her tone small. "But… I..."

"No 'buts'. Sister." Jak said with a grunt as power flared around them both. Illia stepped back again, eyes wary. "You are not alone. You will not _be_ alone. We have a proposal for you, if you wish. But only after we have helped you the way we can."

"I am not worth this." Korri said weakly.

" _We_ disagree." Jak and Lara chorused quietly as the energy flared and then vanished. Korri gave a small cry of fear and then her face turned to wonder as Jak and Lara released her.

"What?" Korri stared at Jak and then at Lara who smiled ta her. "And they said _I_ was crazy!" She protested. "That could have killed you _both!_ "

"And leaving you to cry alone in your mind would have killed _you_." Lara said with a grin as she hugged Korri again. "Welcome, sister."

"But if I am _brainwashed_..." Korri pleaded, staring at Illia who shrugged.

"Brainwashing works on a single mind, Korri." Jak spoke as if from experience. No one asked. "I have heard stories about mass brainwashing, but alien minds are alien. Different physiology, different mindsets. I am not going to lie. There is danger. But I was a pilot, Lara is a medic and you… You can be whatever you want to be now."

For a long, long moment, Korri just stared at Jak, eyes huge. Then she slowly closed her eyes and opened her mouth. The song that came from her lips was in no language that Jak knew. Lara was equally mystified, but the tune was beautiful. Korri slowly stood up, Lara helping her when the quarian would have stumbled. Jak simply retreated to stand with Illia as Korri continued to sing. Illia winked at Jak and he smiled. It was clear when that this was what Korri wanted because she was suddenly standing erect, her features proud and haughty as she glared around. Then, like waft of dream, the song was gone and the old Korri stood there, her posture timid.

"Damn, girl.' Lara shook her head as she hugged the quarian. "That is _talent_. I _sing_ , you _make music_. There is a big difference. Holy, I wish I had a recorder in here!" Illia just smiled when they looked at her, but said nothing.

"I didn't think I was any good." Korri said weakly as Lara hugged her tighter. "I never sang in public before."

"Let me guess." Jak said savagely enough that Lara recoiled, staring at him in shock. "Someone told you, over and over, that you were worthless, useless?"

"My foster father." Korri said softly, eyes downcast. "He had no other children. Just me."

"Well, he didn't know _everything_. Especially about kids" Jak stepped forward and hugged Korri as well. "Sister, no matter _what_ , you are not alone. We may not be able to be separated from each other, but feel my mind. Do I want that?"

"No." Korri sounded stunned. She stared from him to Lara who smiled wider and hugged her again. "You both want me to sing for you and never stop as long as it makes me happy. But the Fleet, the geth, I..." She slumped.

"Korri, we are all broken." Jak spoke softly as he and Lara held their newest sister and she shuddered as they held her. "What we all need is a fresh start and I think I may know where to find one."

"Together?" Korri asked as Lara and Jake embraced her and her arms came up to enfold them as well. She was hardly the only one crying now.

"Together."


	19. Chapter 19

**To remember**

Asgard System

Jak took a deep breath and squared his shoulders.

Getting to this system had been an adventure in and of itself. Korri was still slumbering in her cocoon. Lara had been up, but then she had suffered some kind of relapse and was back in the rachni medic's clutches. Um… That was the wrong word. They might have _looked_ horrific and the tiny workers that swarmed over and around her in her nutrient bath might have given any human the creepy crawlies, but the rachni as a whole were kind, gentle and more than bit on the humorous side. That was leaving out their music, which even now sang through him.

That wasn't the problem.

Illia had had gotten him here in a ship that looked fairly standard, but only on the outside. The courier ship had apparently been hers before her fateful encounter with the rachni and she had upgraded it significantly beyond spec even before that. With rachni tech? The ship flew like a dream. Illia had let Jak take the controls for the final landing -an incredible show of trust- and he had been pleased with the craft's handling. He hadn't been a vac jockey very much, but some skills one simply did not forget especially when the owner of the ship was watching you like a hawk. Or a huge insectoid alien.

 _That_ wasn't the problem.

"It will be all right, Jak." Janice stood beside him, resplendant in an Alliance uniform that bore subdued _captain's bars_! She was Alliance reserve! He hadn't known that. She didn't remember anything after they had encountered her on the Cerberus ship and Illia had fuzzed her memories of her son out of kindness. As far as she knew, Jak and Lara had escaped, rescued her and managed to get off the ship with Illia's help. How Illia had managed to get there and then away had been left conveniently blank.

"Sorry, Captain." Jak swallowed as he gave his own uniform a shake. He hadn't worn his dress uniform in a long, long time and it felt alien over the skintight covering that the rachni had insisted he wear. After seeing the covering tested? It had taken a direct hit from a Carnifex pistol at point blank range and hadn't been indented at all! He put it on with no quibbling after that. "Never understood why you always called me by my rank. I was… um..." He slumped. "I am stalling."

"No one blames you." Janice laid a hand on his shoulder and nodded to him. "What you went through would have broken anyone, Jak. Anyone. I am amazed you trust me after what I did." Jak just looked at her and she flushed. She dropped her hand quickly. He was armed. _She_ wasn't. "Yeah. Right."

"Cerberus has always been good at hurting people, Janice." Jak said with a frown. "Always. I reported the attempt they made to recruit me and my team. We didn't trust them and a good thing. Black Ops are bad enough when they don't go off the rails like the Illusive Man did. You were stuck, Janice. I understand, but trust will be hard to get back."

"And you are leaving after this." Janice frowned as Jak did not react. "No one will say where to."

"Dunno." Jak shrugged as an usher appeared nearby and waved to them. He started forward. "Showtime. Not a hot LZ, but I am shaking."

To her credit, Janice did nothing but stand there, offering what support she could.

"'One more, unto the breach, dear friends, once more'." Jak quoted softly, Janice smiled at the reference and nodded Then he started for the usher, Janice at his heels. She was his escort for this, detailed to keep tabs on his health while he did something incredibly stressful.

It wasn't a long walk. The building wasn't large. Jak had been told that it would eventually become a visitor information kiosk with attached restrooms. The usher led the way outside and a small crowd was gathered in front of… Jak inhaled sharply as he saw the statue.

Just as it had been described to him, it was a Mantis gunship in flight. Full size, with all the proper attachments that were not classified. It was made of metal and for just a moment, he could hear the engines roar, he could hear Horst's final call, Christie's final moan. The memorial was set in a small groove of recently planted saplings. When they were grown, the gunship would look as if it were flying between them, his preferred altitude for combat. He looked neither left nor right as he strode toward the statue and the small stage that had been erected in front of it. He jerked as one of the Alliance soldiers interspersed through the crowd saluted him. He started to return it, but suddenly, every soldier in the crowd was saluting. Him. He stopped at the base of the stage, spun the crowd and gave a parade ground salute that ended right where it should, crisp and clean. He dropped his and the others did the same. Only then did the applause start. He flushed bit and hurried onto the stage as the clapping continued.

Jak nodded to the woman who had been the sole person on the stage. The governor of the colony. McPherson something. He couldn't possibly remember everyone who he had been introduced to. She held up a hand and the applause died.

"We gather today to remember the fallen." The governor said into sudden silence. "To remember those who cannot speak. We remember their names." She looked at Jak and then at the sky. "Almost nine years ago, our colony was attacked. Many have blamed the Alliance for not defending everywhere with everything, but most know that such is impossible. The attackers came for our wealth and our souls. They came to take us into slavery. They had many trained fighters and we had few weapons, no training and no hope." She was crying softly as she turned to Jak. "What we did not know...What _no one_ knew.. was that we had _help c_ oming. Our desperate call for help was _heard!_ "

She shouted the last at the sky. Jak stood ramrod straight as the crowd murmured.

"We didn't know what to expect." The governor said sadly. "We didn't expect _one_ gunship to pull out of the night. We hadn't known that an Alliance force was nearby. Did _anyone_?" She asked Jak.

"No comment." Jak said and more than one person laughed at that.

"Figured you would say that." The governor smiled but that smile fell. "We were disappointed. We were angry. Furious, actually. Here we were, facing a horror that few could comprehend and the Alliance sent _one_ gunship with _one_ fireteam?" She bowed her head. "They _didn't_ send you. You came on your _own_. No one else was close enough, so you came. You came." She was crying hard now and Jak fought back a sigh. He laid a hand on her arms and she smiled at him through her tears. She dashed them away and when she spoke again, it was calmer. "I had no idea what one fireteam and one gunship could do. I learned that day. When the noises finally faded and we dared to exit the city's disaster bunker, we found bodies. Over a hundred slaver bodies. Not _one_ got within a meter of our bunker entrance. Your team… held them off. Held them away. Made them flee before they could take our children. The enemy took slaves from other places and herded them onto their ship. Before they could get away though, you returned. I found out later you had been holding off _two_ enemy gunships similar to your own. You destroyed them both."

"HOOYAH!" Came a shout from the crowd and Jak had to smile as more than one of the civilians returned the Alliance Special Forces battlecry with interest. He banished it quickly.

"So when this pilot returned, he found the slavers retreating. They had broken on the team's line and they lost all stomach for it after that. Seeing the gunship return? They started to flee." She bowed her head and Jak did the same. "They had fifty seven people in the pod they were taking up to their ship. We all know people who were in that pod." The governor said flatly and many in the crowd nodded. "Their memorial is their work. The work of their hands, their need to do something. Because when the slavers tried to take the pod aboard, _somebody stopped them!_ "

She shouted the last. A hungry murmur went around the crowd. It died as a form stepped forward. A small girl, she was about nine. She had dark skin and dark hair, but bright blue eyes and she was holding a bouquet of flowers. She stepped up to the stage and smiled a bit shyly at Jak before nodding to the governor.

"Melissa here was selected as spokeswoman for the group." The governor said with a nod of her own. "She has something to ask you, Lieutenant Collains."

Jak looked at the girl. Was this part of the script?

"Why 'Walrus'?" The girl asked as she held the flowers out to Jak who took them, bemused. Jak flushed a little and she shook her head. "We had a lot of questions, but most of those my mom and dad say you cannot or will not answer. So, we decided on that one. Why did you call yourself 'Walrus'? They don't fly, do they?"

"They can if you fire one out of a cannon." Jak replied automatically. A gasped laugh went around the crowd, but the girl smiled widely and relaxed. Jak smiled at her. "Seriously? My first day in Basic Training, I was a bit overweight and not in very good shape. It wasn't very pretty. My Drill Instructor called me a walrus when I was trying to run." The girl's eyes went huge and Jak smiled. "It stuck. By the time I was in flight school, it was 'Walrus this' and 'Walrus that'. It became part of who I am."

"I am glad you survived." Melissa said weakly, looking scared now. Jak sighed, bent down and opened his arms. She swarmed into hem, giving him a tight hug. He tensed as she whispered. "There are strangers here. They are dressed like locals, but no one knows them."

"You are a good girl, Melissa." Jak said out loud. She stared at him and he nodded slightly. "I am glad I was here to help and I know my team felt the same way. Our job was to get between people who could not fight and those who wished them harm." As he looked over the crowd, he could see several people suddenly tense. Nothing happened and he nodded to the girl. "Tell me, did you help make this?" He waved at the memorial.

"I did." Melissa said proudly.

"This is a good thing." Jak nodded to her and she moved to stand by the governor. "Those of us who serve or have served know the costs. It is not always politically correct or polite to remember those costs, but some will. I am reminded of another memorial." His eyes went far away as he remembered one of his few trips in Basic Training. "Most of us have heard about the SSV Normandy. Shepherd's ship." He looked around and many heads in the crowd nodded. "Not many today know that in a place called Normandy on the sixth of June in 1944 on Earth, more than a million men waded ashore onto a beach, many under fire from entrenched positions to liberate a land that had fallen to ruthless invaders. I went there once, on leave. I stood on the beaches and marveled at what had happened. I walked through square kilometers of white crosses, each denoting a fallen soldier. The grass was _exactly_ half an inch high everywhere in that cemetery."

"What?" Melissa asked, eyes wide. "Grass doesn't grow like that."

"No, it doesn't." Jak agreed. "The reason it grows no higher is that the men and women who tend the cemetery go out every _day_ , rain or shine and cut it. In some places, by _hand_. They _remember_." At that, Melissa stiffened and Jak waved at her. "No, I am not saying do that _here_!" He stage whispered to general laughter as Melissa relaxed. "What I am saying is do not forget, but also do not forget _why_ they did what they did. The men at Normandy did not do what they did to be remembered. My team and I did not do what we did to be remembered. We did it because we could and it had to be done. You know what, Melissa?" She shook her head bemused by all this. "Even with everything, seeing you standing here whole and safe? I would do it _again._ "

She stared at him and her brave front collapsed. She started crying and a man stepped forward from the crowd as Jak scooped her up. He held her out to the man who resembled her and the man nodded silently taking his daughter and melting back into the crowd.

"It was the job." Jak said into the utter silence that had fallen. "It wasn't fun. It wasn't glorious or glamorous or whatever. I chose to do the job. _We_ chose to do the job. We put on the uniform, we take the pay, we get the knocks and the scars, but in the end, the job needs doing. Better us than some half trained merc who will run as soon as he sees something go wrong."

He was stunned as _everyone_ in the crowd, uniformed and not, all raised their hands in salute. The governor spun and did the same. Jak sighed as he returned it.

"Be _glad_ my old Drill Instructor is not here."

"She _would_ drop the _lot_ of us for _pushups_."

* * *

Later

He was so tired. It had been a very exhausting day, but it wasn't done yet. After the memorial had been dedicated, there had been a reception and way too many people to remember. He had seen Melissa again though and her mom and dad, both of whom had thanked him for saving their lives. That mantra had continued all day and into the night. He was tired, so tired. But if there _were_ strangers here… His plans were set.

"Jak?" Janice looked worried as she came out of the restroom.

"Just tired, Janice." Jak said with a smile as she took in his civvies. He had taken off his dress uniform and stored it carefully. It was unlikely he would need it again, but who knew? He was in the reserves now, just like Janice, if highly unlikely to be called. "Better get going or you will miss your flight."

"Part of me wants to stay." Janice said softly. "I don't know what Cerberus did to my boy, but whatever it was, it wasn't good, was it?" Jak shook his head. "I think I am going to put in my papers. Ryder asked me to go and I am. A fresh start."

"A clean slate." Jak said with a smile. "Maybe I will see you there."

"Jak..."Janice pleaded. "Come with me. They won't do anything in public."

"This is _Cerberus_ we are talking about, Janice." Jak said flatly. "You know how ruthless they can be better than many." Janice nodded, manifestly against her will. "Go. I will be fine. It is not like I am facing Cross here."

"He was Cerberus, right?" Janice asked. Jak nodded. 'I don't want to know how you know that, do I?" Jak shook his head. "Were you?"

"No." Jak sighed. "My own team was black, but never quite that bad. We shared intel with some of them but nothing else. Good riddance after what they did to Kahoku. They do not own me."

"They probably think they do." Janice was wavering.

"Janice. Go. Now." Jak said flatly. He paused as she stepped forward, bent down and kissed his cheek. His hand shot to his cheek as she smiled. "Janice!"

"Hey, I am a nurse, not _dead_." The woman said with a sly grin. "I can be jealous of Lara's good fortune. I… hope to see you. Wherever and whenever we end up."

"Me too." But Jak was speaking to empty air. The door hissed shut behind her and Jak was alone in the room. The penthouse was paid for the weekend, a gift of the colony. He had tried to demur, but the governor had insisted and Jak had been too tired to argue too much. It was a little gaudy for his taste, the ceiling was all mirrors that could be set to reflect or not. The rest of it wasn't much, this particular part of Terra Nova wasn't very well settled even now. But four stories was nothing to sneeze at on a colony world. He closed his eyes and spoke in a normal tone. "She is gone and what surveillance they had here is disabled. You can come out now."

A hint of air movement. He wasn't alone. But he hadn't been since he had arrived. Janice hadn't had a clue and he had wanted her far away from what was about to happen.

"You haven't lost your touch. Still eyes in the back of your head?" The voice was familiar but not quite clicking. Jak did not open his eyes.

"No." Jak replied, still not moving. He knew he was in danger, but so was the other. His hands were hidden by the armrests of the chair he sat in. "The girl saw strangers in the crowd. Takes no imagination to know _who_ might want to be there incognito to do their dirty deeds."

"Let's not do anything hasty, Lieutenant." The other cautioned. "The boss wants to talk to you."

"Your _boss_ can kiss my _ass_ , Cerberus." Jak snapped, eyes slitted. He saw what he expected. A female form stood in shadow. The Carnifex pistol in her hand was no surprise. He couldn't make out her face, but he _did_ know the voice. It wasn't supposed to be possible, but hey, with Cerberus bringing back _Shepherd_? What _wasn't_?

"I am shocked. No _bubble gum_ , Christie?"


	20. Chapter 20

**Plans New and Old**

Christie stepped out of the shadows and Jak did his best not to snarl at the white, black and orange lightweight armor she wore. Not combat armor, but far more protection than his civvies.

"HQ figured a familiar face might meet less resistance. Silly that. Told them so. You are not surprised." The woman he had known as Christie Susansdottor said with a small frown.

"Why would I be?" Jak asked mildly. "Cerberus breaks every other law. Why not cheat _death_ too?"

"You have cost us a lot, Jak." Christie chided him gently. "I know what happened wasn't your fault. Hell! I _agreed_ with your nutcase plan. As you said at the memorial, it was the right thing to do. But I was in rehab for over a year after I was pulled from the wreckage after the crash. So you don't have a monopoly on angst."

"Never said I did." Jak replied, still not moving. "But I swore to serve the Alliance, not a power mad nutcase who enjoys killing people."

"It is not like that, Jak." Christie sighed. "Don't be that way. We just want to talk."

"Like you talked to _Admiral_ _Kahoku_." Jak asked. Christie actually flinched at that and Jak pressed his advantage. They had both worked for the man and liked him. "Yeah. Great discussion there."

"He betrayed-" Christie started, only to freeze as Jak snarled at her.

"He never _worked_ for you!" Jak snapped. "He worked for the _Alliance_ , for _humanity_. You know, the _human race?_ The people who _rely_ on soldiers to protect them from enemies foreign..." He grunted. "... _and_ domestic. He was asking questions about his missing men. He was getting close to your scum, so you killed him. Did you do it _personally_?" He demanded. "Did you _enjoy_ it?"

"It is not like that, Jak." Christie said with a glower of her own. Her Carnifex did not waver. "You do not understand."

"Then enlighten me, oh wise guru." Jak snapped. "Or did you find a Cerberus slogan in a bubble gum wrapper and decide to join up then?"

"I joined Cerberus after they put me back together, Jak." Christie said quietly, back on even keel. "They had a team moving to aid the colony when we did. That team found me in the wreckage of the gunship after the crash. I had been left for dead but wasn't quite."

"'Aid'. As in 'take anything not nailed down and maybe some slaves too'?" Jak demanded.

"No Jak!" Christie replied with a bit of heat. "A medical team and escorts!" Jak glowered at her and she flushed. "Yeah. I know. From the facility we were supposed to hit."

This _had_ to actually be Christie. No one else alive other than Hackett know that the team Jak had been carrying had been tasked to take out an illegal research facility. A fairly nasty one dedicated to creating biological weapons. He hadn't known it was run by Cerberus, but it wasn't that surprising. Nasty was what they _did_.

"We both know this is going to end with you pulling that trigger, Christie, so go right ahead and do it." Jak sank back into the chair, eyes closing most of the way. He glanced up at the ceiling as was not surprised at what he saw in a few of the reflections. "Go ahead. Double tap me. Be a good little goon."

"Jak, we just want to _talk!_ " Christie protested.

"Like you did before?" Jak demanded. "Hernandez? That was talking." Christie flushed again. Dead on target. "Too bad Hackett was onto him _before_ the asshole tried to drug me for kidnapping."

"That was...ill advised." Christie admitted. "But Jak..."

"Oh and how can I _forget_ being _abducted_ , scanned against my _will_ and _then_ waking up with no clothes in a room with a young girl who _also_ has no clothes on. Both of us _doped_ so we spread our legs for each other?" Jak demanded. " _Also_ a fine _discussion_!"

" _What?_ " Either Christie had become a much better actress than she had been or she was genuinely shocked by that. Then again, he _had_ warned her what would happen if she did such to him again. "When was _this_?"

"Don't tell me your boss doesn't _know!_ " Jak snapped, still not moving or opening his eyes further.

"I know a lot." A new voice sounded and Jak sat bolt upright as a hologram appeared nearby. It seemed to come from a hovering ball thing. The man was sitting in a chair and his eyes were the only part of him that were clear. Blue, metallic eyes. Jak had never met the man, but he knew who this was. "More than you can imagine."

"Well, well, well." Jak shook his head. "The grand high poobah himself. The mighty Illusive Man come to talk to the peons? Or just to _piss_ on them as you usually do?"

"And you, Mister Collains, are as charming as Miss Susansdottor claimed." The Illusive Man said mildly. "But I would like an answer. What happened?"

"Don't tell me your people didn't abduct me, Lara and Janice from the asylum." The withering irony in Jak's tone might have cut steel. "Don't even _try_."

"We did." The Illusive Man said quietly. "We needed to know why you and the girl exhibited such close brainwaves. We also wanted to know what happened to Doctor Hernandez. We want to know what happened after that." Jak looked at him, then at Christie and then back at the holo. "We are not enemies, Mr. Collains."

"Could have _fooled_ me." Jak sat back and closed his eyes most of the way. They flitted to the ceiling. Soon now. "When you try to get me to rape someone, it crosses you off my 'friend' option permanently."

"Sir…" Christie said weakly. "Did you order that? Oh, my god. You _did_ , didn't you?" She pleaded when he did not respond. "Oh shit. Sir, that was a very _bad_ idea."

"I see you remember." Jak said in a soft, silky voice. "I _did_ warn you about that. After you got me drunk and faked having sex with me."

"Jak, _don't_!" Christie had her hands up now, the pistol dangling from one hand as she begged. "Sir, he feels very strongly about that. _Very_ strongly! Jak... We can… We can work this out."

"Can we?" Jak asked slowly. "Yeah. Drug me up and get me to rape as many women as he wants to try and breed an ability. Not that he _can_ , but hey, why would _he_ care about silly things like ethics or morals? Do you get your jollies from such things?" He asked the holo. "Or is it something sicker? Necrophilia maybe after what you did to Shepherd?"

"Shepherd was an expensive mistake." The Illusive Man said with a small frown as Jak smiled wide. "Mr Collains, you do not seem to understand the situation."

"No, it is _you_ who does not understand the situation." Jak said flatly. "Want to clue him in, _Warrant Officer_?" He smiled wider as he glanced at the ceiling. "If that woman with the stun baton takes another step, she will hit a mine." Tactical cloaks shimmered out of existence at that all around the room. Yep, a full squad.

"Mines? EVERYBODY FREEZE!" Christie screamed as Jak's hands came up. One with a Predator pistol, the other with his omni-tool live. "And _whatever_ you do, DO NOT try to disarm those! He _always_ booby trapped them!"

"Party pooper. I wanted to see one try and get blown to pieces." Jak sighed as he shifted to get more comfortable. He put the pistol in his lap, focused on his tool. He glanced around and eight forms in Cerberus armor stood with weapon ready, but none were aimed just yet. Two women, six men, all terrified from their postures. He smiled as he pressed a button on his omni-tool. All of a sudden the room was crisscrossed with now visible red lines, laser triggers for mines. They were everywhere. He had armed them when Janice had left. It was pure luck none of the Cerberus goons had tripped any as they had entered. Then again, he had tried to figure out how _his_ team would have done such a snatch and planned accordingly.

"How the hell? He is a _pilot_." One of the men said weakly. "Not a _marine_."

"Be glad." Jak said with a grin that might have frightened a shark. "If _Horst_ were here, this whole _floor_ would likely be one big fuel air explosive ready to go. For such a mild mannered girl, she _did_ like making things explode." Everyone looked at Christie who made a face and nodded. "We have nothing to discuss, Illusive Man. I had just hoped to get more than _nine_ of your scum."

"If you die, according to our data so does the girl Lara. You would kill yourself and her for this." The Illusive Man asked, eyes speculative. "What of Miss Susansdottor?"

"What _of_ her?" Jak asked mildly. "She made her choice. I made mine." He reached for his omni-tool again, but paused as the Illusive Man held up a hand.

"Mister Collains." The Illusive Man sounded tired, but not worried. Then again, he wasn't physically present, was he? "We need you."

"You need a proctologist to get your head out of your ass.." Jak snapped. "You want me, I don't want anything to do with you. Impasse."

"Not really." The Illusive Man smiled as the laser triggers suddenly went out. "Anything technological can be hacked, Mister Collains. Even booby traps."

"True." Jak shook his head a little as the Cerberus troops started to close in slowly, wary of his pistol that hadn't left his lap. Christie did not move, he noted. She had seen that the safety on his pistol was on and her eyes were worried. Very worried. With reason. She knew that if he had thought he _needed_ it, he would have it off safe in such a situation. She knew him and he knew her. He eyed her. "How long in rehab, Christie?"

"Seventeen months. Four spinal fractures, shattered skull and lot of other mess." Christie said weakly. "Jak… I… I didn't know, I am sorry." He stared at her and made a snap decision.

"Zap! Z minus one." Christie's eyes went huge and then she hit the floor. " _Not her!_ Weapon free!" Jak snapped. The others stared at Christie as Jak shrank down into the chair as well. Then one of the Cerberus troops _disintegrated_. No other word did it justice. Pieces of him flew every which way and his blood coated two of the others as well as the wall and ceiling. A _large_ hole simply appeared in one wall and another in the far wall. "Watch your overshoot! You don't know what is downrange!" Jak called.

"Teach your grandma to suck eggs." Came a recognizable voice from a hidden speaker. _Commander Shepherd_ sounded downright _cheerful_. Another Cerberus troop vanished in a red mist. Everyone else wisely froze.

"For those who may be slow on the uptake..." Jak said mildly as he placed his pistol at his side. He wouldn't need it. "That is, indeed, Commander Shepherd, Council Specter and Hero of the Citadel, formerly of Cerberus employ. She was on her way here to come to the dedication but a little late after her adventures beyond the Omega 4 relay. When I called and asked if she could help me with a _canine infestation_ problem, she was happy to assist. Before anyone asks, I don't know where she is. Within a kilometer I assume with a good sight line."

"Good assumption." Shepherd said coolly. "Cerberus? Be cool and no one else dies. Be stupid and I can and will kill you all. Your armor won't save you from my Widow and neither will that _couch_." Jak had to smile at the looks on the two Cerberus troops who had hidden behind the useless furniture. "Jak, your ride is on the way, ETA three."

"Shepherd." The Illusive Man's holo wore a disgusted look now. "Still interfering."

"What can I say, Illusive Man?" Shepherd replied. "It is a gift." The sound of a shot came from the speaker and then another bolt flew out of nowhere. A trooper who had been surreptitiously raising a pistol lost her arm at the elbow and lay on the floor screaming before another grabbed her and started setting a tourniquet. "You want any of these, Jak?"

"No. I hope my fighting days are done." Jak slowly rose and stepped to where Christie still lay, her arms over her head now and her pistol thrown away. She stared up at him. "All else aside, Christie, I am glad you made it."

"I thought you were _dead_." Christie said weakly. " _Everyone_ was dead and I was lost. Nothing left. So much pain and fear, and so angry."

"I am looking for a fresh start, Christie." Jak said quietly as he looked at the few remaining Cerberus goons. "If you had the chance for such, would you?"

"Don't even think about it, Miss Susansdottor!" The Illusive Man snapped. Another bolt from the blue and the holo vanished. Jak stared as a sparking orb fell to the now ruined carpet.

"He talks too much." Shepherd said quietly from the hidden speaker.

"You don't _say_?" Jak let a hand down and Christie took it carefully. Then she inhaled sharply and collapsed as the drug on the needle he had hit her hand with took effect. It had done as designed, gone right through her armored glove. She crumpled and he pulled her up into a fireman's carry. He had planned on the possibility of a prisoner, but he hadn't planned on it being _her_.

"Don't start." Shepherd quipped. "One minute." The sound of a shot came from the speaker. "Snipers trying to set up on an adjacent roof. One less. Idiots."

"Even an idiot with a sniper rifle is still dangerous." Jak said mildly.

"Yeah, but if the enemy is in range, so are _you_ and there is zero cover up there." Shepherd replied as Jak opened the balcony door. Another shot cracked across the sky. Someone had to hear this and probably call the cops soon. "Almost as much cover as in that room."

"I don't think _these_ are going to do anything. They are not complete idiots." Jak said as he looked at the Cerberus troops who shook their heads quickly. "After all, Christie has to be trapped and they can likely track her to wherever she goes. But I have to try. I owe her that much."

There was no answer and Jak stepped onto the balcony as a shuttle in while and black swooped down and its hatch opened. Shepherd stood there in full N7 armor, a massive sniper rifle in hand. It went to her back and folded, but still looked _huge_.

"You were firing from a _shuttle_?" Jak asked, eyes wide as he stepped in, handing the unconscious woman to Shepherd who laid her on the seating, searched her quickly and then laid binders on her wrists. The hatch closed behind him and he moved to sit.

"I can neither confirm nor deny that." Shepherd replied with a grin. Jak groaned and Shepherd smiled a bit wider. "Let's get out of here. We will let the doc check her out when we get back to the Normandy."

"I can't stay, Shepherd." Jak said quietly as he shifted to sit beside Christie's slumbering form. He felt the shuttle accelerate more and sank gratefully into the cushions. "I am going to call Ryder, see if the offer is still open."

"You will be missed, Walrus." Shepherd said quietly. "I have to say? That whole trap was a thing of beauty. They had _no_ idea what they were stepping into. Pilot or no, you are one _sneaky_ son of a bitch. Getting _me_ to plant the mines while they focused on _you_ at the reception was _evil_."

"Didn't want you to get bored." Jak smiled at Shepherd's chortle and closed his eyes. He would rest them for a minute.

Just for a minute…

* * *

"Jak." A familiar voice pulled Jak back to awareness. He jerked and then relaxed as he realized he was still in the shuttle. But it was dormant now. Shepherd and Christie were gone, but he could hear the engines still cooling down, it hadn't been landed for long. Illia stood at the hatch, her eyes flashing. "You are an _idiot_ , you know that?"

"Been said." Jak stood up and stretched slowly. "Lara wake up?"

"Not yet. What the _hell_ were you _thinking_?" Illia demanded. "If they hadn't backed off… If Shepherd hadn't scared the shit out of them… If Christie had been faking being drugged _…_ They could have taken you. You _know_ that."

"No, they couldn't. Illia, I cannot live my life, whatever it is going to be now, in fear." Jak reached for his shirt and pulled out a small device. Illia's eyes went huge as she saw a detonator. He opened his shirt and her eyes nearly fell out of her face as she saw a series of small devices that had been hidden under the baggy civilian clothes. Trip mines set to directional blast on a command detonator. "Christie knew I was rigged separate from the room. She didn't tell them. I want to know why."

"Lara is going to kick your ass and Korri will _help_." Illia shook her head as Jak started to carefully divest himself of the explosives. "Korri _was_ awake for all of that, but couldn't get through to you."

 _I am sorry, Korri. I had to stay focused._ Jak sent and was immediately assaulted by rage, sorrow and grief. A wailing torrent of recrimination and fear all mixed with exasperation. _I am sorry. But I had to do this or they would never have let me go._

 _They won't anyway. You_ **know** _that._ Korri snapped, still furious. _If_ **I** _don't have the right to kill myself, why do_ **you** _?_

"Good question." Illia crossed her arms.

"It was a tactical decision." Jak said quietly as he finished disarming the devices and laid them aside. He had no idea where Shepherd stored such things and did not want to leave them lying about. "I didn't plan on dying, but I also couldn't let them take me or track us back to where Korri and Lara are. I knew Shepherd would have eyes on me the whole time. She is not infallible any more than I am, but she is damn good."

"Tell her the rest." Shepherd's voice pulled both of them to where the human stood near a door, her face cold and remote. She still wore her armor but no helmet. " _Them_ the rest." Jak shook his head and Shepherd sighed. "Fine, _I_ will."

"Shepherd..." Jak protested.

"When Jak contacted me just before the reception, he had a plan." Shepherd said sternly. "A _stupid_ one. I made him come up with a better one."

"If it is stupid and it works, it is not stupid." Jak said with a glower that bounced right off the woman's N7 armor.

"Don't you _dare_ quote Murphy at me." Shepherd speared a finger at him. "You knew I would help, You know how I feel about Cerberus."

"I wasn't totally sure." Jak admitted. "I figured even if you were serious about that, then the Illusive Man probably had your ship bugged. He would hear about the crazy and his men would be wary. I didn't know you were on the level until Christie showed up without a clue."

"He might be playing games still." Shepherd mused. "But Jak, that was _nuts_. How much of the building would have been left standing?" Jak shrugged.

"What was he going to _do_?" Illia looked and sounded a short step from horrified.

"He figured to fake his death. Not a bad plan in and of itself, but the _execution_.. Pilots do not generally go for low impact statements, Illia." Shepherd said with a grunt. "Joker is the same way. Why use a _grenade_ when you can use a _bomb_? Why use _one_ bomb when you can use _five_?" She shook her head. "Yeah, I had to help when he told me he was going to rig the _entire penthouse_ to blow. And his 'escape plan'?" She made air quotes. " _Fall_ four stories and _hope_ nothing important _broke_ when he landed."

 ** _JAK!_**

The mental shout came from many voices and Jak winced as Illia repeated it aloud. The asari and N7 looked at one another and then back at Jak whose heart fell at their matching expressions.

This was going to be a _loooong_ day.


	21. Chapter 21

**Making Dreams**

Jak was worried about this and he wasn't alone in that.

After his adventure on Terra Nova, Lara and Korri had both reamed him thoroughly for putting himself into harm's way. Every argument he had tried to use had been patiently demolished. And then not so patiently. And then _irately_. Finally, he had given up and apologized for his temerity in trying to keep them safe. That also hadn't gone over very well. It had taken most of the trip to this new location and this highly secure meeting place to get the girls to stop pestering him. They were all still unhappy, but there was no way at all he was going to let them -or Illia for that matter!- get trapped in a small room by _anyone_. It had taken getting the rachni queen involved to get Illia to agree not to follow him. Albeit grudgingly and he wasn't sure he trusted her compliance even now. She was sneaky as hell.

The only reason he was here at all was because a friend had made some calls for him. Speaking of...

"We still good?" Jak asked as he stared out the window at the Earth. He hadn't thought he would ever see it again, but here it was. Never in his wildest dreams had he ever imagined meeting anyone in this posh resort on Luna. Armstrong City no less! Just the _drinks_ in this place likely cost more than he had made as a pilot in a year, hazard pay or no.

"Everything checks out, Jak." Shepherd replied as she finished her security sweep. Specter tech was far better than the surplus Alliance issue that Jak had. "No bugs. No traps. Just a whole pile of money."

"Thank you." Jak said softly. Shepherd looked at him and he shrugged. "For everything. Being my backup on Terra Nova, for the ride here. And for not killing Christie." His face fell.

"Will you tell her?" Shepherd asked quietly. Jak bit his lip and shook his head. "I can understand that. She will have a hard road either way. I have a habit of 'rehabilitating' Cerberus personnel myself, so I shouldn't be hypocritical and criticize. But you will be careful?"

"Danger is the job, is it not?" Jak asked with a grin.

"Jak." Shepherd chided softly. "You saw the readings. Even Illia's employers are not convinced they can undo what was done to her without causing permanent harm."

"Yeah." Jak wilted a little. "Seeing her was a shock. Then the hope when she took my hand. I seriously expected her to pull a gun and you to have to shoot her."

"Me too." Shepherd blew out a deep breath. "I had her in my sights. Glad I didn't have to take that shot." She shook her head. "Hackett sent me a job. I need to get to it."

"Right, you better get out of here." Jak mused. "This is _not_ something the Council can acknowledge. For a lot of reasons. Shepherd…" He broke off, unsure of what to say.

"Calm seas and fair winds." Shepherd held out her hand and Jak took it. They shook and then she was gone.

"Godspeed, Commander." Jak replied and moved back to the window to drink in the view.

It wouldn't be long and he knew it. But he wanted to see what he had missed for so long. He had been born on Earth, trained there and taken leave there before shipping out but had only seen it from this distance once, as he had shipped out with the fleet. He had never been back. There was always one more mission, one more flight, one more enemy to face.

He turned as the door opened and again and Alec Ryder stepped in, followed by a woman Jak did not know. Jak nodded to Ryder and indicated chairs, but Ryder shook his head.

"Standing feels good. We sat on the tarmac for two hours until the weather cleared enough to launch the leg to orbit." Jak looked at him and the former N7 made a face. "All our advances and we still cannot fly through hurricanes."

"We _can_." Jak shrugged. "Just not safely. It is all about measuring risks."

"Is that your opinion as a pilot?" The woman asked, her eyes calculating.

"I have flown through hurricanes, Ma'am. Even with modern tech and kinetic barriers, it isn't safe. No commercial carrier is going to take such risks if they don't have to. The insurance costs alone would bankrupt anyone who was that silly regularly." Jak replied evenly, looking from her to Ryder. The older man made a face, but shook his head.

"Jak Collains? Meet Jien Garson." Alec waved to the woman who nodded. "Founder of the Initiative."

"You turned us down." Garson said calmly. "But now, you want to go. Why?" She demanded. Jak had expected such and was not worried about her temper.

"When Ryder came to me in the institute, I was still in the Alliance." Jak refused to let the woman's aggressiveness rattle him. "There was a chance I could serve. A very small one, maybe. But a chance." He shook his head as Alec made a face. "You heard."

"Yeah." Ryder sounded old and tired for a moment. "At least the Alliance cleared your pension."

"More than they did for you." Jak had no pity in his voice and Ryder shot him a look. "I...uh… Things changed."

"You vanished out of the asylum." Garson said softly. "With another inmate and a nurse."

"Lara and Janice, yes." Jak took a deep breath. "The nurse, Janice, had lost her husband and then her son disappeared. He had been taken by Cerberus." At that, Ryder and Garson stiffened. "They did something nasty to him and used him to get Janice to set up our abduction."

"Janice..." Ryder said softly. "Captain Janice Smith?" Jak nodded. "She just applied too."

"Her son is dead." Jak said quietly. "Cerberus killed him. She has nothing here and it wasn't really her fault." He shook his head. "You know how such tactics work." He said to Ryder. "If they had held her, they probably would have done the same to her, or worse. They didn't. When Lara and I escaped, we took her with us."

"You… _escaped_ … from a Cerberus prison." Garson said slowly. She didn't bother to hide her disbelief.

"Lab ship actually." Jak said with a shrug. "And that is not even the crazy part."

"Why should we believe any of this?" Garson demanded. "You were in a loony bin for a reason!"

"Do you have any recorders active?" Jak asked Ryder who frowned. He looked at Garson who looked upset now. "It is very important. Do you have any recorders active? There cannot be any record of this or you haven't _seen_ bad or overreactions."

"I don't." Ryder looked at Jak and then at Garson. "Jien, he may very well be the best pilot on our list. Even hurt as he is, he is better than me. Far better. Scum across the Terminus systems _still_ piss themselves at the mention of the Walrus."

"I am out of practice." Jak said with a small smile at the compliment.

"Twenty meters." Alec said with a matching smile.

"Can neither confirm nor deny." Jak replied.

"Boys!" Jien's hard exterior cracked for a moment and Jak saw a smile try to force its way out before she beat it into submission. "Why should we believe you?"

"Because I have proof." Jak replied evenly. "I didn't escape the Cerberus ship _alone_."

"The mute girl Lara and the nurse were with you." Ryder said slowly but Jak shook his head. "What?"

"Lara and I had nothing, not even clothes." Jak put hand into his pocket and fingered the orb there. "Janice is very good at what she does but she is a nurse, not Special Forces."

"So?" Garson asked snidely. "What did you do? Sing them to sleep?"

"Funny you should say that… That is sort of what happened. Then we were actually _rescued_." Jak mused. Ryder stiffened, staring at Jak who paused as Ryder drew a Phalanx pistol from somewhere. Garson looked shocked as Ryder took aim at Jak. "There is no need for that."

"Then explain the _geth tech_ in your pocket!" Ryder snapped. Garson recoiled a bit but did not retreat any further as Jak sighed and laid the orb on a small table nearby.

"You stole data on the Andromeda galaxy from the geth. From the array of telescopes they had set up." Jak said with a shrug as he raised his hands. "That was likely the only way you would have gotten it, but still..." He shrugged again. "Stealing it was kind of rude."

"How the _hell_ …?" Garson had paled. Ryder did not react.

"I was missing for just over two years after the attack on Terra Nova." Jak said quietly. "Some of that was as a prisoner. The slavers tried to do what they do and the wire they put into my brain impacted my pilot implant. It nearly lobotomized me. It _should_ have lobotomized me. It didn't."

"And?" Ryder demanded. Jak looked at him and then at the orb.

 _We are ready._ Ryder jerked, but his aim did not waver. Had he heard that?

"He is threatening you, Collains Pilot." The voice came from the orb and it was not human at all!

"Of _course_ he is. I don't blame him for being worried." Jak replied aloud. "They only know the heretics, AF-43765. All they know of geth is slaughter. Can you _blame_ them for fear?"

"No." The voice of the geth was sad. "But that device is only a receiver, it cannot cause harm."

"And they should _trust_ that?" Jak demanded, incredulous. "Geez, you know better than that!"

"That is a geth." Garson said weakly. Jak nodded. "And talking." Jak nodded again. "I didn't think that was possible."

"Neither did I." Jak chuckled a little. "Hell of a shock for me too. But um, Ryder… do you detect any signals going to the orb from outside the room?" Ryder just looked at him and Jak sighed. "Look, they are not hostile, I am not hostile. Shoot if you want, but it will kill _three_ people, not just me. Add to that, you will lose _two_ potential powerful allies."

"You and who else?" Garson asked, eyes wide.

"Not me." Jak slumped a bit. Win or lose, this was the final hand for this game. "You know the Reapers are coming." Neither of the others reacted and Jak nodded. "So do the geth. They are preparing, but they also want to hedge their bets."

"Preparing to so what?" Garson demanded.

"To fight the Reapers."

"Machines are preparing to fight machines?" Ryder asked coldly. "Yeah right. That signal is coming from inside the room. From _you_."

"Sort of." Jak replied, still not moving. Ryder couldn't possibly miss at this range. "Actually it is coming _through_ me from Lara. My wife."

" _Wife_?" An irate female voice sounded from the orb and both Garson and Ryder stared as Jak winced. Hard. "And _when_ were you going to tell _me_ about this?"

"Uh… Oops." Jak muttered. "I was _going_ to tell you, Honey, but then Christie..."

"Oh, we _are_ going to have _words_ , Mr Collains." Lara snapped.

"Okay Mea culpa. I screwed up. Let me finish before you kill me or whatever, Lara. _Please_?" Jak begged. Garson was smiling at that.

"There is no _way_ that is a geth." The financier said with a nod. "Lara, is it?"

"I cannot talk normally. If I was there in person, I would still have to talk through that." Lara replied through the orb. "I was hit in the brain and the bullet tore through my speech center. The fact that I survived was a miracle and the fact that somehow, Jak and I are quantum linked is another. But Jak and I are linked in a fundamental way."

"We can talk mind to mind." Jak said quietly. "No one has been able to figure out how it happened, but it is not just us. We have found one other who can. According to people who have mind science that the rest of the galaxy can only dream about, Lara and I are basically one mind that shares two bodies. Now Korri has joined us and we are a trio."

"And that doesn't stop me from being _angry_ with you!" Lara interjected and Ryder cracked a grin at Jak's pained expression. "We are three distinct people, but linked tight."

"So… You want to go." Garson shook her head. "Why?"

"I was told that your tech might be able to repair some of the physical damage." Jak said quietly. "It won't undo the link. Nothing can but death. Lara, Korri and I have nothing here but the potential to be lab rats for Cerberus or others who think it might be a weapon. It isn't, but try telling _them_ that. I have skills that I can teach even if I cannot fly, Lara has skills and talent."

"I am still not hearing a benefit or two powerful allies." Garson said mildly as Ryder finally lowered his pistol and holstered it a bit sheepishly.

"The geth think your arks are a good idea and want to help." Jak said quietly. Garson and Ryder both froze. "Your construction has to be nearly complete, or finished by now. But you are going to sleep for a _long_ time in dark space. Anything can happen. Cerberus would _love_ to get agents aboard."

"They have tried." Ryder growled. "Don't know that we caught them all, but we can hope."

"The geth 'acquired' the plans for your drives." Jak said with a nod. Ryder looked pained but Jak shook his head. "Your security is good. Incredible even. But these are _geth_ we are talking about. They _are_ software. You _cannot_ keep them out of computer systems. Good thing most of them have little interest in organic affairs."

"And they would be willing to…?" Ryder trailed off.

"To help." Jak said quietly. "Most geth are non-violent unless attacked. They were created by the quarians to serve their people. They helped me and Lara when they found us on a slaver ship that fled pursuit into the Perseus Veil. They had no reason to. Many reasons not to. They _chose_ to."

"They _helped_ you." Ryder used. "Why?"

"I was broadcasting uncontrollably on wavelengths they could read." Jak said with a wince. "My brain was not firing on all cylinders. They were curious. Especially when they realized that _Lara_ was responding to my signals with no detectable connection between us."

"A _natural_ QEC?" Garson inhaled as Jak nodded. "Like the rachni had?"

"Funny you should say _that_." Jak said quietly. "The _other_ ally that wants to come along will require no resources for the trip and their preferred planets are toxic to all but krogan." Garson and Ryder both paled. "And _that_ is the main reason why I wanted no recorders. There is _one_ queen now and she nearly died as a result of scientists with more greed than sense. She wants to spread her people out to prevent what nearly happened before and they can be a lot of help too."

"How…?" Garson shook her head. "How we can we _possibly_ believe that?"

"We thought about that. There is really only one way to prove that to you. We will want to sit." Jak put action to words, taking seat by the small table that held the orb. The other shared a look, but took seats as well. "Lara, you are up."

Jak smiled as rachni music soared from the orb. From the rapt looks on Ryder's and Garson's faces, he wouldn't have to argue much more at all.

* * *

Ten beautiful minutes later

The music finally faded and all three of the humans in the room heaved a sigh as it did. Jak could still hear it, faintly in his mind, but the others could not.

"That is… rachni." Garson was shaking her head. " _And_ geth." She slumped a bit. "Alec… We can't."

"I know, Jien. Jak, we have quarians coming with us. You know how they react to geth." Ryder said quietly. Jak nodded. "And we have a krogan clan coming too. Adding rachni into that mix is basically begging for a disaster. But you are not stupid. You knew that. So, you have to have a plan."

"How did you convince the quarians that AI was needed?" Jak asked softly. Ryder looked at him, but did not reply. "Hey, I am the _last_ person to judge _anyone_ 's relationship to AI after what the geth did for me. They _reassembled_ my _brain_ organically, molecule by molecule. From what I was told, it took weeks."

"They did the same for Lara?" Garson asked. Jak nodded. "I still do not understand why they would do that. What we know of the geth say they would simply kill you then turn you into husks if you are caught crossing the Veil."

"That was the heretics' doing, not the majority of the geth. The heretics are separate because they worship the Reapers as gods." Jak replied, looking away. Garso and Ryder both hissed. "I have touched the geth consensus and it is is nothing I can possibly describe. Just that knowledge is something that many would kill for. The rachni? Their involvement in this time _began_ when a corporation found an ancient egg and tried to make weapons out of it. We cannot stay here. Either we follow you, or the three of us go into exile. Maybe in the Veil, maybe somewhere else. The rachni had hidden themselves, the geth are preparing for war with the Reapers."

"Unless the quarians do something dumb first." Garson said with a growl. Jak nodded. "If what you say is true..."

"Yeah." Jak sighed. "The war between the quarians and geth is not needed, but the quarians cannot -will not- see that. They see war as the only chance for their people. There is too much history, too much anger, too many with no idea of what is actually happening who are moving now. This will _not_ end well. The geth do not want to fight, but they will in the face of destruction just as any organic would."

"All we can do is what we can do." Garson said philosophically. "But now I do understand your secrecy. So, what _is_ your plan?"

"Including me there are two humans and one quarian who want to go. There is another who may or may not decide to come. She is undecided at the moment. She will choose soon, we gave her until the end of this meeting."

"Is she also linked?" Alec asked slowly.

"No." Jak replied. "She is a clone of my weapon's officer who died on Terra Nova." Ryder frowned at that and Jak nodded. "Cerberus made her, but she doesn't know she is a clone. She thinks she is Christie Susansdottor and in most ways, she _is_." He chuckled but there was little humor in it. "Still as annoying as ever. If she stays here..."

"She dies." Garson said softly. "They will kill her." Jak bowed his head, arguments done. "Alec?"

"We have space. We have not filled every pod yet. We lack the resources to feed a quarian." Ryder said slowly, eyes far away. "But… If you are linked by this natural QEC, _can_ you go into stasis for so long? Six hundred years is a _long_ time to be separated." Jak smiled a little and Ryder tensed. "What?"

"How many shuttles are you taking?"


	22. Chapter 22

**Perchance to dream**

Jak opened his eyes and looked around. The room was clean and well lit, a standard recovery ward. He was alone in the room and he thought back. He remembered the long talk that he and Ryder had concluded. Then Jien Garson had formally invited him into the Initiative along with Lara, Korri, Christi and his allies. They had talked, but then Garson had been late for an appointment, so Ryder had led Jak to a shuttle and then… His memory fuzzed.

 _Jak?_ Lara's worried mind voice preceded the door opening. After all the anger she had thrown his way, the desolate look on her face as she stared at him cut him to the quick. _Oh, Jak, I am sorry!_

 _You had a right to anger, Lara. I didn't mean to spring that on you._ Jak said softly as he sat up completely. Her face lit up and it was as if the sun had come out in the room. She ran to his bed and hugged him tight. She was crying as she held him and he stroked her hair gently. "Garson was going to talk to the techs. Have they managed to get a voice working for you?" Lara's slump in his arms was all the answer he needed and he hugged her. "Well, I can still hear you." _Korri?_ He asked in his mind.

 _I am_ _back with Illia_ _. We have been taking turns sitting with you._ _The docs were hopeful_ _but were not sure what they could do_ _after so long._ Korri said weakly from wherever she was. Distance seemed to have no effect on the connection the same as a technological QEC communicator. _They put on a brave face, but the odds were not good. They said you would live, but not in what condition._

"I do not feel any different." Jak said quietly, looking at himself closely. He wore a blue and white patient gown with an insignia he hadn't seen before on it, a stylized A and I. It took no imagination to know what that signified. He could see monitors and tubes attached so he had been in the bed for a while. "How long has it been?"

 _Four days_ Lara said weakly as she hugged him tighter. _Four_ **days** _!_ She begged. _You were so pale, so still. It was like before._ She was crying harder now and he held her. _I didn't know if you were ever going to wake up._

"Hey. Don't cry, girl." Jak rubbed her hair and Lara calmed a little. "Last I remember, I was in the shuttle with Ryder."

"You fell asleep and when we landed, I couldn't wake you. I brought you to the docs straightaway." Ryder's voice preceded the former N7 into the room. He wore a worried expression that cleared as he saw Jak sitting up. "Lara and Korri met us when we here. They asked us to operate and got all the forms filled out. You were in surgery an hour later."

"You guys are fast." Jak said with a smile that fell. "How bad?"

"Every doc says the same. You were exhausted. Small wonder after what the girls told me about the last few weeks have been like for you." Ryder said with a grunt as he sat. "Sorry, long day herding quarians, turians, _and_ krogan."

"Krogan? _Cats_ might be easier." Jak said with an awed whistle.

"Cats don't generally carry _shotguns_ , no." Ryder said with a tired chuckle. "Anyway, the turians and krogan I can handle. No surprises there. The _quarians_ are being a pain in the ass about your friend Korri."

"Oh no." Jak groaned and Lara gave him another squeeze. "Will they let her go?"

"That is the odd thing." Ryder said with a frown. "The Admirals have all said yes, but others are saying 'No'." Jak's eyes narrowed and Ryder nodded. "Do you know what that is about? _Our_ people are cool with her. She is a trained exo medic and no crazier than any of the rest of us according to our psychologists."

"That is not my story to tell..." Jak started, only to pause as Korri spoke up in his mind.

 _You can tell him. He seems a good man._ The quarian sent a reassurance over the link. _I have talked with him a few times since you went into surgery._

 _You trust him?_ Lara sent, incredulous.

 _I…_ Korri paused and then sighed. _I think so. He believes that this is a good plan. That we can_ _go t_ _o_ _another galaxy and forge a new life there_ _. Either h_ _e_ _is totally crazy and has infected all of us, or he isn't and has given us his dream. Tell him. He can keep a secret if anyone can._

Ryder was looking at Jak and Lara as the Jak focused on the elder man again.

"Korri just said to tell you." Jak said quietly. "Her father wasn't a member of the Migrant Fleet." Ryder stared from Jak to Lara who nodded. "We knew him. We met him after…" He paused and made a face. This place wasn't a secure room and no one could know about the geth yet. Ryder nodded his understanding. "He helped patch up our injuries. He was blind, but it didn't slow him down at all. He was a good man, a good quarian. But he wasn't a member of the Migrant Fleet."

"How is that possible?" Ryder demanded. "I thought all quarians were in the fleet unless they went on pilgrimage?"

"The quarians who became his family left Rannoch before the end of the war with the geth." Jak said heavily. "We think they were asked to leave at gunpoint because they didn't want to exterminate the geth." Ryder's face turned thunderous and Jak held up a hand. "It gets worse."

"If it is _anything_ like some of what I have read in _human_ history..." Ryder sounded sick and Jak could relate. He had read some horrific things as well. Human history had produced a lot of horror and with the advent of modern media, it had been recorded much better. "...then I don't doubt it. What happened to her father?"

Korri was crying in Jak's mind. Lara and Jak both tried to soothe her. Lara held up the geth orb and looked a question at Jak who frowned and looked at Ryder.

"Without SAM's specialized scanner, no one else will know what that is." Ryder said after a moment. "Just try not to flash it around any of the other Pathfinders. "Mason wouldn't have a problem, he is all about results. Ishara would find it fascinating and maybe ask to use it to talk to… various groups. Reaka..." He winced. " _She_ would likely want to take it apart to see how it works. The others? Our support teams? Hard to say. So just… keep it quiet if you can. We have enough weird stuff to explain without a long range transmitter that _cannot_ be explained."

 _Korri?_ Jak asked gently. _Do you want to tell him?_

"I don't want to speak this." Korri's voice was sad and worn as she spoke from the orb. "But I must. I know I must face this. Both your docs and others have said I will have to face what happened."

"The shrinks refuse to tell me what you have discussed with them and good for them." Ryder said with firm nod. "But they did say you were brainwashed and emotionally abused for years." Jak tensed, but Ryder shook his head. Anyone else, they might have smiled. Not him. "They also say that you are making a hell of a recovery. They wish all their patients could benefit from whatever you are."

"Maybe someday, Pathfinder Ryder." Korri took a deep breath. "My father… He left a record of… of his life. I don't know for who. He didn't know about me. Maybe just to do it?" She sobbed a little. "His family had built a life for themselves. They had built a home in a frontier outpost on a distant colony. A number of quarian exiles had come together far from quarian space. They heard of the catastrophe that befell the quarian people, but they had little love for their people after their treatment."

"Can't really blame them for that." Jak muttered. He saw Ryder and Lara both nod.

"They just wanted to live their lives, build their families and forget what had happened." Korri said weakly. "Zumin was five years old, but he remembered a ship landing. People in suits similar to his family's but not quite the same. He remembered his father yelling at the newcomers to leave. He remembered his grandmother and his mother coming out of the house with old rifles they had bought to defend their livestock. Then he woke to pain in the dark. In darkness that would never end."

" _Shit_." Ryder shook his head.

"Zumin's family would not surrender what they had built." Korri said through tears. "So the quarians killed them all." Jak and Lara bowed their heads. Ryder just sat, stunned. "I don't think it was intended. From what some have said, it may have been an accident but in the end? Does it matter? They killed his family, hurt him very badly and took him prisoner. He escaped as soon as he was able. I cannot help but think they knew that they did evil and wanted to cover it up."

"Evil has many, many faces, Korri." Ryder said with a sigh. "I have seen more than my share. I wasn't there. I can't know."

"Neither were we." Korri agreed. "Anyway, my mom… I have been told she was a security guard posted to keep my father in check whole pretending to be a nurse. But part of me believes she fell in love with him. Part of me has to believe that. She died bringing me into the world and I… They were probably afraid I would flee like my father did so they made me crazy. Used that against me. Until recently, I had no idea all of what they had done. Jak and Lara and everyone have helped me so much. But I cannot, _will not,_ go back to the fleet."

"Stranger things have happened that a guard falling for who she was supposed to be guarding, Korri." Ryder shook his head again. "As for going back? Not a _chance_. They are not keeping you, girl."

"She has a family now." Lara said through the orb. "Us. Anyone who wants to argue that can come talk to _me_." Ryder looked at her oddly and she made a face. "Okay, okay. Come talk to _Jak_!"

"It is okay, Lara." Ryder rose from his seat and nodded to the group. "Just wanted to make sure you were okay, Jak. I am not really a people person."

"I wasn't one." Jak replied and then smirked at Lara. "Someone hit me pretty hard with a clue bat though."

"Anything lighter would have just bounced off your hard head." Lara retorted.

"Speaking of hard heads..." Jak said slowly. "We will have to talk to the quarians who are planning to come. Do they have a pathfinder?"

"Eh… not yet." Ryder shook his head. "They absolutely refuse to deal with the AI that makes pathfinders what we are. Not that I can really blame them for being cautious after everything they went through, but still, it makes things a bit more complicated. Since they also have drell, hanar and others on the ship, if we cannot persuade a quarian to do it, we are probably going to go with a drell named Oleem. He is very good but like I said, the quarians are being a pain."

"I will talk to them." Korri said through the orb. "But I am not going back."

"No one will make you. You chose to join us and we stand by our people." Ryder promised. "You are a functioning adult, no matter what some may say. Hell, you are no crazier than myself or Jak."

"That is not saying much, Ryder." Jak quipped and Ryder shook his head, before striding out the door. Jak stared after the human pathfinder. "Me going down must have rattled him hard, didn't think the man was soft at all."

"He is not." Lara said through the orb. "He felt responsible for you since you collapsed in his shuttle. No one can figure out why you wouldn't wake though." She hugged him again. "Korri, no one has approached you, have they?"

 _No, and that worrie_ _s_ _me._ Korri replied silently. _I don't know spy stuff at all, but I do have a sense that whatever they want me for cannot be good._

"We have to talk to them." Jak said quietly. "The human ark won't have the facilities or the food for you and I refuse to simply drop you in stasis to stay that way until Andromeda."

 _I…_ Korri gulped. _I don't want to._ She said weakly. _Other quarians scare me._

"After what you went through, girl-" Jak froze as the door hissed open and a strange quarian stepped in only to pause on seeing Jak and Lara. He wore blue and white on his envirosuit like patient gown Jak wore. "Who the hell are you?" Jak demanded, sitting up straight. "This is a private room."

Lara palmed the orb before the quarian could see it and spun to glare at the offender as well.

"I am looking for Korri'Lamant nar Rayya." The quarian said stiffly.

"And?" Jak demanded, getting angrier.

"She is in grave danger. I need to talk to her." The quarian did not move, wise as keyed up as Jak was.

"And you _are_?" Jak demanded. He was not surprised when Lara laid a hand on his and something blocky slid into it. He didn't need to see it to know it was a Predator pistol. Knowing her? It was likely loaded and ready. He gripped it and relaxed as he realized the safety was on. She wasn't stupid, Lara.

"I am someone who wants to help her." The quarian said slowly. "I was told she was here. Where is she?"

" _She_ is not here. _You_ need to leave _my_ private room before I call a nurse and have them call whatever passes for security around here." Jak said flatly. "When I am from, we tend to introduce ourselves _first_ , and _then_ ask for stuff."

"Her life is in danger." The quarians said quickly even as he took a step back.

"And you really expect me to believe that any quarians care about _that_?" Jak demanded. At that, the stranger stiffened. "The _bomb_ and _poison_ were clues enough. Get out. Now."

" _What_?" The other sounded shocked but Jak couldn't tell if he was acting or not. Then he wilted a little and raised his hands. "Damn, she was right. We did it. We hurt her. Can I start again? My name is Perrin'Shiya vas Orenli nar Rayya." He spoke slowly and carefully. "My sister's name is Elana'Shiya and she is in the ICU on the Rayya as we speak. She was attacked and badly beaten."

 _What?_ That came from both Lara and Korri.

 _I will send a message asking for confirmation._ Korri said quickly, horror in her mental voice. _It will take time._ Jak send a wordless thank you.

"Is she all right?" Jak did not move, did not relax.

"She will recover." The quarian who called himself Perrin'Shiya said weakly. "It will take some time but she is tough, my sister. The thing is, when she woke in medical care, she identified her attacker. He was quarian and he demanded to know where Korri'Lamant went. She refused to tell him and he hurt her. He left the fleet before they could apprehend him and we believe he is pursuing Korri'Lamant."

"I really wish I could say I was surprised." Jak said quietly. The other quarian stared at him and Jak made a face. "Long story. _Very_ long story and I don't have authorization to to tell you. We will have to corroborate what you told us. Until then? She is safe."

"You do not understand." The quarian said weakly "The one who hurt my sister is a member of..." He paused and shook his head. "Never mind, their designation would mean nothing to you. I believe the human words are 'Military Intelligence'?"

"That is a contradiction in terms." Jak said with a grin that was totally lost on the quarian. "She is safe and I am not going to produce her on _anyone's_ say-so."

"Look..." Perrin'Shiya said with a half snarl. "This quarian will not stop until he finds Korri'Lamant. He is very dangerous." He was apparently not expecting Jak to laugh. "What?"

"I am not going to say where she is or with who." Jak replied. "But I will say _this_. On the trip here, I asked Commander Shepherd if she would be willing to assault the ship that Korri is currently residing on. She replied 'HELL NO!'." The quarian's eyes were obviously huge under his faceplate. "Korri _is_ safe." Jak said calmly.

"For now." Perrin'Shiya slumped a bit. "But the one who hurt my sister is trained in a number of ways. He has to have contacts among the Initiative personnel. They are blocking her admission into the Initiative, saying she is too young." Jak glared at the quarian and Perrin'Shiya raised his hands further. "Hey! My sister vouches for her and I personally do not know her. I was never one for gossip anyway."

 _That is refreshing._ Korri sent to Jak who fought to keep his face straight.

"Why would they do that?" Jak demanded. "She is not a child."

 _Technically, I am._ Korri said weakly, but Jak shook his head.

"She never took a Pilgrimage." The other quarian said weakly.

"Rite of passage or _no_ , she is _not_ a child." Jak snapped. "I refuse to let _anyone_ abuse her again. She is my responsibility and my more importantly? She is my _friend_." A feeling of consternation mixed with thanks came from Korri's mind. The quarian stared at Jak and then slowly relaxed.

"Then you may be her only chance at becoming an adult in the eyes of the quarian people."


	23. Chapter 23

**Of Lies and Loves**

 _You cannot believe that after everything they did, that they want to do_ _that_ _._ Lara was in rare form as she sat. _That there is no ulterior motive._

She was too agitated to speak through the orb and Jak was soothing her the best he could. He too was upset, but nowhere close to her level.

Lara had been more than a little upset by the intrusion into Jak's recovery room. Before the intruding quarian managed to say another word beyond inquiring whether or not Korri might be interested in performing a rite of passage, Lara had summoned a nurse who had blown her top in a display that mixed professionalism with utter outrage. Said nurse had quickly summoned security who had escorted the quarian away.. They had been consummate professionals as well, but the very idea of someone intruding into a private recovery ward was bad enough. The fact that he had lied about his intentions to get in was worse.

The _only_ good news was that a reply had come quickly from the quarians. The note from Admiral Shala'Raan sad that Elan'Shiya was indeed in medical care and expected to make a full recovery. Included in the note was a description of the quarian who had attacked the doctor and it was nothing like Perrin'Shiya, so that at least was cleared up. Jak had been a bit worried about some kind of sneaky trick to gain Korri's trust. That was exactly the kind of thing that intelligence types were known to do. All _was_ fair in war after all, even when people were not at war. At least to some intelligence types.

 _I don't know._ Korri's mental voice was subdued. Her songs never stopped in her mind, but now, they were muted by her anxiety. _I mean, I always wanted to do my pilgrimage. I always considered myself a member of the Fleet. Even when they wanted nothing to do with me. Otherwise, why would they keep me around? I was a drain on resources._

"Well, that is over." Jak shook his head as he looked around the quarters that the Initiative had given him.

Most of the colonists-to-be had already been shipped up to Ark Hyperion. The ship was almost completely finished. Only a few last checks were still to be done, and no one was scrimping on those. After all, they would be a long way from any possibility of help. Despite all of the new and in many cases, experimental tech involved, no glaring flaws had been found in the designs and the crew were almost itching to get underway. Another couple of weeks and Jak might have been out of luck trying to get in.

With Garson's and Ryder's active assistance, Jak, Korri and Lara and worked to refine the plan that Jak had come up with. The basic plan was for the trio to fly out on the Hyperion. The stasis systems that the Initiative used would work for all three of them. The problem was that Korri could not eat the same things that Jak and Lara took for granted, so leaving her on a human ship was essentially a one way ticket to starvation, not something that anyone wanted to contemplate. That left aside the fact that human medicine wouldn't work on quarians and vice versa. So, Jak had gotten sneaky.

It was a well known fact that in every group of sentients, there was always at least one who was a scrounger. The fixer. The one who could be relied on to get things that no one else could. Said scrounger might not always be trustworthy, but they were almost always tolerated for their ability to get stuff from outside the normal channels. That wasn't to say they were not watched like hawks by everyone, security included. Things tended to disappear in such people's presence and not show up again.

None of the trio was a scrounger, but the plan called for a shuttle to _appear_ as if a scrounger had used it for storage. If security found a shuttle filled with quarians foodstuffs and medicine, they would likely react with suspicion, but not destroy it out of hand because most of the dexto protein materials could also be used by turians, who had an entire ark of their own. The security troops would search their files for where the shuttle had come from and find out that it had been detailed for Ark Natanus, the turian ark and wound up on the Hyperion instead. Such mixups had and did happen in every large organization so they would investigate, but not find anything on who it belonged to. So supplied would be available when Korri was 'found' aboard.

The shuttle would be an Initiative one, at least on the outside and to every scan. It would take a highly detailed search of the shuttle to find the hidden compartment that was being built into it. Since the work was being done in a hangar bay on Illia's small ship, it as highly unlikely that anyone would see the small differences inside unless they knew what to look for. Even then, with a geth consensus living in the main data storage unit and a small stasis pod containing a rachni egg also aboard, Jak wanted to take no chances. He would be there when the shuttle was delivered.

 _I still consider myself a member of the Fleet, Jak._ Korri protested. _I still… feel for the Fleet. You still feel for Earth, no?_

"I do." Jak admitted. Lara was shaking her head savagely and Jak just held her. "Lara… Lara. I know you are upset after everything. I am too. God knows, we have cause. But this is _Korri's_ choice. Not ours."

 _I… I know._ Lara admitted a bit sheepishly. _I am sorry, Korri. I see you so hurt and want to help. But I cannot wrap you in bandages and keep you safe from all harm. It wouldn't work and would likely hurt you worse._

 _You think I will_ **complain** _that you are_ **kind** _to me?_ Korri asked, stunned.

"Some would." Jak said with a sigh. Then he chuckled. Lara looked at him and he smiled. "All anyone would need to do to prove I am crazy is to listen in on me now. I am having a conversation with two people and they will only hear one voice."

Lara stared at him and then chuckled, her anger finally fading as she relaxed. She snuggled closer to him and then stiffened again.

"Lara?" Jak asked.

 _People at the door._ Lara said quickly. _I cannot hear them, but they are there._

 _Handy skill. One of these days, you need to show me how to do that._ Jak did not hesitate even as he spoke in his mind. He moved to a table and picked up the pistol he had laid there when he had tried to calm Lara. He checked it without taking his eyes off the door. An incline of his head and Lara moved to the side, out of the line of fire.

The door chimed, echoing oddly loud in the silence and Jak frowned. A snatch team wouldn't likely use the door chime. Then he nodded, moving the pistol behind his back.

"Yes?" He called.

"Mister Collains, Miss Lara?" There was nothing wrong with the voice, but something made Jak's hackles go up. Way up. "Pathfinder Ryder asked us to speak with you. May we come in?"

Jak looked at Lara who shrugged. She moved to a chair, one that coincidentally had an Avenger rifle leaning against its back. Said rifle was set convenient to grab, just out of the line of sight from the door. He didn't want Lara in harm's way, but he knew better than to try to get her to retreat. She was not wilting flower, his wife to be. She sat and nodded as she folded her hands in her lap, ready to grab the weapon if needed. Jak hoped it wasn't.

"Come in." Jak said calmly, holding his pistol behind his back.

The door hissed open and two beings stepped in. A salarian and a turian wearing the blue and white of the Andromeda Initiative. Neither of them were known to Jak. Both looked at him and then at Lara before nodding to Jak and showing empty hands that they kept still. There wasn't anything wrong about them, but there was. There was a feel that Jak got from both that he really didn't like. The salarian was calm. The turian looked at Jak, then at Lara and he could swear the alien as amused. As if he found the scene both tactically correct and funny.

"A certain amount of paranoia is completely understandable in your situation, Mr. Collains." The salarian said calmly. He knew Jak had a weapon. He had to. But he wasn't upset or even worried. Then again, salarians _were_ very fast. He might be able to draw and fire before Jak could. Lara might or might not get her weapon out and aimed in time, but the turian-… The salarian coughed as Jak eyed him. "Before you do anything rash, we are not enemies. We work for the Initiative now. We didn't always."

"Let me guess." Jak said slowly. "STG?"

The Salarian Special Tasks Group were the meat and bones of the salarian military. They were not an army like other races might field. Oh, they did fairly well in the few conventional engagements that they had been involved in but that wasn't their best use. Salarians were not built to take punishment. They did not rely on holding ground and trading hammer blows with enemies to win like turians and humans did. Oh no. For a salarian, the absolute best kind of war was the one that was over before it started. Decapitation strikes, quiet -and sometimes not so quiet- assassinations, sabotage, all kinds of tricks that humans would consider 'black bag' or 'clandestine' salarians took for granted as normal operating procedure. Needless to say, they made for _very_ uncomfortable allies. If they decided you were a liability? They would leave you hanging with your shorts in the breeze. Or worse.

"Many salarians work for STG, Mr Collains." The salarian said quietly. "Matter of fact, most do. Not all realize it, but almost every salarian has had some dealing with the group. So, yes. I was STG." Perfectly true and perfectly honest. So why were the hairs on Jak's neck standing up as if he was about to be painted by surface to air fire?

"And your colleague?" Jak asked, not moving.

"I did my time." The turian replied. "I got a nice fat pension and sat on a beach. Then I got bored." Jak raised an eyebrow and the turian smiled. "Don't believe me?"

"I didn't deal a lot with Alliance Intelligence." Jak said slowly. "But I did on occasion. I got the same feel from some of them as I get from you two. What do you want with a busted up crazy pilot and his nutso girlfriend?"

 _You will pay for that one later, Mr. Collains._ Lara sent in a sweet mental voice. Jak fought hard to control his wince.

"Would it help if I told you I talked with a man named Hackett?" the salarian asked softly. Jak froze and the alien nodded. "He told me to tell you: Code Red-Blue, Tau Seven."

"Odin's Beard." Jak had his pistol up and aimed at the salarian now, but neither of the aliens reacted.

 _Jak?_ Lara pleaded, not daring to move for fear of drawing attention.

 _Don't distract him!_ Korri warned. _If these_ **are** _intelligence operatives, you are both in grave danger!_

"You are not." The turian said and slowly raised a hand to tap his visor. "I cannot hear her, but the orb is resonating with her words even when it does not transmit them. You might want to get that looked at."

If anything, the sudden revelation that their communication was not un-tappable made Jak stiffen further. He did not shift his aim from the salarian who nodded slowly.

"Countersign is Ragnarok. He said you would know what that means." The salarian said calmly. Jak exhaled and slowly relaxed. He did _n_ _ot_ lower his weapon. It was no surprise when the salarian smiled a little. "I see your training was thorough, Lieutenant."

"That code was a worst case scenario." Jak said flatly. "Ragnarok is an ancient human myth about the end of the world." Jak slowly shook his head and even more slowly, safetied his pistol and lowered it. "What do you know?"

"Our governments may deny the Reapers are coming." The turian said quietly. "But evidence is mounting. Even the most hidebound and narrow minded politician will eventually see the truth when it stands up and slaps them in the face. The only question is, what will be left afterwards?"

"So the Initiative is a backup plan?" Jak asked.

"Not an official one." The salarian replied. "Officially, Reapers are a myth." He made a face. "A myth that just caused Commander Shepherd to destroy a mass relay in batarian space."

"What?" Jak stammered, stunned out of his mind. Mass relays were the cornerstone of galactic civilization. They were huge and well nigh impervious to almost any known weapon. "How the _hell_ …?"

"We don't know." The turian said with sigh. "What we _do_ know is that life in the Arahot system no longer exists and Shepherd apparently did it." He shook his head. "When we spoke to Hackett, he said that we needed to go. Now."

"The batarians are going to go _ballistic_." Jak said weakly. The others nodded. "Are we ready?" Jak asked, looking from one to the other.

"Almost." The turian said with a nod. "Thing is, we have no idea what we are getting into. We have no idea of the trip is even possible." Jak nodded. "But if it is, and we _can…_ Then even if the Reapers come, we can save something."

"It won't be much and we will have no support at all. But it is more than the protheans managed." The salarian said with a nod.

"So… what do a pair of 'not currently' spooks want with me?" Jak asked softly. Lara made a motion and he shook his head. "Us."

"You and your mate are the only two humans in the Initiative that we can be _totally_ sure are not affiliated with Cerberus. We asked Hackett and he gave us an unofficial and off the record briefing." The salarian said quietly. Jak stiffened and the alien nodded. "Cerberus would dearly love to get people into this project."

"They have tried." The turian interjected. "We don't think they have succeeded, but we don't know."

"You can't know for sure." Jak mused. "They are sneaky as hell."

"Which brings us to you." The salarian nodded to Jak and Lara. "You two have no love for Cerberus. The Initiative is a civilian organization, but we have no idea what we are flying into in Andromeda."

"What?" Jak asked snidely. "You don't think they will greet us as _gods_?"

"Such things rarely end well." The salarian said with a small smile. "We can hope for the best, but only fools do not plan for the worst. We will need to have information gathering." Jak just looked at him and the salarian nodded. "And yes, probably more."

"I am not a soldier anymore." Jak said mildly. "And frankly? Even if I _can_ fly, we won't have weapons on our ships. The Council won't allow _that_."

"We are allowed fighter craft and personal weapons for self defense." The turian nodded. "But you are right. This is totally a civilian operation so no armed spacecraft larger than fighters. No armored vehicles. No heavy weapons. We are explorers, not an army."

"And if Cerberus did manage to get a team aboard…?" Jak mused.

"Then we get to Andromeda and find ourselves in a world of hurt." The salarian agreed. "It wouldn't even take many of them to take control. Perhaps fifty at most, in the right places."

 _I cannot see them getting that many aboard through the screenings._ Korri interjected. Both the salarian and turian nodded to that and Jak sighed.

"We have secrets that must remain secret." Jak warned. "I know intelligence officers are all about finding out secrets, but these cannot get out."

"We are both retired, Mr Collains." The turian said with a wide shrug. "This is probably simple paranoia, but you know 'spooks'."

"I do." Jak said dryly. "So what do you want from me?"

"You would keep your eyes and ears open anyway." The salarian replied. "Now? You know the stakes are higher. If others think this may be an escape from the Reapers, they might try to hijack it."

"Not that such would be easy even if Ryder doesn't get involved." The turian actually _shuddered_ "That human is _scary_."

"Ryder asked me to run a preliminary class for pilots in a few days." Jak said with a nod. "I will keep an eye out. Lara and Korri will be in the medical wards and will be escorted at all times. Do I get your names or should I just call you 'Spook One' and 'Spook Two'?"

Both intelligence officers actually smiled at that. They had senses of humor? That put them three or four steps closer to sentient than most of the other operatives Jak had worked with.

"This meeting did not actually happen." The turian said simply. "We will meet again. I am actually in your class for a refresher on Kodiak systems. Haven't flown one of those in a few years."

"And of course, you won't say how many years." Jak finally holstered his pistol.

"Of course not." The turian moved towards the door and then paused. "The orb… it just receives, right?" Jak nodded. "Good. And of course, you won't say where you got it."

"Of course not." Jak waited until both had left the room before relaxing and letting out a deep breath. "Oh dear. _Just_ what we fricking needed. Someone _else_ to lie to."

 _They scare you._ Lara rose, moved to where Jak stood and hugged him tight.

"Their kind lie for a living, Lara. They also have to do things that others find repugnant. Like kill in cold blood or _worse_. Some wind up enjoying it too much. Those? I don't know." Jak said quietly. "It is a bad job. I can actually see even some of those guys wanting to start fresh and the Initiative offers that. But geez..."

 _Enough._ Lara took hold of Jak's hand and started pulling him toward the bedroom. _Let tomorrow take care of tomorrow. Tonight. You are mine!_

 _Ah… K_ orri stammered. _I will… um.. leave you to that._ Her mind vanished form the link. Not gone, just separated a bit for privacy.

 _If you peek, young quarian lady, you will find you are not too old to spank._ Lara warned. There was no response, just a hint of wariness mixed with amusement. _I mean it!_

Jak sighed as Lara pulled him into the bedroom and then gave in. There were some things that it was simply better not to fight. When the wife-to-be was in the mood? She got what she wanted.

Period.


	24. Chapter 24

**Confidence**

The room was fairly standard for such things. Rows of chairs for multiple species set up in rows. One wall that had a large holo screen built in. One door led to a hangar where a number of shuttle waited for use as simulators. Another door led to restroom facilities, also set up for multiple species.

Jak watched the seats fill up from his hidden vantage and fought back a sigh. There were things he would never miss about the military, but say what you would, the military got some things right. Discipline and attention to detail were the two most important things for soldiers, no matter their species or field of operation.

Attention to detail was imperative. If you missed one step in a series, bad things often happened. Even if it was simply cooking food for a crew, you could poison them. Not so good for morale. If you were trying to disarm an explosive while the timer was counting down and missed a step? Ouch.

Discipline was what separated soldiers from a mob. From the first time a sentient had picked up a rock to bash another sentient over the head with, warfare had been a constant in most species' histories. It varied from group to group. Asari preferred styles of warfare were very different from turian preferred styles of warfare which was very different from most krogan warfare. Humans varied quite a bit, but in the end, what separated soldiers from warriors was discipline. Warriors fought for themselves, soldiers fought for each other. Or that had been what Jak had learned in Basic Training. Things got blurry as he got older, but in the end, to Jak discipline was what mattered.

This group of pilots was varied. Some seemed disciplined, others were loud and to Jak's expert eye, lacked confidence. That could kill a pilot as surely as a bullet could. The only way to get confidence was to do stuff, so Jak was ready. Or so he hoped. He had taught such classes before, but it had been a long time.

Finally almost all of the seats were filled and Jak looked at the time. Two minutes to go. He strode from his cubbyhole and started for the front of the room. It was easy to tell who was pure civilian and who was former military. No one called the room to attention, but all of the former military personnel were suddenly silent and attentive. The civilians all realized that something was happening and shut up as Jak reached the front of the room.

He wasn't carrying anything for the class, but even now, he wore his Predator. He had authorization for that from Ryder, Garson and the head of security, a feisty woman named Sloane Kelly. He had seen several others armed as well, probably security troops with the same dispensation he had, to carry concealed while on duty, which he was. Even if he hadn't been authorized, he wasn't going to walk around unarmed. Not when Lara and Korri both relied on him. He wouldn't have carried it openly, but he would have carried it. At least no one else was carrying anything heavier than a pistol or perhaps a submachinegun.

Jak looked at the clock and then at the few empty seats. Three of them. He quirked an eyebrow.

"They _did_ send out the memo that this refresher was mandatory, right?" Jak inquired. Head nodded around the room. "Good. The Initiative isn't the force I worked with, but memos get lost for _everyone_."

A sour chuckle swept the room and most of the beings in it relaxed a little. He saw Perrin'Shiya sitting near the back and did not acknowledge the quarian. He saw turian he had called Spook Two sitting with his back to a corner and did not acknowledge the turian either.

"Well, we only have a day to get this done, so we better start." Jak looked around the sea of faces and nodded. "My name is Jak Collains, I am former Alliance Military and most of my experience is in atmosphere. I have flown most of human designs and am current on the Kodiak, although my hours are down at the moment."

"Then what good are you?" A loud female voice sounded from the door and Jak fought back another sigh as three humans swaggered in. Two guys and a girl. From the looks on their faces and the general disheveled appearance of their jumpsuits, they had probably found an out of the way closet to do some hanky panky. None of _them_ were former military.

"How many hours do you have, Ms Rivers?" Jak asked, ignoring the murmurs as he named her in front of the class. His implant had queried hers and pulled up a short bio when it did. A decent pilot, but also a troublemaker. Not that surprising. "Actual flight that is?"

Jak knew that, just as he knew that Ms Princilla Rivers had come from an influential family and considered flying as an adventure, which it could be. He knew exactly how many hours she had logged, which likely wasn't the truth. Every pilot fudged a little, for any number of reasons, some good, some bad. To his surprise, the woman stiffened and nodded.

"Three hundred flight, two hundred instrument. Eighty with the Kodiak." She replied with a savage smile. "You?" Jak nodded, he has expected such.

"Twenty six thousand, four hundred and seven hours total. About half on instrument." Jak replied quietly. Ms Rivers paled and Jak continued in the same calm voice. "You have me beat on the Kodiak though. I only have sixty nine hours with that. This refresher is for me too."

Those numbers made more than one person whistle. Then again, Jak _had_ been a pilot for ten years and had been active duty for most of that time. That wasn't even his true total. No one outside Alliance High command knew that. Not even _Jak_. He never bothered to count the secret hops.

"How many in a Mantis?" Someone asked. Jak ignored the question and the speaker grunted. "Never mind."

Had that question come from a krogan? There were three in the class, all of whom looked attentive. Odd.

"Frankly? Number of hours here doesn't matter." Jak waved and the woman sat, her two paramours or whatever they were sitting as well. "We do not know what we are getting into. We could find perfectly habitable planets with perfect weather and natives that offer to sell us the planet for beads and some blankets." That got a laugh from a couple of the military types. "Or we could be flying into a shitstorm. Maybe _literally_ if we find a planet sized being." He smiled as several people chuckled a little. "We do not know what are flying into, so we have to be ready for anything. Anything at _all._ "

"We know what we are getting into." Ms. Rivers said smugly.

"Do you?" Jak countered evenly. "So nothing can possibly go wrong or change in six hundred years worth of cryo sleep?" He shook his head. "You are not stupid or you wouldn't be here. You wouldn't have made it past the screenings. We are going to Andromeda. No one has been there before that we know of from the Milky Way. Our job will be to carry stuff from place to place, probably through the worst environments. We may carry people, cargo, livestock… it doesn't matter. Our job is to get from point A to point B safely."

"And if we find trouble?" This from a human in the third row.

"The Mk 45J Kodiak, Civilian model, has strong kinetic barriers and powerful engines." Jak replied without answering the question." What would _you_ do?"

"Run the hell away." The human replied instantly. A laugh circled the room, but more than one person was nodding.

"Good answer." Jak said with a smile. "We are not in a military now. Picking fights is not our job. _Winning_ fights is not our job. Our job?"

"Carry stuff and come back safe." Came a chorus from around the room. Ms. Rivers had her mouth firmly shut and Jak bit back _another_ sigh. That one was going to be trouble.

"Right." Jak nodded and turned to the wall where a screen lit up showing a shuttle in Initiative colors. "The Mk 45J Civilian model Kodiak shuttle as modified by the Andromeda Initiative..."

* * *

Nine hours later

Jak was pleasantly surprised. The class had only contained a few of the stereotypical pilot sorts. The loud, confident arrogant idiot stereotype which had _little_ to do with real pilots in Jak's own experience. A pilot needed confidence true, fighter pilot in particular needed confidence that lesser beings could only marvel at to simply _do_ their job even when it wasn't in space. But the Initiative wasn't going to need fighter pilots. They had a number of beings who were trained as such, far more than they had _fighters_ for. They didn't need that. They needed _shuttle_ pilots. Badly. The mindset was very different. Most in the class got that, a few did not and Jak was looking forward to seeing _their_ reaction to the simulations. Ms Rivers was the loudest of the, but there were others who seemed to vie for place of 'class jerk' with her.

He had pulled strings and gotten enough shuttles set up for the class to have four of them running as simulators at once. He had also managed to come up with a sneaky flight pattern that started small and easy and ended with maneuvers that were the definition of tricky.

"You have got to be _kidding!_ " Ms Rivers screamed from her simulator as it shut down."You… You..." She was almost frothing thing at the mouth as she clawed her way out of the restraints and stormed from the shuttle to glare at Jak. "What was _that?_ "

"Which?" Jak asked calmly. Inside, he was enjoying the show and both Lara and Korri were snickering as the woman in front of him sputtered. He checked his omni-tool to see how far she had gotten and nodded. "Ah, you tried to fly through the canyon."

"That is not _possible!_ " Rivers snapped. Jak looked at her and then at the other simulators, which were still humming.

"Sure it is."Jak retorted, keeping his voice calm to counter the woman's angst. "You just took it at three times the recommended speed. The Kodiak is not a fighter craft. It won't handle like a fighter craft." He shook his head slowly. "And if a fighter pilot tried what you did, they would be grounded for a while at the _very_ least."

"The Kodiak cannot do that!" Rivers retorted hotly.

"The Kodiak can." Jak said with a snarl as the woman drew in a breath to start again. "It is sturdy and quick for its size. It is _not_ a fighter or ground attack ship. It was never designed to be such. Even the newest military models, some of which I think have weapons..." He knew damn well they did. "...are not designed for air to air combat or suppression of enemy air defenses. If we run into such situations in Andromeda, our best choice is always going to be to run away. We are not an army."

"Maybe we should be." River said sullenly.

"Then maybe you should leave." Jak replied and everyone's eyes were suddenly on him. "That mindset will likely get you killed. You we might be able to spare, but the others and possibly the shuttle you will likely take with you are less replaceable."

"That cannot be done." River snapped. "Why give us scenarios that cannot be done?"

"To see if we will try them." A voice Jak had heard before piped up form the back of the group that had gathered around him and Rivers. Jak nodded to the female krogan who had spoken. "Aborting the run when the winds got too high was the right choice?" She inquired.

"In that particular situation, yes." Jak replied. "But that scenario based on a real world example. You didn't have the urgency of the real world mission."

"If I may ask, sir..." The female krogan said quietly. "What was the real world mission?" Rivers drew in a breath, but several people hushed her.

"Delivering medical teams and medicine to an isolated settlement that had an outbreak of a nasty cross species flu." Jak replied quietly. Several people stiffened at that. "The outbreak was bad. Dozens sick, hundreds infected. When the dust had settled, there were thirty seven fatalities including fourteen kids. The medicine saved the rest." He looked at the floor. "The mission was done."

"That run is not possible." Rivers declared. "Who here managed to do it?" Everyone looked, but no one raised a hand until Jak did. " _You_?" Rivers sputtered.

"2173, Elysium." Jak said quietly. "A hurricane came and _sat_ on the operating area. _All_ flight in the area was grounded due to high winds and lighting. A deep canyon was the only way in that would not tear even a Kodiak to pieces but the winds in that were unpredictable. I did it at the specified speed. Not a single shot was fired and it is _still_ the single hardest mission I have ever flown. Nothing else in my experience has even come close."

"Harder than the bridge?" The female krogan asked.

"What bridge?" Jak asked calmly. Several people snickered.

"Ryder told us some of your history." The female krogan smiled. "You may deny it as you wish, and good for you to be so loyal to the Alliance." Jak looked at her and her implant read Nakmor Salira. "Aborting the run and waiting for conditions to improve was the right call."

" _This_ time, yes. The cargo was not specified for a reason. It wasn't urgent." Jak said with a nod. "We may be called upon to do similarly crazy things. Because what I did on Elysium in 2173 _was_ crazy. There is no other way to say it. It was foolhardy and I put both myself _and_ the medical teams with me in grave risk. The _only_ reason the brass didn't court martial me for it is that I managed to pull it off. We do not need heroes here." He said, looking at Rivers who flushed. "We need people who get the job done. We will have the knowledge and machinery to make new shuttles, but we won't have the resources to make them fast. And if you take a dozen colonist into a fiery grave with you? Who replaces _them?_ "

Rivers bit back an angry retort, glared at the clock and left the bay without another word. Her two hangers on followed, both silent and red faced. Jak sighed and nodded. His time for the day was up. Everyone had gone a round in the simulators so the refresher had gone fairly well. Rivers was going to be a problem though. The others filed out until only the krogan was left. She spoke.

"She wants to be a fighter pilot." Salira said quietly. "And she won't get it."

"We are explorers, not a military." Jak said with a nod as he started shutting down the shuttles and readying them for storage. Most would be shifted to long term storage and sit there for the long trip to Andromeda. Only four would be left in the hangar and most of those were earmarked for the Pathfinder team."I can't talk about what I did." He cautioned.

"I know." The krogan reassured him. "I just wanted to say, 'Thank you' for the class." Jak paused what he was doing and looked at her. "Not every krogan is a testosterone fueled idiot and we do need the best for this crazy jaunt."

"Ryder said a clan was coming. Yours?" Jak asked as he finished shutting down the last shuttle. Salira nodded and Jak sighed. "If anyone in the galaxy has earned a fresh start, I think you krogan have."

"Kind words." Salira said with a frown. "As a race, the krogan earned the galaxy's ire. Not all of us believe in the dream. But we follow our clan leaders. Maybe in Andromeda we can make a better future for ourselves and our descendants. One untainted by our past."

"You are not the only one." Jak said sadly. Salira looked at him and both Lara and Korri felt shocked at the pain that flew through his mind, Both worked to ease him and he relaxed. "The bridge? People will keep asking. I… I shouldn't but… You deserve to know."

"You don't need to say." Salira said quickly.

"You krogan have a reputation." Jak said sadly. "So do I. The bridge? The newsies left out a _lot_. Do you know how many terrorists were there?"

"Fifty seven." Salira said instantly. "With heavy weapons and-" She broke off as Jak raised a hand. "What?"

"Fifty seven terrorists, yes. _Nineteen_ of them under the age of sixteen. Kids. Children soldiers. Two of the woman of the group had brought infants with them. The pieces found of _those_ never made onto the news." Salira stared at him in horror. Jak felt both Lara and Korri's shock. "It was a cult and I killed them all. The four who survived my assault didn't live long after. Only one survived to face trial and _she_ didn't survive to her sentencing hearing. I killed them all."

"It was the right thing to do." Salira said slowly. "But _children_? Even _our_ people wouldn't do that. Kill them in rage or in the heat of battle maybe. But _use_ them as soldiers? No."

"They apparently counted on that squeamishness on the part of the cops. I didn't know. All I knew was there were terrorists there. If they had time to set up the bombs that they were going to, a _thousand_ civilians would have died." Jak gave himself a shake. "So yes. What I did was crazy and needed. It was really the _only_ thing to do. But that doesn't help me sleep at night."

"I can understand that." Salira said sadly. "I am fertile. I had… I tried once." Jak stiffened and she nodded. "I can't do that again."

A rush of sympathy came from the others in Jak's mind and he slowly reached out. Salira stared at him as he laid a hand on her arm.

"I am not going to say I understand, because I don't. I _can't_. I am male. I cannot understand completely." Jak said quietly. "But I _do_ understand sadness and grief. The Alliance and my team were my family. I lost them all along with my sanity. I have gotten some of it back. I am not alone, but..."

"But it is hard." Salira said with a nod. "Maybe someday. But for now? I think part of me took pilot training in the hope that I would crash and burn somewhere. The rest of me just loves to fly."

"Let's hope _that_ part stays." Jak gave the armored arm a squeeze and released her. "You can fly with me anytime, Nakmor Salira. Better you than Rivers."

"Thanks." Salira said with a grimace. "I think. You are crazy. I _am_ krogan, remember?"

"It was a compliment. I am crazy. _We_ are _all_ crazy." Jak started for the door and Salira followed. "What we plan is not sane in the _slightest_. We could all use a fresh start. But one would hope than we leave all of our old grudges and nastiness behind."

"Care to wager on that?" Salira asked slyly.

"Nope." Jak smiled a little. "I am all about risk management these days."

"Drat." But Saliera was smiling too.

"Hey, confidence is one thing, but betting against _stupidity_?"

"Good point."


	25. Chapter 25

**Voices**

Jak fought hard not to pace. He knew it would not help matters. The waiting room in the hospital that the Initiative had secured the services of was comfortably appointed, but it didn't have anything to take his mind from what was happening. Not even the amazing view of the Vancouver skyline was easing his worry.

Lara was in surgery and there was nothing Jak could do but wait.

"Jak." Korri spoke up from where she sat in a comfortable chair near one wall, her focus on something she was tinkering with. "Lara is okay. She is going to be okay."

"I know." Jak slumped a bit and shook his head. "But after Christie… I am worried, Korri."

"You have a right to it." Korri said with a nod. "I know you now, inside and out. It feels...different from anything else I have known, but it is good. What happened to Christie wasn't your fault. Blame Cerberus if you are going to blame anyone."

"In my head, I know that." Jak replied, finally sitting in one of the chairs. "My heart? Seeing her on Terra Nova was a shock and a half. Being told she was a clone and not the real one? Worse."

"Undoing what Cerberus did to her will take time, Jak." Korri said with a shrug. "But they promised. You heard Illia."

"I did." Jak had to smile at that memory. Illia detested Cerberus. It was hard to say what part of that was the asari and what part was the rachni queen she served. Then again, racist human terrorists were not generally on _anyone's_ friend list. The rachni were the kindest, most even tempered beings Jak had ever met, and he totally understood their feelings for the human splinter group.

Christie was a mess. She truly thought she was Christie Susandottor, former Alliance Warrant Officer and master gunner. Christie had died on Terra Nova and Cerberus had taken her body to make a copy of her. For what reason, Jak did not know. Maybe just to do it. The scientists employed by that organization put the mad into mad science a lot more than anyone should. It broke Jak's heart to see her, to hear her ask when she could go home. Her family still lived, a mother, father and brother. But they had mourned her and moved on. What was worse? Cerberus had implanted control devices into Christie's brain along with traditional brainwashing. She wasn't her own person anymore. The rachni had removed the devices carefully, but the brainwashing would be slow to fade even with rachni tending her. Jak couldn't just drop the woman off somewhere. She was dead to her family and the Alliance. If she suddenly surfaced, the best she could hope for was a long stint in an Alliance prison for impersonating an Alliance officer. The worst? Incarceration in an asylum like Jak had been in.

"She will get better, Jak." Korri had a frown in her voice as she fiddled with the piece of tech she was working on. "She may not be the same person, but she will be better."

"I know." Jak stared at the wall and his voice was soft. "But it hurts."

"If it didn't hurt, you wouldn't be who you are." Korri finished whatever she was doing and rose to stand beside him. "The things you did as an Alliance pilot, the things that were _done_ to you… You had every right to go totally, incurably insane." She laid a hand on his arm. "Jak..."

"Hiding things from you doesn't work." Jak said with a small smile. Korri shook her head. "Korri..."

"I am not interested, Jak." Korri said with a shrug. "Not now, maybe not ever. I can sympathize with Lara wanting a child. But such a life is not for me."

"I said the same thing, Korri." Jak laid a hand on hers. "She doesn't like the idea of waiting, but we should sleep through most of that. By the time we wake in Andromeda, things should have stabilized a bit."

"You know they won't be happy." Korri muttered. "Keeping this secret is needed, but will be a hell of a shock to a lot of people."

"Ya think?" Jak snickered as she made a disgusted noise. "Korri, have you given Perrin'Shiya's idea any thought?"

"A bit." Korri admitted. "I mean, all my life, I wanted to go on Pilgrimage. To prove I was an adult. To show all of the ones who hurt me that they were wrong. That I was an adult and not a traitor."

"You were never a traitor, Korri." Jak pulled her into a gentle embrace. She sighed as she relaxed.

"I might have been, once. If I had thought of it or had the means to do it." Korri admitted. "I lashed out at everyone around me. I didn't understand why I was so angry all the time. Even when people were kind to me, I was awful to them. I know now it was the programming, that whoever did it to me wanted me isolated. Alone."

"Yeah." Jak sighed deeply as Korri hugged him. "And now you are not." He said fondly. "The songs help."

"They do." Korri admitted as she laid her helmeted head on his shoulder. "And that brings up what I want to give the quarian people." Jak looked at her and Korri gave herself a shake. "I am not part of the quarian people. I don't think I ever was. Elan'Shiya tried, but I… I was too broken."

"You are quarian, Korri." Jak held her at arms length and then slowly touched Korri in the middle of her chest. "Here. In humans, we say the heart, the core of our being is here, behind the sternum. It isn't. What we are is not focused in any physical place. Not even the neurons in our brains can be said to house all of who and what we are. You are quarian, Korri." Korri shook her head but Jak did not release her. "You can run from what you are. You can deny what you are. But in the end, you are _who_ you are." He hugged her as she gave a tiny sob. "My sister of the mind. It doesn't matter of you have a different skin than I do. You are my sister."

"Well, _you_ are crazy." Korri said with a laugh. She did hug him again. "You don't need to stay, Jak." He just looked at her and she made a sound of worry. "Jak..."

"You know Cerberus will try again." Jak said with a growl. "They simply cannot allow people to snub them like I did. Their primary weapon is fear and if people stop fearing, or worse, start _laughing_?" He shook his head. '"Until Lara is mobile again, I am not moving."

"I want to learn how to protect her and myself." Korri retreated a few steps and Jak let her go. "I never learned how to shoot." Jak just looked at her and her posture turned resigned. "Yes, I know why. I can even agree, somewhat. Giving me a loaded weapon was a bad idea before. But Jak..." Her mind opened up to him and he had to smile at the tinges of worry mixed with anticipation. "I want to help. You and Lara are so brave and I am a burden."

"You are _not_ a burden!" Jak exclaimed as he took two rushing steps to hug Korri again. " _Never_ say that. If anything, we _share_ the burdens. I am nuts enough for all _three_ of us. Lara is physically weaker than both of us. It doesn't _matter_. We are all that we have, the three of us. We share the loads." Korri was crying softly as Jak's mind enveloped hers gently, soothing away her pain and fear. "If you want to learn to shoot, you can. But you need to understand completely how awful the worry of _that_ can be. Carrying a lethal weapon is not a right or a privilege. It is a massive weight of responsibility that you carry everywhere." He tapped the pistol on his hip meaningfully. "For many, violence is either their lives or something they see on holo vids. Either way, they do not take it seriously."

"I do not understand." Korri said after a moment. "I mean, you use weapons and you are a good man."

"I try to be." Jak stared at the wall again, but his eyes were far away. "I wasn't always. Violence was my life for the first few years of it. We laughed, partied and did not take it seriously. Then I learned what discipline meant and while I do use violence when I must, I never do it lightly." He opened a dark corner of his mind to hers and she gasped. "Yes. That is why I do not want you to do it."

"You… enjoy it?" Korri said weakly.

"Not the killing, per say." Jak let her retreat. _He_ didn't really like that part of himself much. "But pitting myself against foes who test me? Of testing myself and surviving things that others could not? Yes. I enjoy that. I do not feel a rush in battle as some I have known did, but I do feel more alive when people are firing at me than any other time."

"That is insane." Korri said weakly. Then she realized what she had said and chuckled. Jak smiled too.

"Yes, it is." Jak agreed. "One reason the Alliance spends so much time training its Special Forces is that once we _are_ trained, we are some of the scariest beings imaginable. We are trained to do the job, whether it is get information or neutralize a threat. We do it." He paused and grimaced. " _They_ do it." He corrected himself grimly. "I am not Alliance now. Thing is, you need to understand and I do not know if I have the words, so..."

He reached for her hands and she let him take them. She was trembling a bit as he opened his mind to hers again. She resisted a little, fear coloring her mind, but he did not intrude, simply laid all he was bare to her. The good, the bad, the ugly and the _horrific_. Korri gasped and then she was crying.

 _What soldiers do it needed, Korri._ Jak sent silently. _But that doesn't make it right. We are trained to kill. To use wits and weapons_ _as often as needed_ _to defeat the enemy whoever or whatever they may be. But in the end, what we do is not civilized or polite or right. It is wrong, what we do._

 _But it is needed._ Korri's mind firmed up with his and her acceptance brought a smile to his face. _There are so many in this galaxy who will simply take what they have not earned. There have to be those who stand between those who cannot or will not fight and those who would harm them or civilization will never flourish. But the cost… Jak…_

"I chose the life, Korri." Jak said aloud. "There are parts I wish I could forget, but in the end? I chose it. I decided I wanted to join the Alliance. I decided to go Special Forces. I decided to take flight training." He gave her a squeeze and released her hands. "I take pride in my accomplishments. I have no regrets for enemies I have slain. It was them or me and I chose me. But each life I took does haunt me to this day."

"The bridge." Korri said softly, not releasing his hands. Jak nodded. "That wasn't your fault."

"I know that." Jak shook his head. "Thing is, Korri, every action has a reaction. Basic physics and basic emotions. If you want to learn how to shoot, then you can. Neither Lara nor I will stop you. But you need to know the costs associated with pulling a trigger and ending a life. Or worse, _not_ ending one."

"Not?" Korri queried and then made a noise of dismay. "Oh. That."

"Yeah." Jak sighed heavily. "A weapon doesn't have to kill to destroy a life, Korri. Lara is living proof of that. She will never be who she was before she was shot. She is who she is now and we will not leave her."

"No." Korri replied as she stared at the floor. "We won't. I do want to learn to shoot. But we can't here obviously."

"Not hardly." Jak laughed a little. "But the main thing that you have to learn is not something that can be taught. You have to know it deep inside yourself. _How_ to use a weapon is fairly easy. I can teach you that. _When_ to? That is not nearly as easy." Korri's eyes had widened under her helmet and then she nodded slowly.

"Yeah." The quarian sat down heavily. "I can see that. I know the statistics. Accidental injury and death by firearm is a huge problem for medial personnel everywhere. Just the thought of hurting you or Lara makes me sick."

"Many weapons only have one use, Korri." Jak said sadly. "A hammer or knife can be used for many things, but a firearm?" He snickered a little "Can't cook with a gun, but that hasn't stopped people from _trying._ "

A weak and tremulous voice sounded and Jak froze. Korri stiffened as well.

 _Jak?_ Lara sounded barely awake. _I think I am done._

 _Lara?_ Jak inquired. _Are you okay?_

 _I don't know._ Lara sounded sick and Jak stiffened. _They are moving me, but… Jak! I don't recognize the halls! This is not the surgery wing!_

"Korri!" Jak snapped, moving towards the door. Korri pulled up her omni-tool even as Jak drew his Predator. But what was just outside the door when it opened had him freezing in place.

The woman in N7 armor did not have a weapon in hand. She didn't _need_ one. Her mask proclaimed what she was even if her upraised hand with its swirl of blue-black energy around it hadn't. An Alliance Special Forces biotic. He had no chance. At the moment? He couldn't have cared less.

" _BACK!_ " Jak shouted, moving between Korri and the unknown. His pistol was up and aimed, for all the good it would do against a biotic and-

"STOP!" The commanding voice was familiar and Jak stiffened even further as Admiral Steven Hackett stepped into view, hand up. "Captain! Stand down! Now. Jak is a civilian now and he is protecting his family. He will die to protect them. Back off, Captain. That is an order! Jak! This is not a kidnapping! We are here to help!"

"Where are you taking Lara?" Jak snapped, not moving from in front of Korri or lowering his weapon. Cerberus was well known for sneaky tricks. Impersonating Hackett would be hard, but maybe feasible..

"Two of the hospital orderlies were found dead in their homes an hour ago." Hackett said quietly as he stepped to the still menacing N7. "We think Cerberus sent in a pair of agents to grab Lara. Maybe you too. Her room was not secure. We are moving her to a secure room. You two as well. I hoped to be here before you realized. Jak, please." Hackett begged. "We are not enemies."

He stepped between the N7 and Jak despite the woman's growl of annoyance. Jak sighed a little and looked at the N7.

"Guard?" She nodded a little. "My condolences. He always did have more _bravery_ than _sense_." What had to be a snicker came from the mask as Hackett crossed his arms and glared at Jak. "Sorry, Admiral. I am not your subordinate anymore. I don't _have_ to be polite when you do dumb stuff."

"Oh?" Hackett demanded, but his eyes were twinkling. "You were _polite_? Is _that_ what you called it?" He asked, incredulous.

"I was always polite." Jak said with a shrug as he lowered his pistol. If this was a trick, he was screwed.

"You threatened to _tie_ me to the _seat_ once, as I recall." Hackett said with a growl that was totally fake. Both the N7 and Korri stared at Jak who shrugged.

" _You_ wanted to fly into a hot combat zone to look and see the real situation on the ground, as _I_ recall." Jak said with a growl of his own. "Even a Kodiak wouldn't have been able to take the rockets they were tossing around, let alone the shuttles we had at the time. To this day I wonder if you have a death wish."

"He does." The voice from the N7 was cool, but also very amused as the energy around her hand vanished. Hackett spun to glare at her and she shrugged. "Sir, you do need to delegate these things. Cerberus would love a shot at you."

"Good luck with _that_." Jak said sourly. "Man is smart, but has the sense of a plant about some things."

"Don't start, Lieutenant." Admiral Hackett said with a grow. "Come on. Your girl is awake?" Jak just looked at him and Hackett raised empty hands. "We are keeping an eye on you, Jak. Until you leave. Can you blame us?"

"What do you want?" Jak demanded. _Lara?_ He sent, but there was no reply. _Lara, are you there?_

 _They are blocking my coms._ Korri said, worried. _Either they are or Cerberus is. I cannot get through to Initiative security._

 _Oh shit._ Jak took a deep breath and stepped back. He looked at the N7 who had tensed. "So it comes to this. Who do I trust? Someone is blocking our coms. You?"

The sudden non-expression on Hackett's face was all the proof Jak needed. But it hurt. It hurt so bad to be betrayed by this man of all the ones he had known. It stood to reason that the Alliance would want to know how Lara and Jak could do what they did. But he couldn't tell them and they couldn't duplicate it. Cerberus likely wasn't even here. Hackett knew how Jak felt about them. A perfect set up. He couldn't shoot Hackett and the admiral knew that. He couldn't escape with an N7 right there, even if she hadn't been a biotic... so...

"You are the best poker player I ever met, Admiral Hackett." Jak said quietly. He could feel Korri's matching shock, and sudden realization mixed with horror at this. She knew betrayal by people she had trusted. Jak did not lower his weapon any further, but he did press a button on the side. The N7 was suddenly in front of Hackett as the weapon started beeping. "But this isn't a game."

"Jak!" Hackett paled. "Don't, son!"

"You are very good, Admiral. But there are limits."

Jak held the weapon totally wrong as he curled it close to his body. As long as his finger held the button, the weapon would heat but not overheat. When he released it? Ouch. Even if the N7 _could_ grasp it, she couldn't get it clear before the thermal system overloaded and melted. His overclocked pistol's power pack would then detonate. The blast wouldn't be much but it would be enough to kill him in his civvies. Korri moved to stand bedside him, her own body masking the pistol from the biotic. She too would die, either from the blast or from the neural trauma.

He didn't want that, but he wanted to be a slave again _less_.

"You just passed them."


	26. Chapter 26

**Betrayals**

For a long moment, no one moved. Then the N7 took a step back, pushing Hackett who hadn't moved behind her. Other armored forms had appeared behind the pair, these in normal Alliance marine armor with standard weapons. Four of them.

"Jak, don't be stupid." Hackett said slowly. "We don't want you dead."

Jak glanced from him to the N7 and back, not speaking. Korri didn't move, her hands at her sides. Jak glanced at the reinforcements and shook his head slowly.

"Neither did Cerberus or my people." Korri said quietly. "But quarians nearly killed him anyway." She shook her head. "Whatever you are planning for Lara or him, we want no part of it. We will not help you."

"Korri, is it?" Hackett said slowly. "We are trying to help him and Lara. The docs detected a number of odd things in her bloodstream. Things that do not make any sense." Korri just looked at him and he shook his head. "Yes, the brass are nervous. Lieutenant Collains here was one of our best. The mere thought of him being suborned..." He paused a Korri growled..

"By anyone _else_. If _you_ do it, its fine." Korri had a snarl in her tone that was utterly unlike her. Jak looked at her and she shook her head. "Jak… I don't want to die, but to save Lara what my people did to her? I will if needed."

"Young lady, there is no need for that." Hackett tried again. "I can understand Lieutenant Collains' hesitation to trust after what he has gone through, but we are not going to hurt him or Lara."

" _Cerberus said the same_." Jak grated out and then clenched his jaw shut.

"Lieutenant, you are not going to win here." The N7 said calmly. "Even if you blow that, it won't kill you instantly and we have medics standing by." Indeed, two more marines appeared behind the first four They had had medkits ready. "Let's all just calm down and talk about this."

"I have nothing to say to you!" Jak bit out the words as if he were in pain. Physically, he wasn't, but his entire world was shattering as the Alliance troops closed in.

He went still as music sounded in his mind. The rachni. They were _not_ happy. Korri stiffened as well.

 _Jak!_ Illia's voice came and he relaxed, just a little. _What the hell?_

 _The Alliance is doing what Cerberus and the quarians did, Illia._ Jak replied. _I don't think they can block this. But they may be able to detect it._

 _Oh no._ Illia sounded sick now. _We thought you were safe. We are too far away to help. Jak..._

 _Stay safe, my friend._ Jak cut the connection.

"Who are you talking to?" The N7 demanded. Jak ignored her, focusing his rage on Hackett who winced.

"You will not use us as experimental animals, Alliance." Korri said quietly. "You will not."

More than one of the advancing Marines paused at her calm and matter of fact tone. The biotic froze and then she slowly backed up another step, pushing Hackett back again. She wasn't eyeing Jak or the small bomb he held in his hands, she was eyeing _Korri!_

"Girl. Korri." The Alliance biotic said slowly and carefully. "Be very careful. You are about to make a hell of a mess."

" _I_ am about to make a mess?" Korri asked, still calm. " _You_ are about to get three civilians killed in the need to experiment on them. You won't let us go, so that leaves me with _one_ option."

Was it Jak's imagination that blue-black energy was swirling around her hands? It _wasn't_! _Oh SHIT! Korri_ was a _biotic_! He hadn't had a clue! Had _anyone?_

" _KORRI!"_ Jak screamed as energy flared from her hands to surround the pair of them. It didn't hurt, indeed, it felt supporting even as power flared around the pistol in Jak's hand and it suddenly _wasn't_ in his hand! It was floating in mid-air, surrounded by the same biotic power. It blew, but the blast was a flat crack and none of the fragments went anywhere, consumed by the dark energy that surrounded the detonation.

"Girl! _Stop!_ " The N7 shouted. "You cannot control that much without an amp!"

" _What do you care?_ " Now Korri's emotions were given free reign and all hell tore from her mind, given form in the energy she was now throwing at the N7 who retreated, Hackett being shoved back into the ring of marines who were wisely retreating. Normal soldiers had no place in a biotic confrontation.

The energy that Korri threw hit a wall of energy that the N7 threw up and the detonation was titanic. The walls and floor shook. Korri threw her hands forward and energy flew from them to impact the wall again and again. Each impact caused another explosion, but the N7's energy barrier was solid. The walls, floor and ceiling _around_ it were showing wear.

"Girl, _stop_!" The N7 repeated. She wasn't even winded even as Korri started to gasp. She was far more powerful and she was _trained_. Korri had no chance against her. "I don't want to hurt you! You are hurting _yourself_ with that! Stop! Please!"

" _I don't believe you!_ " Korri screamed as she threw more and more energy at the Alliance biotic who did not respond. "You took my sister! It is what your kind _do!_ _Hurt people!_ It is all you know how to do! _You kill people!_ For your masters! The _only_ difference between you and Cerberus is the uniform you wear! You both will use us or abuse us and for what? To know what we do? Screw you boshtets! _All of you!_ " She spat.

"Please stop her!" The N7 pleaded to Jak. "I don't want to hurt _either_ of you and she _will_ kill herself!"

"Of _course_ you do not want to hurt us. You want us intact so they can _experiment_ on us." Jak's voice held scorn that might have etched titanium. He shook his head and moved to flank Korri as she threw another pair of energy bolts at the N7 which rattled the walls and did nothing more. "Fuck you. Rather die than feel Lara or you go that again, Korri. What can I do?"

"Sorry abut your pistol. I shouldn't have stopped you. I thought I could get us out. I was wrong. We cannot escape. Knife in my boot." Korri was obviously gritting her teeth as she kept throwing energy at the N7 who deflected it effortlessly. "I hoped to explain… I didn't want to say. Illia said everyone might be afraid of me if I showed it and..." She trailed off, energy still flying, but smaller bolts and fewer.

"It was a surprise, but I am not afraid of you, Korri. I know you just as you know me." Jak said gently as he bent down to take the knife out of her leg scabbard. Just looking at it, it was obviously razor sharp. "The ability to manipulate dark energy like that doesn't make you evil. _Or_ good." He said sternly to the N7 who shook her head. He sighed. "You will _not_ experiment on us."

"We don't _want_ to! Don't make me do this!" The N7 begged as he reversed the blade and held it to his own neck. "Lieutenant, _stop_! Let us talk this out! We can help you _and_ her!"

"No." Jak plunged the blade into his own neck and many things happened at once.

The N7's barrier vanished and Korri gave a sharp scream as black energy tendrils swarmed around her, tearing into her even as her own blue black energy fought them off. Jak collapsed to his knees and he could hear Lara crying from a long ways away even as warm wetness fell down his front. Hackett shouted as the marines ran forward, weapons and medical gear at the ready, only to retreat as Korri lashed out at them, forcing the N7 to protect them. Then the music soared through his mind and he was pulling away. It felt so comforting to be pulled into the music, but he…

Spiky red torments grabbed hold of him and held him in place even as the music fought to free him. He fought the torments with everything he had. Then music sounded and it wasn't the same music. Lara was singing and the red torment were forced back yet again.

Then everything went away.

* * *

Some time later

A loud song ran thought Jak's mind. A battle song.

Jak was fighting before he was fully awake. Hands held him down, but he had once trained to handle just such events and now? He was in shape to fight again. He slammed the hands that held him aside, hearing two cries of pain as he spun his legs away from whatever was trying to bind them. He connected to something and then he was fighting for all he was worth. Whoever these were, they were not prepared for _him_.

Something was covering his face, and he ignored that as he lashed out with everything he had. He latched onto a hand with his teeth and bit down, hard. A female scream sounded as other hands tried to hold him, but Jak had fought orderlies before. He knew the tricks. Even blindfolded, he could fight and did. He slammed his forehead into something and someone gave a pained grunt as the covering fell away. What met his eyes was horror.

Lara floated in a horizontal tank of some kind, her face scrunched up in a rictus of pain or terror. She wore some kind of body covering, but it left little to the imagination. Energy played across her whole body. The mask over her nose and mouth and the tubes into her body in various places enraged Jak in the moment he took to see all of that. Then he was off the table he had been laid out on and lashing out at everyone within reach.

"No!" One of the forms in Alliance uniform shouted, but it was too late as Jak danced into their midst, feet and hands flashing in old patterns that had never truly faded. Martial arts had never really been his thing, but hand to hand was fairly simple if you knew what to do. Hit an enemy, hurt them and move. Never stay still. Never get predictable. Assume you would get hurt and do your damnedest to hurt your enemy worse. He was wearing a patient gown and had no weapons.

It didn't matter. He was _**pissed**_ _!_

A tray flew to brain one person in surgical scrubs. That man fell as if poleaxed. A nurse tried to run for a half seen door and Jak tripped her into a cart filled with medical gear. She fell and lay, clutching her face. But there were three more and they were all wary now. One cradled a bleeding hand. He stalked toward them and they split up, each moving a different direction.

"No harm, my _ass!_ " Jak growled as he slammed into the closest, a large man who gave a cry of fear and tried to bat Jak's hands away as they gripped the front of his tunic. He spun, throwing the man into the female doctor with the bleeding hand as she darted for the door. They tangled and went down. He snarled as the door crashed open and two Alliance soldiers ran in. Neither had weapons in hand although both had them on their persons. One was the N7 from before! They took in the scene and froze. Jak did not. He scooped up an old style metal scalpel from a tray nearby and threw it at the closest marine's visor. Even it hit point first, not likely since Jak wasn't practiced with such, it wasn't going to penetrate the plastic, let alone the kinetic barriers. It was only a distraction. Before either of them could react, Jak had one of the docs in a headlock. His hands shifted just a little as the marines stiffened into immobility again. His hands were poised to break the doc's neck. But one hostage wasn't going to get him out of here, was it?

"You know you are not getting out of here." The N7 -he had never gotten her name- said flatly. "Stand down. Let him go."

" _You_ take one of _mine_." Jak said just as flatly. " _I_ take one of _yours_." He twisted his arms slightly as the other marine took a step forward and the doctor moaned in fear and pain. "Go ahead, fool. Give me no way out. See what that gets you." The marine took a slow step back. "Smarter, but still dumb."

"We haven't hurt her." The N7 held up empty hands. Not that she needed weapon. She _was_ one. "We haven't hurt _you_. We healed what you did. No more. We were worried when her vitals flat lined with yours."

"Don't _tell_ me that Hackett hasn't seen the reports. I _know_ Shepherd sent one. Do you know what the word 'linked' means, dipshit?" Jak demanded. "You are not stupid or you wouldn't have passed that training." He shook his head and forced his rage back. It wouldn't help. "You didn't kill Korri or we would _all_ be dead."

"Girl has guts, I will give her that. No experience or _sense_ , but lots of guts." The N7 said with a deep sigh. "No, I didn't kill her despite her trying to get me to. I had to beat her down hard and we are worried because we don't have a lot of data on quarian physiology."

"So _scan_ her!" Jak all but exploded at the soldier. "That was the whole plan, right? You want _data_? _Get_ it! Who _cares_ about what it does to the _subjects_? _Morals_ and _ethics_ are for _civilians_! Such are not the Alliance military any more than they were for Cerberus!"

"If that were true, you never would have woken and you _know_ it, Lieutenant. I can stop you. I don't _want_ to." The N7 said sharply. "There are those who want to dissect all three of you. Who do you think is _stopping_ them?" She demanded.

" _Why_?" Jak snapped right back. " _You_ get what you want and everyone _else_ gets _fucked_! A good old fashioned Alliance compromise. Always fun to see!"

"Clear the room." Hackett's voice sounded from the door and everyone turned to see him standing there, Korri's limp from in his hands.

"Sir!" The N7 protested.

"Clear the _fucking_ room, Captain. _Now_." That was _not_ a request. Hackett set Korri on the table Jak had recently been on and straightened her a little.

The N7 waved and the other marine started to help the moaning doctors and nurses to their feet before moving them towards the door. She did not move and the eyeslits of her helmet never left Jak. In less than a minute, the only people left in the room were Jak, Korri, Lara in her tube, the doc Jak held hostage, the N7 and Hackett.

"Out." Hackett snapped.

"I can't do that, sir." The female Alliance soldier said calmly. "Reprimand me if you must, but my orders are clear. You are not to be alone with him."

"Fine, whatever." Hackett snarled and then bit back a sigh. "Jak, let him go. Please? We haven't hurt you or her." He nodded to where Lara hung in the tank. "When you stabbed yourself, _she_ flat-lined. The docs freaked. They pulled her out of the scanner and put her in that life support tube to keep her safe while they figured out how to help her."

"They _can't_." Jak growled.

"No." Hackett agreed. "They can't. No matter what the docs tried, her heart would not start back up until the medics managed to resuscitate _you_." He shook his head. "This was never the plan, Jak. She wasn't supposed to wake up. You were not supposed to know. You were not supposed to do what you did."

"Who gave the orders?" Jak demanded. "It had to be high up to get you involved."

"Does it matter?" Hackett asked sadly as he patted Korri's still hand. "You will blame us all. And you have cause."

"No, I blame _you_." Jak snarled. "If you had simply _asked_ like a civilized person, we might have agreed. We probably _would_ have if you promised not to hurt me or Lara. I was loyal to the Alliance. Until _now_." He shook his head. "But you had your orders, so it didn't matter. Just do it and to hell with the consequences. 'Befehl ist Befehl'". He spat the words and Hackett froze solid.

"Sir?" The N7 asked. "Was that German?"

" _Jak_... Ah. Yes, Captain. It was. Didn't expect him to invoke Godwin's Law." Hackett said weakly. "A quote attributed to a man named Jodel at the Nuremberg Trials after the end of World War II. Literally 'An order is an order'. It is a defense that many have used since then to justify war crimes."

"Jodel." The N7 said slowly. "I don't know the name."

"Just as well, not a good role model." Hackett said quietly. "Jak, this isn't the _same_. We didn't hurt either of you. _You_ did." Jak looked at Korri and Hackett sighed again. "You know the Captain could have killed her easily. She didn't."

"And that makes it all better." Lara couldn't have bettered the syrupy sweetness in Jak's voice.

"No." Hackett admitted. "We cannot fix this, can we?" He asked a bit plaintively.

"Nope." Jak said flatly.

"You will not trust anything we try to set up, will you?" Hackett slumped a bit.

"Nope." Jak was still flat.

"She won't be able to walk." Hackett waved at Korri. "She used up a lot of her body's energy reserves even discounting the beating the Captain had to give her to make her stay down. Then _she_ flat-lined with you and Lara."

"Tough kid." The N7 said quietly, shaking her head. "Didn't know the quarians had biotics." Her eyes were on Jak who did not react. "Sir..." She complained.

"Would you trust _Ryder_?" Hackett asked after a moment. Jak looked at him. "He isn't Alliance anymore and we all know he can keep his mouth shut. The last thing we need is for the newsies or the Initiative's lawyers to get hold of this mess."

"Probably too late." Jak said mildly and Hackett made a face. "We called for help when you trapped us. Illia was pretty pissed." Hackett seemed to wilt and Jak twisted the knife a bit. "Then again, _she_ had no reason to trust you like I _thought_ I did."

"Get Ryder here." Hackett ordered and the N7 sighed but nodded and keyed her com. "Maybe _he_ can come up with a way to keep this from splashing all over the nightly news."

"You know? Press or Illia pissed?" Jak said with a wince of his own.

"I would take the _press_."


	27. Chapter 27

**Emotion**

It hadn't been easy or fun, but Ryder had managed to get Jak, Lara and Korri out of the Alliance hospital in the Alliance military base that the trio had been moved to. Admittedly, Jak had carried Lara and Ryder had carried Korri through a gauntlet of rather upset Alliance troops, but no one had shot him, so Jak counted it a win. It eased Jak's mind a little that Illia hadn't shown up with Ryder. Her reaction on seeing him hurt by the quarians had scared Jak quite a bit. He was _more_ than a bit worried about how she would react to _this_.

He needn't have worried.

As soon as the white and blue civilian shuttle landed on the almost ready to go Ark Hyperion, Illia was there, kneeling by Korri's side, her face a grim mask. She did a full exam, Ryder oddly silent as the asari worked. Once that was done, Illia gave Lara a quick once over and then focused on Jak. Her hands were gentle as she touched his neck where a medi-gel bandage still rested. She sighed deeply and relaxed after that.

"You need to stop scaring us, Jak." Illia said quietly. "Even if they had locked you up, they couldn't have held you for long." Jak looked at her and then at Ryder. As one, both former Alliance military personnel shook their heads. "What?" The asari demanded.

"Illia, the Alliance is based on a parliamentary system." Jak said slowly. "As governments go, it is fairly loose and tolerant. That said, if the Alliance decided that they could benefit from Korri, Lara or me being vivisected, they would do it." Illia stared at him, eyes wide and then turned to Ryder who nodded.

"That is insane!" Illai said sharply, then started a second check on Korri.

"Is it?" Jak asked quietly. He was not ready to move again just yet. It had been a hell of a day and he ached in all kinds of places. It had been years since he last trained hand to hand and he knew he would feel it in the morning even worse than now. He planned to take a long, hot shower before bed. "Governments 'disappear' people of interest all the time. I wasn't going to let them do that to Korri or Lara."

"By _killing_ the three of you?" Illia demanded. "How does _that_ help anything?"

"It doesn't." Jak admitted. "Except that I know what they could do, Illia. I know it personally." He looked at Ryder who shrugged.

"I don't think it matters now." The pathfinder said with a grunt. "I think you burned your bridges nicely with this. Welcome to pariah status with the Alliance." Illia looked from Jak to Ryder and back and Jak nodded.

"Illia, my team did what the government called 'forcible extractions on persons of interest.' Kidnapping in political speak." Jak said quietly. "We did it many times, many places. We would grab them, package them and drop them off. None of the people we snatched were ever seen again. The Alliance is not an aid organization. It is a defense collaboration and they do not defend their people by being 'nice'. I know what they could have done to us. Not the specifics, but in general. In training, we were taught to resist such things, but no one _can_ for very long. I wasn't going to let Korri or Lara suffer that kind of thing. Death is _far_ kinder."

"And here I thought you were overreacting." Illia had paled a little.

"Maybe I did." Jak slumped a bit. "I trusted Hackett and the Alliance. Them acting that way towards us hurt a lot. I am not proud of the fact that I hurt unarmed doctors and nurses but to protect Korri or Lara? I would do it again."

"It won't be needed." Ryder said into the silence that fell. "You, Korri and Lara are going to stay on the Hyperion with our security on full alert until we are ready to leave. How is Korri besides exhausted?" He asked Illia who frowned as she looked at Korri. "I know the signs. She is a biotic who just used her powers for the first time."

"She is hurt, but we can handle it here." Illia said after a moment of checking. "It isn't bad. Mostly bruises and a few minor warp burns. She mainly needs rest and food. I brought a supply of dextro food for her. She will need training as well. I would do it, but I cannot stay." She wanted to, that was clear from her face.

"We can handle that. Are you ready to bring the shuttle in?" Ryder asked after a moment. Illia looked at Jak and nodded. "That is a massive show of trust on your part and we do understand your reluctance."

"The egg is alive and in stasis." Illia said quietly. "The queen will not wake until you arrive and open the compartment. The consensus likewise. The only thing… Jak. Christie is asking to talk to you."

"I..." Jak swallowed hard as he stared at Korri and Lara.

"Go on." Ryder said firmly. "I will get Sara and Scott to help me move these two to your quarters. They won't talk. Its not palatial, but they will be more comfortable than on the deck here or in medbay. If Christie decides to come, we have a stasis pod ready for her, but we will need to get her to it soon. If she decides that."

Jak nodded and stood up slowly, aching muscles protesting. Illia held out a hand and he took it. He needed her help more than he wanted to admit as they made their way out of the shuttle and across the hangar towards the hatch that led to Illia's small ship. There was no way that that would fit inside the Hyperion's hangar bay.

"I didn't mean to scare you all, Illia." Jak said sadly. "I didn't mean to overreact. But I think I did."

"We _can_ see your fear, Jak." Illia frowned. "After all this? I understand it. Cerberus wants to dissect me to see what is different from a normal asari. They told me that a few times as I beat the crap out of their kidnap teams." Jak winced and Illia nodded. "But, Jak… You and Korri and Lara are all treasures that we do not want to lose. Not because of what you can do, but because of who you _are_."

"Korri and Lara are treasures, Illia." Jak disagreed calmly. "Me? I am just an old retreaded soldier. Now a traitor to the only group I ever trusted."

"You think that." Illia laid a hand on his shoulder. " _We_ don't."

Whatever Jak was going to say in reply was cut off by a sultry voice from nearby.

"Well, hel- _lo_!" Jak bit back a groan as Princilla Rivers stepped out into view, barring their way. Illia looked from her to Jak and back, her face blank. "And who might you be, darling?"

The female pilot looked flushed. What had she been doing in those shadows? Eavesdropping or something more?

"I am not a member of your expedition." Illia said smoothly as she took Jak's arm and guided him towards the hatch around the human woman. He didn't resist. He was too tired. "I was just checking up on a friend. Come on, Jak. We need to go."

"Leaving so soon?" Rivers nearly cooed as she took a step to follow. "We could-" Her voice broke off as Illia's eyes speared her. The asari made no threatening gesture, did not move at all in fact. But the temperature around the trio seemed to plummet.

"You don't want to do that." Illia was calm. The same way a hurricane's eye was. "You really don't. I know your type. You think sex gives you power over people. It will over some. But here is a word of advice, take it or leave it. Leave Jak and his family _out_ of your games or it _will_ hurt." Rivers stammered something, but Jak and Illia were in motion again. Illia waited until they were in the hatch before speaking again. "That woman is trouble."

"Yep." Jak sighed and stretched a bit. "She wants to fly fighters and no one with any brains will let her. She hasn't got the discipline. Hell, _I_ don't." He quipped. "Thing is, she may not have the discipline to fly _shuttles_."

"Not our problem, Jak." Illia said as the hatch cycled around them and the decontamination cycle started. "We have enough on our plate as it is."

Illia's ship wasn't very large as star craft went. It was less than a hundred meters in length and most of that was engines and sensors. The living quarters were fairly sparse. Even Illia's personal quarters where Christie had been ensconced temporarily was not the most palatial of accommodations. Jak knew Christie didn't mind that. She was used to far tighter quarters, both with the Alliance and with Cerberus. He paused at the hatch to her quarters as Illia stopped. She nodded to the hatch and he gritted his teeth and entered.

"Hey boss." Christie lay on the bed, her face pale and wan. She hadn't recovered from what the rachni had been forced to do to her to rid her of the Cerberus programming. "Wondered when you would get free." She had been reading an e-book of some kind. She nodded the reader aside as Jak nodded to her and sat with a groan. Her face turned worried. "Boss?"

"Long day, Zap." Jak said with a sigh. "Long and tiring. I thought I was done with such things, but hey… I am still in one piece. How you doing?"

"Getting there." Christie said with a smile that faded a little. "Rachni… I never would have believed they could be so kind to a human."

She touched her leg where a bulge showed on her outer left hip. Jak didn't need to see to know it was a rachni worker attached to her leg, filtering her blood and providing real time information to the hive on her status. It worked well, but it was also fairly creepy looking, so Jak was glad it was covered by her trousers.

"They seem uncomplicated."Jak agreed. "That may be because they only have one queen at the moment." He shook his head and smiled. "Bets on how long until they invent bug bureaucracy?"

Christie stared at Jak wide eyed and then she started laughing. He had always liked it when she laughed. She had been so serious when they had first met and it had taken him a year and half to get her to loosen up. She was laughing so hard that tears were falling.

"Bad! _Bad_ Walrus!" Christie said through her laughs. Finally, after a minute or so of chortling, she relaxed and met his eyes calmly. "What happened to me?" Jak just looked at her and she shook her head. "Walrus… What happened? You are not the same. I am not the same and this is not the Cerberus trash that was in my head. Things are not as they should be. I know what happened. I know when it did. I remember the fight. I remember everything. But then the lab and it all goes messy until they woke me up to come talk to you. To try and recruit you. The rachni are evasive when I ask. Illia is damn good at evading the subject or changing it. But you? I know you."

"Are you sure you want this?" Jak temporized as he queried Illia. The asari left it to him. Typical.

"I need to know." Christie said quietly. "I have decided that no matter what, I want to go with Ryder. My family thinks I am dead. They buried me. Mourned me and moved on."

"Did you know your mother was at the dedication?" Jak asked quietly. Christie nodded. "And you didn't approach."

"I was with _Cerberus_ , Jak!" Christie snapped. "I wasn't going to put her in danger just for my own emotional well being!"

"Then I was wrong." Jak said softly as he moved to the bed and sat. He reached out and took her left hand in both of his. It was shaking. "This is going to hurt, Christie. It hurts _me_. I got you killed."

"Almost." Christie said weakly, but she stiffened as Jak shook his head. "What?"

"When I was finally lucid enough, the Alliance sent debriefing teams to talk to me." Jak said quietly. "Several of them. They took me through the events and what they found after. I didn't remember what had happened after the crash. But I remember the before. We were moving on the slaver ship, masking ourselves behind what cover I could find. It wasn't enough."

"I remember." Christie said weakly. "The ship had surface to air active and we were… It all went black as we started our approach."

"They showed me holos of the crash site. Of the gunship, what was left of it. We were hit by an anti-air turret. You took a fourteen millimeter railgun round to the chest, Christie." Jak said quietly. Christie paled. "It went through the kinetic barriers, through our gunship's armor, through _you_ and out the other side of the canopy. You bled out in seconds."

"But..." Christie was shaking her head and Jak gave her hands a squeeze. "Cerberus?" She asked in a tiny voice. Jak nodded. "Oh my god."

"Thing is, if you _remember_ your life… And you _do_." Jak mused. "Then you cannot be a clone because not even Cerberus has the tech to transfer memories. I thought you were. I am sorry."

"They had a _lot_ of weird high tech stuff in the lab I woke up in, Jak." Christie warned. "I didn't understand any of it. They told me I had been rescued. But… Later I found out the Alliance had buried a body. Did Cerberus leave a body? _Make_ one? I don't know. Maybe I _am_ a clone."

"If you are going with Ryder, it doesn't matter." Jak said with a nod as he gave her hands another squeeze. They were clammy from her shock. "They won't need a gunship weapon's officer, but you have a lot of other skills." He smiled. "Not the least is tricking your command pilot into thinking you had slept with him."

"Jak." Christie tried for a forbidding tone, but mirth bubbled through it.

"You might have trouble getting your bubble gum." Jak continued. "You might want to stock up."

"Jak!" Now Christie was laughing again. "I um… I will go. You will too?"

"We will go separate." Jak said with a sigh. "I need to stay with Lara and Korri. We cannot be separated for long or we will die." Christie's eyes bulged and then she nodded. "The rachni are sending a queen egg along for the ride."

" _One_ egg?" Christie asked, concerned. Jak nodded.

"According to them that is all they need to start a colony." Jak shrugged. "Not going to argue with them. They have done far too much for us to quibble about how they do things. Did… Did anyone tell you about Shepherd's theory?"

"The Reapers." Christie shivered. "Yeah. We were told about that. Mass extinctions of high tech societies every fifty thousand years and our time is coming. We were preparing. Cerberus that is." She stared at Jak and then she hissed. " _That_ is why the rachni are sending an egg. To make sure some of them survive."

"Got it in one, Warrant. Even if you **do** still sound like a snake queen when you do that." Jak smiled at her and Christie swatted at him with her free hand.

"I am in." Christie said firmly. "They helped me. How can I help?"

"Right now?" Jak shook his head. "You need to go to an interview. They do full psyche screenings, so they will tell that you are nuts. But no more nuts than the rest of us."

"Yeah." Christie sank back into the bed for a moment and Jak released her hand. "Sleep hundreds of years and wake up in a whole new galaxy? Unreal." She closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them, her face was serious. "You know that Cerberus will do everything in their power to get agents aboard. Do the Initiative folks?"

"Yeah." Jak said with a shrug. "And yes, Ryder knows about your history. He said not to lie about it. You were Cerberus and you were rescued. They messed with your head, some friend undid it. Simple."

"What that is your idea of simple, we all know life is seriously screwed up." Christie joked, but Jak did not smile. She stared at him, worried. "Jak?"

"You know what Cerberus did to me and Lara." It wasn't a question, but Christie nodded anyway. "The docs here couldn't get Lara's prosthetic voice to work right so we went down to the planet. To a specialist. The Alliance took her from there and tried to scan her. Korri and I argued the point. Hackett had an N7 there to keep me and Korri in check." Christie inhaled sharply and Jak nodded. "I um… I have burned my bridges with the Alliance. They didn't bother to _ask_. They just took her. You know what they could have done. What they _would_ have done if she didn't have people protecting her."

"Oh shit." Christie said weakly. "Jak… I..."

"We are part of the Andromeda Initiative now." Jak said softly. "Our future lies in Andromeda. Not here." he shook his had. "Let me know when you are ready."

"Let me check with Illia." Christie said with a sigh. "This thing on my leg would freak people out."

"Ya _think?_ " Jak asked and recoiled as Christie swatted at him. "Hey!"

"You know..." Christie smiled as she stood up a bit slowly. Jak rose and staggered a bit. He was really tired. She caught him and held him until he had his feet under himself.

"This may be a bit _too much_ like old times."


	28. Chapter 28

**Adult**

It wasn't what he expected. Not at all.

Jak eyed the cryo pod as it sealed around Christie and then shook his head. The asari who was overseeing the operation looked at him and he sighed.

"Not at all like the cryo pods I am used to, doctor T'Perin." Jak said with a shrug."In the military it was all clinical, impersonal." Instead of the drab and dour military cryogenic facilities that Jak had seen on every Alliance ship he had served aboard, this bay was bright and almost cheerful while maintaining its sterile cleanliness.

She thought about that and then nodded, but did not speak as two other pods started closing. Christie's pod was sealed now and a set of arms swung down to grab it and move it into the massive racks of similar pods. They extended as far back as Jak could see. A gray mist hazed the distance as Ryder appeared at the entrance to the bay and waved to Jak.

"Thanks, doc. I know it disrupted your schedules, but thanks. She deserves a chance at a new life." Jak smiled at the doc who returned it before focusing on the many humans who lay ready to begin the long trip to Andromeda. He strode to Ryder without a backward glance. "The doc is good." He said to the former N7.

"We only take the best." Ryder said with a small smile of pride. "But this was an easy sell. Your friend was a shoe-in for security work and highly tech skilled as well. We had no problem finding her a place." He eyed Jak. "Korri is a different story."

"I didn't know she was a biotic." Jak said quietly as they walked.

"We don't have a problem with biotics, Jak." Ryder shrugged. "I am one myself. She needs an amp and some specialized training but we could manage that. The problem is that in the eyes of the rest of the quarians, she is a child." Jak bristled and Ryder held up a hand. "I know what you are going to say and I _agree_. She has passed _every_ psyche test with flying colors. Whatever your...other friends did to her helped her immeasurably."

"It helps that she is not alone now." Jak replied. He reached out for Korri's mind and she sent him back a sense of thanks and reassurance mixed with some apprehension. Lara was still asleep. She had been more than a bit angered by what had happened and it had taken Jak and Korri several hours to calm her down. "So… what?"

"Quarians go on pilgrimage to show that they are adults." Ryder said quietly. "I don't know all of the cultural context. But essentially, they go looking for something to benefit the quarian people. The quarians we have coming with us are different but they are still quarian."

"You mean they are nuts like us." Jak said with a smile. Ryder shook his head, but he was apparently amused as well. "All they likely know about Korri is that she was crazy. They cannot know she was forced into that mold or why." He paused. "Any sign of the other quarian? The one that was hunting Korri?"

"No and that worries me too." Ryder growled halfheartedly. "I dealt with military intelligence types a lot when I was in the service. Some were reasonably decent. Others?" He grunted.

"Yeah." Jak made the same kind of grunt. "Seen it myself. So...what? Korri cannot go gallivanting off across the cosmos. For one thing, we are ramping up to leave. For another, she wouldn't be safe."

"Well, the whole point of a pilgrimage to is to show that a quarian can provide a benefit to the quarian people. From what little I know, biotics are incredibly rare in quarian society." Ryder said with a nod of agreement. "They don't have enough eezo to intentionally waste it on trying to get someone the ability. Not to mention how dangerous that is to he subject. Add to that, anything that could expose a crew member to such would likely threaten a whole ship. Not a good thing when you live your whole lives on one."

"We know they poisoned her." Jak said slowly. "What if… whoever did that did it too?"

"If _they_ did that to her and the rest of the quarians find out, it could tear their society apart." Ryder warned. Jak felt Korri's horror as his own and nodded. "What does she want?"

 _I want to stay with you and Lara._ Korri sent. _You are my family._

"She wants to stay with us." Jak said with a small frown. " _We_ consider her an adult."

"Jak..." Ryder actually groaned. "We may and yes, I include myself in that since I have met her. But the quarians do not. You do know how most humans feel about taking and holding an underage person?" Jak glared at the former N7 but his heart wasn't really in it. "Yeah. The courts do not like things like that."

"She is not a child!" Jak protested.

"You and I may know that, Jak." Ryder replied. "But according to her people's customs, she is. So she needs to prove to them that she is an adult."

 _I can do that._ Korri's soft words had Jak freezing in mid-stride. Ryder paused as well and waited while Jak fought with his emotions. _Jak, I can._

 _Korri…_ Jak wasn't sure what he was trying to say. He sent worry, exasperation, love and affection across the link to her and she reciprocated.

 _Tell him I can. I need to show a group of my people. They all need to see and me._ Korri sent. Jak sighed and repeated her words to Ryder who frowned.

"The quarians in the Initiative are sending a delegation to talk to you, Jak." Ryder said with a slow nod. "And to me. Some of them want you charged with endangering a minor after what happened on Earth." Korri's instant rage had Jak reeling.

 _Oh, no they don't! What I did was my choice!_ Korri snapped in Jak's head. _Jak! Set up meeting._ _I will be there._

"Korri is a more than a little upset by that." Jak said softly. "Ryder…"

"We need the quarians." Ryder said with a shrug. "They know more about ship working that any navy I know of. It is literally their life. If anyone can get the other races' representatives to Andromeda, they can."

He looked at Jak and Jak nodded. Even here, even now, no one wanted to broadcast the truth of the Reapers for fear of causing a mass panic. One not publicized purpose of the Initiative was to provide lifeboats for a number of species in the Milky Way.

 _We can._ Korri's instant reply was completely sincere. _Jak. I can do this._

 _I have already put you in danger, Korri._ Jak protested as he started off, Ryder following. _You could have been killed._

 _I wasn't._ Korri replied and steel sounded in her tone. _Just like on Earth, this is my choice, Jak. Not yours. I will meet with them._

 _I still consider myself your protector._ Jak said quietly. _No disrespect is intended, Korri. But I do. I will be there._

 _I know. Thank you._ Korri sent grateful thanks to his mind and Jak relaxed. _But this fight is mine._

"Would it help for me to say 'I have a really bad feeling about this'?" Jak asked sourly. Ryder snickered and shook his head.

"Figured."

* * *

An hour later

Jak stood in the conference room. It was set up for a meeting, with a large table and comfortable chairs scattered about it. He was waiting for Ryder to bring the delegation. Korri sat in one of the chairs, working on something that Jak couldn't see clearly. He still wasn't happy, but both Korri and Lara, who had finally woken, were adamant that Korri had to do this. Lara was still in the doc's clutches and would be for a few more hours, but she was fine except for a persistent headache from the residual energy from the scans. According to every professional including the rachni, it was simply an aftereffect and would fade in time, but the docs did not want to take any chances with her now. They felt responsible for not being able to help her voice and sending her to Earth where she had been abducted.

Jak still didn't feel quite right in the uniform of the Initiative. The white and blue didn't feel real to him, yet. Someday, probably it would. But not yet. He had dispensation to wear a sidearm since he was still Korri's protector and he knew when now to use it aboard ship. He stood by one wall as the door opened and four quarians stepped in, followed by Ryder. Jak's arms were crossed over his chest, but his hand was less than a second away from his pistol.

"Why is that human armed?" A female quarian snapped to Ryder who shrugged.

"Because he takes his responsibility to his family very seriously, Kala'Sintal." Korri said calmly from where she sat. Everyone froze as she stood up. "And he _is_ my family." _Don't react._ She sent to Jak. _She is trying to provoke you._

"Korri'Lamat nar Rayya." The female quarian looked her over. "You have come a long way."

"Step by step." Korri replied in a neutral voice. "You demanded this meeting." She shook her head. "You will not take me from my family as the fleet did my father."

At that, everything suddenly stopped in the room. The other three quarians had been fidgeting. Now, none of them seemed to be _breathing_. Korri laid a hand on Jak's arm and nodded to the others.

"I don't know what you have heard about me. I am sure much of it is fanciful or exaggerated." Korri said quietly. "The truth is, I was unbalanced when I lived on the Rayya. The fact is, I was _made_ to be that way. It was not by my choice. I lashed out because I knew no better. Because I was hurting and the only one who dared try to help me was Elan'Shiya."

"Child..." One of the male quarians said slowly. "You are not going."

"That is not your choice, Kal'Sheger." Korri said with a snarl. Jak looked at her and shook his head slightly. She visibly forced herself to relax. "No. You will not provoke me. I will not let you provoke me into rash actions. You cannot separate me from my family or it will kill all three of us. Not that I expect quarians to care about such things."

"Korri." Jak kept his voice low and calm with effort as Korri sounded a step from sobbing.

"I know, Jak." Korri said sadly. "I know. I am still angry. I probably always will be. But I know the root cause of the anger now and no, I refuse to let some moronic boshtets in the quarians military dictate to me what I am."

"What do you mean?" The female who had spoken before sounded shaken.

"Did you know my suit had a bomb built into it?" Korri asked quietly. All of the other quarians hissed in shock as the female one shook her head. "And a toxin dispenser. Whoever put that in, really did not want me leaving."

"Korri'Lamant you are a danger to everyone around you." The female said slowly. "A bomb is extreme. Poison is extreme, but you nearly set fire to the Rayya!"

"And do you know _why_?" Korri asked. No one dared move. "I didn't understand why myself. Not until a very good friend pulled the brainwashing out of my head and let me look at it clinically."

" _Brainwashing?_ " Either the other female quarian was an incredible actress or she was truly shocked by that.

"Delusions." The male quarian snapped. "More insanity. The Fleet offered you a place and care. And this is how you thank them?"

"The fleet did." Korri admitted. "But there were those _among_ the fleet who continued to hurt me. And now, thanks to good friends and good people, I know _why_." She looked at Jak who paled as realization dawned. "Yes, Jak. That is probably what they wanted. A controllable pawn. A super soldier. The geth have no counter for such. My own wishes are immaterial after all. A crazy woman's wishes matter to no one."

"They matter to me and Lara." Jak muttered in a tone that carried. "You are not crazy."

"But I was." Korri said sadly. "For so long, lost in haze of fear and pain. Only moments of lucidity. Elan'Shiya was the first to show me true kindness and what was her reward? I was to hurt her. I was to program the oxygen manifold to blow while she was close to it. I tried to blow myself up instead and, yes." She sobbed. "I nearly killed everyone on the Rayya because I had no idea what I was doing when I tried to keep from following the orders I had been given. I never denied that."

"No, you never did." Kala'Sintal said quietly. "And you never spoke of this..."

"The brainwashing wouldn't let me until it was removed." Korri looked at Jak and fondness sang in her tone. "My new family took me in, despite everything. Despite my struggles, my rants. They took me in and helped me cope me no matter how much I fought, no matter how hard I screamed and cried. They gave me a life that I have never dreamed of and I love them for it!" The others stared at her and Korri shook her head. "Your concerns are noted. But I _do_ have a gift for the quarian people. Not the fleet whose ancestors killed my father's family and some of whose present members drove me mad, but the quarians of the Initiative. _You_."

She looked at Jak and he smiled and nodded as he activated his omni-tool.

Everyone but Jak and Ryder took a step back as Korri was sudden wreathed in blue-black energy. She raised her arms and took hold of her helmet.

"What? NO!" Kala'Sintal shouted as Korri undid her helmet visor and it came down in her hand. She smiled at Kala'Sintal and opened her mouth. Everyone had frozen as Korri shook her head. Blue energy flowed around Korri's bare face as she started singing to the music that was coming from Jak's omni-tool. Her pure soprano voice sounded out and everyone simply stared as heaven itself seemed to come to rest among them.

'Here we are  
Riding the sky  
Painting the night with sun  
You and I, Mirrors of light  
Twin flames of fire  
Lit in another time and place

I knew your name  
I knew your face  
Your love and grace  
Past and present now embrace  
Worlds collide in inner space  
Unstoppable, the song we play'

As she started the next verse, Jak started to sing along softly as Korri's form was bouyed up into the air by her power and she was suddenly dancing in midair! Ryder was smiling widely, a first in Jak's experience as Korri sang and danced to the ancient tune 'Star Sky' by Two Steps From Hell, a favorite of the Alliance Military. Jak knew it by heart. Most Special Forces did. Music was always a good thing to pass the time on long interstellar jaunts and Two Steps From Hell had always been a good choice. Also appropriate for military forces..

By the third verse, _e_ _veryone_ was humming or singing with Korri as she sang. Her dance was simple, but her voice… An _angel_ was singing. Jak felt this eyes burn as Korri began the last verse. Now, he was singing strongly, his rough baritone a counterpoint to her _glory_. Ryder was singing softly as well.

'Burn the page for me  
I cannot erase the time of sleep  
I cannot be loved so set me free  
I cannot deliver your love  
Or caress your soul so  
turn that page for me  
I cannot embrace the touch that you give  
I cannot find solace in your words  
I cannot deliver you your love  
or caress your soul'

The music ended and Korri stepped down from midair to stand by Jak. Her head was held high and she smiled at Jak who returned it.

"How?" Kala'Sintal begged as Korri replaced her visor. "I mean, obviously you are a biotic."

"Yes. I generated a field that kept me safe while I sang and let me dance in mid-air. My field would keep me safe in open _space_. I didn't know until Jak brought me to safety." Korri said quietly. "One of his allies is a biotic and she sensed the potential in me. I am not very powerful as biotics go. We did not understand how it happened, but on deliberation, it makes sense. The ones who poisoned me. They did this to me. They exposed me to element zero. Either they gain a powerful tool or they lose a problem. Win-win."

"That is _evil_." One of the other quarians said with a gulp.

"Our people are no better or worse than any other." Korri said with a sigh. "Jak didn't know I was a biotic until Earth. I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Oh, rest assured it _was_." Jak smiled at Korri to take the sting from his words and she nodded to him. "We cannot send Korri back to the fleet. If she separates from me and Lara, she dies."

"But… Stasis. Six hundred years of stasis?" Kala'Sintal turned to Ryder who sighed. "Can they survive that?"

"Honestly, we don't know." Ryder admitted. "Every test that has been run says it will be safe. The three of them will enter cryo at the same time. I am leaving sealed orders that they be woken at the same time in case something happens to me."

"We cannot stay here." Korri said sadly. "The Alliance, Cerberus and others… They want to know how Jak and Lara are linked. I am not a soldier. I want to be a singer and medic. They will do horrible things to my family. Please." She begged. "Please understand, _these_ are my family. They gave me a place when they didn't have to!"

"Yes, we did." Jak said quietly. "You were hurting and we could help. We had to. Not everyone would agree, but when I can help? I want to." He laid a hand on her shoulder and she was trembling slightly. "Are you sure you are okay? You nearly gave me a heart attack when you took off your visor. You told me you were going to dance, but not with _death_."

"I am okay, Jak." Korri said in a long suffering tone. "Dark energy tends to destroy anything it touches. Bacteria, viruses and such have no chance against it." She snorted. "That is one one reason asari make such good doctors. They are essentially immune to most illnesses." Jak crossed his arms and glared at her. She sighed. "Okay, okay. I will let the docs check me."

"You better." Jak said flatly. "Or I will sic Lara on you."

"You _would_." Korri said so sourly that everyone else laughed. Even Ryder's normal stern visage cracked for a moment. She took a deep breath and turned to the four quarians. "This was recorded. I fully intend to perform for the Initiative. To serve as a morale booster in addition to medic. Is that enough of a gift?"

"I don't know about anyone else." Kala'Sintal said quietly. "You have _my_ vote." All the others nodded. "Even if I _also_ nearly had heart attack when you took off your visor. Can you do that… anytime?" Jak cleared his throat loudly and the female quarian laughed. "We will talk, Korri'Lamant vas _Hyperion_."

All of the other quarians nodded their acceptance and Jak finally relaxed.

"Have your people call my people." Korri laughed.

"We will do lunch."

* * *

 **'Star Sky' by Two Steps from Hell is NOT my work but it is totally epic.**

 **watch?v=Xk-Sauafa6Y**


	29. Chapter 29

**Options**

It had been a long day and Jak was tired. But they were done. The shuttle was stored in the Hyperion's cavernous storage bays, the queen egg and geth consensus slumbering safely inside the confines of the small ship. He smiled as he looked down the rows of identical shuttles. The Hyperion had over a hundred shuttles stored in this bay and others like it scattered around the ship. They were packed in tightly with no wasted space at all. They hadn't flown in, they had been loaded. It had been quite a challenge to get the shuttle in near the back, but it had been done and no one was the wiser. Talk about hiding something in plain sight! Every single shuttle was exactly the same on the outside. Only on the inside were each used to store things. Foodstuffs, ammunition, weapons, tools and other essential supplies, the _basic_ list for the Hyperion's essential supplies was twenty _pages_ long! The dextro food stores that filled the shuttle were for Korri as were the massive files of music that Jak had managed to acquire. He hoped to surprise her with the gift when they woke, she hadn't asked for such, but he knew she loved hearing new music. He had tunes from elcor, hanar, drell, volus, asari, turian, salarian and even some krogan tunes in that file. It was two zetabytes and totally worth it.

Even in the worst case scenario, the shuttle that Illia and her friends had constructed wouldn't be touched for years after the first shuttles were pulled for use. Jak had left a message coded for the pathfinders in the shuttle's recorders, just in case he did not make it to Andromeda. If he didn't make it, maybe Ryder would. If not? In that case, the Initiative would need to know about the stowaways before some luckless tech cracked the shuttle apart for spare parts and had a heart attack when the egg hatched.

It was done. The egg was as safe as the rest of them. Jak closed the hatch and leaned against the wall, panting slightly. To get into the shuttle had required him climbing over fifteen others. It hadn't been fun and he was slightly out of shape besides. He would have to work on that in Andromeda.

 _You need sleep Jak._ Lara sent from where she was working to help the medics get the last few hundred colonists into stasis. She wasn't a cryo tech, but she _was_ a trained medic. She was happy to help and they were happy to have her.

 _We will get plenty soon, Lara. How are you doing?_ He asked and she sent him a mental raspberry in reply. _Lara_.

 _Home stretch. We have a_ _hundred and thirteen left to go, Jak._ Lara replied. _Then you, me and Korri go in. I am nervous._ She admitted.

 _What we are doing is crazy, Lara._ Jak replied with a mental raspberry of his own. _Of course you are nervous._ _But this is our best chance at a fresh start and there are all kinds of ways that we can help a fledgling colony. Two medics and a pilot? All mind linked? Oh yes, we can help a lot even without the rachni and geth._

 _Can you two keep it down?_ Korri's sleepy voice sounded and both of them paused. _I am trying to sleep here._ But her tone was amused rather than upset.

 _You didn't think it would tire you out so badly, did you?_ Jak teased gently and Korri made a disgusted noise. _Entertainers have to be in good shape, Korri. Just standing for a full length concert can be tiring without the effort they put in. Add in your biotics and you will need a_ **lot** _of energy._

 _Don't remind me._ Korri groaned. _Those energy drinks taste like recycled bathwater._ _You would think the sterilizer would take the taste away, but no..._

 _Since_ _you are awake, you will drink another._ Lara's tone brooked no quibbling and Korri groaned. _Now._

 _You are taking the 'mother' thing a bit far, don't you think?"_ Korri sounded sour, but they could feel her mind perk up as she drank and her body's energy was revitalized. _Gah! This is_ **awful** _!_

 _Maybe._ Lara admitted. _We are close to the same age. But we love you Korri, even with all your flaws, you are one of us and_ **don't** _you forget it._ A feeling of warmth came from her and swept through Jak on the way to Korri who made a soft, sad noise. But then she snickered.

 _Yes mother._ Korri replied primly.

Jak was chuckling when something hit him and the lights went out.

* * *

An indeterminate time later

Jak was aware of Korri and Lara both calling his name as he woke. He had sealed the shuttle, he remembered that. Then he had been heading back to his quarters to rest and… His memory cut out as if it had been damaged again. But it hadn't been. Everything was still clear in his head.

He was lying on his stomach and when he tried his hands, they wouldn't move. His legs were likewise bound. He cracked his eyes and, no surprise, they were covered by something. From the stickiness and smell, tape. He hoped it wasn't duct tape, that would be a pain to get off.

"Back with us." The synthesized voice was from a quarian. Nothing else sounded like the filters from a quarian exosuit. Not one Jak had met. He started to reply and something round and cold pressed into the back of his skull. "Don't. Don't call out. I don't want to kill you, but I will if I must."

"Yeah." Jak was amazed his voice was so clear and calm. This had to be the quarian who was hunting Korri, who had hurt Elan'Shiya.. "So much easier to torture people when they are alive and aware."

He could feel Lara and Korri's panic as he did not respond. Could they track him? He had to hope they could.

"I have no intention of torturing you, Lieutenant Jak Collains." The other replied calmly. "I just want Korri'Lamant. No one needs to get hurt." Jak turned his head until he was eyeing the direction the voice was coming from. What had to be a pistol barrel was pressed to his temple now.

"I wasn't talking about _me_ , asshole." Jak snapped. "Was it you? Or are you the cut out?"

"Your delays are pointless." The other replied, still calm. "The scanner block I am carrying will keep the security forces from detecting us and you were on your way back to your quarters and your mate."

"Didn't the _last_ time you shitheads hurt Lara teach you quarians anything?" Jak demanded. "Oh, wait. You are _intelligence_ , you don't need to learn, you know it all _already!_ " He scoffed. "Go on, shoot. I won't help you."

Two sharp intakes of breath in his mind. The others could hear what he said, they knew what was happening. Spikes of fear mixed with anger came from them, but Jak blocked them out. He knew they would be calling everyone they could now. Sounding the alert, hopefully a quiet alert so as not to startle the intelligence operative who had captured Jak.

"I have no intention of shooting you, but your reputation precedes you and I will if I must. Your cooperation is neither needed nor wanted, since you would delay or attempt subterfuge." The other replied, still calm. "Korri'Lamant is entirely predictable. She will trade herself for you and we will leave."

"And they call _me_ crazy." Jak actually laughed at that. "And what will the Initiative security forces be doing while you are just merrily sailing away, hmmm?"

"The girl is insane and a danger to everyone aboard this ship." The other replied. "They will be glad to be rid of her."

"Is that what you told the security on the Rayya?" Jak asked, calming a little. "When you exposed her to eezo? When you brainwashed her to be a puppet?" The other did not respond and Jak continued. "If you are going to lie, fool, at least try to make your lies _convincing_. A half trained first year at the flight school I went to could do better than _that_."

"You do not know what you are talking about." The other replied. "In five minutes, we will be leaving."

"Oh, I don't, do I?" Jak asked softly. "So we _didn't_ disarm the bomb or keep the toxin some sneaky scum like you implanted in her suit from killing her. We _didn't_ talk to her, help her past her grief and fear. We _didn't_ pull the brainwashing out into the open to let her see it for what it was." He snorted. "That is good to know."

"Be silent." The other commanded, but Jak ignored him.

"So, we _didn't_ discover that she is a biotic, an incredibly rare occurrence for quarians since you people are fastidious about safety and cleanliness. No accidental eezo contamination is going to occur on any well run ship of the Flotilla." Jak continued. "So, the only way for her to be exposed to eezo was for _someone_ to have _done_ it to her." He smirked at the sudden silence. "Now… Who could _possibly_ benefit from one, brainwashing a girl into obeying orders and two, making her a biotic? After all, she is crazy. No one will believe any story she spouts." Jak snarled now. "Yeah. Who _could_ possibly believe a story like that?"

"No one." The quarian replied. "The facts say otherwise."

"No." Jak retorted. " _Y_ _our_ facts says otherwise. But reality and your facts are _not_ the same thing no matter how much you may wish they are. You fucked up, big time. I won't help you and Korri is going nowhere with you."

"That is not for you to say." The quarian was finally losing patience. "She is quarian. She belongs with the fleet."

"Yeah." Jak snapped. "Just like her father did. So… gonna kill everyone _here_ like you scum did before?"

"Korri'Lamant's father was a traitor." The other said coldly.

"Funny." For his part, Jak was getting angrier. "I didn't think he ever swore oaths to the Fleet no matter what you morons demanded. So, technically he was a _prisoner_ , not a member of the Fleet. Hard to blame him after what you did, but hey, who cares?" He asked. "You got what you wanted. You got the resources and tech his family had made, and all if cost was a few inconsequential lives and a little boy's sight. A good bargain for the likes of you."

"You do not know the truth of that." The quarian said coldly.

"And you _do_?" Jak retorted. "Were you there? Did you pull the trigger on his mother and father personally? I can see someone like you doing that and not losing any sleep. After all, they are not _your_ kind, so they don't matter. Pity you didn't get the chance to rape them, you might have-" Jak's face slammed into the deck and he was smiling as he recoiled. "Go ahead, asshole, or better yet, boshtet. You are a boshtet and a stupid one at that."

 _What the_ **hell** _are you doing?_ Lara demanded in his mind. _He will_ **kill** _you!_

 _Don't let Korri out of the room!_ Jak snapped to her. _I have this!_ Korri was crying in his mind, but Jak fought to keep them both away. He had to stay focused. Korri's life depended on it.

"Is that the best you can do?" Jak demanded. "I have seen little girls who hit harder than that. Then again, a bound and helpless prisoner is more your style, isn't it? Killing is easy when they cannot fight back."

"You provoking me will not help." The quarian replied. Strong hands lifted Jak and he was roughly thrown onto something that yielded underneath him. "I am here for Korri'Lamant and nothing else."

"That is not her _name_ , asshole." Jak retorted even as further pain flared in his arms and legs. He was strapped to the yielding surface. Had to be a hover pallet or something. He would probably be gagged and covered by something to hide him unless this guy was a complete idiot. "Her name is Korri'Lamant vas Hyperion and you are making a very big mistake."

"No, I am not." The other said flatly and Jak fought as hands gripped his face. He couldn't fight much and the tape that went over his mouth was just as nasty tasting as the bits over his eyes had been smelling. His body was strapped down on the surface he was lying on and something hot and heavy was thrown over top of him.

 _He has to be going to a hatch or shuttle bay._ Jak sent to Lara who was crying softly Korri was screaming and he kept her walled off a little. _Korri, Korri, no. Stop. We cannot let him take you._

 _ **Jak!**_ Korri's scream in his mind was mix of rage, terror and barely repressed violence.

 _He is not going to kill me or he will start a war and he knows it._ Jak reassured her. _I know his type. It is all about the mission. He isn't thinking about anything_ **but** _the mission. But that is not a good thing. He may not kill_ **me** _, but he will kill anyone_ **else** _he sees to complete it. Warn everyone, Lara._

 _I have._ Lara said weakly. _Jak, internal sensors are not able to pick you up. This ship is huge._

 _I know._ Jak said heavily. _He has some kind of scan blocker._ He broke off as a gasp sounded from somewhere nearby. Two muffled reports sounded close at hand. He went completely still as a warm mass slammed into the surface beside him. A groan sounded. Whoever it was, they were still alive! _He just shot someone!_

"What the hell?" A totally unexpected weak voice came from beside Jak. Princilla Rivers was upset but she was still alive. She gasped in pain. "What are you _doing?_ You _shot_ me."

"Shut up." The quarian said flatly. "You were supposed to _leave_ , human. That was what you were paid to do." The sound of tape ripping heralded the mas beside Jak struggling a bit. Had she been gagged? Jak wasn't sure if he should be horrified or happy.

 _Paid?_ Jak stammered in his mind and then it focused with laser like intensity. _Oh shit! Rivers is a mole of some kind! He said he paid her._

 _That bitch!_ Lara's mind was filled with a terrible lust for violence now and Jak took a moment to soothe her.

 _We will deal with her later._ Jak promised. _Korri is the important one now._

 _Korri is…_ Lara broke off and then gasped. _Korri! What are you_ **doing** _? Get back to your quarters!_

 _He sent a message._ Korri's mental tone was calm, too calm. She was terrified but working to hide it. _If I don't go, he will kill Jak._

 _If you_ **do** _come, he will take you and we all die._ Jak said with dreadful force. _Or he just eliminates you and we all die anyway. Korri, you cannot give him what he wants._

 _Oh, I am not._ Korri reassured him. _He said to come alone. He said to be unarmed. He said not to speak to anyone on the_ **Hyperion** _._ Amusement warred with disgust in her mental voice.

 _You didn't…_ Jak said slowly as a smile tried to creep across his features. _Illia? You there?_

 _Did you_ **really** _think we would just_ **leave** _?_ Illia's mind voice was amused. _Especially after what happened on Earth? We are with you until you jump for Andromeda. I am coordinating with Captain Dunn, the commander of the ship. There are others involved. The quarians of the Initiative are a bit upset by this._

 _I think almost everyone is._ Jak replied. _Any idea where he is taking me? He shot Rivers and said he had paid her for something._

 _Well…_ Illia growled something vile under her breath. _That might explain the four unmarked shuttles that are trying to get into one of the Hyperion's docking bays. Except… there are no quarians on any of them according to ship's scanners. Mercs?_ She mused. _What the hell? Four squads of Blue Suns mercs? What can they possibly hope to achieve here? We are in the middle of the Sol system.  
_

 _Hijack? Ransom? Theft of tech? Does it matter?_ Jak asked quietly. _I bet Rivers sold the docking codes to them as well as this creep. She is just the type to try and make money off other peoples' suffering._

 _We will deal with her once we have you and Korri safe._ Illia promised. _The mercs are splitting up, each shuttle moving to a different hangars… Oh dear…_ She snickered. _One just landed in a hangar where Ryder was setting up an ambush in case the quarian went there._

 _Silly mercs. That is gonna hurt._ Jak said a bit weakly as gunfire sounded ahead. Whatever he was on stopped abruptly. _And it seems that hangar_ **was** _the original destination. Korri, stay away!_

"I can't do that, Jak." Korri's voice sounded from nearby and Jak felt his guts turn to ice. "He said he would kill you and gave a time limit. I am here, boshtet." She snapped. "Let him go."

"Not until we are clear." The other said calmly. "Hands." His voice turned colder. "Give me your hands. _Now_."

"Let's see." Korri said slowly. "If I let you take me, I die, Jak dies, Lara dies. If I _don't_ let you take me, Jak dies, Lara dies, I die. I am dead either way. You are not taking me."

"Don't be _stupid_ , girl!" The other snapped. "We don't have time for your silly dithering-" His voice broke off as a sick thwock sound was heard. A shot sounded in the near distance.

"It wasn't dithering." Korri said flatly as whatever was on Jak was pulled off. A different quarian voice cursed softly as his arms and legs were unbound. "It was called acting as a distraction. Good shot, Perrin'Shiya."

"Nice set up, Korri'Lamant." The hands that were easing Jak upright were not Korri's. He could tell the suit was subtly different from Korri's. "Gah, This tape is going to make things hard."

 _Don't take you eyes off him!_ Jak screamed at Korri who gasped. Then another shot sounded, not from the quarian's weapon. That was a Predator pistol. It fired again and again and again. A body hit the deck with a thump as the hands that held Jak trembled.

 _Here._ Lara's mental tone was cold and clinical as something wet drenched Jak's face. Whatever it was, it tasted of alcohol and Jak gasped as the gag was pulled off, followed by the blindfold. It stung, but he didn't loose any hair, so it was all good. He looked up at Lara and her face was cool, remote. It was mask for pain and heartbreak. A pistol smoked a little in in her hand and when Jak looked, a quarian lay on the floor, many holes in his envirosuit.

"Oh Lara." Jak reached up and took hold of his mate. She trembled and did not resist when he took the pistol out of nerveless fingers and safetied it. "I love you."

-I know- Her synthesized voice from her necklace sounded sort of like her mental tone, but not quite. -Oh, Jak!- She was crying as he hugged her tight. -I was so scared I would lose you again!-

"We almost lost everyone. Never take your eyes off an enemy until you are sure they are dead. When in doubt, double tap." Jak admonished the pair of still standing quarians nearby who nodded jerkily. But then Jak's eyes narrowed. "Wait. When did Perrin'Shiya get here?"

"Um..." Korri actually stammered and he stared at her. "He was with me when the scum called. I didn't say anything to him. He just followed me, grabbed a rifle and...well..."

-And _why_ was Perrin'Shiya with you?- Lara asked even as the male quarians holstered a Viper sniper rifle a bit sheepishly. -You were supposed to be in your quarters. Sleeping and- Lara's voice broke off suddenly, her mental feel sharp with shock. Jak slowly rose to his full height. Both quarians were almost shuffling their feet!

"More _importantly_..." Jak said in a dangerous tone. " _When_ did he get here?"

"Ah..." Korri said weakly, confirming Jak's suspicion. The male quarian would not meet his eyes and Jak sighed.

"Are we going to have to have the birds and bees discussion now?"


	30. Chapter 30

**The Dream**

Jak was dreaming. He knew that. He had dreamed so much, so many horrors in his past coming to he fore in his sleep. But this was different. He was watching the past, but it wasn't a nightmare.

He watched again as Princilla Rivers was escorted from the Hyperion and straight into the arms of waiting Alliance police. He had known on meeting the woman that she was trouble, but he hadn't had a clue. She had sold the quarian and the Blue Suns mercs secure codes to several of the docking ports on the Hyperion. It wasn't clear exactly why she had done so, but the amounts of money that had appeared in her private accounts had been damning. As soon as she had been released from the doc's clutches, she had been escorted off the ship. The Initiative wasn't a military force, so she wouldn't face a firing squad no matter how much some might wish that.

Now that she was no longer aboard, she wasn't the Initiative's problem. The problem was despite some quality time with a pair of former intelligence operatives, no one could be sure how _many_ codes she had supplied the various groups who had paid her, so security had been forced to change _every_ code. As much a people had detested her before? Her greed had delayed the launch for three _days_ while security worked to make sure the ship was secure again. That had sucked, but Jak had helped as best he could.

But there were consolations.

He watched again as Korri danced on the Hyperion's common deck to a massive crowd of Initiative personnel. No matter what else happened, _Korri's_ place in the Initiative was secure. Everyone knew now that she had fought to protect the ship from someone who had hurt her in the past. It was conveniently left blank _how_ the other had hurt her. The quarians of the Initiative knew, and they were ashamed but Korri had shown everyone just how grown up she was now. In a strange ceremony that Jak hadn't fully understood, she had faced almost a hundred of her people, accepted her past and decided her future. One thing was clear to everyone now. Lamant had been the name of the security agent who had been tasked with keeping her in line. Not a father figure at all and if he had still be alive, Jak would have been _seriously_ tempted to make him less than that, but he had passed away five years precious, leaving Korri to the whims of the quarian intelligence service who had hurt her.

The Fleet had never officially acknowledged what had happened and no one had claimed the body of the intelligence operative who had tried to grab Korri. They never found any ID so he was cremated as a John Doe. The Admirals had promised to find out what they could, but Jak didn't hold out high hopes for that. Intelligence services kept secrets. It was what they did. Black ops were black for a reason and whoever had done what had been done to Korri had reason to keep it hidden. Quarians were no different from other people Jak had known in some ways. Fairly laid back until you pissed them off and then all hell broke loose. They _were_ pissed about what had been done to Korri. _Almost_ as pissed as Jak and Lara were.

So it had come to no one's surprise when after the main ceremony was done, Jak and Lara had stood up before the assembled quarians and formally adopted Korri into their family by both human and quarian traditions. Now she was Korri' _Collains_ vas Hyperion nar Rayya. This was the day after Jak and Lara had married in a quiet civil ceremony orchestrated by Captain Dunn of the Hyperion with Pathfinder Ryder, Korri and Perrin'Shiya as the only witnessed. Neither of them minded. Well, they didn't mind the ceremony or the pathfinder seeing it.

Neither Jak nor Lara were enthused by Perrin'Shiya's sudden attention to Korri. It wasn't really the boy's fault. He was younger than Korri and he was caught up in the dream of the Initiative. Here was an adventure, a chance to do something that no one had ever done before. It was like an old style myth or bard's tale, complete with damsel in distress. (Not that anyone dared call Lara a damsel. It would hurt!) Jak was caught up in the enthusiasm himself, but he was also older and experienced enough to know the truth of 'adventure'. They were great to read about or hear about as stories told over a few drinks, but _doing_ them? That was messy, dirty and often painful.

Jak would never say so openly, but Perrin'Shiya seemed like a good kid. He had a good head on his shoulders and knew when to keep his mouth shut, a rarity in young people of _any_ species. He hadn't actually _done_ anything with Korri. Lara's over-protectiveness might have driven a thresher maw away and Jak was working very hard to keep from smothering the girl too. Korri was so much better than she had been, but she was still fragile. To Perrin'Shiya's credit, he knew that and was working to remain her friend and _only_ her friend. Even when she had been sleeping in her quarters, he had simply been there for her. What the future held? None could say, but Korri could do far worse.

Not that Jak would _ever_ say that to the boy. He _did_ enjoy seeing the kid squirm.

He watched again as Perrin'Shiya left for the quarian ark. The sorrow in Korri's mind had been intense, but Jak and Lara had been adamant. Korri had to stay with them and Perrin'Shiya had to go back to his people. They had promised to meet up again in Andromeda and part of Jak really hoped they got the chance. Korri was a bit older than Perrin… No, _Perrin'Shiya_. Jak had to keep calling the kid by his formal name or he might get ideas. Korri was a bit older than Perrin'Shiya and she wasn't in any tearing hurry to figure anything out, to Jak and Lara's intense relief. The three had talked and Korri had admitted she liked the boy, but she wasn't really sure what to do with that feeling. She stayed away when Jak and Lara got close, both for privacy's sake and because it confused her. He wasn't Korri's birth father, but he figured the old quarian would be proud of her.

 _I am._

The words were not mental. Not aloud. They were something else. Jak stilled as the world shifted and he was standing on a green panel floating above a sea of geometric shapes. Another panel appeared, floating close to his and on it…

"Hello Jak." Zumin's face was serene here. He wore his usual envirosuit, but no helmet.

"Zumin." Jak said slowly. "I…" He slumped. "Is this a dream? They said we might dream in cryo."

"Jak..." Zumin smiled at him and Jak felt a bit of relief. "How much of _any_ of what you have gone through has made _any_ sense at all? Hmmm?" The quarian might have been blind, but he could see Jak's sudden embarrassment. "Hopefully, your new life will be a _bit_ less exciting."

"I am sorry, Zumin." Jak said sadly. "I didn't want to go. I knew it would hurt you both, but..."

"I know." The panel Zumin was standing on moved closer and suddenly it touched the one Jak stood on. "Jak, you did good. You know that, right?"

"Most of me does. Most of the time." Jak admitted. "Sometimes, though..." He sighed. "Sometimes, I just bounce from mistake to mistake."

"Jak that is _life_." Zumin said with a sad smile. "The only people who make no mistakes are those who make no choices." His blind eyes turned from side to side and he shook his head. "I didn't know about Korri. How could I?" He slumped a bit. "But I feel… responsible. Visha was a good soul and I repaid her with lies."

"You were a _prisoner!_ " Jak protested. "They killed your _family_!"

"Did they?" Zumin asked softly. "I never remembered clearly and as bad as Korri acted out? I was _worse_."

"Why does that not surprise me?" Jak asked with a grin. Zumin waved a finger at him and Jak smiled wider. "You were a bad old man when I knew you and if this isn't a dream..." He paused. "It isn't. Is it?'

"Jak, your mind works in very strange ways even discounting the connection between you and Lara." Zumin replied with a shrug. "After everything you went through, it is no surprise. I don't know if this is a dream, some fragment of code that emulates me, or whatever. No matter what, I cannot stay."

"What?" Jak said quickly. "But… Korri!"

"She is deeper in her sleep than you are." Zumin replied. "She cannot see or hear me and that is likely a good thing. This would hurt her. She is recovering. You are helping her recover. That is why I am here."

"Look, Zumin, I don't know anything about relationships!" Jak pleaded. "What do I do when she starts… um..."

"Getting urges?" Zumin asked slyly. Jak nodded, silent and then kicked himself and made a noise of agreement. "Better than I did. Visha got me drunk and seduced me one night."

"You are kidding!" Jak said slowly. Zumin shook his had. "You are not kidding. Really? How the _hell_ …?"

"Hey." Zumin smirked. "The suits do not make us sexless. Far from it. We can add all kinds of interesting additions to them. As for how? Lets just say, a sterile room, a bottle of hard spirits, a _birthday_ and leave it at that." His blind eyes speared Jak. "For all that she is well over twenty, Korri is still a child in many ways."

"And a good one. She was never given the chance to grow up. We will give her that chance." Jak said quietly. "She will recover. She will thrive." He smirked. "I may have to scare the shit out of Perrin'Shiya a few more times, but we will not stand in the way of her happiness. If she chooses someone, then that _is_ her choice, despite our link."

"You do an old angry quarian proud, Jak." Zumin had a wide smile on his face now. "That puts you ahead of about half the parents I knew in the fleet. Most of them are so focused on surviving that they forget to live. Bad things lurk in that mental place, Jak. As you well know."

"I am afraid, Zumin." Jak said quietly. "Not for myself, but for Korri, for Lara, for everyone who has taken us in. Even Ryder, that old ass that he is. The unknown is always scary. It was always, 'There be dragons' on ancient maps of Earth."

"Quarians had our own version, but I understand." Zumin sighed deeply and shook his head. "My time is up, Jak. I have to go. You will not see me again. Thank you for what you have done for Korri. I don't know what I would have done if I had discovered her existence while I was alive."

"You?" Jak a smile. "Something _nuts_."

"Right back at you, you silly human." Zumin was fading or _Jak_ was. "I love you and Lara too. You both became family while I knew you. Take care her, will you?"

"If she _lets_ me!" Jak paused and spoke something that had bothered him quite a bit since he had first woken and found out the truth of his lost memory. "Zumin. Where did the organic material the geth used to heal me and Lara come from?"

"If you didn't know that answer, Jak, we wouldn't be having this conversation since this is all in your mind." Zumin had vanished completely and Jak was falling. "As I proud as I am of Korri, I am also proud of you and Lara. And you know why. Why you heard Korri's songs before she understood what they were. Why you could feel Korri as soon as she came into your presence. Why it hurt so badly when you heard I was dead."

"It was yours." Jak said weakly. There was no answer and Jak shouted at the top of his lungs. "You put _quarian_ brain matter in us? No! NO! THAT CANNOT BE!"

Jak was screaming as the world shifted to hues of white around him. Then it shifted again, to cold rock walls that were infinitely less cold when a large mas moved nearby. It looked horrific, but it pulled Jak close and held him as he cried. It didn't _look_ like a rachni, but from the songs he could hear coming from it, it couldn't be anything else.

 _Hello._ The voice was small and quiet, but it held something more. A hint of power, a hint of worry and a feeling of comfort. _You shouldn't be awake, Jak Collains. I will ease you back into_ _proper rhythms for your long_ _sleep._ _The other two are fine, you will be in a few minutes._

 _You are the queen._ Jak begged as he tried to grip hold of something, anything, but it was like trying to grip fog. There was nothing there bu the music. _Are we…? What is happening?_

 _Your discordance woke me for a moment._ _I managed to hold it away from your mate and adopted daughter._ The queen said gently. _I am going back to sleep, but not before I ease your fear and pain. We have a long trip ahead of us, Jak Collains. Thanks to you, we have a chance to forge a new beginning. A better one. A chance at peace between our people and those who had to fight us_ _so long ago_ _._

 _But… I am not human anymore!_ Jak cried as the comforting presence held him.

 _So what?_ The other inquired gently. _You have those who care for you, no matter your form._ _N_ _o matter what is inside you._ _The hive will_ _care for you even if you are tiny compared to our minds and bodies._

 _But… he put quarian brain matter in me and Lara. That is not_ **possible** _!_ Jak protested.

 _And how much of what has happened to you recently_ **has** _been possible, hmmm?_ The queen asked kindly. Jak had to smile at that. True. _You are afraid, but you have no reason to be. You are not alone. Not here. Not in your mind. You are human, Jak Collains. You and Lara_ **are** _human_ _if slightly more like us than normal ones_ _. But we won't hold_ _your species_ _against you._ This last was highly amused.

 _Have to be strong…_ Jak said weakly as music soothed him on every possible level at once. _Lara, Korri...They need me to be strong._

 _In what crazy universe are you_ **not** _?_ The queen demanded, but her tone wasn't chiding. It was still so comforting and gentle.

 _But… I..._ Jak was floating now. Whatever was holding him was easing him into something warm.

 _Sleep, Jak Collains. Dream of a home in another galaxy. Dream of a place where you are not alone. Dream of children of many species at play together. Dream of worlds in which violence is never the first solution. Perhaps your dreams may not come to pass, but never let that stop you dreaming._

Jak could not articulate his feelings of gratitude as the rachni soothed him into a deeper sleep. Into peaceful dreams.

 _We love you too._

* * *

635 years later

Jak woke up with a splitting headache. Despite his best efforts, he could not stifle a groan.

"Easy."A female voice he did not know sounded from nearby. "Take it slow. You had a bad transition, but the docs have figured out the cause and are working on it. The headache should pass quickly. If not, Doctor Carlyle will do some of his magic."

"Korri?" Jak begged as he lay back, head throbbing. "Lara?"

"They are waking now." The other replied. "They didn't have _nearly_ as much trouble as you did."

"Good." Jak inhaled a few times, trying to breathe the pain out. It worked a little. "I had the strangest dreams." And he remembered them. Talking to Zumin, talking to the rachni. _The rachni!_ Jak jerked upright and a pair of hands caught him as he nearly fell over. He opened his eyes and groaned as pure pain slammed into them from bright lights.

" _Easy_!" The female voice said sharply. "You went through a _wringer_. You will be fine according to all the docs, but you need to take it _slow_ for at least a couple of days." This was a command and Jak nodded, taking deep breaths.

"I need to talk to the Pathfinder." Jak said after a few moments.

"You are." The voice had turned flat and Jak froze. The only way she could be the pathfinder was if Ryder was dead.

"He was an asshole, but a good man." Jak said softly. Someone choked on what sounded like a laugh.

"That he was. _Both._ " Jak opened her eyes more carefully and the girl who stood in front of him nodded as his eyes focused on her. She looked very familiar. Alex's daughter? "If you haven't guessed, I am Sara Ryder."

She wasn't supposed to be that pathfinder, was she? Jak thought about that, but his head hurt too much.

"Long story?" Jak asked, still breathing deeply. She nodded. "You have my condolences anyway. He was a good man and a good friend."

" _And_ an asshole." Sara smirked as Jak chuckled. "The man kept secrets just to _do_ it."

"Came with the job." Jak said with a sigh. He looked around and the room was very familiar. The quarters he, Korri and Lara had been assigned on the Hyperion, but now, two forms lay on the bed and a man in a medical tunic was watching both carefully. Korri was stirring, Lara had a slightly lecherous smile on her face. "He said he was going to leave a file for the next pathfinder in case something happened." Sara Ryder nodded and Jak relaxed. "You read it?"

"It will take a while to get to that shuttle storage bay." Sara Ryder said with a small frown. "Um, the Hyperion is a mess but that area is intact."

"We need to..." Jak sat up and regretted it as his head spun wildly.

" _You_ need to sit there and _recover_." Sara Ryder said sternly. "I know where I can get a _krogan_ to come in here and _sit_ on you if needed. And we _will_ need to talk to the krogan about this. Soon."

"Jak?" Korri's voice sounded and everyone looked to where she was. Her eyes were dim under her helmet visor, but her voice was getting stronger. "Did we make it?"

"Yes, Korri'Collains vas Hyperion." Sara Ryder said quietly. "You made it."

"Welcome to Andromeda."


End file.
